A Pregnancy Refresher

When Mrs. Chicky and I met, we both commiserated about recounted our pregnancy experiences. Needless to say, neither of us really enjoyed being pregnant. Ok, fine, we hated it.

Since I personally will never again be pregnant (cue the “Halleluiah Chorus” please) due to Hubby’s snip-snip procedure (that’s the proper medical term, right?) immediately shortly after the birth of our third son, and only Mr. and Mrs. Chicky know whether Chicky Baby will one day be a big sis, I wanted to compile a list for Mrs. Chicky to commemorate our “hating on pregnancy” conversation.

So here you go:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting—A Refresher
By Sarah at In the Trenches of Mommyhood

GOOD: The obvious one, eating for two. Another helping of dessert? Yes please, this one’s for the hungry fetus, of course.
BAD: The raging heartburn that follows the inhalation of the second burrito (because you were eating for two).

GOOD: Bathing suits with skirts.
BAD: They’re necessary for coverage of your ass that suddenly looks just as pregnant as your belly.

GOOD: Having a valid excuse to shop for new maternity clothes.
BAD: Regular clothes become annoyingly tight and slutty looking are simply no longer an option.
GOOD: Shopping for new shoes!
BAD: Because in the third trimester, your cute tootsies suddenly look like Fred Flintstone feet.

GOOD: No vacuuming! It becomes way too heavy, don’t you know?
BAD: If not you vacuuming, then who? Dammit.

GOOD: Thicker hair, longer fingernails, clear skin and a rosy complexion.
BAD: Hair falling out, food embedded in longer fingernails (see eating for two above) and a face now prone to teenage-like acne breakouts.

GOOD: Feeling those butterfly flutters in your belly for the first time.
BAD: Looking down at your belly and seeing and feeling elbows and feet protruding out of it.

GOOD: Having your spouse or family members rub your belly and feel the baby kick.
BAD: Having random strangers come up to you and do the same.

GOOD: Bigger, perkier, voluptuous boobs rivaling those of a Playboy centerfold.
BAD: *Sigh* They don’t last.

GOOD: Finally going into labor after 10 months (because we all know it’s not really 9) of highs and lows, ups and downs, mood swings, forgetfulness, and clumsiness.
BETTER: The epidural.
BEST: Becoming a mommy. Whether it's for the 1st, 2nd or 3rd time. Just that indescribable feeling.