Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Blogher? I don't even know her.

I've bought cute new shoes. My clothes are ready to be packed.

(As a quick aside: is there an award for the largest bag or the most overpacked? I tend to try to pack for every situation, and since I've never been to the Blogher conference, and I have no idea what to expect, I'm packing everything in my closet. Including my pith helmet and ass-less chaps. You never know when you'll be called upon to do some naked Western spelunking.)

My potions and lotions will be squirreled away in their appropriate plastic bags - not that it matters since I'll probably have to check my bag. I've got my business cards ready to go (Moo cards. Love them. No swag this year, though. Ran out of money. Maybe next year.). My toes are shiny with new polish and my hair will be attended to this evening. I'm expecting miracles. I'm sure my stylist will do wonders with my Mom Bob.

I'll have all the necessary electronics with me: Laptop, camera, iPod, cell phone. Maybe I should pack my portable defibrillator. You just never know.

Mr. C is taking the next couple of days off to be with Chicky, so they'll each be in good hands. I'm sure the house will be a disaster upon my return, but I'm hopeful that I'll be wrong.

My reservations have been confirmed.

I think that's everything. So, what am I forgetting?

Hmmm...

Oh yeah, my mind.

My brain is hiding underneath the pillows, which are under the comforter, which is in my bedroom behind a closed door with all the shades pulled down. My brain has not yet accepted the fact that I am leaving tomorrow. My poor melon cannot wrap its head (har) around the idea that I'll be in the company of all these women whose lives I've been reading about. But mainly my gray matter is freaking out because 1) I have to get on a plane tomorrow - and I hate flying - by myself, something I haven't done in years (Flying by myself, that is. Awkward sentence. Sorry.) and 2) there will be crowds. Of people. Some of whom will know of me without ever having met me. It's enough to make me want to hide in the bathroom.

If I have a slightly glazed look on my face when you meet me, that'll be why. I'll be completely overwhelmed and unable to control my situation. And I hate that. I'll adapt, of course, but I do not relish that first feeling of uncertainty. I'm a control freak, I'll admit it. I like to be totally comfortable in my surroundings, which means I like to know where I'm going at what time and what I will expect to see/do/experience when I get there.

I'm a laugh riot, I tell ya. A blast to be with.

I wasn't always like this. I suppose I've always had the tendency to be a control freak, but my controlling tendencies have multiplied exponentially since I began working with dogs and then took on a life of its own once I became a mother. I'm surrounded by creatures that need to be on schedules, that thrive on consistency. There's got to be repercussions stemming from living like that, right?

Eh, like I said - I'll adapt. Hand me a glass of wine and all will be fine and dandy like cotton candy.

To all of you ladies (and men) who will be heading to Blogher in the next day or so - fare thee well. Safe travels and all that. I'll see you all soon, albeit with a slightly glazed but quite genuine smile on my face. I'm thrilled over the prospect of meeting you all in person.

To those of you who will not be attending, I'll try to write updates on the conference and festivities while I'm there. I'll try to post pictures and all that. I remember how I felt last year when I was scanning the internet, looking for posts from Blogher. I will take you with me in spirit. And there's always next year.

One more thing:
I'll be bringing the black nail polish and I wear a size 9 shoe.

27 comments:

pinks & blues girls said...

If I were going to Blogher, I know I'd be feeling the same anxieties right now!

Except I am a total under-packer. I am usually the one with a grocery bag packed for a week away. I just hate unpacking, so I purposely bring the bare minimum.

Have a great time!! Use the alone time on the flight to sleep (Xanax and wine helps)! Haha.

Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls

Redneck Mommy said...

Great, lap top cratered, my camera is too freaking large to bring and I forgot all about business cards.

I'm soooooo looking forward to this.

I'm just gonna stare at your boobs the entire time.

Fair warning.

Mamma said...

I think I'm starting to get nervous. I just can't imagine being around all those incredibly talented women. I'm going to feel like such a fraud.

I think I gotta pee.

Lawyer Mama said...

Bring your portable defribrilator. I'm bringing mine and I don't want to be the odd girl out.

I have this goal of not checking a bag and it is seriously hampering my wardrobe choices. Damnit.

I have moo cards too. Love. them.

I will have a glazed expression too and will also be totally out of my element. I'll just look for the other person walking around looking like she's been hit upside the head with a 2x4.

Lara said...

i wish i could go! i'd love to meet all the people whose lives i consider an integral part of my own life. :-P

do you read lady m ever? (http://nupboard.blogspot.com) she will be attending, and she is playing messenger for me. she'll have something for you from me, so hopefully you two can find each other at some point. :)

hope you have a blast!

Christina said...

I've got a newborn, so I'm always in a glazed-over state. Shouldn't be hard to find me.

Good luck with the flight - I hate flying, too. That's why we're driving this year.

It'll be a blast - don't be nervous. You're going to have a wonderful time. And if not, come find me and I'll make sure you have fun.

JayJenny said...

Thanks, the photos and updates will be much appreciated becuase at this point, I'm a bit jealous! Have a great trip!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Sososososo wish I was going. So keep the updates coming! I'll start saving my pennies to fly with you next year!

sam said...

I am getting so damn jealous with all these BlogHer posts! LOL

Sounds like you've got everything but the kitchen sink. Are you sure you don't need one? What if they don't have one? Should you bring it anyways, just in case?

I went to check out those MOO cards. I am in love! So need those if I go to the next BlogHer.

ali said...

bah...if i were going, i would have had a bigger bag than you, i'm sure. i'm a chronic overpacker ;)

damnit, i wish i was going...

flutter said...

Oh have fun! I wish I was going!

Blog Antagonist said...

I overpack for everything too. I'm going to Chicago this weekend as well, and I think I've got like, 10 outfits packed. SIGH. Travelling light is not something I do well. Hope you have a great time!!

Julie Pippert said...

I've? Got nothing.

So you? HAVE LOADS OF FUN!

Kyla said...

Cards? Are we supposed to bring cards? I feel totally unprepared now. And also? Haven't even packed. Oh my. Why am I online right now? *lol*

Mom101 said...

My bag would be more overpacked except I only have FOUR outfits that fit these days. So basically, if I'm in the same skirt every day you'll know it's because the baby spit up on the other one.

Seriously can't wait to meet you. Yay!

jennster said...

you are going to have a GREAT TIME! i promise you! the worst part will be how to go on without them after it's all done! TRULY ENJOY EVERY MOMENT (and ass grab for me)

Kris said...

Have a blast! I'll be checking in for updates ....

jen said...

ah yes, madame chick. i can't wait to tackle you and your big bag.

Jenifer said...

Thank God SOMEONE is taking me with them....even if only virtually!!

Relax, you'll have a great time, just remember everyone else that's attending probably feels the same way you do..... besides your like a "celebrity" girl! I've read a lot of other blogs of women who are **freaking out** about meeting YOU!

Oh, The Joys said...

Can't wait! See you tomorrow!!

canape said...

I will have a bag full of clothes and nothing to wear.

I actually think we will all get along and have a great time.

If all else fails though, I'm up for sitting in a corner and talking about dogs with you . . .

mamatulip said...

Have a great time...I'll be anxiously awaiting your updates!

Redsy said...

Glad I"m not the only one who's packed 3 weeks worth of clothes.

Hope to meet you ...

-Rachael

Jess Riley said...

Enjoy!! Can't wait to hear the recap.

Queeny said...

Have a martini on me. Bill me later.

FENICLE said...

Have a wonderful time! You should try VistaPrint. They've got good prices!!

And I also hate flying alone :)

kittenpie said...

You ARE a blast to be with! Glad your brain finally came out of hiding and decided to join you on your trip.