Sunday, July 15, 2007

Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now.

Hi.

Uh...

So, the rest of my trip. Yeah. Things to say about it. Hmm...

I do have stories, none of which would really interest you - or me for that matter, since it is my blog and all and this writing is supposed to be for me and... aw, hell. Bottom line, thinking of it bores me to tears so why subject you all to that.

Because, do you know what you see on the trip between Saint Paul and Wisconsin?

Malachai! He wants you too, Malachai!

Lots of corn and lots of cows and that's pretty much it. For six hours.

Oh wait. There was that stop and the A&W. That was fun.

I do thank the inventors of the portable DVD player, however, for the help in anesthetizing Chicky for at least part of our trip. That little contraption helped. A lot.

And to the makers of Sun Chips. I thank you too.

It's 280 miles to Wisconsin, I've got my blankie, a bag of chips, and Blues Clues on the DVD. Hit it.

We did enjoy ourselves in Wisconsin. The beauty of that state - yes, even the miles upon miles of corn - is breathtaking. The town where we visited, though not a place where we would go if not for the familial connection, was worth the trip. But, whooo. It was HOT. And with hot you get cranky, and cranky toddlers are never fun when you're meeting your husband's mother's first cousin's middle child's new husband for the first time.

I'm not kidding about that. Not even a little bit.

Good times. Good times.

It's worth mentioning one small, itty bitty, relatively insignificant part of that leg of our trip. In my two+ years of being a mom I have never felt more like a second class citizen than I did when meeting all of Mr. C's extended family.

All you mamas, you might want to settle in for this one.

In the couple of days that we were there, among family, not once did anyone inquire as to what I did for a living, what my interests were, or anything about me - other than my name, and even then I think I was just that guy's wife - other than the care and feeding of Chicky.

Hi. Yeah, don't mind me. I'm just the uterus.

I mean, hey, I know she's cute, and there was never a doubt that once she sprung forth from my girlie parts that life as I knew it was over. But it was kind of hard to be a part of a group where everyone was asking each other about their lives outside of the family, who they were and what made them that, and be skipped over. And all because I was a mother.


I knew it would happen one day, I guess I just wasn't 100% ready for that slight. So, instead of sticking my nose into conversations about jobs and careers I embraced my role as mother and aunt and spent time with Chicky and Mr. C's nephews. I'm good in that role. I'm good in other situations too but it was just too hot to fight it.

Thankfully, there were only two days of that before we were back on the road. Plenty of time to lick my wounds and console myself with large quantities of salty, bloat-inducing snacks. Plenty of time to get punchy and silly (Look! Cows!). Plenty of time to pick at my pedicure. And more than enough time to wonder how in the world I got Demi Moore's pre-surgery knees.

How much does a knee lift cost, anyway?

Thankfully, I was spending so much time on it that I had little opportunity to contemplate the state of my ass. My aging knees were enough, thankyouverymuch.

Have I mentioned yet that I've never spent that much time in a car in one shot? I live in Massachusetts, for chrissake. You want to hit six or seven states it only takes about an hour and a half. I never want to be in a car for that long EVER AGAIN.


I crush your car. Squish, squish.

So, that was part two of our family trip (Not a vacation! It was not a vacation. It's never a vacation when you're traveling with a toddler) in a nut shell. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare for "Scott Baio is 45 and single". Oh my sweet Jesus. Is anyone else as excited about this show as I am?

Anyone?

I'll leave you with one little thing. This is what happens when you spend six hours on the road in a ten year old Geo Prism with the man you love, a really cranky, overtired toddler and a camera:


'Nuff said.



38 comments:

Jenifer said...

I totally agree on the NEVER a vacation when you are with a toddler!! OMG.. you are more tired when you get home than when you left... you need a vacation after your trip!!!!

Or at least copious amounts of alcohol!!

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

LOVE the caption on that pic of your daughter. Sun Chips AND Blue's Clues? Our children are kindred spirits :)

flutter said...

LOL I crush your head! Oh now I love you even more with all of your Kids in the Hallness.

Also? We should have have moms as cool as you.

Major Bedhead said...

Dood. Kids In The Hall AND Wayne's World in one post? I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy!


I once drove 13 - yes, thirt-fucking-teen - hours to visit my in-laws. Oy and vey. The town TCBIM grew up in doesn't even have a stop light. It's the back of the back of the back of beyond Ontario. The most exciting thing is a Canadian Tire. Whoo. And the Wal-Mart. We were there for ten - T-E-N days. I was SO glad when they moved to Alberta. Now they visit us. It's great.

creative-type dad said...

Love that squish!

6 hours of corn? Have you ever driven through texas? Try 80 hours of dirt! (ugly dirt too!)

MotherBumper said...

"Malachai"?, Schwing?, object squishing? Scott Baio is 45 and single? I'm not sure which one to concentrate on - love your observations so freakin' much.

Anyhoo... when I go on trips with B to the in-law side of things, I am just a walking womb - I hear ya' Mrs. Chicky, I feel ya (not really, just I get you).

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I say it is never a vacation when you are visiting the family. It shouldn't count! Vacations should involve room service, drinks with umbrellas and lots of restaurants.

It's too bad no one asked you about your life outside of mothering. I always feel sort of robotic when people treat me as 'just a mom'.

kgirl said...

crikey she's a cute one.

having been a deadhead, i loves me a road trip. one cranky toddler = a few cranky, smelly hippies at least, so i can deal. the huz on the other hand, recalls the road trip only as a torture device his parents came up with to punish them for a year's worth of misdeeds.

i haven't been on a road trip in a loooong time. even yours sounded fun.

kgirl said...

oh yeah, and mad props on the canadian content of this post. you've earned a red maple leaf.

Pendullum said...

Poor you...
and poor Mr. Chicky...
Because I know in my weird warped mind... I would blame him for his relatives and their oldfashioned ways... and I would give him an earful in the car on the ride through the cornfields...

RachelW said...

She is so cute I can see how you might get ignored. You should learn to use it in your favor, as I do: just stand behind them all the time and no one notices your hair needs cutting and your clothes don't match... or that's what I hope, anyway!

pinks & blues girls said...

Sounds... fun? Yikes! If I ever go to Wisconsin, I'll be sure to avoid that fun crowd! :)

Jane, P&B Girls

Julie Pippert said...

No kidding about driving! I could be out of MA, in NY state on the Taconic in the time it takes me to get out of HOUSTON (the city!).

It takes DAYS to get out of the state.

And there's not even corn for scenery in some parts.

Sounds...interesting, your trip. LOL

Shall we call you Her Mom now? ;)

mothergoosemouse said...

LMAO at the squishing. I knew we "got" each other.

Those kinds of trips just suck. The food and drink is the only good part (and sometimes those even suck too).

Mom101 said...

This makes me angry on your behalf. It's not fun to be made to feel irrelevent, even if you did make lemonade out of those bitter, rancid Wisconsin lemons.

GRAY MATTER MATTERS said...

I know exactly how you feel and to prove that we are kindred spirits check out my post about this very subject:
“Just” is a four-letter word.

And you know what, a lot of women commented that we (I) should feel super proud of being a mom, and I do, but that doesn't change the fact that , in your words, people treat you as a second class citizen. I loved this post. Welcome back.

Blog Antagonist said...

OMG is that TONIGHT? Or did I already miss it? DRAT! Running to DVR now.

You are making me extremely homesick with this post. I have to get home soon. And yes, mobile entertainment systems are manna from heaven. Period.

JaniceNW said...

Oh I so miss car trips with my 3 brothers, my parents, who smoked in the car, and the cornfields of Ohio on the way to Pittsburg to visit my very narrow grandparents. Oh baby. The love was overflowing back then! Not so much.

McHub has a Surburban so the drive from Seattle to Santa Barbara where the outlaws live isn't bad. Between the lapstops for DVDs and the iPods and the cd players we be cool.

To the outlaws I was a baby maker as well. Or to my sil that not good enough for my brother woman! She used to (seriously) rush the car and try to grab BPB out of his carseat before we could even put the car in park. This is why I loved nursing. I got BPB back. So there.


Now I get a How's School(with the undertone why don't you have a job bitch so my brother wouldn't have to work so hard?)every 3 months or so. Oh, I say, I got straight A's last qrt. No response.(I miss my mom! She woulda gotten all hyped over the grades!)


Your girl is so very cute! But I do not miss Blue's Clues one little itty bit!

PunditMom said...

If it's any consolation, my family never asks anything about me ... they're MUCH more interested in Mr. PunditMom ... and I'm not even "the uterus" since PunditGirl is adopted.

mamatulip said...

Kids in the Hall and Wayne's World references in the SAME POST. My head is going to explode from the greatness.

You're braver than we are...the longest car trip we've ever taken with the kids is about 3 hours. And each time I've exited the car hoping to stumble upon a patch of Valium growing wildly in the bushes.

jen said...

it sounds like the best possible non vacation a hot chickered mom can take.

squish squish.

Kristi said...

Chicky Baby is getting soooo big. Sniff...they grow up so fast, sniff...

painted maypole said...

Charles in Charge is 45? Oh no. It's can't be. I refuse to watch. That will keep him from aging. Yes, I will just remember him as the hunky babysitter we all wish was ours...

Salome's Mom said...

You are brave, I would not attempt such a trip. I love your blog, just came across it. Your little girl is just breath taking.

Yoli

Ruth Dynamite said...

Re the uterus thing, I would call it a Cloak of Invisibility. Never before had I felt so invisible than after I had kids. It was very hard to take. After awhile, though, I felt strangely liberated.

ChaChi, on the other hand, seems imprisoned by own fears. I wish Fonzie or Mr. C were around to set him straight.

shauna said...

That's some trip! But I love that you shared... (And I just caught a rerun of the first Scott Baio episode--got to DVR that--they should retitle it Chatchee and His Woes).

Susan S. said...

Hey Mrs. Chicky! I can SO relate! All my relatives are in Wisconsin (with the exception of brother in Michigan). We've done the trek from MA in both a car and a plane, and it is a toss up as to which was the most taxing. I am thinking of investing in one of those portable DVD things as we speak.

cape buffalo said...

You, as always, rock my world with the pop culture references. And between Scott Baio and Bret Michaels (not to mention the Singing Bee and World Series of Pop Culture) is a healing balm on my summer television crankies.

Do you watch next food network star?

Sorry you were ignored. Nobody puts Chicky in a corner.

Redneck Mommy said...

You will never be irrelevant to me darling. Sure I crush on the little chicklet's cuteness, but let's face it: She got all her adorability from you.

(Bwhahahaha...I have to say that...I haven't contacted your hubs yet...)

I promise, when we are bunking together, I will pester you with a million questions to make you feel warm and cherished.

How old are you, did you like radio, will my dog ever stop licking his nuts, what's your favorite colour, do you like asparagus, what colour are your underwear...Oh wait. One question too many...

Queeny said...

Funny! Insightful! Corny! Makes me wanna visit Wisconsin -- OK, just the corn fields.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Yeeeeaaaaah. We're finally settled after 28 hours on the road, broken into three trips.

ugh, i feel your pain.

wayabetty said...

I hear you there Mrs. Chicky. We do a 4 hour trip to NJ to visit the in-laws probably once a month and it's really painful with 3 kids. Now, it'll be 4 kids in Sept on the road...that should be interesting.

Her Bad Mother said...

Dude. That's Terror Corn. We hate terror corn.

Her Bad Mother said...

Also? As if we needed any more evidence of your inherent Canadianness - you go and bust out Kids in the Hall.

Anonymous said...

I am a faithful reader of Chicky Chicky Baby and must tell you I love every post. You inspire me daily. Just a weird "it's a small world" comment. I live 15 minutes from the town of Mineral Point Wisconsin and actually attend a church in Mineral Point weekly. I really almost needed a pants change when I read your blog today. WOW!

kittenpie said...

Oh, I know that landscape. My mother is from Iowa, so we made a yearlyu trek from Toronto, around the bottom of Lake Michigan, through Wisconsin, and over to her small town. And my aunt, who lives in Minneapolis, was sometimes also on the trip menu. It's a loooong haul, baby.

(And I always seem to get stuck with the kids, too. Just cause I work with them... Don't I get a break? sheesh. )

Susan said...

I love the caption inspired by the Blues Brothers. Friggin' awesome. However, you have not exactly inspired me regarding my upcoming vacation(?) with my toddler. It really won't be a vacation, will it? Why am I going? Why???

Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt

Lawyer Mama said...

Dude. I think we just had the same vacation. I have about 30 strange pictures that I took from the car. I was bored.

I know what you mean about just being the uterus. It's a bit humbling. And then if somebody does accidentally happen to ask what I do & they hear that I'm a real person (and not just mom to the heir and spare) they look shocked.