Monday, September 03, 2007

Home is where you're forced to make it

As part of our Fifth Anniversary Spectacular(!) - which was 24 full hours without Chicky (thanks to the in-laws), some sushi, and... you can use your imagination - Mr. C and I went to tour a house that had just come on the market.

(Oh sure, like you'd expect us to be having non-stop sex for 24 hours, right? We're not Sting and Trudy. Get a grip.)

The house was perfect in every way: Two car attached garage, three bedrooms with a fourth in the finished basement, redone kitchen with stainless and granite, family room, and a screened-in three season porch, all on over an acre of land in IN OUR PRICE RANGE. It was so wonderful I'm fairly sure if I rubbed the built-ins in the family room I'd be granted three wishes by a genie in a fez.

And the sellers already had a strong offer that they had accepted.

@$#&%#@%$!!!!


If this is your screen room, PLEASE rethink your offer and sell to us. I'll be your best friend. I'll bake you cookies. I'll get you a call girl. Whatever it takes.

So, no house for us. Mr. C and I spent the rest of the day moping like a couple of kids who just found out there was no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny and were pretty sure the Tooth Fairy was a sham too.

Funny thing is, we weren't even in the market for a new house. The one we're in is fine - not perfect, but fine - but this one popped up on the MLS updates we get by email and it spoke to us. It whispered sweet nothings in our ears of love and magical ponies and fellatio. But it was not to be.

I'm thinking of stalking the new owners. Maybe haunting their house and driving them out, ala Poltergeist or the Amityville Horror. Anyone know where I could get some corpses? Cheap?

No, we're not in the market but we like to look because even though we like our house, we don't love it. It needs work, just some updating, and frankly I don't know if I'm that emotionally invested in it to bother. Not to mention that I'm not enamored with our location. The town is fine but the neighborhood leaves something to be desired. Nothing like living near a family whose sons shot the neighbor's Bichon and your bedroom window with a paint gun and the parents were just like "Eh, it's just boys being boys".

It would be nice if they put their dog on a leash occasionally, too.

But I have to admit, it's going to be hard leaving this house if the next perfect one comes along. Mr. C and I were married in the backyard.

(I do not recommend that. Not for one second.)

This is where our dogs have grown up. This is the house we brought Chicky home to as a wee colicky newborn. And in the immortal words of the American Idol judges, we've really made it our own.

We've decided to work with a realtor anyway. The way I figure, it's going to take awhile for the perfect house to fall in our laps, so what's the bother in having a professional run around doing the work for us? In the meantime we'll patch up the scratched woodwork and maybe re-do the bathroom. And I'll buy my own paintball gun. Just in case.


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Over at New England Mamas:

A couple of the ladies are talking about the Buchholz no-hitter. One of our writers was there... with her Yankee-loving husband. She's a bigger woman than I.

Sarah is an Iron Girl - or as I call her, a glutton for punishment - and she's looking for more.

I'm becoming convinced that there is no such thing as a mother blogger from Maine. Or a father blogger for that matter. I've gone looking and everything and still no luck. Please help us spread the word. We're looking for one contributor from Maine who is a parent and also has a their own blog (and it doesn't have to be a "mommy blog"). If we don't find one soon we'll have to call ourselves the "Mamas from Five New England States, excluding that one with all the lobster". The email address is NEMamas [at] yahoo [dot] com.

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One more thing and then I'm done:

Metro Mama and I decided to skip last month's ROFL Awards, due to all sorts of fucked uppedness that was going on in our lives.

But they're back! Yes! Back with a vengeance!

(If you don't know what in the Sam Hell I'm talking about go here.)

This coming Friday the July/August ROFL's will be posted so we need your nominations. Send the nominations for the funniest posts on teh internets (they don't have to be limited to parent bloggers either) to Chicky Chicky Baby 2 [at] yahoo [dot] com. Send them in by 10pm Eastern Time on Thursday, Sept. 6.

Oh, and because we skipped last month you can nominate a funny post from either July or August.

Spread the laughter and award someone another useless button for their sidebar. Get those nominations in now. Like, today. Or soon. Really soon. Tomorrow would be good. Or Wednesday... Thursday at the latest, 'kay?

25 comments:

Lara said...

if you want corpses for cheap, i say find some folks you don't like and just make your own corpses. i suggest starting with the paintball goons. :-P

mothergoosemouse said...

I think your way is the smart way, especially in the east coast real estate market.

But it does suck to find such a great house and see that somebody else already found it first.

Anna&Sophie said...

Sooo true!!!!

Mimi Lenox said...

Married in the backyard. OUCH. But so romantic. You'll find that perfect exit and then you can get re-married in that backyard.

Make sure there's a jacuzzi available somewhere.....

Lawyer Mama said...

Damn. That is a very fine screened in porch room there. Damn those eager beavers!

kittenpie said...

I'm all torn, myself, between wanting to just move instead of dealing with our house and thinking the location is so great it's worth the reno hell. Though frankly, our block is half-and-half. I love some neighbours, but there are a few kids on the block I just don't like. It's never perfect, is it? sigh.

Whirlwind said...

We're not in the market for a new house yet either. But every once in a while I see something I like. We have brought up the prospect of moving recently with the house prices on the decline, but I think we'll just wait and see what happens over the next year or so. I'd like a house with one more bedroom and a few acres. It can be the same town or a neighboring town, but generally I like the area. And I really like the girls school.

Alley Cat said...

We have loved and lost several homes the same way. It's a little heartbreaking after you start picturing yourselved in it. There's always another.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

oh man! I feel your pain. We were buying in the height if Denver's bubble and lost 7 houses. Several of them that I still morn. Hope you find something even better. :)

pinks & Blues Girls said...

That looks like an awesome room... is it surrounded by an enchanted forest!? Sure looks like it!

The house we're in now had a few other offers on it when we put ours in. Luckily, the other offers fell through and we're the proud owners of our dream home - that needs a lot more work than we ever imagined our dream house would need. ;)

Jane, P&B Girls

flutter said...

yeah that screen room is fabulous. I would live just in that...

motherbumper said...

Sorry 'bout the house - house shopping is torture, plain ol' torture - I feel for you.

Are you sure they even have the internet in Maine?

Wendy said...

magical ponies and fellatio

Now that is hard not to listen to.

Magpie said...

Put a bid in anyway. The other one could fall through - they often do.

slouching mom said...

Hahahah, motherbumper just cracked me up.

Megin who runs GNMParents (www.gnmparents.com) also has her own blog, and I think she's from Maine...

Manic Mommy said...

We're into real estate porn ourselves. We're in a similar position where we like our house but it's too small and not necessarily worth adding to.

Fortunately or unfortunately, we love our neighborhood, which is a 10 house cul-de-sac with 7 (count 'em! 7!) kids under the age of five -- and we like the parents!

Good problem to have, I guess but tough to leave.

Oh, The Joys said...

I know you said it wasn't romantic, but that screen porch is HOT, right? The things you culd do out there.

painted maypole said...

I finally followed all the links and discovered what ROFL means (OK, I'm a wee bit slow, I know) I had a general idea and all, but I like to know specifics. So, thanks.

We love our screened in porch, but it is not nearly as nice as that one.

jen said...

i wonder if Sting and Trudi could have gotten the house.

tantra dude. don't knock it.

BOSSY said...

Is it Bossy or does Oh The Joys always have her mind in the gutter? Hi Joys!

So - you got an agent, huh? Fer chrissake, whenever Bossy begins to germinate the tiniest seed of an idea like that - like: oh, look, house, maybe we should have a different house - her husband sighs and says, "It's as good as DONE."

Mamacita Tina said...

Looking at houses always makes me queasy. You find "THE ONE," and get really, really excited. Then blam, you find out it's already sold. Such an extreme of emotions. It's been four years since we've lived through that experience, I think I'll wait at least another four.

Kristin said...

Listen, let me know if you need help with that whole house-a-haunting thing... I could get into that.

Damselfly said...

That view is amazing! (I'm sure you could get some corpses at the local cemetary. Or morgue. It could be worth it.)

Rusti said...

We actually are in the market for a new house, but we've had that happen several times already, we find a house, fall in love with it, get our offer ready - and they've already accepted another... it happened like 3 or 4 times... and what's even worse is we, of course, have to sell ours before we can buy a new one... and we haven't had a single bit of interest... oh well... I guess we'll be stuck in the city for a little longer... oh and hey, my hubby's a cop - should I ask him if he can get you some bodies? ;)

PunditMom said...

I LOVE the way OTJ thinks! Groveling and call girls should definitely help!