I know as their mom I should have warned them their faces would freeze this way

But as the woman who vomited for a combined 18 months while carrying them in my womb, I'll take the silly where I can get it.

This is what happens when I say, "Make a silly face!" Wow.

February ROFLs

It's time for the ROFL Awards!

Here are this month's nominees. Visit them, laugh with them, in some cases laugh AT them. It's all good.

Congratulations to all!


Vodka Mom awarded Idiot Stew

simply nutmeg awarded the Catherinette Chronicles

Mamadosey awarded Is It 5'O Clock yet?

Mary Murtz awarded The Blogess

Motherbumper awarded Where Am I Going... And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

Fairly Odd Mother awarded Ordinary Days

It's A Schmitty Life awarded Temporarily Me

Prefers Her Fantasy Life awarded Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin awarded Diary of a Mad Housewife

Hope4Peyton awarded Barefoot Foodie


-------------------

Remember, you too can help spread the laughter. If you're not sharing the funny then you're part of the problem. It's true.

The ROFLs are brought to you, with sweat, tears and lots of eskimo kisses, by your friends at Oh, the Joys and Chicky Chicky Baby. As always, if you want to know the rules (the rules, the RULES) GO HERE.

January ROFLs

It's time for the ROFLs! Time to tickle those funny bones - which is infinitely better than bumping your funny bone because that hurts like a sunufabeech.

My nomination for this month defies explanation - you just need to read it to believe it. And if all her award nominations (for other, less prestigious awards than the ROFLs, of course) are any indication you have read this particular post. EVERYONE reads Redneck Mommy, right?

Yep, thought so.

Congratulations to this month's nominees!

Sayre Smiles awarded Absolutely Bananas

Oh, The Joys awarded Sweatpants Mom

Vodka Mom awarded Bern This

Cool Zebras awarded Rimarama

Miss Grace and Zoe awarded Swistle

Fairly Odd Mother awarded Redneck Mommy

Mary Murtz got all crazy, broke the rules and awarded The Blogess, Cake Wrecks, Mom-O-Matic, and Where's My Cape. (Wow, just wow.)

Mom 101 awarded Sundry Morning

Patois awarded Confessions of a Coal Miner's Granddaughter

Magpie Musing awarded Stimeyland

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The ROFLs are brought to you, with sweat, tears and a lot of eskimo kisses, by your friends at Oh, the Joys and Chicky Chicky Baby. As always, if you want to know the rules (the rules, the RULES) GO HERE.

December ROFLs - The last of '08 edition

Happy happy, joy joy.

Okay, she's the Joy and you brought the happy, right? Right? It is the ROFLs, after all.

The post that had me peeing my pants - in a good way, not in that icky, wet feeling and then you don't have a fresh pair of undies so you grab a new pair of pants and have to go commando but the pants are this rough denim and it's really uncomfortable and you walk around for the rest of the day like you have a stick up your arse way...

Anyway.

My nomination for this month is by a dear friend who just happens to wear the occasional mumu, which is hilarious if you knew how wee she was and the thought of her wearing that much fabric makes me laugh and laugh and laugh...

Anyway.

I nominate Motherbumper and her post You'll See That Life is a Frolic and Laughter is Calling for You...

Not only is it funny but now we all have the Three's Company theme song in our heads. Oh happy happy.

Here's the rest of this month's nominees!


Queen of the Shake Shake awarded Marinka from Motherhood in NYC

Whee All The Way Home awarded Not Calm

Oh, The Joys awarded The Blogess

Holly awarded Friday Play Date

Write On Yo awarded Heavy On The Caffeine

Major Bedhead awarded Movin Down the Road

Fairly Odd Mother awarded Dysfunctional Housewife

Mama Bub awarded Swistle

Assertagirl awarded Jonniker

Let the Dog In awarded Whopping Cornbread

Can't Remember Diddley awarded Irregularly Periodic Ruminations

Rimarama awarded Halushki


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As always, if you want to know the rules (the rules, the RULES) GO HERE.

November ROFL Awards

Boy howdy, do I need funny right now. And would you looky here? Today is ROFL day!

What a coincidence.

My nomination for this month came out of the whole Motrin fiasco. A ray of sparkly light shining brightly from out of the shit storm on the wings of fairies carrying red velvet cupcakes frosted with ground unicorn horns.

I'm awarding Motherhood Uncensored and Imperfect Parent for their video spoof of the Motrin Mom commercial.

Oh my stars, I nearly laughed my (very real and very leaky) boobs off.

Congratulations to this month's nominees!


Magpie Musing awarded beanpaste

Can't Remember Diddly! and Mom-O-Matic awarded Deb On The Rocks

Keeping Up With The Nelsons awarded Minnesota Mama

Oh, The Joys awarded Mom-O-Matic

Blonde Mom Blog awarded Queen of the Shake Shake

Mama Milton awarded Bee Repartee

Sugarplum's Mom awarded Oh, The Joys

Wendy Aarons awarded Bern This

Logical Kid awarded himself!

Psychic Geek awarded The Art of Over Thinking

Issa awarded Motherhood Uncensored

Cool Zebras awarded Undomestic Diva

Apathy Lounge awarded Derfwad Manor

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Want to know the rules for the ROFLs? GO HERE.

No, really. Go there. There are rules, people. RULES. But they're not hard to follow or anything. Promise. If I can follow them, anyone can.

*mutters something about rules, hikes pants up around armpits like 9th grade English teacher, and shuffles away to sit on a park bench and feed pigeons*

Nudge nudge

Today is the last day for nominating a post for a November ROFL!

(My how time flies. It seems like just yesterday we were spraying coffee through our noses and onto our keyboards because of the October nominees. Memories.)

Pick a post that made you... well... ROFL.

(duh)

Then send the link to that post, as well as a link to your blog, to me:

Chicky Chicky Baby [at] Hotmail [dot] com

or Oh, the Joys

Oh The Joys [at] Gmail [dot] com

(Or, as I like to call us, the Head Betches in Charge of Da Funny Round These Here Parts)

On Friday we will post the winners and all will rejoice in the funniness.

Huzzah!

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You want some rules? I've got yer rules right here.

(Clicky the linky to learn the skinny on the ROFLs-y. Um, yeah.)

October ROFL Awards

It's funny time again!

(Is it wrong that we need to schedule funny time? Yes, yes it is. It should happen every day, like Tea Time. Ooh, look! It's 3 o'clock. It's Tea Time.)

(What?)

My nomination for this month was not only funny but damn clever too. And the writer did it all while dealing with three kids. How anyone even wipes their own ass while dealing with three children, I'll never know. But writing an entire song parody/ode to tampons? Wow.

So I'm nominating Mothergoosemouse and her post "The Cost of Tampons". Trust me, you won't listen to Simon and Garfunkle quite the same way ever again.

Congratulations to this month's nominees:

Killing A Fly with A Ukelele awarded Graze If You Want To...

Rusti awarded Her Bad Mother

Little Nut Tree awarded Suburban Mum

SJ awarded What Ladder?

Maddy awarded Magnetobold

Under the Mad Hat awarded Collecting Tokens

Lottifish awarded The Blogess

Magpie Musing awarded Waitress Where's My Martini

Motherbumper awarded Mr.Lady

Dutch Blitz awarded Full of Snark

Tiny Mantras awarded Prefers Her Fantasy Life

Queen of the Shake Shake awarded Miss Britt

All Rileyed Up awarded What Works for Us

Whee! All the Way Home awarded The Spohrs are Multiplying

wellreadhostess awarded Formerly Fun

Oh, The Joys awarded Notes From The Trenches

As always, don't forget to get your nomination in for November's ROFLs. Send them either to me at Chicky Chicky Baby [at] Hotmail [dot] com or Oh, the Joys, my partner in crime and funnyness (shut up, it could be a word) at OhTheJoys [at] Gmail [dot] com.

September ROFLs!

*** Update!

I forgot a nominee! I suck, but in my defense I haven't slept since 2007. See the added nominee below in red. ***


I'd love to write a knee-slapper here - you know, since this is the first ROFL Awards in about a bajillion years and I have a sexy new co-host. But C.C. is still not sleeping... blah, blah, blahdee, blah. So on and so forth. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And the cow jumped over the moon.

Wait. What?

Oh yeah. The ROFL Awards. Right.

I'm so glad to have these awards back because the world needs more funny. And the Vice Presidential debate is just not cutting it.

My nomination for the relaunch of the ROFLs is for a post written by one of the best women blog writers out there. And I'm not just saying that because she's paying me.

She usually writes some pretty serious stuff but this post - which is actually a re-post actually but I don't care because... well, because I just don't care - made me pee my pants. Which, come to think of it, really isn't that hard after having two kids. But it is damn funny. Especially since it's all about talking babies and believe me, after staying up all night every night for a month with an infant a parent starts to believe that their baby is really talking to them. Usually in four letter words.

So my nomination this month is for Blog Antagonist's Out of the Mouths of Babes.

Congratulations BA!

On to this months nominees:

Motherbumper awarded For a Different Kind of Girl

Let the Dog In! awarded Derfwad Manor

Charming & Delightful awarded Flutter (for this guest post at One Plus Two)

The Heart of a Cult awarded Skepchick

Backpacking Dad awarded every post he's ever written. Seriously.

Can We Kick The Bar Here and Growing A Life awarded The Blogess

A Smeddling Kiss awarded Petunia Face

Hope 4 Peyton awarded The Sphors Are Multiplying

All Rileyed Up awarded Scribbit

A Schmitty Life awarded In The Trenches of Mommyhood

Missy McKerroll awarded OKJIMM'S EGGROLL EMPORIUM

Oh, The Joys awarded Mom Voyage

Momma's Tantrum awarded Killing A Fly with A Ukelele

Tales from the Dad Side awarded Avitable

Patois awarded Joy Unexpected

simplynutmeg awarded The Well Read Hostess

Sugarplum's Mom awarded DooDaddy

Midwestern Mommy nominated Hola, Isabel!

Rusti awarded Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper

----------------------------------------

Don't forget to get your nomination in for November's ROFLs. Send them either to me at Chicky Chicky Baby [at] Hotmail [dot] com or Oh, the Joys, my partner in crime and funnyness (shut up, it could be a word) at OhTheJoys [at] Gmail [dot] com.

The Rawfuls! Um, the Rohfuls? No wait, the ROFLs!

Once upon a time, there were two women who thought "Hey, the blog world is way too full of itself. We should be rewarding those who rage against the sober, and the serious too, and celebrate the laughter with pointless buttons that will clutter up our sidebars and awards that don't even come with a stuffy banquet and complimentary baked stuffed chicken!"

Okay, I have no idea if they thought that. What I do know is that from these women's loins sprang forth the ROFL Awards!

(Not really from their loins because that would be weird. I mean, how would you even explain that to your OB? And to your significant other? And, hey! Look over there! It's a bizarre tangent!)

But! I'd be lying if dry poultry with a choice of two sides wasn't somewhere on my mind when they passed the reigns to me and a certain Canadian. Because if there's anything I love, it's banquet food.

Wait, I had a point here. I think. I'm working on three hours of sleep so just work with me, okay?

The ROFLs. Right.

Unfortunately, time constraints, family obligations, and a lot of persistently heavy posts beat the poor ROFLs into hiding. For all its bravado, the ROFLs is a sensitive beast and it took a mighty warrior to ride in on her magnificent steed to coax them out of their hiding place.

It was... The Nominatrix!

And my, how she rode that steed. She rode it hard and proud, with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. Which is strange since she has a preference for riding park rangers.

What was I saying?

She spoke to them of sun dappled meadows full of happy, dancing children who slept 12 hours at a time and lured them out with bits of Twinkies, a nice Pinot Noir, and promises of laughter and ponies and rainbows. And laughing rainbow ponies drinking Pinot Noir.

And on the seventh day, she rested.

(Three hours of sleep and we'll see how well you do with keeping your stories straight. The only thing on my mind today is the ROFLs and sleep. And more sleep.)

Anyway.

Jessica of Oh, the Joys and I are bring back the ROFL Awards but we NEED YOUR HELP. Yes! All caps! That is how much we NEED YOUR HELP.

But how, Tania? How can I help?

Funny you should ask.

Nominate a post for the September ROFL Awards!

The deadline is October 1st.

To nominate:

1. Pick a post from the month of September that made you laugh.

[Please only choose original material written or developed by a blogger, any blogger - i.e., not a YouTube video, cartoon, or joke circling the Net. Because, dude, lame.]


2. E-mail me a link to the post that you are nominating AND a link to your blog by October 1st.

[Jessica and I will send you the award button so you can share it with the blogger you've nominated.]


3. On Friday, October 3rd, write a post on your blog about the post you chose.

[Please link back to this blog and to Jessica at Oh, the Joys so that people can see the full list of award winning funny posts.]


4. Send the award button code to your awardee so they can post it.


We're also rebuilding the ROFL Award mailing list.


If you want to be included on the mailing list and recieve monthly notifications about the upcoming ROFL deadlines, leave a comment here with your e-mail address listed or Jessica an e-mail at OhTheJoys(at)GMail(dot)com.


Feel free to e-mail me with questions.


I can't wait to bring back the funny! Right after I get some shut eye.

November ROFL Awards

It's that time again. Time for that whole funny thing we do every month - the ROFL (roll on floor laughing, for the acronym-challenged) Awards.

My nominee is going to seem like a complete cop-out and maybe it is, I have spent more time with damp towels on my forehead, moaning like a dying woman, than reading blogs lately. But I have been puke-free for like, multiple days in a row. So bring on the funny people!*

I nominate MamaLee and her post about her anti-Martha Thanksgiving.

Sure it's on that new website that I founded (you know, the one with the wicked cool contest going on for just another day!) and it seems like blog nepotism giving an award to a post on the blog I contribute to, but I really could care less. The post was funny and that's what this award is about - funny posts. So there.

Nyah.

Here's the rest of this month's nominees!


Pundit Mom awarded Self Made Mom

Moosh in Indy awarded Clink

Bri awarded Crystal

Red Stapler awarded I Am Bossy

Jozet awarded Beanpaste

Marie awarded A Pile of Dog Bones


*You may notice the nominations are a little light this month. I'm going to chalk it up to a quiet month around the internet. Next month I expect there will be many, many, many more nominations. Right?

Right?

I thought so. Carry on.

Every time a cork pops, a wino gets his wings

Chicky is a child of routine. We can deviate from our usual schedule every once in a while and she adapts pretty well but not until she's had a minor meltdown. She's a kid, she likes predictability. I can't blame her one bit.

The other night Mr. C and I took her Christmas shopping with us. Nothing extreme, just a quick trip to one of the big warehouse stores looking for bargains on electronic gadgets, but she was already showing signs of crankiness. Low blood sugar. Big warehouse stores suck when you're in need of a Goldfish cracker fix.

The item I was looking for was out of stock and we didn't need four hundred pounds of diapers or giant vats of ketchup so we left empty handed, which is unusual for us. Before T.B. Wams was conceived we would have at least made a stop in the caged off liquor area for our monthly case of cheap wine.

Ah, the good old days.

As we walked out hand in hand in hand, Chicky started crying, "Noooo!"

"What's the matter honey?"

"Mama and Daddy's wiowueroujrofjsf!" she said through tears.

"What?" It's hard to understand a screaming toddler sometimes.

"Wine! Mama and Daddy need to get wine!"

"Oh, wine." We were dragging her to the car by this point, fat tears streaming down her face. We were snickering in the falling snow, proud as peacocks and not even a little embarrassed. Our kid really had our number. But Chicky was digging her feet in. How the hell could we leave without wine?

"No, hon. We're not getting any wine tonight."

"No wine?" she asked, incredulous. You silly people, she seemed to think, you live on this stuff. "Nooo! Need to get some wine!"

"Well, since Mama has a baby in her belly she can't drink wine."

Sniffling, she thought this over as Mr. C buckled her into her car seat.

She cast a longing glance through the window as we started to drive away.

"Nooo! Daddy can have wine! Daddy need wine!"

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

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Don't forget about the little contest going on over at the New England Mamas. And while you're there make sure you read some of the fabulous posts from our contributing writers. There are some really great ones up right now.

October ROFL Awards

¹fun·ny

Pronunciation:

\ˈfə-nē\

Function:

adjective

1 a: affording light mirth and laughter : amusing
b: seeking or intended to amuse : facetious


It's time for the October ROFL Awards! Or as a good friend suggested for this month - the Lying on Floor Vomiting, or LOFV, Awards.

Doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?

My nomination for this month is for a blogger whom I am so glad is participating in that crazy thing called NaBloPoMo. Or is it NoMoFoWayBro? Anyway, she's funny and I'm glad she's back to blogging regularly.

I nominate Halushki for her post Parent Hack. It could have been for anything she's posted lately but I had to narrow it down to one post. Sometimes this award thing sucks that way.

Congratulations to this month's nominees!


The Eleventh awarded Jurgen Nation

Coffee Shop Mafia awarded Almost Somewhat Positive

Oh, the Joys awarded Joy Unexpected

The New Girl awarded Motherhood Uncensored

All Rileyed Up awarded Alpha Dogma

T with Honey awarded The Mother Load

Moosh in Indy awarded Metalia

Them's My Sentiments awarded Lawyer Mama

Mother Bumper awarded Oh, the Joys

Momish awarded The Bloggess

Sarah and the Goon Squad awarded Lumpyhead

Cinnamon Girl awarded Mad Hatter


Don't forget to get your nomination in for November's ROFLs. Send them either to me at Chicky Chicky Baby 2 [at] Yahoo [dot] com or Metro Mama, my partner in crime and funnyness (shut up, it could be a word) at Metro_Mama [at] Hotmail [dot] com.


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One more bit of housekeeping - I've got a new review up about the book Beauty Confidential for the Parent Bloggers Network. I've got to have my makeup and beauty products, but did I like the book? Please check it out to find out.

September ROFL Awards

I'm pulling my head out of the toilet long enough to bring you, along with my esteemed partner in ha-ha Metro Mama, the September ROFL Awards.

Bring on the funny!

My nominee for this month was in no way influenced by my desire to start referring to myself in the third person. I don't think I could pull it off anyway. This month I'm nominating Bossy and her video love letter to the almighty Dooce. I used to love Dooce myself, now I big pink puffy heart Bossy. Fer chrissake.

Sorry, inside joke between me and Bossy. You understand, of course. We're like this. *crosses fingers*

Here's this month's winners! Go share the funny.



Mad Hatter awarded Julie Pippert

Sober Briquette awarded Ewe Are Here

Red Stapler awarded Kevin Charnas

Elizabeth awarded I am Bossy

Vodkarella and Ali Martell awarded Sarah and the Goon Squad

Redsy awarded Madeline Holler

Oh, The Joys awarded Where’s My Cape


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You can start getting your October ROFL nominations in immediately since it is, after all, October now. Send your nominations for funny posts that had you rolling on the floor to either Chicky Chicky Baby 2 [at] Yahoo [dot] com or Metro Mama [at] hotmail [dot] com. All nominees are announced the first Friday of every month.

Say it with me - Nominate a funny, save the world. Nominate a funny, save the world.

July/August ROFL Awards

Yes, Metro Mama and I postponed last month's ROFL Awards due to, to quote myself, personal "fucked uppedness".

Yes, they're now back.

Yes, laughter is good. Especially after fucked uppedness.

Yes, I have my own nomination. Yes, she's funny. Yes, she's one hot mama (for real, day-um). Yes, her post about the stinky cheese had me laughing my quickly expanding ass off.

Yes, I think Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil is one funny mother. She can tell a mean story.

Yes, I only wish that it were really possible to really laugh my ass off because then I wouldn't have to bother with squats.

Yes, I hate squats.

Yes, I'm done saying "yes".

Here's July and August ROFL nominees. Enjoy!


Sober Briquette awarded Julie Pippert


slackermommy awarded Wiping Up Snot


Oh, the Joys awarded Zen Proof


Cheezwhiz and Mustard awarded Queen of Shake Shake


Foggy City Mommy awarded Here in Idaho


One Plus Two awarded Where's My Cape


Oh, the Joys awarded Queen of Shake Shake


Playgroups are no place for children awarded It's like I'm Mmmagic


Rusti awarded Oh, the Joys


Cheaper than Therapy awarded Rockstar Mommy


Table 4 Five awarded I Am Bossy


Red Stapler awarded The I'mPerfect Mom

June ROFL Awards

Hello there. Metro Mama here. It’s my turn to water Chicky’s plants and feed the dogs. You didn’t think she’d take off and leave you without any laughs did you!

Here are the June ROFL awards. Enjoy!

Oh, The Joys awarded Mamma Loves

Julie Pippert awarded Arkie Mama

Salad Days Chronicles awarded My Mommy's Place

O Mama Mia awarded Filtering Life

Bub and Pie awarded Mimi on the Breach

Cheeze Whiz and Mustard awarded Here In Idaho

Ali Martell awarded i am bossy

Her Bad Mother awarded Gingajoy

Let's get nekkid

Chicky has a new habit. She likes to get naked ("I nekkid!").

It started soon after this incident so I think the natural toddler curiosity about her body phase coincided nicely with seeing me sleeping in the buff.

She likes to pull her pants down - which is easy to do now that it's shorts weather - and run around trying to choke herself with her own shirt by trying to get it off by herself, but she especially likes getting naked in exchange for attention.

For instance, at night when she doesn't want to go to bed she'll wait until I put her in her crib and leave the room and then she'll strip herself down to nothing more than what the good lord gave her and wait for one of us to come back to get her dressed.

(We have a video baby monitor. A blessing and a curse? Oh yeah. The damn kid has figured it out.)

I reenter the room, "Mommy, I nekkid!"

"Yes, I can see that." I pick her up and give her butt a squeeze, because wouldn't you? Then I get her dressed again, deliver her to her bed, and leave her with this admonishment:

"Hey, when you're in bed at least keep your pants on."

I didn't think I was going to have to say that to her until she was at least 16 years old.

Sure, now she learns how to speak

On Wednesday Mr. C and I took Chicky with us to a local liquor store. As we walked through the automatic door Chicky took one look at the impressive display of booze in front of her, drew in her breath and said,

"Oooh, Mommy's wine! Mommy's wine!!"

I don't know whether to be scared, embarrassed or proud.

And yes, that was a two word sentence she made. I don't think I'll share this story with EI.

May ROFL awards

I don't know what it was about May but I am in serious need for some funny and I hope you are too.

My nomination for a May ROFL Award needs to be read to be appreciated, because if I told you that the post was about a conversation between a Jug 'O Pee and a container of orange juice you'd probably want to check my medicine cabinet for opiates.

I'm nominating The New Girl's latest post What You Missed While You Were Sleeping (yes it's from two days ago and that, my friends, is procrastinating at its finest) for this month's ROFL Award. That lady is fuh-uh-uh-nee. And very pregnant. Go give her some love.

Here's the list of nominees for May's ROFL Awards. Please support your local blog humor and take a gander at some of these witty posts.

(As always, if you'd like to be added to the ROFL email list to get notifications and information about upcoming awards please email me at Chicky Chicky Baby 2 at yahoo dot com or my partner in slapstick Metro Mama at Metro Mama at hotmail dot com.)

Congratulations to this month's nominees!

Metro Mama awarded The Kids are Alright

Slouching Towards 40 awarded Where's My Cape

Mommy Off the Record awarded Mama Tulip

Marcia's Take Charge Blog awarded Ali la Loca

Oh, The Joys awarded I Am Bossy

Not So Sage awarded Under the Mad Hat

Polliwog's Pond awarded Absolutely Bananas

I Obsess and Under the Mad Hat awarded Mary Murtz

Mrs. Incredible awarded Kevin Charnas

Queen of Mayhem awarded Mom O Matic

Cheaper Than Therapy awarded Jonniker

A Child is Born awarded The New Girl

Fenicle awarded Oh, The Joys

April ROFL Awards

It's the first Friday of the month and you know what that means, right?

No, it's not trash day.

Well, it is in my neighborhood... But that's not the point.* It's time for the ROFL Awards!

(please, hold your applause until the end.)



My nomination for this month goes to a man after my own heart. A man who understands me, who gets me where I live. A man who knows that the R's at the end of some words are totally optional. I can respect that in a person, which is why I'm nominating Piglet of Fire and his post about Massachusetts slang - which was impressive in its amount of great Boston speak as well as in its length. Another trait I can admire in a man.

What?

Congratulations to Piglet of Fire and the rest of this month's nominees!



Crank Mama awarded Redneck Mommy

The Kids are Alright awarded Mama Tulip

Polliwog awarded Bobbarama

J.D.’s Daze awarded Ambulance Driver

Kyla awarded Mad Hatter

Bub and Pie awarded Write About Here

Ali Martell awarded Redneck Mommy



*I promise I will post a list of guidelines for the ROFLs and link to them from my sidebar really soon. Unfortunately, I seem to have caught the procrastination bug. I think I caught it back in 1981 but it's a pesky little bugger and I can't seem to shake it.

If you'd like to be included on the email list for the ROFLs please send an email to Chicky Chicky Baby 2 at Yahoo dot com. If you sent me an email already please resend it to the above address. I'm trying to get better organized so I'm carrying separate emails with the hope that I'll finally stop burying things. Not that you care, but I know people have sent me emails about the ROFLs and now I can't find them and it's really making me cranky. It's the ROFLs for chrissake. I should be laughing, not throwing a whiny hissy fit. I could do both but not only do I procrastinate but I also can't multi-task.

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And before I have to send out (another) belated birthday card I have to wish Mr. Big Dubya a happy, and hopefully not incontinent, 40th birthday.

I thought long and hard about what virtual present I would give to the big guy. A package of Depends? Nah, I'm sure he has plenty already. I hear he buys in bulk.

When I was watching House the other night I thought, "A walker! With painted flames!" Then I thought it might be too showy for the birthday boy. People might think he was trying to, uh, compensate for other areas. Then again, he does refer to himself as Mr. BIG Dubya.

Then I came across this. True, it's from the women's department but I hear the Big Dub has maintained his girlish figure quite well. He can bring his sexy back and show his support for the greatest team ever.
Happy Birthday, Mr. Big Dubya!

March ROFL Awards

It's time once again for the ROFL Awards.

Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday Metro Mama and I (with assistance from IzzyMom) took the ROFLs under our wings. Before you know it the ROFLs will be off to school, making new friends, sprouting hair in strange places and spending long hours in the bathroom with the door locked.

Sigh. Memories.

My nomination for this month is one of those spray-your-drink-all-over-the-place type of posts.

Literally.

Mad Hatter's "Real Moms" post was funny in the way that only real life can be: Messy and a bit disgusting for those not yet indoctrinated, but if you've been there you'll laugh your ass off. I loved it. And you will too. I hate to give more away so make sure you head over to Mad's place to check out all the milky goodness.

Congrats Mad Hatter!



This month's list of nominees:


Bub and Pie awarded World of One Thousand Different things


The Kids are Alright awarded Mama Tulip


Fenicle awarded Mostly True Stories


Sunshine Scribe awarded Mom 101


Child is Born awarded Suburban Turmoil


I Obsess awarded Sweatpants Mom


Motherhood Uncensored awarded The New Girl


Oh, The Joys awarded Dancing Through


Cheaper than Therapy awarded Oh, The Joys