Monday, June 04, 2007

Obsess much?

I recently spoke with Early Intervention to schedule that appointment for Chicky's I-don't-know-if-she's-speech-delayed, but-she-could-be-oh-my-scrod-she-could-be, but-she-might-not-be-and-I'll-look-like-a-schmuck, but-what-the-hell-it's-covered-by-insurance appointment. Did you know they send a team to your house evaluate your kid? A team?? As in more than one?? So it's not just one person who will think I'm a raving lunatic but I'll have a full audience of people to witness my psychotic break when they tell me my child is fine.

Oh, that's wonderful - hee hee! - I'm so sorry to make you come all the way out here - hee hee! - You were so good to take time out of your busy schedules of taking care of real kids with problems to indulge my panic attacks - hee hee!

No, no, I didn't mean problems - hee hee! - but issues. No! Not issues but very fixable delays - hee hee! - I'm sure only slight delays as all children are wonderful and perfect and no one is different and let's all join hands in a circle and sing "Kumbaya" and "He's got the whole world in His hands". He's got the itty bitty babies in His hands, oh the babies, yes the babies, the wonderful not at all differently-abled babies...

This breakdown will also occur if my child is, in fact, diagnosed with a speech delay, which honestly has not even occurred to me since I've been too busy obsessing over the disapproving looks I'm sure to get from the over-worked/under-paid people from EI.

And the great news is that I have another week and a half to obsess about this! Our appointment isn't until next Friday! Hurrah!

If you're looking for me I'll be curled in the fetal position under the covers, probably with a bottle of vodka and a blankie for comfort.

Not that I'm concerned for what might happen if Chicky is diagnosed with a speech delay. I'll handle it. We'll handle it. I'm more concerned about looking like a helicopter parent who hovers over every move her child makes, diagnoses every sniffle as cancer and makes all her child's meals from scratch with organic ingredients - which is so not true since I'm fairly certain that individually wrapped slice of American cheese-food I just fed her is in no way organic.

46 comments:

mayberry said...

I am sure they will be way happier to meet a concerned parent than an unconcerned one! But you can offer a few slices of american cheese just to cement the deal.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

You are not wasting their time.

I had EI come over too...Just in case. Turns out, luckily, they didn't see any issues...But they were oh, so friendly and nice and patient with me. They would rather see nothing than not be called at all...Trust me.

Cate said...

The EI people come to see us regularly, and they're not judgy at all. It's their job to check out your kid.

I can't really talk you down off the ledge, because you'll have to come down when you're ready, but the evaluation was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. The team was just two or three people, all very nice.

(I might be using the very same EI service provider you are. Feel free to e-mail me if there's anything specific. Or, hell, non-specific.)

Bunny said...

I have the fear of being a helicopter parent. I tend to try and micromanage the way my 3 year old behaves, always reminding him to use manners, how to behave with his friends, etc. You will do fine. It can't hurt to have professionals who know this stuff look at her and tell you how wonderful she is.

metro mama said...

Wow! I've decided to make that call too--it will be interesting to see how the approach is here.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Cate - Yes, off the ledge. Even with my fear of heights (literally and figuratively) it's easier to stay on the ledge than jump. I'd love to email you with some questions but I don't have your address. Or do I?

margalit said...

The EI team came to my house for three years and I'm the least helicoptery parent I know. It's their JOB to do housecalls. Lots of their clients don't drive, or can't get to their offices, so they come to your house where your kid is less likely to freak out. And the bring toys. LOTS of toys. For your kid to play with during their therapy.

Don't think that EI workers are vastly overworked or underpaid. One of my best friends has been working at EI for 14 years, since I introduced her to our EI team and they hired her. She doesn't need the money and she donates her salary back to the charitable end of EI. I know what she makes and it's not a teeny sum by any means. And they only work regular hours, most of the only part time. Honestly, you're not making them go out of their way at all. It's their JOB.

Crunchy Carpets said...

Speech delay!?
We can barely understand caity at almost 3.....but she talks up a storm....again most of it incomprehensible.

Now I have to worry about speech delays??

Noooooo.....

but go..get it all done and feel better.

I was doing the same with Adam...testing for ADD, for his eyesight and so on.

Life According To Tina said...

I've never heard of a helicopter parent before.

Louise said...

Think of it as learning about your monkey- and as a teacher and parent who has had all 3 of my kids evaluated at different times, the feedback when nothing has popped up that needed attending to was always: "it's great to see what normal looks like". So no helicoptering, you are just learning. Kids don't come with a manual, so good for you for consulting with the experts when you feel out of your depth.

Cate said...

Sorry, I'll email you.

Mamma said...

See by the third kid we just figured he'd speak up sooner or later.

All kidding aside, you have to go with your gut. But I'm an obsesser too. So I totally understand.

BOSSY said...

Bossy says look on the bright side: If she's diagnosed with a speech delay she can become a blogger like the rest of us.

FENICLE said...

I do the same thing with our child...worry, worry, worry. I think it's natural.

Izzy said...

We may be joining you and the EI crew if my guy doesn't start saying things besides animal sounds (meow, peep peep, woof woof, moooooo).

Our pediatrician isn't concerned yet but said that some kind of speech therapy may be warranted if things don't "improve" by 2 1/2.

I'm trying not to worry about it because wasn't it Einstein that didn't talk until he was like three?

Good luck and don't worry about EI. I'm sure they'd rather make a trip and find out it's nothing than not have people call at all.

:)

bubandpie said...

I don't think that a speech delay is really a diagnosis. It's more a matter of "qualifies for speech therapy" vs "doesn't qualify for speech therapy."

flutter said...

better to know, right?

Major Bedhead said...

I have a friend who's an EI person and that's what she does - goes to people's homes to evaluate their kids. The ones that I met when O was evaluated were super nice. I was much like you, thinking I was wasting their time, but they assured me I wasn't.

Lawyer Mama said...

Everyone I know who's had EI come to their home has ahd a positive experience. They're wonderful, informative, friendly, and they'll get Wonder Baby to do things just in the evaluation, that you didn't know she had in her. Best case, they'll just happily reassure you. Worst case, they steal your cheese while you're in the bathroom. And then happily reassure you. Whatever they're determination, you'll feel much better after you have some answers.

Lawyer Mama said...

Yeah and by "they're" I meant "their." It's been a long day.

Kyla said...

Oh, Mrs. Chicky, it will be okay. My little one has between 3 and 6 EI therapies on any given week. They are so very nice (at least our team is) and they have been so helpful with KayTar. She is a different child. She has pretty large delays and they've done wonders for her...so if Chicky is a bit behind speech-wise, I am sure they will be a great help to her. And if she doesn't need assistance, then you can rest assured in that fact. It is better to have her referred and hear that she doesn't need it, than to continue wondering. Either way, you guys will be just fine.

EE said...

I'm sure everything will be fine!
If chicky is delayed, at least you've started early!!!
My 7 year old is only recieving therapy for articulation now, and I'm postitive it's because we intervened so early!

Slackermommy said...

I love your sense of humor about it. Every child I know that had a speech delay was backtalking and whining as well as their peers by first grade. No worries girl, you're baby will be just fine. There are so many great services for this issue.

Jen Magnuson said...

I second Bossy! Get the kid blogging. They're probably going to be relieved to come to your house and not have to work so hard.

Lisa said...

Ah, I remember feeling this way a few years ago too. And don't worry. From what people in this field have told me, they'd much rather talk to someone who's voicing concerns and seems proactive than to the parents who are in complete denial or don't care.

CG said...

I wouldn't obsess. It is the job of the EI team to all evaluate the child and make recommendations. It is best to evaluate them early then to wait.
Trust your gut that you are doing the best for your child.

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Fast forward to one month from now and I will be in the exact same situation...
Please keep us (me!) posted.

Mary G said...

The descriptive 'helicopter mom' is so perfect! Love it. Been there, whirling away.
Good idea to get an early assessment, whether she needs a bit of a boost or not. Good mothering, I think.

Her Bad Mother said...

What Bossy said. Also, will you have your laptop with you under that blankie? Cuz drunk-assed anxiety-blogging can be FUN.

jen said...

it's the humor that will carry you, friend. (that, and all the organic perfect food you will suddenly begin cooking as part of your negotiations with god)

been there, too, but with much less humor.

she's a lucky girl.

Binky said...

I think I must be more of a submarine parent. Even if my daughter only had a one word vocabulary, I'd chalk it up as being within the ridiculously wide spectrum of normal and go on with my snorkeling.

Maybe there's a happy medium at ground level :)

Redneck Mommy said...

Your cheeks get all flushed when you get anxiety-riddled. It's kinda sexy...

Wink, wink.

Have no fear. At least until they finish the damn assessment. Then you can fear all you want.

And Chicky, I've BEEN through this. I know EXACTLY how you feel (or thereabouts.) If you have any questions or concerns you need to vent over, you know how to find me.

I promise, I won't even talk dirty unless, of course, you want me to.

mamatulip said...

Personally, I think it's better to be a concerned parent than one who is...um...nonchalant about issues such as this.

Chin up, and don't lose your sense of humour. I'd miss it too much. ;)

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

We just went for our first appointment to have Ian tested for speech problems too.

moosh in indy. said...

Chicky's probably going to spout the sililoquy from Hamlet as soon as those fools get there, that'll show 'em.

Jennifer Playgroupie said...

I have to comment, I'm a speech-pathologist!

EI people are usually great, caring people, not judgy at all!

Better to have the eval in the event Chicky needs some speech therapy...the earlier the better!

Good luck with the evaluation. Keep us posted!

sara - The Estrogen Files said...

You're gonna be fine and so is she. Einstein and Edison didn't talk until age 3. ChickyBaby will speak when ready. Hang in there.

kgirl said...

Don't worry about placating them - they are there to placate you.

Bon said...

dude, you rock.

your neurosis makes me feel better.

i humbly thank you, and commiserate. i too would rather deal with the bad but real problem than appear to be a helicopter parent imagining my child's hangnail is a disability.

sigh. good luck getting through the next week. :)

Mommy off the Record said...

I am an obsessor too, but I say it's better to check it out just in case. It will probably be fine, but if you didn't have her looked at, you'd probably be obsessing more about it anyway. Good luck with the appointment and don't let anyone tell you you are being overly worried. There is no such thing when you are a mom - that is your job!

Oh, The Joys said...

Breathe in, breathe out. Let them come.

xo,
You zen master of joy.

Ruth Dynamite said...

You're doing the right thing, the prudent thing (like the Church Lady). Friday will be here before you know it and little Chicky will be charming the crowd. It'll be OK.

wayabetty said...

I was in your shoes when my middle son was about 2.5 y/o and a friend of the family made a comment that "he's almost 3 and can't make a sentence yet?!" I was miffed, confused but then got a whole team of EI involved and it was a blessing.

He's now in the public Pre-School in our town and he's a chatter box. So, good luck to you, it's harder on us parents than the kids.

a happier girl said...

It's better to be safe than sorry and no one knows that better than professionals. Don't worry about looking stupid or crazy.

ewe are here said...

You won't be wasting their time... you're doing what you think is right and they will respect that. If there's nothing wrong, they'll go on their way. If there happens to be a speech issue, addressing it early is the best thing you can do to resolve the problem.

You're pbviously a great mom.

Nancy said...

I hope the EI appointment goes well. We had a follow-up for Rosie today -- they confirmed the speech delay and recommended continued therapy, so we'll be entering the world of county-provided services. I still haven't gotten courageous enough to post about it (just because I know it will make me emotional), but hopefully our experiences might give you a little idea of what to expect with Chicky.