Since we're in that weird limbo between Christmas and New Year's I've had lots of time to catch up on my sleep sit on my ass think about all that transpired on Christmas Day.
Besides all the gift giving and food eating something else pretty big happened. My Dad got engaged to his lady friend, the woman who he's been living with for some time now. Only nobody thought it was important to actually tell us about it.
After we arrived at my Nana's house on Christmas Day the usual greetings and pleasantries were exchanged, and my Dad's lady friend (I refuse to call her "girlfriend", though my Dad may act like a juvenile it's been a long time since either of them were children and could be referred to as "girl" or "boy") showed us her Christmas present - a gold band with three equally sized small diamonds in it. I do remember noting that she wore it on the third finger of her left hand but there was little about it that screamed "He proposed!" and she didn't offer any information, so I said "It's beautiful" and left it at that.
My sister did the same.
Mr. C did the same.
None of us wanted to assume anything so nothing more was said. Until later in the day when I heard her mentioning something to my father-in-law about my Dad asking her to marry him the night before.
Wha'? Marriage? HELLO. Offspring of the groom-to-be over here.
That's right, my Dad never thought it was important to mention to his daughters that he had gotten engaged or that he was considering getting engaged. We were supposed to figure it out for ourselves. My Dad, he puts the "ass" in "classy".
I will admit that I never thought they'd get married. I thought they'd be one of those couples that just stayed together for years and years, living together and enjoying each other's company.
However, I would have been perfectly fine with my Dad buying the ring on the sly and then proposing, without consulting my sister or me beforehand -
Though, if he would have told us before hand I could have helped him find a much better ring. Heh -
But to stay silent about it and let the information come out like it did? That kind of hurt.
I don't expect this wedding will happen anytime soon so I've got lots of time to lick my wounds. And really they're more like annoying scratches that itch while they heal. I'll get over it. If Dad's not going to act as if it's very important then neither will I. So there.
I obviously got all my maturity from him.
Monday, December 31, 2007
I hope they don't expect me to throw them a party
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24 comments:
Wow. Gee thanks dad! I'd be ticked too.
That's just kind of weird. If they are so happy about it, why the secret? I would think they would be very excited to tell people the good news. Maybe they thought you wouldn't notice when you were invited to a formal party with a wedding cake as the main course
Nice... I feel your sentiments. This one sure does top my Hubby's family antics. I agree with you in that you should just rise above the situation and if he's not making a big deal of it, then maybe it's not a big deal. Love how you said he puts the ass in classy.
Happy New Year!
Good grief. I'm sorry about that. He should have talked to you guys in advance. Well you know all the should have dones. Doesn't take away the sting. Hang in there.
Julie
Using My Words
Your dad and my dad should get together and exchange tactics. They're clearly on the same wavelength. If all of a sudden he's getting married in the next 3 months we'll know they belong to the same club. Sorry you had to assy class for Christmas.
Ouch. Yup, that's my exact thoughts.
If my father-in-law ever marries his "special friend" (his words, not mine) we will find out at the freakin' ceremony. He pulls stuff like this all the time - but can't wait to tell us the boring, unimportant crap that we couldn't care less about. Like, he was going to sell my husband's childhood home? We overheard him telling someone at a dinner party. But he saw a weird bird in the yard? Ten minute dissertation. I hear you. And I hope your father and his lady friend are very happy, although he does indeed put the ass in classy.
My dad did something equally weird: called all his kids and his lady friend's kids together for a weekend camping trip, then "made a toast" in which he went on and on about how much he loved her, then presented her with a ring (his grandchildren were fighting tears at this point), and proceeded to tell us that they're NOT getting married. (Finances, logitics...)
But still, I love his new lady and love the way he loves her.
Carol
That is really, really strange.
I'm obviously just as mature as you though, because I'd react the same way. Ring? What ring? Getting married? HUH?
Ouch.
Very odd.
I'd have probably reacted the same way...
well... YAY for your dad an' all, but sheesh - would it have killed for a little head's up? or hell - even a MENTION of it? I'd be feeling just like you are if I was in your situation... sorry for the hurt :( And heck - maturity, who needs it?
Oh, man.
You and I have to meet and talk for realz.
No proposals from my dad but lots of crazy crap that is strange and makes me feel like things are a little loopy out his way.
I'm sorry that it happened that way. It is a hard and sucky situation.
I did, though, really laugh out loud at putting the 'ass' in 'classy.' Somehow, I managed to live to adulthood without EVER hearing that before! lmao.
Maybe he didn't want to make a big deal out of it or feared the family's reaction? Could it be an accidental proposal?
My mom's been engaged since 1999.
He should have told you and you have every right to be pissed off.
But he may have not known how to tell you. Maybe he just couldn't figure out how? WHo knows, but men can be weird like that.
Anyway, you still can be upset. I surly would be.
Here is a good payback: have your next baby and don't call him. Just wait until they come by one day; you could answer the door holding the baby, like nothing has happened.
I put the "dic(k)" in vindictive.
Well...I kind of get it. He must feel horribly guilty on some level, like he's letting you and your sis down, and especially your mom by moving on. He's just trying to spare your feelings and probably his own, too.
I hope you find some way to give him the thumbs up. Her presence won't dull the bright spot that is your mom, but this gal pal might make him happy.
(Listen to me, all Dr. Phil like. My apologies.)
It's weird, isn't it, how things like that with our parents really affect us, no matter how "grownup" we may be? No matter how much we expect them to happen at some point or are in theory okay with it? it still twists a little. I couldn't believe how upset I was when my parents finally divorced, even though it was all expected and for the best and yadda yadda. Still, it was a blow. Sorry you had to find out in such a crummy way. can you talk to him about it?
My dad did my brother and I the same way.
He told me before dinner, but waited until the middle of a big family dinner to tell my brother. I had to kick my brother under the table, slap his jaw back up to his cheeks and whisper, "SAY CONGRATULATIONS!!"
My brother choked out a congratulations, everyone got obscenly drunk (except K and I) and the whole thing spiraled downward from there.
The joy.
I can revert amazingly quick when my own dad pulls his garbage.
Still sucks though.
Damn dads, grow up already.
Oh Mrs. Chicky, I would be angry and hurt too. My initial thought when reading your post is that an engagement is a joyous occasion. Why would you keep something joyous to yourself or treat it as something mundane? I'm sure you would have picked out a much better ring!
Awww sweetie. We can lick our wounds together. My father finally proposed to his "lady friend" last year after 25 years (!!) together of off-and-on living together (and they, too, won't be getting married anytime soon I don't believe). While he actually remembered to tell me they were engaged, I have countless stories where he has forgotten to mention to pass along some information (um, first cousin needing a transplant? Check!)
And I won't offer up apologies or excused on behalf of the dad. Seriously. They are grown ups - get with it already.
I like Fairly Odd Mother's suggestion.
What is it with dads? They do some weird shit and just expect their kids to take it. Bizarre.
My dad got remarried last July and my mom just got hitched on Christmas Eve... while I really like they're new spouses, I have to tell you... there is nothing fucking weirder than being at your parents wedding.
hey, just be glad you found out before the actual wedding. i was 15, and he told me a month AFTER the fact.
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