Thursday, November 30, 2006

Hold on to your ovaries

'Tis that time of year again. Tinsel, trees and ho ho ho's.

(And if you think I'm referring to any Ho in particular you should be ashamed of yourself, it's the Christmas season for crissake. Have some dignity.)

Bows and mistletoe and presents for pretty girls. Fat, jolly men in red suits with screaming children wetting themselves on Santa's lap. Sugar cookies and Christmas cards...

Christmas cards?!

Fuuuuuuuu-uuuuuuuuuck.

This time last year I was so ahead of the game. I had Chicky's portrait professionally done and made into cards that were pre-signed so I wouldn't get writer's cramp writing out "Happy Holidays! Love, the Chickys".

Uh, shut up about the Happy Holidays crap. Yes, I put that on my cards, just so my Jewish friends wouldn't bust my balls about the Christmas wishes. So sue me for wanting to include everyone in the holiday love.

Anyhoo.

This is our second Christmas with the Toddler Tornado and I've become a bit - what's the word? Lax? Nah. Lazy? Yeah, that's it. Lazy, and I haven't ordered cards or, hell, I hadn't even thought about cards. And? I love Christmas cards. I love sending them and I really love receiving them. It becomes my obsession from December 1st until the 24th; stalking the mailbox, weeding through the bills and the major holiday push catalogues, throwing SuperSaver fliers in the snowbankings desperately looking for sparkly snow flakes and plump-cheeked newborn pictures. I rip the envelopes open before even hitting the front door and read the sweet, often-times canned sentiments inside.

"Best wishes for a warm holiday season"

"Here's to you and your's"

"A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year"

"Happy Holidays from your US Postal Carrier - Don't forget to shovel out your mailbox or I'll throw your mail in a sleet puddle."

So today Mr. C and I took Chicky outside (70 degrees today. Yeah, it's beginning to look not one little freakin' bit like Christmas) and snapped some pictures for this year's card. Let me know what you think.


The dimple slays me.



This one might be the keeper.



No, wait. This one. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. I made that.



We took almost 200 pictures and even though there were a lot of throw away shots there were enough good ones to make the choice very difficult. But I think we may have narrowed it down. I think this one should be 2006's holiday card from the Chicky family:



Yep, that pretty much sums up 2006. Can you imagine finding that in your mailbox, between the electric bill and the Pottery Barn catalogue? Yeah, me too.

-----------------------------------------

Before I forget, today is Mr. C's birthday. My sweet, handsome man was born on this day 34 years ago. How could I not wish the man who helped me create that beautiful, screaming creature a Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday?

Happy Birthday, my love.

58 comments:

Major Bedhead said...

I love that second one. It's amazing. Although #4 sure would be a surprise! Save it for her 16th birthday invitations.

I'm very sorry to hear about your grandfather. I'm bad at knowing what to say when someone dies, but you're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh....she is so freaking cute! I absolutely love the second and third one!

Amy said...

That dimple!

And I actually snorted when I saw the last one.

Erin said...

There is no doubt that it MUST be #3 - I swear you should send that to every modeling agency in the world... she is JUST THAT ADORABLE!!

Anonymous said...

personally, i love the last.

you should caption it, "i saw mommy kissing santa clause."

Lara said...

oh my goodness, she is sooooo beautiful! what a gorgeous girl you have there, mrs. chicky. :)

also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR. C! (not that i know you, but birthday wishes are always fun, right?)

Anonymous said...

"Toddler Tornado" is awesome. The verbage, not so much the tornado-part, I mean. : ) And that last shot is priceless. (Oh, and: Happy! birthday to your hubs.) : )

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Mr. C!!!

I like the last picture myself...nothing like a crying toddler to set you year off right.

Our cards say "Smiles all year through, love the Stinkfoots" Good, right?

Anonymous said...

I almost peed myself laughing at the last picture. I think I need to do some more kegels.
Thanks for giving me a reason to laugh this morning!
Would it be shameless to do a collage of ALL of the pictures for your Christmas card ;)?

Mamacita Tina said...

I just couldn't help but laugh at that last photo. Oh my gosh! During our sad little photo shoots, I usually get both crying about two minutes into it.

THE. CHRISTMAS. CARD. I need to get on that one, otherwise it will show up after Christmas.

Anonymous said...

You could definitely send one of those cards to our house and be safe. See, we make fun of the people on those Christmas cards - we're ruthless. We even make fun of the kids. But Chicky is safe, too cute to be laughed at. Unless you send the last one, then we'd really be laughing with you.

Christina said...

Ugh, I'm so behind this year, too. We have no picture ready at all for the cards.

But I love the first picture. It's just way too cute.

And I agree with others - save that last one for her 16th birthday party or graduation party.

Mama of 2 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. C!

I loved the pictures of Chicky Baby. They are adorable. I actually sent out our family phot cards 2 days ago and rather proud of myself for being ahead of the game....at least for once.

Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas to you and your family Mrs. Chicky

Avalon said...

Happy Birthday Mr. C~~~ you young, handsome, PATIENT man! ( and no, I have never met him, I'm just assuming)

Mrs. C~~~ If you took almost 200 shots, I say, send them all out! To everyone. I mean, how much could stamps cost?

If not, my personal fav is #1.

PunditMom said...

Those pics are GREAT! How to choose? Why not make a montage and include them all (except the last one!) Of course, there's LOADS of time to be crafty before 12/25!

Redneck Mommy said...

I'd go with the last one, but I tend to be warped and twisted that way.

If not, my vote is for any of the other 3. She's just so damn cute.

(I know, very helpful and decisive. But I am a Canadian, eh. We tend to be wishy-washy by nature.)

And happy birthday Mr. C.

Because after learning how incredibly hairy your wife is, dude, it's a freaking miracle your child doesn't resemble a monkey.

Kudo's to you crawling into bed with her every night!!

Monkey Butt's Mom said...

I love that crying picture! It is so fabulous. A definite keeper.

Unknown said...

The last one. Oh PLEASE use the last one. It's hilarious and so perfect after recieving gobs of perfect families in perfect outfits with perfect smile. And send one to me! I love it.

motherbumper said...

Ummmm those pictures are so darn cute that there are going to be exploding heads regardless of which one you select. I'm serious, if I got that in the mail I'd melt. But the last one seems to sum up our year too.

Binky said...

I love the last one! That's what I describe as my daugher's "square pout." It's twisted of me to say this, but I wonder if there's anything cuter than that pout? :)

Anonymous said...

You joke but one year we did use a screaming, crying photo of my son on our christmas card. it said, "'Ben' a little naughty this year?" (his name is Ben) and then on the inside it said something about the power of still making holiday dreams come true despite the naughty list. It was a bit "catchier" than that but it was about 5 years ago and my memory barely extends past 5 minutes ago. Absent a goofy message like the one we did, my favorite is the one that says "oh, wait. this one." the close up. it's amazing!

Anonymous said...

I like the idea of a photo collage - the many faces of Chicky! Kind of helps people understand what your year has been like, right?

Kate said...

Thanks for always giving me my "laugh of the day" - the crying pic is priceless! You should use that as your headline for -- "Why I Don't Have Anymore Children" -- referring to this week's blog talk radio debate.

Bea said...

Oh, she is just too much. Supremely cute.

And I really really like the first shot - subtle but so compelling. (Do I sound like I'm at a wine-tasting?)

Blog Antagonist said...

Oh the last one, definitely! If I got that card in the mail, it would really bring a smile to my face. I have a quirky sense of humor though.

Good gravy she is cute.

You just gave me a great idea. I think I will snap a casual shot of my boys this year as well. After 12 years, the studio thing is a little timeworn.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Mr. Chicky!!

And the last one. Everybody sends pics of their kids being all angelic, like that's how they behave year round. If I got a card with a tantrum-in-progress shot, the sender would be my new BFF.

Seriously, do it. That picture rocks, and everyone already knows what a doll Chicky Baby is.

The Domesticator said...

I think sending the last one would be great fun. It would remind some of us that everyone can have a bad day. Besides, it is hilarious!

The Domesticator said...

Oh, and Happy Birthday to the hubby!

Her Bad Mother said...

The second one, gah, the sweetness, it overwhelms. But then again, I'm also drawn to The Scream.

And? Happy (belated) Birthday to your hunk o' man!

Anonymous said...

Too cute for words. Love that last one as well. :)

Radioactive Tori said...

I love the photos! I just got off my butt to do something about our holiday cards too. Usually we are done and ready to send them out by now!

Also? We just had several feet of snow that I had to shovel, so I'm pretty jealous of your warm weather!

SJINCO said...

OH man, to die for. What a cutie! I loved them all, even the last one.

Happy Birthday Mr. C!

Girlplustwo said...

it's either the first, or the third. the third is rather perfect.

happy birthday Chick Family.

ewe are here said...

Dimples! Lovely girl! I love these pics!

I love Christmas cards as well. I've got the cards and the stamps. Just need a pic and something to write in the cards. I'll be doing my boy's photo shoot this weekend and taking tons of pics no doubt. He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to be a snowman. hee hee

Bobita said...

I literally BURST out laughing at the last photo!! I soooooo know that look, that kind of cry!

I say send that one! (You can send one of the ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE ones, too!)

Cristina said...

OMG, that second to the last picture is the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

But you just must use the tantrum pic for the card. I insist on it because that is just priceless! LOL

beth said...

Personally I think you should juxtapose one of the first 3 with the last.

Those are SO GREAT. All of them. But I think I like the 3rd best. I'm feeling inspired to go ahead and work on our own Christmas card project. Too bad Sam has an odd bruise thing right under his eye.

Anonymous said...

she is absolutely ADORABLE!!
those are fantastic pictures ...every single one :)

Damselfly said...

Oh, all three are precious! Is there some way you could put all three images together in one photo or card? How cute....

Anonymous said...

So cute. I dare you to use the crying photo. What a hoot!

Staci said...

I feel the same way about the Christmas card thing!!

She is beautiful!!!

Anonymous said...

Your girl is ADORABLE. Even in the last picture. In fact, I'd love getting that one in my mailbox. :-)

Happy belated to Mr. Chicky!

Kevin Charnas said...

HHHAAA!!! Oh my...where to I begin?
1. I feel the exact same way about "Happy Holidays" - sue me for wanting to include everybody. - couldn't have said it better myself.

2. I'm in love with your daughter. She's gorgeous! Can you guys make us one...or two? Thanks.

3. That last pic made me BURST out laughing! Poor, little sweety. And yes, I DEFINITELY think that should be the card.

And 4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your man, I hope that it was grand.

Sandra said...

Fabulous photos. Shit christmas cards?!? I am off to the store to get mine. How did I forget this?!?!

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday Mr. C. (Mine was yesterday and I turned 34 too!)

LOVE those shots of Chicky baby. I think the snapshots make the best holiday photo cards (Yes, I said holiday too. We have Jewish friends too.). Just go to Walgreen's and you can have a boatload of pics ready in like an hour!

karengreeners said...

for the love of pete, she is so freakin cute.

i would use the last one, with a caption like, 'it's beginning to look a lot like nap time' or 'she just found out she's not getting that pony' or something like that, but um, i don't even celebrate christmas, so maybe don't listen to me.

happy birthday to the mister!

MrsFortune said...

Ohgodohgod, thanks for the hold on to your ovaries warning, you're a real friend.

Maybe it's a first year mom thing because all of our cards are ordered (They say "may all your dreams come true in the new year" on the inside, talk about not offending any religion!). E-mail me your address and you'll get a beauty from me. :-)Assuming your mail carrier doesn't toss it in the snow.

Nichole said...

Happy birthday, Mr. C!

And, though I may have decided how my cards shall look, I haven't quite gotten to the print, stamp, send parts yet.

Shame on me?

Lawyer Mama said...

The last one! The last one! If I got that in the mail I would pee myself laughing. LOVE IT!

(I put Happy Holidays on my cards too.)

Anonymous said...

Oh please use the last picture! It's just too funny (not to minimize her pain, obviously it was a hard moment for her...)

You could put something like- "Holidays stressing you out?" Then put the picture of her crying, then when you open the card it can have that cute first picture of her with the dimples and it can say something like, "Don't worry, New Year's Eve will be here in a flash, CHEERS!!! This is (of course) where you would insert cute drawings of martini or champagne glasses.

...and probably all 50 commenters said this already, but there's no way I'm reading them all to find out: Your daughter is absolutely beautiful.

Krista

carrie said...

Don't you just love the photo sessions, trying to get the perfect shot?? I love the 3rd one and like someone above said, I chuckled when I saw the last. You should definitely save it for blackmail purposes later!

Happy Holidays!

Carrie

Anonymous said...

Number three, for shizzle. But number four is tempting...

Ruth Dynamite said...

These are precious and adorable and hilarious. I love them all, but for your card: survey says #3.

Anonymous said...

Gotta say #1.

Scribbit said...

That number 3 is my favorite, but they're all good shots. The pink is good on her.

ms blue said...

The cuteness completely slays me.

Happy belated wishes to Mr. C.

petite gourmand said...

I love all these pics.
that chicky sure is a cutie.

L said...

Wow! That is one gorgeous little girl. I just can't decide. I liked them all.