Friday, March 31, 2006

What Not to Wear... but you wear it anyway.

I am a faithful viewer of TLC's "What Not to Wear". There's something very Cinderella-like about the transformation each fashion victim goes through that keeps me watching. Like catepillar to butterfly, these people enter the dreaded 360 degree mirror room with Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, subject themselves to the host's sometimes crass comments about their clothes, then take their $5000 and shop for a whole new wardrobe and emerge at the end a whole new person. A casual viewer might see this as an indulgent shopping spree. I don't see it that way. I see it as a healthier alternative to plastic surgery or expensive visits to your psychiatrist. Who needs therapy when you can buy $200 slingbacks and a coordinating purse?

While watching the beginning of each new episode I beg the Hubby to nominate me for this show . I'm a perfect candidate: A New Mom with a stockpile of t-shirts, jeans, and sneakers and the fashion sense of a three year old. But once we get to the part when Stacy and Clinton start throwing away each hapless participant's hard-earned (though, poorly thought out) clothing choices I start to break out in a cold sweat. If WNTW's minions were to come to my home they would find my huge collection of Life Is Good t-shirts (which I only wear to work - Really!), my piles of jeans (most of which don't fit me anymore), and my stack of baseball caps that I wear on a far-too-regular basis. Sure I have a few gems in my closet, but I also have a handful of cashmere sweaters, a few pairs of really cute heels, and other well-chosen items that I don't get the opportunity to wear too often.

Why? Because I'm a Mom. And I wear clothes for style and for comfort.

*Gasp!*

Now, before I'm misunderstood, I'm not hiding behind my baby. I know I deserve to wear beautiful things and I do when the occasion warrants. Its just damn hard to run after a fast-moving crawler who is about to scale a bookcase while you're wearing kitten heels. Bangle bracelets would become toys to soothe the angry beast when a naptime is missed. Cashmere would immediately have strained peas flung across the chest. And dressing in fashionable layers becomes ridiculous when you have to nurse in a hurry. Not to mention the fact that when you have barely a half an hour to yourself to shower and get ready you don't want to spend it matching your belt to your shoes.

Just show me what's clean and what fits and there's a good chance I'll wear it. Even if it is so 2004.

Some of the outfits that Stacy and Clinton come up with for their fashionably challenged charges are just too impractical for the average mother with a young child. Sure it looks great, but how many of those women actually wear the crocodile pumps with the flow-y skirt, camisole and shrug to the supermarket? I'm thinking, um, not too many. But we want to believe, don't we? We want to think there are women out there that wear these outfits on a regular basis. We want to think that it is, in fact, that easy. And that belief is what puts pressure on women like me.

When Chicky Baby was around 5 months old I started attending a New Mothers Group and, starting then, at least once a week I put on the clothes in my closet that I was dying to wear but had no other reason to. For a few weeks I showed up in clean, somewhat pressed clothing, comfortable but stylish flats, and I actually took time to blow-dry my hair. At the time I had no idea who I was trying to impress. It didn't take me too long, however, to figure out that I wasn't trying to impress anyone with how hip and cool I was... I was trying to fool everyone into thinking that I had it all together. I wanted those other women to think that I could not only take care of an infant, but that I did it with ease. They didn't need to know that I was piling on the under-eye cream and the concealer to hide the dark circles and that, on most days, I never got out of my pajamas. I didn't want anyone to know how hard I was finding this new role as Mama. As time went on it became painfully apparent that we were all doing the same thing. The more we talked each week about our struggles with our babies, the less we dressed up for each other. There were those few women who held on to their designer duds, but most were happy enough to say to the world "Yeah, I might be wearing a hoodie with baby spit-up on it, but my diaper back is tres chic and my kid is in clean clothes and that's enough for me."

I'm not going to give up on looking good. I genuinely want to look beautiful for the Hubby and someday, when she's older, for Chicky Baby. Very little would make me happier about myself than my daughter describing me as a "cool Mom". But if I'm not hip all the time, we'll all have to get over it. I don't plan on ever becoming the mom in the applique sweatshirt, but I'm not going to be the mom who wears cute, summery dresses to the soccer field.

If you are one of those women who can go to Target and throw together an outfit that makes you look like you just stepped out of the pages of Vogue - I applaud you. I really, really do. I'm very jealous. For some women it is that easy. But for the other ones (and you know who you are) I'm not buying it for a second. I know you have some skeletons, or sweatpants, in you closet.

56 comments:

reluctant housewife said...

Gah! You've found me out. I have 4 pairs of sweatpants in my closet. I tell myself it's not so bad because they're yoga pants.

Who am I kidding. I'm a slob.

Chase said...

It is wrong that I don't have kids or a hectic schedule and I'm STILL a slob?? Right now I'm wearing jeans that are too big for me, the tshirt I slept in, and a baseball cap. And I'm not changing when I leave the house, either. *gulp*

Aunt Chicky Baby said...

Darling, you don't think that I'm not already planning for your audition tape? I'm just waiting for the right time when the little one will let you be away from her for more than 3 hours. Every Friday night when I catch "What Not To Wear," I find myself plotting your hidden footage....

rhonda said...

When I am going to work I get all dressed up, but as soon as I get home, it's sweatpants and hubz tshirt for me. I would love to be all made up and dressed up all the time, but the energy just isn't there :(

MrsFortune said...

Dang, I would KILL to be on WNTW, I watch it religiously ... And they do have new moms on all the time and they do pick out ridiculous grocery shopping outfits. ESPECIALLY the shoes. But still, I'd kill to have $5,000 to spend on clothes in NYC!

sunshine scribe said...

I have full on fantasies about being nominated for that show. They are mean and it is so superficial and who couldn't look good with some cash to spend on just them .. but I can't help but love it.

Kristen said...

I love that show. But yes, I think their leather jacket and jeans with flat pointytoe shoes for the grocery store is laughable. HOWEVER, if I owned $5000 of awesome clothes that fit me and made me look fabulous, I might consider wearing them.

EmilyRoseJewel said...

I am also an avid fan of What not to Wear, but unfortunately hubby isn't so I compromise and don't watch it too much. I agree that a lot of the outfits are impractical. How funny that you talked about your mom group and dressing up, I do the same thing, actually I still do because before having Justice I worked as a social worker and had office type clothing. Now it just sits in my closet, so when I do go out I might as well get some use out of it. I do though just feel better at least a couple times a week fixing myself up a little, hubby likes it too. Good post!

SUEB0B said...

That Stacy is such an unholy bitch. There's a Lithuanian expression "Snookus pletya prauschau" - a face that's begging for a brick. She's got one. I have seen the British version and it is so sweet and funny and gentle, comparatively.

I don't mind watching the people go through their drama and spend a lot of money, but if I ever see Stacy on the street, I am going to give her a piece of my mind.

Bridgermama said...

I still can't fit into my trendy, fun clothes. They sit lonely on my shelf, or hang pathetically on their hangers. The closest I come to wearing them,at this point, is a weekly fondle. I do, I feel them up. Dreaming of a day when they will, once again, grace my body with their presence. I know the funky girl is still in there somewhere beneath the sweatsuit wearin' slouch.

Mega Mom said...

Usually I don't care. Sporty is the best way to describe my style. But there are those rare occasions that I try a bit harder. Sometimes I do ok, but more often than not, I miss the mark.

My trick is to stand next to someone who is "Schleppier" than I am :)

something blue said...

It's funny but I picture you wearing trendy clothes and looking great!

My mom always threatens to nominate me for TLC's Clean Sweep. I'm so happy that they don't come to Canada to shoot because then I'd be exposed as the badly dressed, poor housekeeper. Double whammy.

mo-wo said...

WHACK -- here goes a bit stamp for Mrs. Chicky in your passport.

Thank you for visiting Sweatpant Nation.
Signed, Offical Ambassador for Canada to Sweatpant Nation

Mrs. Chicky said...

RH - "Yoga pants" are okay... aren't they?! But they look so cute with flip flops.

Chase - You have many "kids" in your house. Caring for all of those dogs makes you a Mom in my book so, therefore, you are allowed to look like a slob.

Rhonda - Yeah, the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Maybe the spirit is weak too. Love the Hubby's t-shirts.

Mrs. Fortune, SS, Kristen - Who wouldn't wear leopard heels with a velvet jacket to the market if someone threw $5000 at them to spend on clothes!

Emily Rose - Thanks!

Sue - Okay, I guess we'll know who to call when Stacy has a horrible "accident". LOL

BridgerMama - I laughed out loud at the idea of someone fondling their clothes! Not that I would ever do that myself.

MegaMom - That's the trick! Stand next to someone who looks worse than you!

MoWo - Its been a pleasure visiting your fine land. I don't think I'm leaving anytime soon, though.

Something Blue - Have I told you that I love you? At least I had one person fooled!

sweatpantsmom said...

My nine year old daughter has become a rabid What Not To Wear fan.

The other day she saw me taking an old T-shirt out of my drawer and said,"Stacy would throw that away."

Geez, everyone's a critic.

Bobita said...

Oh, Chicky...my sentiments exactly!

Loved this post!

Mocha said...

Oh, gosh. I would comment on that post but I'm all trying to remember where I came from (maybe it was somethingbabyblue?) and have been remembering to say that your flickr link takes you to a place called flick.com. Without the R.

Guess I could comment on your lovely design and stuff. Pretty!

owlhaven said...

Great bag!

Mary, mom to many

Mrs. Chicky said...

Owlhaven - Faaan-tastic bag! Wish I owned one, but I wasn't willing to sell one of my animals for scientific testing to afford it.

IzzyMom said...

I'm a big fan of the ubiquitous stretchy Target v-neck t-shirt. Not exactly haute couture but I never go anywhere worth a crap anyway. WNTW would have a field day with me...lol

poopydigs said...

I'm afraid my daughter is better dressed than I am on most occasions.

I keep putting off buying "nice" clothes, until I get rid of all teh baby weight. Unfortunately, at the rate I'm going, my daughter will be in college by the time mommy gets that new outfit from bloomies.

Mama C-ta said...

I am pretty good at making sloppy look decent...but most days like today I just look plain old sloppy. I just busted out some of my favorite summer clothes which are mainly skirts and I'm wondering since this is the first summer I'm not few weeks post-partum will I actually wear any of this or still stay in the same pair of jeans day after day?

Patty Spradling said...

I thought since you were a fan of the show you might know the name of someone they made over so I can find a picture online because I want her haircut. The episode was on last weekend I think. A brother told them about his sister who wanted to be in the hair/make-up business but with bad and weird jeans she needed help. Do you know the show?
Thanks
Patty
myhomedaycare@cox.net

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