Monday, February 27, 2006

Day 6 - The End

This is the last post that I'm going to write about my Mom's passing. Two years ago today she stopped fighting the horrible disease that had taken over her body and her life - Colon Cancer - and though I don't know where she went because I'm not sure if I believe in an afterlife or heaven, I'd like to think she went to a better place where the sun was always shining, it's always warm, and there's always good music to dance to. Oh, and the Red Sox won the World Series every year.

Instead of telling you about the day she died - because it's really no one else's business besides my family's - I'd rather tell you about some of the better and more humorous things that happened in the following days.

Yes, there were good moments too.

For instance, Mom was so loved and admired that hundreds of people showed up for her wake and funeral. Thankfully it was an unseasonably warm weekend, because people were lined up down the street waiting to get into the funeral home so they could say their last goodbyes and share with us their favorite stories about her. And we had to rent a hall to have the after-funeral lunch so everyone who wanted to attend could. We were touched by the outpouring of love and support.

The most awkward moment came when my ex-husband (yep, I was married before. Another story for another day) showed up at the wake. This was the first time my ex had met the Hubby. There are really no words for how awkward this was, so I'm just going to move along.

My whole family was together a few times that weekend. All of my uncles and aunts and cousins. We looked at old pictures at my Gram's house, we told old stories and we got to know each other again. It wasn't the best reason to have a family reunion, but it was wonderful to see everyone.

And Bill, the love of Mom's life, gave a beautiful speech at her funeral. I don't know how he did it, but he did. For years Bill (a Yankees fan) and Mom (a Red Sox fan) had placed bets with each other over every Yankees-Red Sox meeting. Its amazing the two could live with each other with a rivalry like that (you have to live in New York or New England to truly understand). But during his speech he said that that year, because of my Mom, the Red Sox were finally going to win the World Series and he would be happy about it. And you know what? They did.

God damn, the Red Sox won the f*cking World Series that year.

I can't decide if Mom would be ticked off that she missed it or amused over the irony of it.


Now that its over, I'm glad I wrote this series of posts. It was emotionally draining but spreading it out over a few days took the pressure off of this one day.

On a personal note - my Mom would have made a fantastic Grandmother and not one day goes by that I don't curse the fact that my daughter will never have the chance to really know how wonderful she was. I tell Julia stories of her Grandmother often and there's a picture of Mom in her room.

She was only 51 when she died. She was young and beautiful and loved by many. Its not fair that she was taken from us so soon, but it made me realize that every day you have on this earth must be cherished. Everyday you should tell the one's you love how much they mean to you. And never miss an opportunity to dance.

I love you, Mom, and I miss you.


Christina said...

That was a beautiful tribute to your mom. You had me in tears. I know how much my mom means to me, and the thought of going through what you went through is too much to bear.

I hope that as the years pass the grief will lessen and the memories will continue to warm you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing that. My dear friend just lost her mom last year - near the same age - lung cancer.

I imagine it's very hard to mother without your mother here with you. Sure you do it - but it's one of those things we all want to have...