Okay, it's official...

...I am totally jealous of everyone attending Blogher.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that all my blogging friends who are attending are having the time of their lives - or seem to be having the time of their lives from the pictures they're posting - but I am seething with jealousy.

And green, though my color, is not a shade that compliments me right about now.

It's not that I want to take away from all the fun and frivolity (and SWAG! Oh, how magnificent the swag seems. Pasties for everyone! And, did someone say 'Free Wine'?! Eeek.) but I would truly relish the opportunity to meet all the women who inspire me with their writing and their true-accounts of motherhood. This may be the wine talking (yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the wine. A lovely Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc for $9 a bottle. Score!) but you have been my lifeline in this tumultuous sea of motherhood. The opportunity to toast you, and let's face it, the opportunity to rub elbows with Dooce et all, is something I would pay good money for as well as risking my reputation by letting you see my social retardedness.

But I'm not there. Next year, yes. I will attend if it's still "the" thing to do. My husband, after witnessing me whimpering in the corner cradling my laptop one minute and whipping myself like an albino member of the Opus Dei would the next, has already vowed to send me to Blogher '07. If only to shut me up. But that, too, might be the wine talking.

So, instead, I will say this... If you are reading this (and you should, you bitches. Put down the drink and open up my page. I am Uri Geller. Bend to my will, dammit, BEND!) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the laughter. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with me and other's, but mainly me, and thank you for the thought-provoking posts you all serve up for me to indulge in with my morning coffee. I love you guys. I love you...

Damn, it is the wine talking. Forget those last two lines. I'm a New Englander, for Chrissake. We don't love, we merely tolerate the existence of others. And we certainly do not hug.

Aw hell, who's up for a group hug?

Shit, you're all in San Jose. Well, not all of you...

A couple of days ago, Kvetch, in her infinite wisdom, called upon all of us who are not attending Blogher to give a shout out to other's who are not attending. Spread the love, etcetera, etcetera. Well, I've got a few...

My first tasty morsel to dish up to the hungry masses is Mo-Wo, along with her partner-in-procreation P-man. They just had the cutest, if not quite possibly the hugest, baby in Canada. She's smart (so is he) and engaging (uh, ditto). Not reading her (them)? Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame. And once more for the wee babe (their second child) - Shame.

Second, is the frighteningly intelligent mother to Bub and Pie. She had the misfortune to find me whilst the summer was commencing, because otherwise I would be there everyday, if only to bask in her IQ and hope that some would rub off on me. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe she is a published author. Something about romance novels. Makes me wonder if there weren't heaving bossoms and flowing locks before the Bub and Pie were conceived. Hmmm...

Third, and certainly not least, is Radioactive Girl. So named because she is enduring much to rid herself of the ugliness that is cancer. Go to her and give her support. Commence with the supporting.

So there you have it. If I didn't mention you in this post it isn't because I don't have much love for you, I just ran out of energy. And wine. But I heard at Blogher they were giving away wine for free. I hope they are as generous at Blogher '07.