Saturday, July 29, 2006

Okay, it's official...

...I am totally jealous of everyone attending Blogher.

Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that all my blogging friends who are attending are having the time of their lives - or seem to be having the time of their lives from the pictures they're posting - but I am seething with jealousy.

And green, though my color, is not a shade that compliments me right about now.

It's not that I want to take away from all the fun and frivolity (and SWAG! Oh, how magnificent the swag seems. Pasties for everyone! And, did someone say 'Free Wine'?! Eeek.) but I would truly relish the opportunity to meet all the women who inspire me with their writing and their true-accounts of motherhood. This may be the wine talking (yeah, I'm pretty sure it's the wine. A lovely Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc for $9 a bottle. Score!) but you have been my lifeline in this tumultuous sea of motherhood. The opportunity to toast you, and let's face it, the opportunity to rub elbows with Dooce et all, is something I would pay good money for as well as risking my reputation by letting you see my social retardedness.

But I'm not there. Next year, yes. I will attend if it's still "the" thing to do. My husband, after witnessing me whimpering in the corner cradling my laptop one minute and whipping myself like an albino member of the Opus Dei would the next, has already vowed to send me to Blogher '07. If only to shut me up. But that, too, might be the wine talking.

So, instead, I will say this... If you are reading this (and you should, you bitches. Put down the drink and open up my page. I am Uri Geller. Bend to my will, dammit, BEND!) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the laughter. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with me and other's, but mainly me, and thank you for the thought-provoking posts you all serve up for me to indulge in with my morning coffee. I love you guys. I love you...

Damn, it is the wine talking. Forget those last two lines. I'm a New Englander, for Chrissake. We don't love, we merely tolerate the existence of others. And we certainly do not hug.

Aw hell, who's up for a group hug?

Shit, you're all in San Jose. Well, not all of you...

A couple of days ago, Kvetch, in her infinite wisdom, called upon all of us who are not attending Blogher to give a shout out to other's who are not attending. Spread the love, etcetera, etcetera. Well, I've got a few...

My first tasty morsel to dish up to the hungry masses is Mo-Wo, along with her partner-in-procreation P-man. They just had the cutest, if not quite possibly the hugest, baby in Canada. She's smart (so is he) and engaging (uh, ditto). Not reading her (them)? Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame. And once more for the wee babe (their second child) - Shame.

Second, is the frighteningly intelligent mother to Bub and Pie. She had the misfortune to find me whilst the summer was commencing, because otherwise I would be there everyday, if only to bask in her IQ and hope that some would rub off on me. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe she is a published author. Something about romance novels. Makes me wonder if there weren't heaving bossoms and flowing locks before the Bub and Pie were conceived. Hmmm...

Third, and certainly not least, is Radioactive Girl. So named because she is enduring much to rid herself of the ugliness that is cancer. Go to her and give her support. Commence with the supporting.

So there you have it. If I didn't mention you in this post it isn't because I don't have much love for you, I just ran out of energy. And wine. But I heard at Blogher they were giving away wine for free. I hope they are as generous at Blogher '07.

23 comments:

bubandpie said...

Gahhh! It's an UNPUBLISHED Harlequin romance languishing at the bottom of my closet!

But seriously, you've made my day. I've got to go brew up a non-BlogHer tribute post now. (*exits, blushing furiously*)

Velma said...

O.M.G.

Can you believe it? We are totally rockin' the O.B.S.B. tonight. Can you believe they were charging $25 a bottle for this at the restaurant tonight? We said, "F-that! We can drink at home!"

Also, total coinky-dink - I, too, am totally planning for BlogHER '07 already. After listening to my moaning, hub has already agreed to take vacation that weekend so I can go. See you there!

something blue said...

Chicago here we come! I need to find a good bra before July '07.

I've been glued to bloglines waiting for updates from BlogHer like it's crack.

julia said...

I'm kind of new to all this BlogHer stuff, but it sounds like everyone's having a great time. And drinking. Oh, how I miss drinking.

Self-Proclaimed Supermom said...

You AND Me...Blogher 07. I heard it is in Chicago. WOO HOO!

We are THERE!

Mama C-ta said...

Chicago?? Oh shit, I'm so there, my old hometown. I could never pass that up. I'm so totally jealous of everyone too and no wine to wash away my sorrows.

Mrs. Davis said...

I'm with you, Mrs. Chicky. And I'll see you in Chicago next summer!

Crunchy Carpets said...

while deeply crushed at not getting a mention (;-P)
I do understand your pain. Even as a newbie to all of this.

However, after looking at the pics of the ladies attending Blogher....I will never attend because frankly, they are all to pretty and too glamorous and would have to lurch around in dark corners and avoid any contact with these beautiful and intelligent women.

carrie said...

At least you were there in spirit, er, the wine "spirit" that is! Thanks for all the great links to great reads!

Carrie

lildb said...

I can't wait to meet you guys in Chi-town in '07. Because this time around was too much for me -- I gotta get there, pronto.

And, Mrs. C, my sorrow/jealousy-drowning flavor of choice last evening was Black Mountain pinot grigio, from Trader Joe's. Not as cheap as the Schaw, but still, really inexpensive. And pretty tasty. Just right for washing out the taste of jealous.

xoxo

Christina said...

You WILL be there in Chicago for Blogher 07, or I will drag you there myself! You were very missed at this event, and I know Chicago is a much easier distance to travel, so next year you'll have no excuse.

It was fun. But remember, we haven't discussed the not-so-fun moments yet. I wanted to wait until everything was over to talk about those.

kittenpie said...

Gah, tell me about it. And yeah, those first two are totally rocking my blogroll (as are you, of course, dear!).

I'm really leaning towards HELL YESS! for '07. You?

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

There's always Chicago. I love/hate reading everyone's account of Blogher. Wish I had gone.

Lisa

Elizabeth said...

Yes, there were free tiny glasses of wine, but I hope next year's blogher is sponsored by Bacardi! Please come to Chicago next year. I so want to meet you!

radioactive girl said...

Awww, you are so sweet to mention me! It makes me feel all warm inside! I too wish I could be there this year, but if it is true that it will be in Chicago next year...that is very close to where I live! Only 365 days to go (give or take, I'm sure)

CPA Mom said...

I'm conflicted about the whole Blogher thing. On one hand, the chance to meet everyone, in person, just makes me want to jump up and down in excitement. And the "celebrities?" OMG. But...my sister, the one who hates me, goes every year. I won't be going, ever, as long as she goes. Sounds so elementary school...ugh! What to do, what to do. The chance to meet Chicky Chicky Baby, in person???? Oh, the agony of indecision.

Jenny said...

Free wine...I'm so going to be there next year.

Kristi said...

BlogHer SchmogHer. I'd much rather hang out in my bedroom and stuff myself with pringles and daiquiries than actually meet people. Who wants to be around a bunch of drunk moms?

I'll be writing the above in 2007 as well. Trying to convince myself it's fun to be too poor to go anywhere. :)

MrsFortune said...

Mrs. Chicky. How much do I love, oops, I mean, tolerate, thee? Let me count the ways ... lots and lots, even without free churrascaria food. Next year it's in my backyard, so, uh, you better be there. A cheaper flight for you, too.

J's Mommy said...

Great post and I'm totally jealous as well. I just have one thing to say though. I know I'm new to this and all, but I've seen a few other people write about 'Dooce' and getting the chance to rub elbows with 'Dooce.' Who is this woman and is she really that good?

mothergoosemouse said...

Mrs. C, I'll have you know that I said - on more than one occasion - that I wished you were there.

Not just free wine. Free wine in 12 oz. plastic glasses. I had to bogart some Advil liquigels from Dawn.

My own shout-out here to Tori at Radioactive Girl. What courage and strength she has.

mo-wo said...

I am filled with blush.. and a reminder that I can drink freely at any time.. I can drink again, now and forever. Because hey I am done with the birthin' for good now, right.

On blogger.. riddle me this batman... I went to my 10 year high school reunion and the most memorable part was when some guy asked me who was conspicuous in their absence. That's US.. so there.

Nancy said...

If it helps, the wine at BlogHer was really cheap and not that yummy, IMHO. ;-)

Wish I could have packed you with me in my bag!