Monday, July 17, 2006

Do they have baked scrod on the early bird menu?

My apologies in advance for this poor excuse for a post (yeah, like the last two were so tremendously inspired) but I'm still recovering from my FIRST EVER NIGHT AWAY FROM MY KID IN 15 MONTHS. That's right, my friends, it took more than a year but I finally got away from the little soul sucker, ahem, darling child for an overnight trip to see my sister on the Cape. Which turned into a 30 hour long rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs. More highs than lows, I'm happy to report, but it will take me a bit to organize my thoughts on this subject since my sister and I tried to cram in as much fun and frivolity into my short trip as possible. On top of that its going to take me at least a day to clean my house so I can feel comfortable with what passes for order in Casa de Chicky. Which, truthfully, amounts to little more than pushing pet hair around from one location to another. But still, leave a man alone with a kid for a day and that man will only take care of the kid. He'll do a damn fine job, let me stress that - A Damn Fine job - and maybe he'll throw in a load of laundry or two, but cleaning the rest of the carnage is left up to the returning conquering hero, or heroine in this case, come Monday morning.

Sigh.

I will leave you with this, however: Chicky Baby, my little crumb crusher, is 15 months today. And because of what bearing her and the time spent caring for her have done to my body (and, instead of exercising, the time I spent whittling the cross that I will soon be carrying, because all good martyrs should have one), this weekend when shopping for a new bathing suit to wear to one of Cape Cod's fine beaches I bought a nice, conservative tankini.

With a skirted bottom.

I'd like to think that with it's plunging neckline it looks like something Serena Williams would wear on the tennis court, but what it really is is a fucking bathing suit with a skirt. Later today I will be doing Google searches for cheap liposuction.

Until then at least I won't have to worry that much about the state of my bikini line.

27 comments:

Mother said...

A skirted bottom? Haha. I need a skirted top.

Wait. That's what tankinis are for...

Mommy off the Record said...

Whoever thought of the tankini is a genius. Pure and simple. I couldn't live without em.

Christina said...

You wanna know the bathing suit I bought for Blogher? It's a swimdress. A dress! No remote hint of showing any midriff there, plus a full skirt to hide the upper thighs.

But I will add that it's a very nice looking swimdress...

Ashley said...

the least amount of worries you can have, the better! so if it helps you not worry about your bikini line, then who cares what it looks like?

lynsalyns said...

Mrs. Chicky, I also bought TWO skirted tankinis. I felt like an A-S-S but at least my real A-S-S wasn't terrorizing the bathers at Indian Neck beach.

I am sure you looked as cute as Serena and probably more slender! :)

Jess said...

I'm a huge fan of board shorts. I can pretend I am young while not having to horrify anyone with what is now considered my ass (I still argue it's not mine, it's a cheap imitation).
Then I get all crazy and add a bikini top.
And I leave the house.

Scared yet? :)

sunshinedaily4me_wuz_here said...

Know what you mean about the bathing suit....and your remark about the cross. Freaking hilarious! You have a way with words. Loved the post.

mothergoosemouse said...

Happy 15 months to Chicky Baby! And congrats to you and Mr. Chicky.

Whittling the cross - yes, that's EXACTLY what I've been up to. While wearing my skirted tankini.

mamatulip said...

Oh yeah...my bathing suit has a skirt, too.

radioactive girl said...

bathing suit skirts rock! Not to mention the fact that you then don't need to worry about the shaving/waxing/grooming issues down there (or is that too much info on my slacker ways?)

J's Mommy said...

can't wait to hear about your trip. and as for the tankini, it's not all that bad. the alternative is much more frightening, at least for me.

Elizabeth said...

Happy 15 months to Chicky Baby! My bathing suit doesn't have a skirt, but the top goes all the way to my neck, in order to keep my bosoms contained.

carrie said...

I am so hearing you on the whole tankini thing! Long live the skirted bottom!!! At least fo now . . .

Carrie

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Hi, Love your blog. Boy you are my hero for going away for a night alone. I MUST TAKE THAT STEP.

And yay for finding a good bathing suit. I like the boy shirts version of the tankini for the same reason. They are named boy shorts, but cover up all the best girl parts that need covering. wink.

Lisa G

Kristin said...

I am all about the skirted bottom... mine has a halter style neck so I am pretending I look stylish and retro as opposed to, "who do you think you're fooling in that skirt?"

Look forward to hearing about your weekend!

Jill Urbane, The Mentor Mom said...

A night away from your little one...that's a big step! I have to ask, did you feel refreshed when you came back (or maybe in the car on the way back before you saw what was left of your house)?

Mom101 said...

From your description, we just bought the same swimsuit. Amazing how fast I went from "I'd never wear a one piece" to grandma swimwear. Sigh.

And 15 months? Never a night away? Really? Kudos! May the next one be longer, with only ups and no downs. Unless we're still using the roller coaster analogy in which case the downs really are the good part.

Gina said...

Glad you got away for a day! Great job picking out the suit... I think you saw that mine was skirted as well. Lipo always sounds like a good idea during bathing suit season...

sunshine scribe said...

I don't know whether to be embarassed or proud to admit that I once would only wear a string bikini. Now? Its grandmas-ville all the way. Sigh :)

Kristen said...

I haven't done a damn thing to loose any of my extra weight lol. I eat what I want, when I want. No apologies lol.

Blog Antagonist said...

I went to a skirted suit years ago. And you know what? I actually like the look of them. I think they're cute. And, I'm much more comfortable when I know my ass isn't hanging out.

Eight years after giving birth to gigantobaby, I still have a jello belly, and that's after about fifty bazillion situps and losing 60 lbs. You find a lipo guy who will accept chocolate chip cookies in lieu of payment and I'm there.

mrsmogul said...

I love the CAPE! My friend is from there and we used to go to Craig Beach!

Nancy said...

I got a one-piece disguised as a tankini, with extra super sucking power (OK, they call it "slimwear" -- it's got some control-top thingie underneath). Probably should have gotten the skirt to hide my thunder thighs. Sigh.

Her Bad Mother said...

Don't even get me started (snap snap) on the swimsuit issue.

Happy birthday to the chick!

Lisa said...

As I get older I find my swim suits seem to cover more and more areas. Soon I'll be wearing something that only leaves my feet, hands and face exposed! So yeah, I know what ya mean.

Marcie said...

Ignoring the bikini line? Bonus!
Swimsuits are cruel. If you have a stomach problem they can hide that, if it's a thigh problem your only option is the skirt. Which makes it obvious that you're trying to cover them up. So unfair!

lildb said...

a) dude. a-MEN (pun intended) about the whole non-cleaning caregiver for a husband thing. what *is* it about hanging out with the kid for a whole day that negates their ability to wipe the freaking kitchen counter off? throw garbage away? etc.?

b) you got out! sweet!

c) can I borrow the cross-whittling pattern when you're done with it? please and thank you. :p