A long weekend of spring cleaning, Easter visiting, and a milestone birthday lays before me and the rest of the Chicky Family. My head is spinning with the overwhelming lists in my head, lists I make in order to keep my mind tidy and, therefore, help me execute the catalogue of tasks that accompany Holidays and Birthdays in seemingly effortless style (Ha!). So instead of a real post, and because lists seem to be the theme of the week, I will instead run down some of the important things I have recently learned.
- Even though my cat is horribly overweight (her nickname: Jaba the Cat), she can still run faster than I when making a bee-line for the open patio door while carrying a live garden snake in her mouth.
- Garden snakes hate being picked up with disposable diapers. (Hey, it was clean.)
- As a born and raised New Englander I am still amazed at how aloof some people in this region of the country can be, even when you are walking within 10 feet of them pushing a baby carriage. No hello, no smile, nothing. Hey Neighbor, its not like I'm expecting you to ooh and aah over my freakin' baby. What? You can't even nod to one of your neighbors? Fine, just don't come to me when you need to borrow a cup of sugar. Or when some random dog takes a dump on your front lawn.
- I am a fortunate woman that I have friends of different faiths who will talk openly and earnestly about religion with me on beautiful spring mornings and then let the subject drift over to the merits of a good honey ham on Easter. And that was with my Jewish friends.
- With Wednesday's Queen tribute by the American Idol contestants beaten into an unrecognizable pulp, I think its safe to say that AI has not only jumped the shark, but said shark is currently picking its teeth with the shards of their talentless water skis. Okay, bad metaphor.
- On the topic of television, if you're not watching "The New Adventures of Old Christine" then you're missing out on some funny shit.
- Its really, really hard not to scream "Fuck!" in front of your impressionable child after you've stubbed your naked toe on the corner of the dining room table. It comes out sounding more like "Fuuucdgeggaaah", which doesn't make your foot feel any better and, really, its a little insulting to your bruised toe.
- You can spend $200 on new workout clothes, but you actually have to workout to make that muffin top go away. Lesson leaned: Shopping = fun. Crunches = suck.
- Chicky Baby has a serious career as a rockstar ahead of her. Or, at least as a Pink Lady.
Have a great weekend!