Monday, April 10, 2006

You can't make this stuff up...


300 Competitors. $50,000. Three throws...

And an excuse to get out of Mom and Dad's basement.

The good folks at the House of Blues in Las Vegas took some time out from their usual routine of rock bands and high priced merchandising to host a tournament that even the kiddies could appreciate:

The 2006 USARPS Championships - that's the USA Rock Paper Scissors League for those of you not familiar with the acronym.

Should I repeat that? Rock, Paper, Scissors. Rock, Paper, freakin' Scissors.

This man, from Nebraska, won $50,000 for winning a glorified game of Rochambeau. You can insert your own jokes, I'm too busy stocking my pantry with bottled water, batteries and canned goods because, clearly, this is the sign of the Apocalypse.

If rock-paper-scissors is, in fact, the next Texas Hold'em (in terms of payout) or the next cool game that all the kids are playin' (like Dodge Ball) then what comes after RPS? I know that somewhere there's some MIT drop-out sitting at his coffee table thinking of another way to stick it to his overbearing father by inventing yet another way to fuel his Red Bull habit by doing anything but joining the working week.

I'm already one cup of coffee into this Monday morning, so here are my suggestions:


Four Square:
A little more involved than RPS, but any guy (or girl, don't want to generalize) who was a regular D&D player in, ahem, High School who still has his Mom do his laundry and make his lunch should be able to tackle this contest with little problem. Though it can be physical, so a player should be immediately disqualified if they regularly had a nurse's note to get them out of gym class.

hopscotch:
Again, this one involves a bit of athletic ability, but I think any psychotic fan of Star Wars who spent 48 hours standing in line for the release of the Phantom Menace without proper access to a rest room could probably handle it.

Pickle:
Oops, wait a minute... I think this one has already been done. Its commonly called Minor League Baseball.

Kick the Can:
I envision this one as a larger version of "Beauty and the Geek". Something tells me there wouldn't be as much tagging when the women were "it".

The caffeine is starting to wear off, so please feel free to add your own. I think we might have a new career in the making here.

14 comments:

Carrcakes said...

I totally need to invent a game to get me out of the work week. Mind if I borrow one of yours?

Christina said...

Dude, I am all about a Red Rover Championship! It'll be in the X-Games for sure!

Other thoughts:

Hide & Seek - With hidden cameras in the compound to see where everyone is hiding. Another ultimate reality TV show in the making.

Old Maid/Go Fish - These card games have got to be as interesting as Poker.

Pattie said...

How about Dodgeball? 1,2,3 greenlight? Simon Says?
My hubby actually is in an Italian "morra" tournament every year(a game of throwing fingers simultaneously against an opponent and saying the sum in Italian) The winner only receives a trophy....

Mr Chicky said...

In no particular order:

Freeze Tag - you know you loved that one as a kid. No other game exposed elementary school favoritism better than this one. "Hmmm ... do I save Brian or Mike?"

Battleship - all together now "You sank my Battleship!"

Pin the Tail on the Donkey - blindfolds, thumb tacks and an Ass ... wait, is this to be held in Vegas? Don't they already call that the Porn convention?

Spin the Bottle - the ultimate game of self elimination "no way am I kissing him/her … I’m out"

Tic-Tac-Toe - even a Super computer named WOPPER proved that this game is unwinnable ... hehehe ... Matthew Broderick '80s movie references ... good times!

and of course ... the ultimate game of chance ... coin flipping ... not to be confused with cow tipping, which too might make a good competition.

Kristen said...

HAHAHA That's great. I read about the "WORLD BEER PONG" tourney a few months back. $100K for playing a drinking game

HELLS YEAH.

Christina said...

< geek>

Well, there are already competitions for Battleship. They're played every year at the Origins gaming convention.

< /geek>

something blue said...

Back to the days of recess... Chinese skipping or maybe a good round of marbles.

For us mom's we could have stroller races which involve maneuvering a double stroller through a busy grocery store. That's always a challenge! I just know it's a sport and I'm in training.

CroutonBoy said...

Hooray for Four-Square! I freakin' rocked at that game growing up...I knew how to double-bounce without being called for "typewriting".

And I would so get my ass kicked in a rock-paper-scissors tournament. Some people are just wired for that. And by the look of it they also drive tractors for a living...

MrsFortune said...

Mother May I? Hide and seek was the other one but someone smarter already took it.

I'm not lying - I have a T-shirt from the world RPS society. I'll take a photo and put it up on my blog but I've been down with the RPS championships for years. You still like me, right? haha ...

MrsFortune said...

Mother May I? Hide and seek was the other one but someone smarter already took it.

I'm not lying - I have a T-shirt from the world RPS society. I'll take a photo and put it up on my blog but I've been down with the RPS championships for years. You still like me, right? haha ... (dude, can I just tell you, you have the LONGEST word verification words ever on this blog! it's like some welsh word for antidisestablishtmentarianism or something)

Mama C-ta said...

4-square, oh heck yeah!! I'd be the mo-fo champion, I've been training for years.

sweatpantsmom said...

Ha! What about thumb wrestling? Although, not any less idiotic than regular wrestling.

sunshine scribe said...

haha. I am all over a four-square championship.

Chaotic Mom said...

Ooooh... I NEEDED a good laugh this morning! Thank you for providing!

Is there an age limit to the RPS competition? You mean I could be GOOD (read: lucky) at something (that requires no actual skill) and win money??? ;)