Thursday, April 06, 2006

Reading, 'riting, 'rithmetic... and really high mortgage payments

The Hubby, being the fine and upstanding worker-bee that he is, will soon be moving on to a bigger and better job in his company. This is a gig that will not only put him in a position to be seen by Those Who Hold the Ladder Which You Want To Climb but will also give him a slight bump in pay. Which is always nice because I enjoy being a kept woman and I need someone to fund my Target habit. In all seriousness, though - he deserves this job. My man is one hard-working MoFo and, I might add, he's wicked smaaaht (as they say in this neck of the woods). There is no man on this earth who impresses me more than my Husband... okay, maybe Ghandi, he was kind of extraordinary. Oh, and the Pope. No, not the current one, the last one. Heck, they're trying to canonize him... that's pretty notable too....

Getting back on topic, the Hubby is not only one of the smartest men that I have had the pleasure of intimately knowing but he's good and kind, he knows right from wrong (hard qualities to hold on to when working for corporate America), and most of all he does what's right for his family and he holds Chicky Baby and I above all other things. You can see why I married the guy. Because he sees the big picture better than me (most of the time) and because he's - God I hate to say this - smarter than I am when it comes to some topics, I tend to agree with him when he has ideas on how to make our lives better. Recently, however, the Hubby and I have come to a crossroads in our journey together as parents and I'm not quite sure how this is going to work itself out.

Getting this new position in his company means the Hubby will have to travel farther to work everyday. This would be a non-issue if it wasn't for the fact that the job will require him to put in a minimum of 9 hours a day. Tack onto that an hour plus commute (depending on traffic) each way and he can pretty much kiss seeing his daughter on the weekdays "bye bye". So the Hubby, being the brilliant man that he is said:

"Let's buy a house closer to Boston!"

"Great!" I said. "You grab the ski masks, I'll grab the water guns and we'll go knock over the 7-eleven!"

See, the reason we decided to buy this house, in this town, is because it was reasonably priced for its proximity to the Boston area. I would tell you just how "reasonable" it is but you guys would probably choke on your tongues. Unless you're reading this in California or New York - then you'd say "Yep, that's reasonable alright." Because it is a little farther into the wilds of Massachusetts, up until recently the town has not had the kind of taxpayer money to afford them to have a top-notch school system. The schools are not bad, but they're not the best. And here is where we reach our dilema. (Finally!) My man was not only born with a high IQ but he also grew up in one of those monied towns around Boston, one with a Really Good School System. Though he was the son of a civil servant and a stay at home mom, he was a lucky little boy because those public schools rivaled the private schools where I grew up. He and his parents put education on a very high pedestal and my In-Laws were less than thrilled when we moved to our current home.

But, then again, I didn’t hear them offering to buy us a house in Rich-ley (as I will refer to their place of residence). But anywhooo...

The Hubby not only wants to move us to a town where he can get home in time to see Chicky Baby before she goes to bed, but also a town that has the best Really Good School System that we can afford. Though, here’s the rub... I love my daughter and I think she deserves the best of everything that I could possibly provide for her, but I don’t want to move! I am finally starting to feel settled. I’ve made friends, lots of them, with kids Chicky Baby’s age. I’m just starting to know the names of streets without having to Mapquest them. I have a favorite Sunday morning breakfast place, for Chirssake! And, most of all, I’m pretty happy here. The thought of having to up and move to a much smaller home in a town where I know no one is troubling to me. Scratch that... Its downright terrifying. I’m a fairly personable woman but it takes time to cultivate friendships and I’m not the kind of person who will walk to the neighbor’s house to ask for a cup of sugar just because I need an excuse to meet them. No, I need to be drawn out of my shell by a kind soul, like a scared dog needs a tasty treat to get him to come out from under the porch.

And that is where we reach our impasse. The Hubby wants to move to the town with the Really Good School System and I want to stay in my comfort zone. I can't help but feel a little bit selfish. I want to give Chicky Baby every opportunity to succeed in this world and I want her to be happy but, let’s face it...

If Mommy’s not happy, nobody is happy.

14 comments:

reluctant housewife said...

Are you thinking of buying a house in a town that rhymes with "Rich"-esley? Because then we'll see each other at all the open houses...We're looking but are extremely bitter at how little we can afford.

If you are also looking at a twon that rhymes with "Rich"-wton, then don't fear! We can go for walks together because that's where we live now!

Or we could all move to Ric-dham. I hear you get more for your money there and the schools are still good.

(Good luck. I hope you move closer to me. I promise not to stalk you.)

rhonda said...

What a tough tough decision. I will tell you what, I am in Philly area now (Suburbia) and I would move to Boston in a heartbeat. I visited there for a week on business, and just loved it. The people were so friendly and nice (not like around here).

You just need to weigh out all of the options. I like to write pros and cons on a piece of paper. It helps me to get some clarity.

Good luck!

MrsFortune said...

I feel ya. My hubz has been talking about moving because prices in the Chicago area could give Mass a run for their money, I'm sure .. I'd be really hard pressed to do it, too, so I dunno. I think that your daughter will get a great education if her school is even somewhat good because of all the support she'll have from you.

But you should live somewhere where they don't say "smaaaaaaht."

Jess Riley said...

Good luck with the decision! You're such a nice person that I don't doubt for a second that you'd meet friends shortly in a new neighborhood.

something blue said...

That's a tough call. I hope you find what is right for your family.

I think if I were in your shoes, I'd want the extra time with husband (for myself and for my children). I would hate to feel like a single parent during the week. But I know how hard it would be to move away from friends and familiarity. But change can be good. Damn I'm no help at all!

mo-wo said...

I am with you in the don't wanna move camp.. I am in fact probably even lazier. A good house came up for sale 2 blocks from here that would give us the 3rd bedroom we need... I wouldn't look at it.

Make him do all the work, take 18 months to do it and it has to be something YOU luuuuve! maybe?

Bobita said...

Oh!

This one is tough! I am sooo with you! It is hard to feel settled...and I am all about puttin' down the roots! But having your baby not see Daddy during the week...I might be all about NEW roots! But then again, if you couldn't waltz over and ask the new neighbors for some sugar...without carrying mace or a concealed weapon...YIKES!!

My heart goes out to you!

Congrats to your hubby for the promo! And I wish you the best in your big decision!

Christina said...

That's a tough one. Like you, I'm not fond of being uprooted and moving somewhere where I don't know anyone. But the long commute and not seeing Chicky would be really rough, also.

I say give it some time. After a month or two of the new job, you'll have a better feel for what the reality of the situation will be. You may decide the move is worth it, or you may decide you can handle the commute. Wait it out.

Mrs. Chicky said...

RH - The Hubby's got a few more rungs to climb before we can afford Rich-esley or Rich-wton. We're concentrating our search farther west, in Rich-dbury. But if I lived closer we would so be rockin' the strollers in Rich-wton Corner

Rhonda - Only someone from Philly could get away with saying people from Boston are friendly and nice.

Mrs. Fortune - Ahem, I think I said Wicked Smaaht . What a pissah.

Jess - Stop it You're making me blush.

Mrs. Chicky said...

SB - Yes, change is good. I have to remind myself of that.

Mo-wo & Christina - That is exactly what we're planning on doing. I'm waiting for the house cupid to shoot his bow into my ass before we decide to uproot.

Bobita - sorry if I didn't make myself clear... the town we're looking to move to is quite genteel. But I'm a hermit who hates to leave her house! Okay, I'm exagerating... a little.

Chaotic Mom said...

We ALMOST moved to the Boston area. It has one of the Army's largest housing allowances. GOSH that place is out of reach for us!

I sympathize with you, though. I've moved way too many times for my own good, to follow Hubby and his job. I don't have any words of wisdom, I'm not a fan of the move, either.

Yes, you would make new friends, have more time with hubby. This is a good thinker one. Take your time...

Her Bad Mother said...

That's tough, really. My own thoughts would be similar to yours: feeling settled and comfortable in your community, *and* (big one) having maximum Husband/Daddy time are priceless. The quality of a child's education, I think, has more to do with support from parents than it does with 'quality' schools - your child will thrive, even if the school is not top-notch, so long as home life is happy and supportive.

That said, you do want to take your husband's feelings/views into account, obviously.

In any case, congrats to your huz on his good news! And to you for clearly havin a great huz!

J's Mommy said...

My mother says that to me all the time - "if you're not happy, then nobody will be happy." anyway, i feel for you. i don't think i'd have the strength, especially if you've just started feeling comfortable. it's so hard to get to that place. me thinks you and your hubby have some more talking to do.

Pattie said...

Wow, do I understand what you are talking about. I live close to you,(in RI) and right now I am in Charlotte, N.C. looking at homes and schools because my husband accepted a better job. Change is always frightening. But, who knows? You may meet your next best friend...