Friday, November 16, 2007

Bubbah

The honeymoon is over. I knew she couldn't call it a "kitty" forever. And as much as Mr. C just wanted to ignore the whole topic all together it finally came time to give Chicky's girlie parts, and mine for that matter, a name.

It all went down a few weeks ago after a shower.

"Mama, was dat? Dat your bum?", my child asked pointing at my unfortunately overgrown nether regions. Personal grooming is the first to be chucked, right after one's lunch, when you have morning sickness like mine.

"No, hon. That's Mama's vuh... Um, Mama's vuh... Uh."

"Mama's booty?"

"No, not Mama's booty." Mama's booty is not that hairy. Yet. A few more months of pregnancy and I'll look like Sasquatch, but for now I'm still good.

"Was dat?"

"That's Mama's vuh... Vulva. That's Mama's vulva." Yeah, that's the ticket.

"Oh," she let this sink in for a moment. "Mama's bulbbah. Okay."

And with that she ran off to play with her baby dolls.

Why is it so difficult to name certain parts of our daughters anatomy? I'm sure there are some of you who fearless dive right into the correct terms, but I am not like that. At all. I was raised Catholic. I didn't know the correct terminology until I was 26.

For some reason I have no problem at all saying "Penis". See? Penis. Peeeenis. Nope. No problem there. That one easily slips off the tongue. So to speak. Heh.

But "vulva" and "vagina" do not come so easily.

(Oh, the double entendres. Somebody stop me.)

Maybe it's the "vuh" sound. If it were, in fact, a "bulba", as Chicky refers to it, or sometimes a "bubbah" - which elicits images of Bill Clinton, quite apropos if you ask me - when she gets lazy with her pronunciations, I would have a slightly easier time saying it. Like that crazy broad on that reality show from a couple years back:

"He bite me on my bagina."

Not the greatest example but you get my meaning. There's just something about the "vuh" sound that just doesn't sit well with me. But vulva is what we've committed to and vulva is what we'll refer to it as. If Chicky has no problem referring to it as her "Bubbah" then so be it.

I suppose it would be wrong if I started calling it her "Bubbah" too, huh? Especially with the presidential election coming up.

42 comments:

Heather said...

I applaud your bravery!

I don't have girls and thus have not had to deal with the female anatomy terminology. But my eleven year old son brought home 3 questions about menstruation and PMS that we were required to discuss for his Health class and that was, um, interesting.

At least now he knows not to mess with me when I am extra cranky.

Rachel said...

Thanks for the laugh! That was funny!
We call it like it is here. My daughter has been talking about vaginas and penises (penii?) since she was old enough to recognize them. :-) I guess it just doesn't bother me... but I have some friends that have crazy names for them. 'vulva' could be worse LOL!
:-)

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I'm so cracking up right now. (And am feeling all cocky (heh) enough to laugh cuz I only have the boyz.)

"Pee-pee" and "balls" are commonplace words here in the Trenches. And that's about the extent of it.

Oh, The Joys said...

For some reason I'm confusing this and Bubba Gump's Shrimp from that Tom Hank's movie and I"m all confused and not at all hungry.

Dory said...

Practice with vahjayjay. It's a nice transition between hoohoo and vagina.

Blog Antagonist said...

FWIW, I think the use of proper anatomical terms is overrated. What's wrong with kitty or hoo hoo? Honestly?

But you are terribly brave. My boys probably know too much stuff. My mom was so closed mouthed that I kinda went reeeeeaaaaaalllly far in the other direction.

flutter said...

Now can you come over and teach the correct anatomical terms to my fiance so he'll stop referring to it as "the good stuff"?

Heather said...

I also have no problem with penis, but when I have to refer to the girlie parts...Gah! I suck it up and say it quickly but it just doesn't have the same ring to it as penis does.

Phoenix said...

I think it's hard because we know they are going to talk about it often. And loudly...in places where we'd prefer they not.

Personaly I can say Penis easily, but I have issues with girlie parts. Well issues with the words, I guess. Hell, my nieces say their TeeTee. It's so bad, but at the same time when they start talking about it on Thanksgiving, my grandpa won't have a clue, we won't have to worry about him having a heart attack and he'll make it to Christmas.

Wendy said...

Oh come on, you haven't lived until you are out shopping and you daughter tells everyone within a five mile radius that she has a vagina. Just like her mama.

~JJ! said...

Man-o-man-o-...This is a tough one.

We just use the real thing here..

Although we have nicknames too.

I tell her to use the 'real' terms when she's out in the real world...I hear it turns "OFF" predators.

Just so you know.

kittenpie said...

I've begun making a point of correcting pumpkinpie lately, in fact. She was having some of the vaginosis that young girls sometimes get if they forget to wipe correctly, and was telling me her bum hurt or itched. Well, that's not where it was red, and I'd like her to be able to describe problems more accurately, so I have taken the plunge on this one more than I really needed to earlier, when I told her the names, but never really needed to use them much.

Not that I use proper terms for my own... business.

motherbumper said...

I have a really, really hard time but I get it out... barely. And I cannot say penis out loud. Typing it makes me giggle. It's from being raised Catholic and being incredibly immature. I'm not really helping here but I just had to say OMG that video is funny. I had never met the bagina lady before. BTW how does your dog not get fixed but have a vasectomy - is that possible?

jen said...

M asked me recently if that was my hairy penis.

nice talk at the daycare center apparently. four year old boys are dastardly.

The Estrogen Files said...

Hubbers says penis is a small, squeaky word (not worthy of his manhood, apparently) but VAGINA is a large cave word, said with a ROAR!

Julie Pippert said...

LOL

I could go on and so forth about prowess versus shame, manliness versus chastity...in answer to your question. But eh...

I'll just LOL instead and say go for Bubbah with the giggle.

Julie
Using My Words

something blue said...

Love the double entendres!

Luckily I don't have a problem with vagina. I've always hated when people call it a birdie. Is it going to fly away?

Maddy said...

We are also currently being tortured by the ditty 'shake your booty!'
Cheers

Jozet at Halushki said...

My kids know all the correct terminology, and still insist on making up their own names.

My youngest daughter came up with the bright idea of calling her vulva a "bird", and I had to explain to her that that term might be confusing in the gym locker room.

On another note, my sister's BILs all collect old Volvos. A few of them play dumb and mispronounce it as "Vulvas" - even though they know the correct pronunciation; they do it to drive their mother crazy.

Mac and Cheese said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mac and Cheese said...

I taught my daughter proper terminology, but she went back to calling it a bum, so I left it at that for now.

Lawyer Mama said...

That is a hard one. Today, Hollis was rummaging through my bedroom while I showered. When I got out he had to come in and asked (for the first time) "What's all that hair down there?" Um...maybe it's time to avoid letting the 3 year old see me naked?

Mrs. Chicky, why can't they stay sexless babies forever? WHY? Ahhhhh!

BethGo said...

It could be worse. My friend's daughter announced at a holiday dinner one night in front of both sets of grandparents that her mom had a "hairy butt".
Yikes.

Kyla said...

Is it wrong that we haven't crossed this particular bridge yet? KayTar hasn't asked, and she probably won't for a while.

Manic Mommy said...

Somehow we ended up using "peep." It's generic and easy. And with two boys, it'll be an easy transition to "penis". We haven't discussed the testicles as yet. Everything in that region is currently either a peep or a bum.

We know that girl peeps are different and that's enough for now.

BOSSY said...

Fer chrissake, Bossy was looking for Chicky and stumbled onto a porn site. Guess it's time for some bifocals.

FENICLE said...

That was a great post. I loved it!! I am deathly afraid of giving parts names. Our 5 year old knows his, but the woman's parts are just all labeled "girl parts" - seriously!!

The Hotfessional said...

I must agree. Thank goodness for boys. And Dads to have the talk. I'm such a chicken shit.

Kelly Malloy said...

My boys had a hard time believing that Mommy did not have 2 butts!

Hannah said...

I'm the same way, "penis" comes tripping out no problem at all but when wee Isaac asks what I have instead of a penis I stumble. Although I do admit "vulva" is an easier word than "vagina". Let's face it, vagina is just not pleasant. Rhymes with angina. There should be a nicer word altogether, I think.

Don Mills Diva said...

That's funny. I'm with fenicle - I think when the time comes I'll just leave it at girl parts - seriously if that's my biggest omission as a parent I'm doing ok right?

mamatulip said...

"He bite me on my bagina."

!!!

I am scared to click that link.

Seriously.

Life As I Know It said...

Yeah, I'm not so good with the naming body parts thing either. I have boys though, and somehow explaining their parts seems easier.

carrie said...

The whole time I'm reading this, I'm thinking "Boohbah" that weird PBS children's series that is like a bad acid trip.

Duh. Then I got it. Bubbah.

I apologize for my slowness, and applaud you on at least trying to name your nether regions. It's not easy, and I know because my daughter showers with me too and you should hear some of the conversations we have about my, a'hem, area.

ali said...

i *like* bubbah.
it's freakin' adorable!!

Alex Elliot said...

I struggled over the name for girl parts because I want to use correct words, but I honestly don't hear the word vulva very often. I finally settled with telling my sons that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. I mean it is true! Either that or I need to take anatomy again. However, in our book called Wonderful You or something to that effect, the vulva is clearly labeled so my sons are learning that too. Why is this so hard?!

moosh in indy. said...

I called mine a cookie for a long time, you can see the problem there.
I now have a front bum and a back bum.

Jacquie said...

I will never forget when the little boy I babysat (he was 4) 1st saw my DD without a diaper. he said "OMG where is her do-do?" After almost pmsl I said no she has a "de-de". he was content enough even though it was "gross".


But mine had for a time been dubbed "my bum" too, thankfully it was never discussed to much about Mommy's hairy bum.

Vagina sounds so vulgar for whatever reason?? 4/5 of us in my house have one, but we call it a Peppit (which is supposedly from the filipino language).

Mommy off the Record said...

I prefer vagina, but that's just me. :)

Jenni said...

My roommate in college called it her "blossom." But there were some other issues there...

Her Bad Mother said...

BULBAH. Love. Love Bubbah even more.

WB is currently fascinated by my BOOBIES, which she never fails to announce in the grocery store. Let's hope she doesn't look down anytime soon.

Jenifer said...

We haven't delved into correct terms yet... you are much braver than I.

She calls it her bummy and her pee pee. I guessed we coined the term based on what comes out of it.... only problem is the only distinction upon seeing me change her brother'd diaper is he has a "boy pee pee" and she has a "girl pee pee". Works for now I guess....