Monday, March 12, 2007

Are they made with real Girl Scouts?

In case you have ever made the assumption from my long and slightly sanctimonious posts about dogs and their owners that my dogs are perfectly trained:




Could have been worse, they could have stopped at just eating the cookies instead of eating pieces of the boxes, too.


This is what happens after a long, cold winter when dogs don't get the necessary exercise they require and are left at home alone with the pantry door unlocked. Not opened, just unlocked. My dog, Lana, can open a sticky bi-fold pantry door with her paws.

Too smart for her own good? Maybe just a bit.

The other day she opened the pantry door and took three boxes of Girl Scout cookies off the shelf - along with a box of Aunt Annie's Bunny Pasta, because what better to wash down chocolate than powdered cheese and dry macaroni? - and shared them with my other dog, Fisher. One box of Thin Mints, one box of Peanut Butter Patties and one box of those caramel-coconut thingies. I came home to find this mess and two very happy Labradors hopped up on sugar with pieces of the boxes hanging from their mouths.

No, my dogs are not perfectly trained. They're wily, but not perfectly trained.

But then again, they sleep against a barrister bookcase filled with antique glassware, so I suppose they're not beyond hope.

And, no, I don't have any pictures of the happy, sugar-filled dogs. They were unceremoniously kicked through the back door, while I choked on my own words. You can't scold a dog for something unless they're in the act....Ack, cough, cough, cough, @#$%@&!

But you can kick them in the ass and refuse to look at them for a half an hour while you clean up the mess and then check to see if all the boxes were eaten. They left us two boxes of Peanut Butter Patties. How kind of them.

Anyone need a dog trainer? I'm available.

46 comments:

Avalon said...

Mrs C~~ TYou are a very kind woman indeed. If mine stole my treats, I wouldn't be looking at them for a LOT longer than one half hour. I probably wouldn't look at those pups until they donned Girl Scout uniforms and got me some more damn cookies!

Blog Antagonist said...

LOL! Dogs will be dogs, right? One of my cats can open closed doors too and it can be a problem. They aren't quite as gluttonous as a dog though. They wouldn't touch a girl scout cookie. But they would snarf down 3 bags of salmon flavored cat treats.

Did your dogs get sick? I shudder to think.

Julie Pippert said...

LOL LOL LOL

Sometimes my dog amazes me too. Mine had pepperoni pizza for lunch on Saturday. With cheese stuffed crust. There were some mighty disappointed kids. And one happy labbie.

I'm reminded frequently that although trained extensively, he's not perfectly trained, and neither am I. We both still have some wildcards in us.

WWCD? (What Would Cesar Do?)

(And I'm TOTALLY kidding with that last bit. I know it crazes you. ;) )

We wonder if we ought to have gotten two dogs, often. He has a pack here in the 'hood, and seems content as the Only Spoiled Pooch. But...

kgirl said...

they just had to eat the g-d thin mints, didn't they? really, what's the point now? peanut butter. feh. no wonder they left them.

Mamma said...

I've been known to trip an old lady to protect my girl scout cookies.

They're lucky you only made them go outside.

julia said...

Store them in the freezer. The cookies, not the dogs. GS cookies are much better when frozen.

mm said...

WHAT? And you didn't make them lemonade from "real lemons" ?
sorry, couldn't help but run with the Addams family vein.
Coming to Canada any time soon?
The beast needs HELP!

MotherBumper said...

Ummm... how many types of GGCookies do you have in the States? We have the original sandwich cookies and the thin mints up here and I'll immigrate if you tell me about these other magical sounding offerings. But oh yes, your dog issue - I'm with Julia, and the crisper also works for me (since no salad finds it way in there).

ECR said...

Your dogs have expensive taste. $12 in cookies, down the gullet. At least it was for a good cause.

cooler*doula said...

I think Lana just earned herself the Consumer Power badge... Or possibly the Cookie Connection. Either way - alert the Den Mother immediately...

cooler*doula said...

An no... I think it's the High on Life badge... Yup. That's the one.

Damselfly said...

Ah, dogs. One time as a kid, our boxer chewed up everyone's pillows.

PS: I love that line from the movie!

Elizabeth said...

Oh no, not the Samoas! Those are my favorite GS cookies. Isn't chocolate supposed to be really bad for dogs? Does it make them sick or anything?

Mrs. Chicken said...

This proves that I don't want a dog. That, and the fact that my sister has to pull undigested string from her dog's anus.

I gave you a present on CAC. Come over and see.

Kyla said...

In reference to MB's comment: Canadians only have two kinds of GS cookies? My heart is breaking for them all.

My dog steals apples from the kitchen...but we keep the GS cookies in the freezer. She can't open the freezer. Hehehe.

FENICLE said...

We need a dog trainer!!!! I left my son & husband talk me into getting a puppy this weekend....we had a dog previously....it didn't go real well.

TSM said...

Girl scout cookies...I cringe. Cookie sales this year were avoided at all costs. Because my daughter is the girl scout. I just can't take anymore.

Just to show that I can relate to your story, I'll tell you that I love when our St. Bernard digs through the trash and shreds it all over the floor, but makes sure to have some embedded in the slobber hanging from her mouth so she can smear it on me as she walks by.

Because she loves me.

jen said...

but see, this is exactly why you ARE the friend to dogs everywhere...because you have them in mind, even when it goes south.

and hey, peanut butter is good.

theotherbear said...

Wow, Aussies don't even have 2 types of GS Cookies. I might have to move just for the cookies.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Ack! Your Girl Scout Cookies!?!?! That would cause me to silent scream. At least they left the peanut butter ones.

Redneck Mommy said...

Suddenly, Nixon, The World's Greatest Dog, Ever. doesn't seem so bad. He only scarfed down a bag of M&M peanuts. And he thoughtfully left a handful, just for me.

See, I trained him to share. Who needs a hoity-toity dog trainer when I have such amazing skill at teaching him generosity?

Just yesterday, he left me a little brown package at the front door. He's so thoughtful that way....

Christina said...

What a tragedy! Years ago, we left a box of Thin Mints under a sofa at a friend's house while we went to dinner, and whiel gone her dog opened all of the cookies, but was careful to leave the box and the packaging for us.

Sparky Duck said...

I would so miss the samoas! Oh and have a few stern words with these dogs

Mom101 said...

Actually this does make me feel better about our own ornery, misbehaving critters. I always think of you--really--and how you'd whip them into shape in no time. It's sort of comforting to know that animals will be animals.

Amanda said...

Will you be regaling us with the sotries of their GI distress? Poor you, poor them, lucky me and my hound.Thanks for letting us know it ain;t all sunshine and puppy love.

soleclaw said...

My my! What resourceful dogs you have. I'm jealous...I haven't seen any girl scouts yet and all this talk of cookies is making me hungry for Samoas!

something blue said...

They made a pact with the girl scouts who are looking to sell you a few more boxes.

I'm sure if they could talk they'd tell you that the truth of the matter is that a Girl Scout broke into your house and made it look like they ate the cookies. Couldn't be! Then they would wag their tails and smile.

Jia said...

Girl believe me when I say I know how you feel. My Pug has a stomach of steel. I've seen her tip over the trash can and eat an entire plate (over 100) of frozen cocktail shrimp only to cough up the tails. Plates of brownies, whole tea bags, and her favourite . . . onions. At least your dogs breath smells of cookies and mac n cheese. LOL!

NKYGAL said...

Oh My Gosh... Anything but the Girl Scout Cookies. How tragic. I guess dogs love delicious tasty treats too.....

Pendullum said...

I have to lock my dishwasher...or my dog, takes the cutlery upstairs and decorates the stairs with them....
But when I get home after his revelry... he automatically cowers and goes to his 'time out spot...'(he normally jumps up and down , kinda glad ta see ya, glad ta see ya dance)
and normally I when I see him slink as he has done something... I go around my home and inevitibly find cutlery then I just screammm'Get out of my hoooouuuse!
and with that he slinks outside and will not even
come up the stairs until my heart melts...
and he waits by my side until I pet him and let him know that I forgive him for being a dog... and it was my fault for leaving the dishwasher door open...

Mrs P said...

For everyone who is wondering about our U.S. Girl Scout cookie assortment...
http://www.girlscoutcookiesabc.com/atc/default.asp

My dog prefers to garden hoses...

Kristin said...

They say chocolate is bad for dogs... it is a myth busted by one of my labs... the one who ate 6 boxes of See's candy... box and all, and didn't miss a beat.

We came home, saw the carnage, started looking for the body and there she was, frolicking around with bits of black candy wrapper stuck to her muzzle.

And this is the dog you CANNOT raise your voice around because she will turn into jello and be unable to move.

So, in a nice voice, you have to swear about being a fucking idiot and leaving all those Christmas-wrapped candy boxes on the table...

Pattie said...

Oh no! The cookies...
I just might have cried. Anyhoo, don't fret, Mrs. C...my dog used to do the same kind of stuff. He would eat whole pies, brownies, cookies, and what not. Once he got into the trash....it was such a disaster, we actually took some photographic evidence.
I'd still hire you.

Omar Cruz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Momish said...

But you love them anyway!! Girl Scout cookie stealing and all.

I actually had to put child proof locks on my cabinets because my cat could open them. So, I know how it goes sometimes, believe me!!

kittenpie said...

This is exactly why we can't have plants. OUr cats just can't be trusted.

Her Bad Mother said...

I have to say, I might have done the same thing if confronted with unattended boxes of GG cookies. Could you train me?

carrie said...

Actually, I may have been jumping for joy if they were my dogs.

For that would mean that I didn't eat the boxes of Samoas (which I am now paying for dearly as I try on my summer capri's). Damn girlscouts.

Carrie

sweatpantsmom said...

Oh, for a second I thought you had gotten a hold of a picture of when I broke into our pantry and stole all the Thin Mints...

Ruth Dynamite said...

Could it be that the dogs were doing you a favor? I almost wish (note the "almost") that the cookie sleeves that ended up in my gullet were not available, somehow. Like perhaps eaten by my dog and not me.

But man were they good. Sorry for your cookie loss.

Jess Riley said...

Those dogs have good taste, though. My dog enjoys cat, dog, rabbit, squirrel, and goat turds. I think I'd prefer cookies.

Kerry said...

Like your blog.
Glad I found it.

Kevin Charnas said...

I just told our dogs and they're jealous. They said that it sounds much tastier than the kleenex and fabric they've been eating.

Hey, you know that chocolate is extremely toxic to dogs, right?

Lisa said...

In doggie school, Abbey was the "social butterfly" and definitely not the class smartie. And after reading your post? It makes me especially glad that she wasn't... heehee

Oh, The Joys said...

You're sure it was the dogs and not your late night hubs tring to make it LOOK like the dogs did it? Heh.

Cooooookkkkkiiiiieeeesss!!!!

Crunchy Carpets said...

"But you can kick them in the ass and refuse to look at them for a half an hour while you clean up the mess and then check to see if all the boxes were eaten."

Oh thank christ. every time the dog sneaks a kids toy to chew..this usually happens