Wednesday, June 14, 2006

How far the mighty haven fallen

Oh Dave. Why, Dave, why? For years I've been on your side, in your camp. Even through the late 80's when I questioned if Sammy really was better than you, talent wise, I still loved you. You were the showman. The quintessential frontman. Sammy may have one-upped you in the voice department, but even then I often second-guessed myself. Did he really have the better voice? Were the songs better, more sophisticated than when you fronted the band that made (Oh) Pretty Woman big again? Dancing in the Streets? You were the Ice Cream Man. You were Hot For Teacher. You were 1984. You were Diamond Dave, for Chrissake!

I understand that the past decade and a half have been hard for you. Ever since Skyscraper peaked - which wasn't really Damn Good, but it had meaning for me - and faded away just as quick. The 90's were tough. The new century was tougher. You gained and lost a radio gig. You even got an everyman job.

But did you really have to resort to this?

Oh, Dave. My how the mighty have fallen. Were you pushed? Or did you Jump?

31 comments:

J's Mommy said...

WTF?!?!?!?

Elizabeth said...

Oh.My.GOD! That is quite possibly the worst song I have ever heard! Growing up in the 80s, "Jump" was on the radio all the time, and it was a fun song and all. But it does NOT WORK as a Bluegrass tune!

And what's with the weird feathered hair, and that screeching thing he's doing? Oh, Dave, indeed!

Mommy off the Record said...

What in the hell?

Sad. Sooooo sad.

Kristin said...

Damn!

Domestic Chicky said...

WTF is right. He's lost it for good...

something blue said...

A genuine lounge act but oh so painful. It just doesn't work without the tight pants.

Jenny said...

That, my friend, is a cry for help.

I could not have been more embarrassed if it had been my dad up there.

Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual said...

I dare not click on the link for fear it is the bluegrass version of "Jump" that drove the icepick through my eardrums the first time.
So, so so, sad.
Worse than Axl Rose's plastic surgery ... and that was B.A.D.

It's okay, Sweetie said...

The horror! The horror! I couldn't even watch this all the way through. Why couldn't the record execs bitch slap him before doing this? WHY?

Even J. Leno looked as if he were going to before introducing him. Did you catch that? I feel as thought I've woken from a bad dream.

By the way, shout out to fellow Mass blogger! Whoot woo! Does this weather sux or WHAT?

radioactive girl said...

Wow! That was not so good. I had no idea he was so desperate these days!

mothergoosemouse said...

Dammit, that link is blocked here at work. What the hell is he doing - someone please clue me in...

Mom101 said...

Oh dear god. I could only make it through 1:36 of it. That was just painful.

Mother G: imagine david lee roth, dressed as a soccer dad, singing "Jump" in a country arrangement backed up by a bluegrass band.

And no, that's not a metaphor. That's really what it is.

Carrcakes said...

I can't access the link, I guess my work doesn't deem David work appropriate material. I've missed your posts.

Bobita said...

Nu-uh! Banjo? Fiddle?

Dave, Dave, Dave.

It is usually good...to try something new! But, what's next? The symphony orchestra rendition of I'm Just a Gigolo?

Lisa said...

I don't have sound on my computer but holy crap! I never thought I'd see the day...

mommy on the verge said...

I am so, so, sorry. I thought he actually was going to sing an alright Irish jig there for a moment, which, I wouldn't have minded. BUT,THIS! FOR SHAME!

Kristen said...

I seriously used to love Jump when I was younger. I think I was 5 or so- I used to actually jump whenever he said JUMP! LOL. But yeah, that was some scary stuff right there on the Tonight Show

Blog Antagonist said...

GAK. That was just...weird. I actually like certain kinds of country music, and I thought..."How bad can it be?"

Jesus Christ on rollerskates...that was bad beyond all reckoning.

What's next...Eddie Van Halen playing the Dulcimer? Blasphemy.

Her Bad Mother said...

I saw that. I was frightened. Disturbed. Saddened, even.

Dave, we hardly knew ye.

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

I was like "who the heck is Dave?" so I clicked the link. Still wouldn't have know him if Jay hadn't said his name. Sorry!!!!

mrsmogul said...

wow flip flop mama doens't know who he is?? LOL wow ..anyway he looks weird...like he glued his lips to a smile.

mo-wo said...

Bad for David. Bad for Bluegrass.

And that IS saying something.

Pattie said...

I AM SO GLAD YOU BLOGGED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL WAS GOING TO DO IT MYSELF!!!!

I saw that performance on CNN over here when I was in Switzerland. I was horrified. At first, I thought it was a joke...gee, what happened to him? Maybe he lost his mind.

Heather said...

Oh dear. As someone who has actually seen Van Halen in concert (I was 17, it was cool then, I promise) I have to say Oh dear. I'm all about a diverse range of music and all that and man is there some wicked bluegrass, but that? NO. Absolutely not. He looked like he was having a seizure in his arm with all the finger snapping. I'm off to blast something else to get that sound out of my head.

Ruth Dynamite said...

Oh good God.

Izzy said...

There are not words...

Honestly, I think it's better to have never been famous at all than to go out like that.

Next thing he'll be doing a duet with Zamfir and his plan flute.

Jess said...

um..wow?
That was so odd...and creepy

Christina_the_wench said...

OMG. Just...oh....my....god.
The end is near. I couldn't watch the whole thing. We need an intervention. NOW!

Kevin Charnas said...

oh.my.god. at first (before he started singing)i was thinking, wow...i'm getting old, (we worshipped him in the 80's) because i actually liked the instrumental thing going on (not knowing he was going to sing "JUMP" to it!!!)then...I was like, holy shit. damn it.

MIM said...

NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

julia said...

My EYES! My EARS!! Jesus H. Popsicle sticks, what is that???!

What happened to the ass-less pants? The hair? And when did he start to look like Madame Wayland Flowers??!


That's just 87 kinds of wrong.

That's one way to get a newbie to delurk and leave a comment. I think I need to go lie down now.