Monday, April 17, 2006

The one where I get all sappy...



Julia,

I've been trying for days, weeks really, to write this letter to you. But how do you sum up one year of firsts into a few paragraphs? So I'm going to do the best I can, sort of like what I've been doing for the last 365 days as your Mama. Here goes nothing...

One year ago today I held you in my arms for the first time and, as cliche as it sounds, I fell in love. Hard. For the record, I really was concerned that I wouldn't right away, I was convinced it would take me a while to warm up to you and the idea of being a Mom. Life has a funny way of surprising you and it sure as hell slapped me upside the head with the humor stick. In those first few days we were inseparable, and then those days turned to weeks and weeks to months. Okay, lets face it, for most of your first year of life you hated everyone except me. I guess from your point of view if they didn't have a boob that produced milk then what was the point? You still don't like a lot of people, mainly close relatives (like Grandma, and Pappy, and most of your great aunts and uncles...) but you're getting better and more accepting of people breathing the same air as you. And we're not going to even talk about the months of colic. Baby steps, hon, baby steps.

Speaking of baby steps, you're starting to get the idea that those cute little feet of yours are made for walkin' and you love to walk around when someone holds your hands. This is great fun for you and my future chiropractor thanks you in advance for all the money we will be spending on therapy for my poor, sore back. Oh, speaking of therapy, you learned how to climb the entire flight of stairs just the other day and if you don't give me some advance warning the next time you're about to climb them again then Mama's poor nerves won't be able to take another instance of turning around and seeing you half-way up to the second floor.... Alone... Unassisted... With no one watching your back if you decide that you want to go back down the stairs. I can feel the gray hairs popping out of my head just thinking about it.

You have become a great lover of books lately and this thrills me to no end. I love your books as much as you do, so whenever you bring me a book I am only too happy to sit and read it with you. Well, reading is not really what we do... I try to read the words to you and you want to flip the pages in rapid succession, as quickly as possible. You get so excited to see what's going to happen next, to see what lies behind each page, that you shake like a frigid chihuahua. I'm going to miss that excited look when it goes away, like the other cute idiosyncrasies that you developed and discarded. I should get used to this as you change before my eyes everyday. I'm going to ask you this one time - Stop changing. Please, I'm begging you. I like you this way... Sans attitude, of course. Your mood swings rival a teenager whose first real crush told her that he liked her best friend. Bad example. I really don't want to think of you as a teenager with a crush, it makes me physically ill.

I don't want to think of you getting involved with some boy who will break your heart. It will happen one day, I know that and I'll just have to accept it then, but I don't have to like it. For now, though, I'll share you with Daddy, and that's it. You're my partner in crime, my constant companion. The one person in the world who needs me to help them exist. Bub, I have so much to teach you... Like, its okay to love crummy music. Never let someone else dictate what you should like or dislike. Follow your heart and your head. Dance, even if you stink at it, because people respect reckless abandon even if it looks like an epileptic seizure. And if they don't, screw 'em if they can't take a joke. Make your own trends. Work hard, even if its not the most glamorous of jobs. There is honor in everything that you do well. And, if you love something, never, NEVER, half-ass it. I've got lots more, but I have years to teach you this stuff. And if the last year is any indication, the next 17 will pass in the blink of an eye. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it.

You are my love, my heart, and my soul. You are all of my hopes and dreams. My babaloo, my Chicky Baby. And today you are my one year old daughter. Happy first birthday, Julia. May all my dreams for you come true.

All my love,
Mama

25 comments:

mo-wo said...

Happy birthday CCB! Mama can you believe what you have done? Can YOU? well done.

Kristin said...

What a beautiful letter... happy 1st birthday, Chicky Chicky Baby!

something blue said...

Happy birthday Julia!

It's so obvious that your mom loves you with all her heart and has many valuable lessons in store.

Chaotic Mom said...

This was an aboslutely BEAUTIFUL post! What a lucky, loved daughter you have. And what a lucky mom you are, too! ;)

sunshine scribe said...

Happy birthday Julia. You have one amazing mom who loves you!!

She is going to love reading this awesome letter one day.

Pattie said...

What a funny and heartwarming post. She is a lucky little girl to have such a loving mom. Cute pictures, too!
Oh, and I love her name...beautiful! (I have a Giuliana, so any name that sounds like it, I am biased to)

Gina said...

makes me wanna cry. My boy is just 6 months and I know the next 6 months will fly like these have... what a precious post! Julia is a doll!

HeatherJ said...

Happy Birthday Julia! Such a beautiful letter for a beautiful little girl.

Christina said...

Happy birthday Julia!

I need to go grab some tissues now...

Mom101 said...

Happy birthday Julia, you lucky girl. YOu've got some mama there.

Carrcakes said...

Great advice mom - I too heart reckless abandon. Chicky that's a great shot of you two.

Sidenote: your skin is radiant in that photo. I realize this isn't a beauty blog but care to share your secret?

Blog Antagonist said...

That was a beautiful tribute to your baby girl. It really makes me miss babyhood. They grow up so fast. Enjoy her. She's a doll.

J's Mommy said...

she is beautiful and that is a wonderful letter. one day, when she's older, she'll read it and know what a loving, devoted mom she has. happy 1st birthday chicky baby!!

rhonda said...

Happy, Happy Birthday Julia. You are so sweet!

reluctant housewife said...

Beautiful letter. Beautiful baby. Beautiful mama.

Happy 1st year as a mom!

Mrs. Chicky said...

Thanks everyone... I've passed on your well wishes to Julia and she blew you all a kiss. And then she threw her sippy cup at my computer.

Izzy said...

I loved your letter. Give Miss Chicky Baby a little birthday high five me and tell her this total stranger from Florida thinks she's dang cute :)

Izzy said...

I think I dropped this:

"from"

kvetch blogger said...

Save this beautiful letter. When she is 10 she will love it and think you're amazing. When she is 14 she will roll her eyes and think you are a weirdo. Don't miss that windwow. Then when she's 20 she'll love it again. I wrote a poem for my daughter on her 8th birthday - I wish I had done it every year.

Bad Grandma said...

I'm two days late! But Happy, happy, happiest birthday to your little Chicky Baby!

Such a lovely letter. She's very lucky.

Her Bad Mother said...

Gah. That 'Bad Grandma' birthday wish, that was from me (was unwittingly logged in as Bad Grandma, having been working on providing my mother - WonderBaby's Bad Grandma - with commenting ability.) Woops.

Happy (belated!!!) birthday from Her Bad Mother!

Naomi said...

You have such a beautiful baby, congrads to you both for making it through the first year! I love your letter, brought tears to my eyes!!

something blue said...

I've been wondering how the party went?

Bobita said...

Seriously. Love. This. Post.

How sweet are you?!

Your baby girl is so lucky to have you as her mama!

Ashley said...

that's a great letter!! sentimental but with just enough laughter to stop the tears from making it to your collar! i would give my...laptop? to be able to write like that!!