Thursday, September 14, 2006

Cross my heart, Hope to die, Drive a nail into my forehead

About two months ago I put a moratorium on the purchasing of electronic shrieking toys for Chicky Baby. Along with the number of primary-colored plastic things, the amount of toys that required batteries in my house - that weren't for adult-only activities, if you catch my drift - had reached an all-time, migraine-inducing high. They are everywhere, in every corner of my home, and I just couldn't take one more talking piano or singing Muppet. I promised myself that I would not buy anymore electronic toys for awhile. I had had enough.

So, in the spirit of my woodworking ancestors, I went out and purchased this:

At first Chicky was skeptical. She gave me a look as if to say "What? You expect me to pull this thing? You mean it doesn't move on it's own when you hit a button?"

But then we told her that the position of "Crocodile Hunter" was open and she warmed up to the idea.

And then we bought her a Little Tykes scooter. At the very least she could start a suburban Massachusetts chapter of the Hells Angels. In this picture I'm pretty sure she's trying to make Elmo her bitch.

But her favorite toy continued to be the talking Fridge Farm.

In case you've never seen one of these things, all two of you because it seems almost everyone has this toy of satan, the object is to match the front part of the farm animal to the rear end. If the child does it correctly it sings a happy tune "You made a match, look what you found...". If the child matches, say a duck's head and a horse's body it says something like "You put a duck in front, you put a horse behind, put them together and what do you find? A duck/horse? That's silly."

After hearing this little ditty for the 17 billionth time I decided the words should be different.

"A duck/horse? That's genetically impossible! But we're working on it."

"A cow/pig? That sounds delicious! But don't tell PETA we said that because then millions of vegetarian families will boycott our product."

Because she loves this toy so much I decided to lift the moratorium for one product specifically. This one.

Yes folks, Fridge Phonics. Not only was it a huge hit with Chicky Baby but now the scooter and the wooden alligator have been abandoned in favor of playing the ABC song over and over. And over. And over. I really shot myself in the foot this time. This is my husband's take on it.

Or maybe he was just gas-y. I don't really know. What I do know is if I leave the batteries in it I get a few minutes to myself but I forfeit the right to complain about the noise.

Yep, that about sums it up.


Tomorrow I'll be naming the winners of the Name That Dog Blog contest. The only problem is...


I haven't decided yet.

In my defense, there were so many great suggestions that it's hard to choose. So if you wouldn't mind giving me an additional 2 cents (c'mon, two cents, that won't even buy you a piece of candy these days. But we're not really talking about currency, are we?) and throw your vote in for one of the Titles and Tag Lines below. I narrowed down the field of possibilities to make it easier for everyone. Especially me. I think with all the two cents I'm getting I will go out and buy a new decision-making mechanism for my brain. What do you think one of those would run me? Ten bucks? I wonder if Target carries them.


Dog Gone Blog
Dogs Gone Blog
Sit, Stay, Speak
The Canine Companion
The Dogosphere
End of my Leash
To the Dogs
Wag the Dog


Sit, Stay, Speak
Cookies for Everyone!
Tales and Treats for Dogs and the People who love them

If there were any titles or taglines that you loved and I missed from the last dog post or if there are any others that you've just thought of let me know. Don't forget, gift cards are at stake here, people.


Binky said...

Dog Gone Blog! That's so brilliant I can't even believe someone hasn't snatched it up already! And the tagline should be the tried and true "Sit, Stay, Speak." Good stuff! And this post was great, too. I am one of the two people who's never heard of the talking fridge farm. Tolby needs one of those. Maybe it'll help her learn words other than "dog" and "duck."

motherbumper said...

Thanks for the warning on the talking farm. Bumper just received her first electronic toy (leap frog piano that I "forgot" at my parent's place out East. This is the advice I seek when looking to other moms.

My vote for tag line is:
Cookies for Everyone!
And I really like:
Dogs Gone Blog but Unleased is more arty. Which is better than farty. I'll stop now.

Ruth Dynamite said...

I love those fridge phonics things. So catchy and educational.

Since you'll be mainly talking about dog training issues (right?), then maybe Unleashed is apropos. But I like Dogs Gone Blog, The Dogosphere, Wag the Dog, and End of my Leash, too. Sorry, that's not so helpful. Any one of them would be excellent.

Major Bedhead said...

We have that farm thing. I conveniently lost all the little pieces. The Boo, however, ferreted them out yesterday. Fantaaaaaastic.

I missed out on commenting on the dog blog title. The ones I came up with were:
Flea Collars and Dog Treats
The Kennel
Gone To The Dogs

I like the Sit, Stay, Speak tagline.

Mama of 2 said...

We have the fridge farm and I cringe every time Girlie Girlie plays with it. I know she loves it cause each and every time she hears the song she squeals with delight while I want to poke my eyes out with a dull pencil.

metro mama said...

I like Dog Gone Blog and Sit Stay Speak for the tagline.

Bea said...

I had a close call with the fridge phonics game - I got the one with three slots to make words, but one of the slots was broken (it would say the wrong letter), so I exchanged it for another one that was ALSO broken. Which confirms my theory that Leap Frog products are crap. And, I now learn, really annoying.


My little G funk likes the phonics. She actually knows almost all of her letters, thanks to them and she just turned two. I myself like Unleashed and sit, stay, speak. Thanks so much foor the tips. I think I'm going to sign up for a class ASAP.

MrsFortune said...

I like your takes on the animals better. A cow/pig does sound tasty, no more having to buy two different packages for your meat loaf. I think you're on to something.

I wanted something with "bitches" in the blog title but I like "Dogs Gone Blog" if I had to choose.

moplans said...

Oh the only good thing about the fridge phonics or word whammer is that it has a volume control so it can be loud vs LOUDER

I like the first two - Unleashed - Sit, Stay, Speak

Lisa said...

I like Unleashed -- Sit, Stay, Speak too. Very cool.

Jess Riley said...

I love Chicky Baby's t-shirt in the shot on the scooter!!! Is that "ABCD" in the old-school AC/DC font? LOL!!!

Good luck deciding on a name for the new, how tough! They're all good.

Chaotic Mom said...

I LOVE the phonics toy. It's been good "therapy" for my boys. I now give noisy toys to some of my favorite relatives who thought MY boys were too loud in the past. Now THEIR boys are loud, hahahahahaha (she says with an evil laugh... ). ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL -- this post cracks me up. We have the Word Whammer for Julia -- it's the one that makes three-letter words, and there are certain three-letter words it won't recognize. The first night we got it Dave sat on the kitchen floor infront of the fridge trying to get it to spell out s-e-x. He was bummed it wouldn't. ;)

And Chicky? GORGEOUS! What a cutie!!

Okay, about the dog blog. My favourite title, from your list, is End of My Leash. And I love the Cookies for Everyone! tag. :)

Jenny said...

I like Sit, Stay Speak as the title. And cookies for everyone as the tag.
Good luck!

Vikki said...

When my oldest child turned 1, we had to make a "no battery operated toys in the house" rule. It was the electronic animal piano that barked, quacked or ribbeted songs that put us over the edge. We have been battery and plastic free (for the most part) for the past 4 years. It's very peaceful.

That said...we have the caterpillar version of the pull toy you pictured. That toy on hardwood floors may very well be the death of me.

mo-wo said...

I love the Sit, Stay, Speak for both. It is YOURS and I think You should just buy yourself a really good Shiraz. For the url and persona you might 'abbreviate' as..

SiSta Speak

ps... why is abbreviate such a long word?

Sandra said...

Oh flashbacks of that farm fridge. I hated that bloody thing!

Oh and for your fab new name... I like:
- The dogosphere
- Unleashed
- End of My Leashe
with one of the first two tags

Anonymous said...

My MIL and my brother provide all the noise-making, electronic, sanity-stealing gadgets in our house. Some of them don't even have on/off switches. It's criminal. As the batteries die, I spin a whopping Mommy lie - X is taking a nap.
I'm so very bad.
(Tried to comment yesterday but apparently I need the handicapped button for word verification ... although when I click it it doesn't help me. Sigh.)

Anonymous said...

Ya know....I used to write naughty words with the fridge alphabet looong before the kids even knew what a word was...why? because it made me giggle and pissed of my inlaws...
then dh lectured me on the inappropriateness of it! Heloooo?
If it makes momma feel better!!!

Kristin said...

ACK! The Alphabet Fridge Fuck-With-My-Brain toy!!!


Anonymous said...

I like 'Dog Gone Blog' a lot!! Cute! The tagline I like best, I think, is 'Sit, Stay, Speak!'

I can't wait til this is up and running...I just got a new pup...and an unruly one. I'll be asking all kinds of questions. ;)

Blog Antagonist said...

I am so not sad to have packed all that mind sucking electronic garbage up and trotted it off to Goodwill for some other unsuspecting parent to purchase.

I vote for "The Dogosphere". Great idea.

Radioactive Tori said...

I'm not exactly your target audience since I have no pets, but I LOVE the End of my Leash with the Cookies for everyone. Or Dogs Gone Blog. Really all of them are great, and whatever you choose will be wonderful because it will be you writing!

kittenpie said...

I really like "Unleashed" except for the fact that I'm opposed to dogs in fact being unleashed, at least in public, urban, unfenced areas (which is where I live so, you know, it's my scope and all). So Dogosphere, perhaps?

You already use sit, stay, speak here, so you'd have to think of whether you want to use it in both places or maybe for comments over there. "Cookies for everyone!" is cute.

I'd love to come up with something cute for you myself, but my brain is fried. (plus, I can't even come up with my own clever tag line so, um, yeah.

And yeah, I usually avoid or don't put batteries in the noisy plastic toys. I hadn't seen the fridge ones. But my in-laws all seem bent on giving her that stuff. I'm swearing revenge on my sis-in-law, should she ever have her own children. I will buy them a trumpet and a drum set.

carrie said...

I like "Dog Gone Blog"!!

Oh, that fridge farm, just last night Katie was pressing the song button and running the "loop" between the kitchen, formal living room and dining room and back to the kitchen only to press it each time she ran by -- we were cracking up!!!


Mamacita Tina said...

Honk, boing, woo-woo, ding-dong, all day long. It's a wonder we don't go mad, or are we already there? Do you find yourself dreaming or humming/singing the tunes on those satanic toys?

Heather said...

I think after all the parent blogs I read we're going to have a no noisy toys rule right from the get go. (yeah, you can remind me how long that lasts)

Heather said...

(and I was remiss to not add that Chicky is a gorgeous little kid)

Mom101 said...

Im just catching up on blogs in reverse alphabetical order for a change and am up to Cs. phew! Am I too late to vote for Unleashed? I love it! Perfect!

Meanwhile, I just saw that weird fridge thing for the first time at a friend's last week. It reminds me of that Damien Hirst exhibit where he took real cows and sliced the....


Anonymous said...

Oh the annoying Leap Frog songs. Over and over and over...

The word whammer doesn't even recognize "wow" but it does spell out "gun." Family values!

Anonymous said...

That first picture of Chicky is classic. The expression!!

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