Monday, November 24, 2008

Revelation

Chicky and I were enjoying a rare quiet moment together this morning. We were looking at pictures from my wedding day and she was showing an interest in them she had never displayed before. She was enjoying pointing out everyone she knew when we got to a series of photographs that made her pause.


"Who's that?"

"That's my mom."

"What's her name?"

"Her name was Brenda."

"Oh. Brenda." She let this information sink in for awhile. "Why is she crying?"

"Well, Puss, that's kind of hard to explain."

"I think she's crying because she loves you so much."

As I sat there with my arm around her and my chin on her head, she didn't see the tears forming in my eyes. She won't know for a long time that her sentence hit a tender spot. She won't know for a long time that truer words were never spoken, that she was exactly right. But I didn't realize it at the time the picture was taken.

"Mom, can I watch a show now?"

And as she climbed off the couch to fetch the remote, I knew the moment was gone. Which, for now, was probably a good thing.

29 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

Wow. Just, wow.

I love this post for reasons I cannot properly articulate.

carrie said...

I know it hurts, but that is a beautiful, beautiful photograph.

I think Chicky is right about "because she loves you so much."

ewe are here said...

I love this post because it captures the feelings I get when my Ramekin asks me about pictures of my dad.

Emily said...

You just made me cry. Beautiful, beautiful, photo.

jen said...

oh honey.

motherbumper said...

Chicky is such a smart girl, she must get that from her mom. Thank you for sharing something so private and beautiful.

Heather said...

Ouf. My heart. What an insightful little girl.

Miguelina. said...

What a beautiful photo! Your girl, she's an old soul, that one.

Big hugs, friend.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Such a lovely sweet photo. And, heartbreakingly sad. Hugs to you.

Bobbie Leigh said...

That was a beautiful post and a beautiful story.

kgirl said...

Oh god, our tiny people - they speak so simply, and it can simply break your heart. And then we sit, overcome, contemplating life (and death), and they are just excited that the wonderpets are saving the unicorn today.

Mary G said...

Beautiful girl. A warm and wonderful moment. And I love your tribute to your mom.

Kate said...

Amazing how in one post you have me laughing and the other crying. Now I'm a mess.

I had a similar moment with my son when looking over pictures of my late father.

Patois said...

This is achingly beautiful.

Jess Riley said...

That broke my heart. But it was beautiful.

Major Bedhead said...

Oh, man. What a bittersweet moment.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Probably the most beautiful post I have read in a while. What an amazing picture. And what an amazing daughter you have.

Mags said...

Your post is so heartbreaking and beautiful.

Avalon said...

On top of smart, that kid of yours is incredibly perceptive.

Ashlie- Mommycosm said...

Wow.
You just made my eyes water...and that takes A LOT.
What a great picture and what a perceptive daughter you have.

Anonymous said...

Honestly this is the most touching post I've read in quite awhile and it's made me at a loss for words.

mamatulip said...

That is a beautiful picture.

Bon said...

tears in my eyes. your kid, she sees a lot.

Mrs. Chicken said...

These are hard conversations. Just this summer The Poo realized I "don't have a daddy."

Love to you, and your Chicky has a tender and wise heart, indeed.

xoxox

Not Afraid to Use It said...

Oh wow. What a powerful moment for you. Hugs to you both.

Jozet at Halushki said...

What a beautiful little soul you've been given to take care of. You're doing a wonderful job. And I bet that Brenda whispers words of love to both of you in your dreams.

The holidays are rough around here, too. Many, many hugs.

Daisy said...

Hugs to you. what a sweet and thoughtful little girl you've raised.

courtney said...

It's so hard. 1995 is the year that my mother died. 2003 is the year I got married. Without her. 2008 is the year I had a baby. Without her. And it sucks.

Ray said...

lol the baby is soooo cute....i love what you have done here keep up the good work!