Friday, November 21, 2008

If you are pushing your child around in a forward facing stroller not only are you stunting their emotional development but you're also a sucky parent

Oh for chrissake.

Hey parents! Are you using a forward facing, or "away*" facing stroller to push your young'uns around town? Then you're probably hurting them emotionally! According to the above-linked study, they will grow up to be stressed and anxious and possible end up being social misfits, introverts, possible serial killers or habitual bloggers! Turn them around so they can look at you and talk to you EVERY POSSIBLE WAKING MINUTE of EVERY SINGLE DAY. If you don't do this then you obviously hate your kids.

Okay, not really. I'm sure there was more to the study. But I want to be selfish and somewhat realistic for a moment and say that sometimes? I don't want to talk to my kids. Sometimes I want a couple of minutes of peace. And if I can get that peace by putting my children in a stroller and pushing them around the neighborhood so that they can get some fresh air and take in the world around them and I can get a few precious moments to not talk about Elmo or take a break from cooing and nibbling baby cheeks, then so be it.

Also, I sometimes wear ear buds and listen to my iPod while pushing a stroller. I wonder how much emotional and mental damage I'm doing to my kids by selfishly listening to "Wait, wait! Don't Tell Me."



* And don't you love the use of the word "away"? Away! I'm pushing my children away from me! It really drives home the whole I want to push my children aside point home, doesn't it? No, not forward. Away.

Forward = Progressive, Leading, Propulsive. Away = Absent, Apart, Distant.

I love the spin. Love. It.

36 comments:

catnip said...

Sheesh. Cause looking at scenery and other people is going to damage them. Guess my kid is damaged beyond repair. ;)

mom320 said...

4 out of 5 of mine should be whacked beyong all hope. (#5- six years in romanian orphanage- never saw a stroller.) one is working on her doctorate in london, two is second year law at temple, three is working in music, four is at college and five in hs. how can you show them where the kite is stuck in the tree, or the dog that's chasing the cat when they're looking at YOU?! i always figured they wanted a break from my face as much as i did from theirs. you're right-the spin is too too!

Whirlwind said...

"...they will grow up to be stressed and anxious and possible end up being social misfits, introverts, possible serial killers or habitual bloggers!"

Well at least now I know what they will be when they grow up.

Seriously, what about exposing them to the world around them?

All Things BD said...

Please don't kid yourself. There was NOTHING else to this study. What a spectacular waste of research dollars.

Cause we all know that children will spend upwards of every waking hour simply staring at our faces and being soothed by our voices. They lack for no other stimulation, and staring at and conversing with us is how they learn about the big wide world around them. Puhleeze.

Liza said...

Great, now I can cross this off the list of the 15 seconds here and there that I get to myself along with peeing, sleeping and cooking! :)

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

"...pushing my children away from me!" Unbelievable.

People are stupid. I would think what with the whole facking country circling the drain these folks could find enough real stuff to worry about, like how we're going to afford to push these children out of our house to college.

Mama Snyder said...

Thanks for just ONE MORE confirmation that I really am a terrible parent. (Not that I needed another, thankyouverymuch!)

Seriously? Who sponsors this kind of crap research? What exactly is the goal here?!?

Issas Crazy World said...

Just one more way for us to feel bad about ourselves. Sheesh, these people are insane. I met a woman who believed crap like this though. She couldn't understand why I'd ever put my daughters in a stroller...among other things.

I bottle feed, push my kid "away" in the stroller, encourage them to go outside and play. Dam, I better start saving for therapy now, I guess? Honestly, my daughters talk non-stop. All day long, hell even in their sleep. I must be doing something right. Oh, I know...it's the TV. ;)

crunchy said...

Well don't most strollers ONLY face away anyway...

We had to fart around with ours when Adam and Caity were newborn so we could lay em facing us...we gave up on that the moment they wanted to SIT UP AND SEE THE WORLD..not my face all day long...

Man oh man..

So I grew up all needy and so did a billion british kids because our mom parked us in the 'pram's out ALONE in the yard..to get air!

Julie Pippert said...

WTF?

Oh WTFE.

My kids sat in forward facing. Sometimes they preferred to see the world and its environment.

All this parental fixation is just creepy.

Really.

I swear it trains parents to be helicopter parents and self-absorbed---the ones who hover over their kids even in college.

Emily said...

That is a typical CNN fluff piece on what the study actually was about.

The study was more about childrens' development, specifically reading and communication skills. It showed that when children sat in strollers facing the parent, the parent spoke with them more often and those children were at a much lower risk for developing dyslexia and other reading/speaking disorders. It wasn't about stress at all. It has also been reconfirmed by several other similar studies. And it was only up until a certain age (I believe 18 - 24 months) not forever and ever.

Patois said...

Mine needed to be in "away" ones so that I wasn't blowing smoke in their faces. (Kidding.)

motherbumper said...

Isn't there a better place to spend money on child development research? Geeeez Gigi spent all her time trying to get away from me, I thought I was doing her a service by pointing her in the right direction.

Lynn said...

So THAT'S what's wrong with me!!
I can't wait til the next time my mother calls me so I can let her know just how she screwed me up for life ;)
Glad to see that studies done "across the pond" are just as idiotic as ones done here in the U.S.

Ree said...

Oh mah holy hell. I don't know how my kid hasn't killed someone yet - I mean - seriously. I couldn't breastfeed. I worked full time. I let him watch television. I didn't wear him in a sling. He slept in his own crib. AND I pushed him in a front-facing stroller.

Excuse me while I go apologize to him.

C Sierra said...

What did they have to say about Moms who make their kids walk so they can use the stroller to push their packages, pockebooks and huge Diet Coke forward during the holiday season? I'm down with that study...

Kate said...

Oh god just more things they make you feel guilty about.

So is it wrong that I say "lalalalala can't hear you" when my kids try to talk to me in the car?

Heather said...

Well, my 2 older kids faced "away" and they are both extremely outgoing so I'd hate to see what they would be like if they'd faced me.

Julie (a.k.a. "MomMEE") said...

Does it go both ways? If I turn her around, will she stop talking to me for 5 seconds? Maybe just 3? "Mom, mom, mommy, but mommy, mom, mommy, Mommy!!!!"

Motherhood Uncensored said...

Well I'm stressed by looking at my kid and I'm the mommy.

Pthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Wow. Man, I broke those rules when Baby was about a month old by laying him in the double jog stroller (it reclined)and walking WITH MY iPOD ON.

So THAT'S what's wrong with him. It's all starting to make sense...

Velma said...

Cripes. I guess I should start saving up for bail money now.

Janet Reid said...

Aside from the fact this study sounds witless, how the Heck did they conduct it? Study kids who who were "strolled" incorrectly and monitor their behaviour? How would they control for any of the other gazillion factors?

This sounds like a study designed by a stroller maker to boost sales.

And it sounds like crapola on toast.

And I don't even have loinfruit!

courtney said...

Uhm, that's ridiculous. Most kids older than a year that I know want to be able to look around and see their surroundings and where they're going.

Hannah said...

Both of my kids started screaming uncontrollably when they faced me in the stroller at about four months old. They'd much rather look at the world around them than me - and vice versa. Yeesh.

kgirl said...

really? being pushed around like princesses in a pimped out, cozy ride while I freeze my kishkas off pushing 55 lbs of kids and 25 lbs of stroller through a snowstorm is going to cause THEM harm?

Bloggers said...

That is so stupid. My son loves facing out and it has made him be more open to people. he waves at cars as they go by and at people. When we stop some where he talks to everyone. If he was facing me he would not be able to do that. Plus I think he also get tired of me too and loves seeing new things and talking to new people. we are together way too much.

The Stiletto Mom said...

I've heard a lot of stupid studies but that one sort of takes the cake. I'd love the meet the people who follow all of the guidelines and see just how neurotic their little bundles of joy are from having such stressed out parents. So there.

Redneck Mommy said...

Just one more thing for my children to bitch about on some therapist's couch in the future.

Good to know.

LOL.

Mary G said...

What kids were they testing this on? My grandaughter would only sleep if she could not see me, so facing away was the option of choice.
Who has time for this stuff?

Michelle said...

Finally an explaination as to why my children are so freakin' screwed up! At last! Thank you!!

SciFi Dad said...

"Using that same logic, I could argue that this rock here keeps bears away."

"Hmmm. I would be interested in buying that rock."

"Dad! I just made it up!"

"Name your price, Lisa! I must have that rock!"

"Fine. $5."

Anonymous said...

I'm with Julie, the whole parent fixation thing is getting beyond creepy. So, instead of us wanting independent young adults and helping our children see the world and other crap; we're supposed to have them solely focus on us as much as possible. Which, in turn, it going to make them only focus on us and when they're 25, they'll be unable to live away from home.

And yeah, yet another way to make moms/dads feel like crap. My poor daughter is going to be scarred for life, with her bottle fed, forward facing stroller and yeah, she watches some TV. That's it, she's scarred and I'm going in the worse parents ever hall of fame. :)

Eleanor Q. said...

But you listen to "wait, wait don't tell me!" how bad a parent can you be?

Mama Grouch said...

Thank god we have the internet...the next time there is a sociopath on the loose they can start the search with all of our children.

They should probably focus on those of us that listened to NPR shows while strolling (you weren't the only one - I did about 500 hours of "This American Life").

mommypie said...

It's either that or wear 'em in a sling. Just make sure to take a lot of Motrin because it'll KILL your back.