Tuesday, August 07, 2007

A comment on comments

(If you have a problem with meta blogging then nows the time to click that little X in the upper corner of your browser, because I feel it's time to talk about that most taboo subject in blogland - comments. And if talking about comments isn't your cup of tea, well, buh-bye.)

Let me preface this blather with this statement: I love my readers. I do. Every single one of you, and if you comment then so much the better. Why? Because I heart the comments you leave. I have lovely people who come to my blog and comment on my posts on a regular basis. They write sun dappled words of support and love, words with rainbows and winged ponies shooting out of them, leaving me with that feeling you only get if you wrap yourself in a large, fluffy towel that came straight from the dryer. So many kind, thoughtful, wonderful words that I want to sprinkle on my chocolate ice cream and eat for dessert. Delicious comments.

(I'm completely done with the italics now.)

Coming off an extreme high like Blogher and being thrust into the world of death and grief you were all there for me, tucked away in the comments on my blog. You were there, regardless of the fact that I am the reigning Queen of Drunkenness in the kingdom of Blogher; the artist currently known as Wow, I Didn't Know She Could Drink Like That.

Though I would much rather be known as Man of La Mancha, or even the Demon Barber of Seville, than carry the Mrs. Chicky: Drunk Blogger moniker. But we are who we are.

And, hellooo tangent. How I love me some tangents. Almost as much as I like sparkley things and... Ooh, shiny.

Reality used to be a friend of mine, cause complete control I don't take too kind.

(Hey, you come here for a peak into my brain. Don't shake your head when stuff like this happens. It's like going to a Stones concert but having to sit through Rick Astley's opening set. The two don't go together but someone along the way thought the pair made sense. Okay?)

So, where were we? Comments, right. Things were mentioned at Blogher in various sessions...

(and, yes, I know you're sick of hearing about that Conference that Shall Not Be Named Anymore. But this is not about that. Pinky swear.)

... about comments and commenting. Bottom line: If you want people to come to your blog, you have to comment on other people's blogs. And not only that, but you have to be funny, or thought provoking, or write in the third person. Anything that will make you stand out to the other people perusing the comments section of another bloggers blog (A.B.B. - yo. I'm down wit it.) and make them want to click over to yours. It really is that simple.

For you mathematical-types: Commenting + witticisms + funny + that certain je ne sais quack = buttloads of people flocking to your blog (get it? Like ducks.) all clamoring for your attention.

But it's not that easy, is it? You run all over the blogosphere leaving your stamp on O.B.B.s (Other Bloggers Blogs. Lots of acronyms here. Please try to keep up.) and only a few people follow you home, regardless of all the tasty crumbs you're leaving them.

Enter: Blogger Depression, or, the Nobody Likes Me/Everybody Hates Me/Guess I'll Go Eat Worms syndrome.

It happens. Don't sweat it. It's the ebb and flow of the blog world. Keep commenting and people will eventually come... if you have something relevant to say. And, A-ha! Therein lies the rub. You must be interesting to read because why should someone waste their precious time on your brain dumps? Be interesting and people will be interested, capice? No one cares what you had for lunch.

If you have a strong voice people just like you will come a-calling. You'll find your own group of blog friends. You'll have blog slumber parties and blog pillow fights and someone will wait until you fall asleep and then put your blog bra in the blog freezer. Except maybe you men out there. Probably no pillow fights or frozen bras for you, eh? Although, in blogland you could be male and have a thing for frozen bras. There's plenty of room here for all the freaky deakys.

If people don't come in the thousands to your blog, don't give up (cos you have friends, as a matter of fact just keep that playing that song while you finish reading this.) and for chrissake! Don't blog about how nobody likes you and why, oh why with much hand wringing doesn't anyone like me. I hate that. Turns me off faster than the idea of Tony Soprano in a Speedo.

Now, who the hell am I to be telling you this? Nobody, that's who. I'm just a woman who writes a blog and uses a lot of parenthetical references and poor punctuation in her posts. And that's an important point that you have to remember. We're all just people, just like you. Even Dooce, I've never met her but she seems like a regular gal to me. A regular gal with thousands upon thousands of readers, but still just a gal. A gal that probably hates to be referred to as a gal, but a regular gal nonetheless. I bet she even uses spell check from time to time.

But I'm not done. We still have to tackle the phenomenon of "He/She used to comment all the time and now they don't so I'm not going to visit their blog anymore so there." [stomps foot]

Is there anything more ridiculous than that? Ooh, so and so used to be your blog friend but now they never comment. Boo freaking hoo. I'm very sorry to be so harsh, but this is real life and blogs? Not so much. Unless you've made friends with someone off-blog, through email or through a face to face meetup, I think it's safe to say that they're not really your friend. You may be friendly, you may really like what they have to say and feel a connection with them, but they are not, I repeat ARE NOT, your friend. If you have no desire to meet this person or even talk with this person outside of the comment section of a blog but still consider them to be your BFF then it's time to reconsider life in your parents basement. So if they stop commenting I wouldn't pull the blog equivalent of the oh so very seventh grade act "I caught you holding hands with my crush, you're dead to me" and cut them out of your life. Grow up and gain some perspective.

I'm sure there's more but, frankly, I'm tired. And I have a life. Blogs are important tools for reaching out to others like yourself, but if your comments are running your life it's time to take a second look at what you consider to be the very definition of "life".

This post may not win me any friends but at least I've had my say.


This is your brain:

(Actually, it's Einstein's brain.)


This is your brain on blogs:


(Actually, it's a picture of my kid. It's cute though, don't you think?)


Any questions?

** Inspired by a post that SueBob wrote. In one of those A-ha! moments, I saw a topic that had been kicking around in my head for some time was touched upon by another blogger. If you'd like to know what I and other bloggers said in response to her post go read it for yourself.

Also, something I meant to mention above was the fact that I try very hard to reciprocate comments, especially those thoughtful words of condolence that you left after my grandmother's death. I owe you all a visit and if I haven't been to your site yet know that I'm trying. It's a bit like thank you cards (something I'm not very good at, btw), I owe you all some kind words in return and I'll get there. Some time.

211 comments:

1 – 200 of 211   Newer›   Newest»
mayberry said...

No questions. Just an "amen to that, sister."

binkytown said...

Damn Chicky! Now I think I have a serious case of comment anxiety, trying to think of something funny enough to say that people will want to come and see me.

Is it working? No? Didn't think so.

Lawyer Mama said...

Can I copy & paste this on to my blog? 'Cause keeping up with the blog peoples is exhausting me.

Most. adorable. picture. ever.

And, hey, you're working hard at getting rid of that nicey nice image, aren't you? (See video.)

bubandpie said...

Whoo, way to open that can of worms? Not really, though - just a lot of common sense.

I agree that it's ridiculous to be wounded/pissed off/outraged because someone stops visiting. The blogosphere evolves. The people who comment on my posts now are completely different from the regular commenters six months ago. But if it's been a few months since someone has commented, I am just that much readier to click "Unsubscribe" when I'm working a lot and have to cut back my regular reads. I figure that's my prerogative too. :)

Motherhood Uncensored said...

I am the commenatrix.

Okay. Not really.

But it sounds kind of hot.

Maybe that should be my new thing. Just leave hot sexy comments on peoples' blogs totally unrelated to their posts.

Although nasty comments tend to get a lot of clicks.

Eh. I'll stick with sexy.

You hot sexy mother you.

How's that?

Miguelina. said...

But I thought we were Bloggy BFFs forevah?

Kyla said...

Do you need a drink, hon?

Hahaha. I'm totally kidding.

Well-said. And that is ONE cute kid you've got there. For you mathematical types that is Adorable(squared). I can't do super script in a comment box. Darn.

Two Shews said...

What?!? People can leave comments on my blog?!? Holy jeez. I wasn't upset about it before, but now... thanks a lot.

Great post.

lildb said...

fucking.

brilliant.

and the photo is edible.

jen said...

this is awesome.

and i prefer Mom from La Mancha, but I digress.

mothergoosemouse said...

This post won't win you any friends? On the contrary, it made me love you even more.

Thanks for the dose of sanity.

carrie said...

Things that make you go "hmmmmmmm"!

Oh that face. Katie makes one very similar from time to time.

Carrie

kittenpie said...

Oh my good gravy thanks be that somebody said this. You're right, there are prolly people who will be cranky about it - and may not comment anymore. Hyuck. But not me. Nope, you can't run me off with simple sense. I comment because I luuurrves you.

slouching mom said...

ok i was ready to type some brilliant comment, really i was, but then i saw that face, and that's all i can think about now.

that face.

Susan Getgood said...

I find that I go in phases. When I am really busy I often don't have time to blog as often as I would like, but I'll comment a lot.

I also see a difference in the types of blogs I read. The marketing PR blogs tend to have the conversation in posts. Someone posts an interesting topic, and others post on the same, linking back to the original. Whereas on parent blogs, a large part of the experience is in the comments.

flutter said...

So, wait, if I BFF on OBB and get a case of the NLM and then blog about it, but do so in the third person, will you comment on my blog?

Yes? No? *rubs head*

Rusti said...

I won't be offended it you never make it to my blog - it isn't that interesting to most people anyway :) I'm just glad you accept comments from oddballs like me as I also like the give & take.

I hope you are feeling better and that today is a good day. I know they come in all shapes and sizes, good days and bad days, I hope the good outnumber the bad.

Rusti said...

by the way - LOVED the picture :) thanks for sharing!!

NotAMeanGirl said...

Mrs. Chicky, OMG I think I LURVE you! Thank you for saying all that. I thought I was going starkers when I read that at Red Staple. I din know ANYTHING about comment ettiquite I guess. I think I prefer it that way!

I like comments yes. I want readers. Yes. But I blog for myself. I blog because I want to hold myself accountable for certain things. I know a diary or journal would be sorta the same but ZOMG my handwriting sucks!

NotAMeanGirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blog Antagonist said...

You know...even though I've been blogging a year and a half now, I still find the whole thing very weird. In some ways, it is wonderfully cool and empowering and solidifying. But in other ways its like high school all over again.

But like high school, I've decided to just do my thang the way I do it best and not worry about what everybody else is doing.

I like comments as much as the next person, but I don't want to write for comments. That does not, of course, stop me from being completely bummed when my comments are not as forthcoming as I think they ought to be. Again, weird.

I will say this though...I would rather have a few really thoughtful comments, than 100 "Right on sistah"s. I've said that before, and I still believe that. I think I have awesome commenters.

Then again, maybe that's just my way of reconciling the fact that I will never, ever come close to breaking the 80 comment barrier.

SIGH. Maybe if I show my boobs?

moosh in indy. said...

Mrs. Chicky is having THE BEST WEEK EVER. This post shall be linkwhored out as the all knowing post on comments and comment drama.
This post shall be forever known as the "Comment bitchslap heard 'round the world in a nice nice way."

Mamma said...

After all my whining yesterday, I'm hoping I didn't push you over the edge.

I LOVE the way your brain works--maybe because I recognized the flow all too well.

Julie Pippert said...

Dude.

I can totally get my knickers twisted all round my ankles if I so choose!

So HA!

No, it's true. You have to get out and give out, and you have to keep perspective---expectations, perceptions, and who is a friend versus friendly.

It's a distinction we need to learn, hopefully by age 18 but you never know. Me? I was a late bloomer. I think it was my optimism, kept me thinking YAHOO! We're FRIENDS!

But then I got it. It's true.

Still it doesn't seem quite this simple. It feels like there is one more level that no matter how many bloggers blog on this topic and how much I think about it, there is some indefinable It that happens wrt comments.

You come over to BlogRhet okay? See what the discussion is about comments and more in that sandbox.

Julie
Ravin' Picture Maven

michellesocialmedia said...

OMG. I could totally just kiss that your sweet baby's face off. WHERE DID THE TIME GO? Mine are now 9 and 13 and they think I'm an idiot. Kiss her while she'll let you.

Phoenix said...

Ha. Ha. Ha. Still laughing over here. You make great points...and as much as I hate to be the "you rock" kind of commenter everywhere I go, you completly do.

I guess I'm new to this, but it seems like people take it a bit too seriously. There was what 1,200 people at BlogHer? How can people expect to meet and become friends with everyone? Oh well...I still want to go, even those people have been posting less than stelar things.

Oh, love, love the baby pic. Would make a hreat header.

Treadmillista said...

I don't understand what all the fuss is about. I guess I've never really cared so much about getting a lot of comments, I write for myself with no real hopes of drawing in a huge audience. Though I'm always amazed that people outside of my "inner circle" actually read my blog.

As for leaving comments, well it has to be a pretty good post for me to get out of my reader and click on the actual blog (those of you who don't post full RSS feeds are relegated to me reading only at home since a colleague sits approximately 10 inches from my computer screen at work...and at home I have far less free time), I really don't expect more from my readers either.

Lisa b said...

Witty you want witty?
Damn Mrs Chicky those are high expectations. I just comment to let you know I read what you wrote and I agree.
I try not to think about other people finding me through comments. Am I the only blogger who worries about who can find me not how many readers I can attract?

Einstein's brain shot is a classic.

Mimi aka pz5wjj said...

LMAO! Too true on so many counts!

I don't normally comment on most blogs I read -- just a few. And not always on every post by every blogger I read. I guess I don't have anything worth saying sometimes.

I guess we all blog for different reasons. I don't do it to get comments or to drive people to my blog or to earn money... I do it to keep my family up to date on our goings on and occasionally add a few tidbits here and there...

If someone visits my blog and likes what I say, great! I'll go and check them out too!

I'm blogging for me. Not for comments.

The Chick said...

I felt compelled to comment. How could I not? Even though I don't necessarily think I'm a very clever commenter or even a very clever blogger for that matter. But I do like any references to obscure PM Dawn songs. And then there are the tangents, of course....oh, the tagents.....Yours is one of my fave blogs. Had to drop that one. I don't even read the Dooce. I swear! Don't even know her! But there was this one time, back at BlogHer.....

kgirl said...

word to her mother.

mamatulip said...

I love how you littered this post with 80s songs.

ali said...

great post, mrs. chicky.

i guess my problem is that i'm NOT funny or witty...damnit to hell. so, you're saying unless i pull a bossy, i'll never have comments??!!

Magpie said...

Oof. I feel like you've thrown down a gauntlet or something. Witty? Charming? Oh no!

Christina said...

So you're saying we're not really friends?

;)

I used to stress a lot more about comments, worrying about who was and wasn't coming to read my blog, and feeling the need to religiously read the blogs of every commenter.

But having a second child has shown me I don't have time for that. I now read those blogs I find interesting (including nearly always checking out new commenter blogs at least a few times), comment when I feel I have something to add to the conversation, and try not to stress out about how many comments I get.

Of course I want more readers, but playing some comment game all the time to get them isn't my thing.

Great post!

Mrs. Chicky said...

Ali - You are witty and funny, dammit!

Christina - I consider you my bud, especially since I've seen your breastesess. What? She was feeding Mira.

Everyone else - Comments should not be just for generating readership. I did not mean to imply that. But it is one good way to get readers. Must admit that.

motherbumper said...

Woah - some of those links were completely and totally fun dude.

I sometimes say Hi I was here but most of the time I read a blog in many different trips to the same post before I get a chance to comment so sometimes I forget.

And "Turns me off faster than the idea of Tony Soprano in a Speedo." - is it a bad thing to be turned on by that idea (I *heart* Tony).

Whirlwind said...

You mean you all not my BFFers?

This post was great, I don't always have many interesting things to ay, but I still keep at it, even with my 3 commenter's (if I'm lucky...) because, hey it's my blog and who cares if no one reads it.

Sarah said...

Dude. I'm trying to be quick and oh so witty for this comment...but I can't.

So I second exactly what you commented on SueBob's blog.

Major Bedhead said...

You are, like, The Queen Of The Links. You need a crown.


Maybe I'm screwed up (shaddup) but I don't get all worked up over comments. I love it when I get a lot but if I don't, I don't really worry too much. Sure, if it's something I've really worked on and poured my heart into, I might get a little bit of the what-the-fucks, but it's not the end of my world. I didn't start a blog to become popular, which is probably a good thing.

Major Bedhead said...

And, dood, Chicky Baby looks like a really tiny, really pissed off Winston Churchill. All she needs is a bowler and a cigar.

Willowtree said...

Well, I guess you could leave witty comments everywhere in the hopes that people will come here. Or you could just get a friend to post a picture of a flying leprechaun grabbing your breast. It got me here.

I have to say though, there is a certain sense of loss when someone who used to comment all the time no longer does. I find it easiest just to assume they are dead.

Mom101 said...

"Now, who the hell am I to be telling you this?"

Only like the best commenter ever, you hypocrite. Didn't I give you an nomination for an award for that once or something? I stand by that. When you don't comment it is noticably absent because your comments are so wonderful. Is that a reason to stop reading you? Pshaw. I read what I like.

I do love you when you get feisty and make sense all at once. More, please.

gingajoy said...

HOORAH! HOORAH HOORAH!



(hoorah).

Of course. I am only leaving this comment because you just left one at my place. Also because Liz (above) said Go Read Her Awesomeness's Post Today, and Ye Shall LOVE IT.

Feisty and wise. Nice combo.

SUEB0B said...

I am an inspiration? Aw, getting a little teary-eyed. I feel like Jaime Escalante or something.

JaniceNW said...

Your child was enough to make laugh on a pretty bad day! That's all I ask. I hope you're doing ok. I'm sorry for your loss and you and family are in my prayers.

Mommy off the Record said...

It is impossible to not comment on a post about comments. Just impossible.

As for saying something brilliant in my comment that will make you or anyone else want to come visit my blog, well, that's another story.

Lara said...

dood, i can't believe julia called your beautiful girl a churchill lookalike. that is sooo harsh.

it took me a long time, but i've finally gotten to the point when i can be rational about my comment numbers. i like to keep track of them, because it's interesting to me to see what people have the most to say about, or what days of the week tend to get the most folks commenting, or things like that. but i know in my own mind that i don't stress them the way i used to.

as for people no longer commenting, i've honestly never felt offended or insulted by that - never wanted to stop reading them simply because of it. i have, however, become concerned about bloggers because of a lack of comments if they were very regular about commenting. combined with a drop in their own posting, and i become worried. i'm a worrywart like that and i just like knowing folks are okay. :)

sweatpantsmom said...

What? You have to be funny and witty in comments? Damn. No wonder only my podiatrist reads my blog.

(I've been away and haven't read you for awhile, but just the one mention of Rick Astley and I'm back here, for good. Together Forever...)

~JJ! said...

Well, the clips in there are fantastic. PM Dawn and Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. Wonderful...

I for one, love the way you write and think and blog.

That's why I come here..and I don't get to comment all the time, but I know you get it. Reality.

(You were the drunken blogger ant BlogHer?) Damn. I wish I was there.

something blue said...

Oh sweetie you can't be the drunk blogger because someone already laid claim to that title. You know, the girl who dowsed the table with wine and cried until the waiter brought her more. Now that girl should be embarrassed.

I should lose the guilt that I don't comment nearly enough because I'm sure that no cares if I don't mess up their purrty blogs.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I have serious comment anxiety, now, but here goes...

Great post! I've been working on a slightly similar post, but I think you hit it on the head!

I love meta-bloggy posts, 'cause I'm a giant blog geek and like to talk blog.

Pinks & Blues Girls said...

GREAT POST!!

GREAT GREAT GREAT!

I was so upset we couldn't make the BlogHer conference in Chicago! My sister and I were saying we should try and have a NE Blog Conference... how cool would that be to meet everyone!?

Love it.

And I know what you mean about the comments... I actually get bummed (because I check all day along) if I haven't gotten new comments within like a 5 minute block! LOL! My husband thinks it's hilarious...

Ahh... the blog world!

- Audrey
Pinks & Blues Girls

Julie said...

Shit! Now I feel all this pressure of writing something funny to write...just so you'll come visit Ms. Crafty Wanna-Be (see...I used 3rd person). I'll have to wrack my brain (certainly not Einstein's) so that I won't just write about what I had for dinner last night (which by the way was Chili's).

Take care and will post again!

Julie

Her Bad Mother said...

I luuuuurve you. AND I consider you a friend. But only because I touched your boobies, not because you're, like, witty or sweet or anything like that.

GRAY MATTER MATTERS said...

This is sort of like the cereal box with a picture of a kid with a cereal box with the kid, with a cereal box with the kid.

A comment commenting about comments.

My head hurts.

Avalon said...

Does "love that picture" count as a real comment?

Binky said...

I'd never x out of one of your meta blogging posts. Look what I would miss! I think I'm pretty removed from any commenting insecurity because I tend only to comment on a specific list of blogs and have accepted the fact that not opening myself up more is probably what's limiting the audience for my own blog. And despite my self-deprecating one liners about my four readers, I'm okay with that. For me, blogging is first and foremost about writing--but the community is the icing on that cake that keeps me stuffing my face.

Matthew said...

I went to a Blogger Party in LA a couple of months ago (and I met SueBob there, btw) and someone who didn't blog asked me how you get people to read your blog and I told her to comment like crazy. And perhaps BE a little crazy. People seem to like that.

Also, thanks for plugging "Nobody cares what you had for lunch" because my blog is profiled in it. (I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Mighty Girl is my cousin. Pure coincidence.)

But I agree, I do love me some comments. :)

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

Hey! I actually like Rick Astley!

EE said...

Great post!
I got nuthin' witty...

Mommin' It Up! said...

Ok, this is the FIRST TIME I have ever read your blog! And THIS post being the first post I have ever read, I'm a little paranoid about this comment. But I'm sure as hell leaving one! Because I'm scared of you. And I'm afraid you will know I've been here even if I don't comment. And that you might come after me.
But...I do love a good rant, so I'll be back for more!

Hannah said...

Whew. Two thoughts: I am a little frightened about the pressure to be witty... sometimes I just want to say "hey, I liked what you wrote" or "that was a neat turn of phrase". Or if the post is particularly personal, or affects me in some way, I like to say "thanks".

And, I don't remove people from my link list if they don't comment. I link to blogs - like yours - that I find enjoyable to read regularly. If the blog isn't updated for a month or more, I'll take the link out.

Interesting post (see, I'm complimenting you!)

Katie said...

Well said! When I started my own blog, that's when I delurked and actually began commenting on other people's blogs because I realized just how nice it is to get a comment. It's like getting a sticker on your homework, ya?

Kila said...

That picture of your kiddo just made my day right again. :)

Loved your post to Dove. I hate when those water-collecting covers drip old, COLD water on me, or on my kiddos, who shriek as if I just branded them, and look at me as if I've just broken a level of trust.

And, very sorry for the loss of your Grandma. That's a tough loss. I still have one I'm very thankful for. Just think, someday we'll be the Grandma holding the family together. Which means I better work on my baking skills.

Rock the Cradle said...

Can I kiss you?

There. Is that provocative enough?

But seriously. Fabulous rant. I had to comment, even though I'll be buried under the 60 so other comments that will sit on top of this one.

I comment. Therefore I am.

Filtering Life said...

Preach on sister lady. Can you copy and paste your whole post into the comment section of "said whining bloggers".

That was brilliant on so many levels and so so so true.

Going off to the land of Wittydom to noodle away some clever comments as to win friends and influence people.

BOSSY said...

Aw fer chrissake Cheeky, not everyone has to comment in the third peron.

As a matter of fact, Bossy would warn against the habit that has turned more potential readers off than the idea of dog doo on the shoe.

Of course what does Bossy care, because she's all the rage with ventriloquists. Fer chrissake.

Oh, The Joys said...

Correction: She shall heretofore be known as Mrs. Licky of Licky, Licky Baby.

painted maypole said...

catching up with you after being out of the country - I laughed a bunch, of course, and cried a bit. Hope the funeral has given you that closure - but what a beautiful post you wrote about your grandmother's death. and I LOVED the blogher photos - fun to see some of the gals I read! Thanks for posting them!

kerrianne said...

Is it just me or does Einstein's brain look a little...cluttered?

(Big fan of the meta conversations.)

Just another manic mommy said...

Don't know if I'm more surprised that you found the words to "go eat worms" online or that Rick Astley's website states that his one hit wonder "is regarded in the music industry as being one of the best pop songs in music history".

I thought the only real question was where'd the white British guy get the cool American black guy's voice?.

Manic Mommy is confused (Is that right? Must work on third person-thing).

Damselfly said...

I am not the best at commenting, but I like to read your blog.

I will never be the popular blogger, but I still like to blog. Just for fun.

And that Chicky is sooo cute!

ktjrdn said...

I've never commented before. In fact, I've never been here before. And I really don't have anything to say. Especially not something witty, but I'm finally making my way through my stack of business cards I got at blogHer, and apparently we met, because I have a card with that beuatiful babies scrunched up face on it sitting right here. Just wanted to say hi. And I am not trolling for readers, just visiting everyone I met.

Maybe this wasn't the post I should do it on though ;)

dana said...

I reply to every comment on my blog and make an effort to visit every blog who visits me. It's just common courtesy, in my opinion. Granted I don't have a million comments to respond to, so it's very easy for me now.

I'd like to think that I'll still be able to do it even if I "become big". But who knows?

If someone I read (and comment on their blogs) doesn't comment on my blog, I don't sweat it. Because, by not commenting, they kind of make that job of responding a heck of a lot easier!

But I do love comments like any other blogger. It's just not something I get bent out of shape about.

Queeny said...

That was some huge mouthf...earfu...eyeful -- but insightful just the same.

Momish said...

Right on sistah! (just kidding BA!)

Seriously, great post about getting over it already. Comments are great, but never were a driving factor for writing my posts. One look at my blog comments and you would know I am not lying. They (or lack of them) also don't dictate who I chose to read.

And, I have to say, you are right on with the advice about being witty, because I am going to click over to Two Shews' blog right after this.

P.S. When I saw the picture of the brain I was immediately pissed off and thought "She stole the photo of my brain!" But then I saw it was Einstein's and it all made sense. The resemblance is remarkable. I stand corrected.

Trenting said...

I love comments, I like to know what people are thinking, not about my blog sometimes, but in general..

Alley Cat said...

Holy Crap! This is the first time I've visit your blog and feel like I've been sent to blog boot camp. I'm gonna go eat a bag of potato chips now, just to ease the pain a little.

Lisa said...

Honestly, the "I didn't think Mrs CHicky could drink like that" moniker makes we want to beg you to move to my neck of the woods... For selfish reason.... I'd be begging you to participate in the Wednesday night beer babe bonanza. (A bunch of us moms go to a dive, drink and then shut the place down.) And although the beer babes are an absolute blast, you'd be the life of the party!

As for the comments thing... I have NO COMMENT. heheee

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Well said. I kind of take exception to that book you referenced, though. I do care what people eat for lunch - I like reading (and writing) about the mundane which is why my little blog is, well, little.

Most of my commenters are little blogs too and I think that's okay.

yh said...

Love the post.... and since when can't I be upset when someone doesn't constantly put their life on hold to comment on my blog. Afterall, what's their life compared to my blog?!!??! (just kidding, really... maybe.. no really!)

I love reading comments too. And I look forward to hearing what people have to say about what I've said.... or what I'm about to say. You're all psychic, right? :)

Looking forward to reading the next post. :)

jan said...

Great post. Now the pressure is on to leave a funny comment.

A giraffe, a lesbian and a priest walked into a bar. The bartender said, "What is this a joke?"

Smiling Mom said...

Fantastic post!

Actually this just occurred to me a few weeks ago... Why do others who started at about the same time as me have so many more comments? Oh... they ACTUALLY leave comments on other people's blogs...

Often I'm slow on the uptake...

Carol said...

I guess that means that offering chocolate to people who leave comments indicates stuck-upp-ed-ness? Damn, because really, I'll do anything for comments. Except advertise. I won't advertise -- EVEN for comments. EVEN for an i-love-you-you-are-the-best-blogger-in-the-'osphere comment.

Cute blog, by the way. And I'm guessing here, but I have a feeling you hate the word "cute." Yes?

Narly blog, dude-ette! You go.

Carol

Carol said...

Oh yeah, and I meant to add: you get 85 comments on your post about how comments shouldn't be all that important! BRILLIANT!

Carol

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Comments are my heroin. Simple as that. I practically swoon when someone new comments; if it isn't someone I've read before, I immediately add them to Google Reader and try to keep up with them. And, I did the whole "comment everywhere you can" and it worked! OK, to put things in perspective, if I get 10 comments, I practically wet myself in excitement; we aren't talking about 80+, Miss Popular ;)

But, this month has been H.A.R.D. I'm so behind in reading blogs, it is stressing me out. I have no time to write or comment, and so I worry I'm losing the few people who did come and read. But, then I remind myself of why I started a blog (to keep my brain from turning to mush), and try to keep things in perspective. Plus, it isn't really working---my brain is still mush.

Elizabeth said...

I'm still shaking my head over the sad, sad website that is Rick Astley's. His forum has 317 registered members but zero posts on zero topics. Just sad.

Reading this post and clicking all those links took me right back to freshman year of college! PM Dawn, Kate Bush! Thanks for those memories. Can I get a lukewarm cup of keg beer with those?

I'm so sorry that I wasn't here reading, I didn't know about your Grandma. My sincerest condolences, dear. I saw you briefly on the Thursday night of BlogHer, standing outside the Whiskey Bar, and then just for a few minutes in the hotel here and there. I wish we had gotten a chance to say a proper hello to each other!

I've been reading your blog since, well, forever, and I do try to comment. I hope you haven't felt bad that I haven't commented here, just like I try not to feel bad when people come and go in my comments. It's the natural flow of things, like my travelling mate GingaJoy explained to me on the train. I still think of you as a friend anyway, you know :)

Redneck Mommy said...

I listened to you hurl...we're friends...regardless if you get your ass on over to my site and drop bits of sugary goodness or not.

Also, I've touched your boobies.

Now you will always be mine.

Belle-ah said...

Cool, I get to be #90 on the comments page...but since I haven't been to your little spot in blogland before I guess this is #1 for me...I am much better being at #1 anyway. (((hugs)))

Sandra said...

Thanks for writing this girlfriend.

I almost stopped blogging (more than once) over commenting. I just can't read and comment on blogs every day. I want to. I do. But there are not enough hours.

Yet I felt so guilty. I still needed to write and loved getting comments but I couldn't reciprocate ... it felt weird and stressful. So I kept reading but rarely commented.

Then I finally let it go and know that if someone stops reading me 'cause I can only comment once a week then what I wrote couldn't have been interesting in the first place.

Velma said...

So true, all of it. I myself have become a comment ghost this summer, someone who used to comment regularly on many blogs and then just got overloaded with the demands of my summer schedule. I hope people don't take it personally, and I plan to get back up to speed, but such is life, right? And yes, my own traffic has slowed down tremendously, but what the heck - it's only a blog, yeah? Nothing compared to what you've been going through, BTW - this is the first chance I've had to catch up on my favorite blogs in weeks, so I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

tiffany said...

i'm just gald that i wasn't the drunkest person in chicago that weekend. i thought i gave myself away when i ended up puking out of my nose in a bathroom at navy pier, but now i find out you have the honor?
sweeeeet.

Heather B. said...

I think it's harder for newer bloggers to grasp the concept of commenting something other than "OMG!!11!!! I LOVE YOU" rather than leaving something insightful and possibly something funny or witty. And then people - mostly women, I've noticed - get all upset and competitive when they don't get 47 comments per post. Perhaps because you didn't leave a thoughtful comment or perhaps because blogging ebs and flows and it's the middle of August and perhaps others are enjoying the out of doors as opposed to sitting at their stupid desks leaving long ass comments? Hmm? How about that?

(this comment was long, boring and totally not witty. I love being contradictory)

OMSH said...

This -- "...it's time to reconsider life in your parents basement. " ??

I just wet myself.
Not because I live in my parents' basement, but because ...

I have no idea why.
It was funny, that's why.

Heather said...

I've been blogging for over three years. There've been times when people thought I was the ant's pants and I received loads of comments on every single post and there have been times when I received only a few.

I try to only comment when I am inspired by a post -- whether it be something funny, or poignant, or sad, or a keen observation, etc.

I don't comment so that my blog will get more traffic nor do I write to gain popularity. I just write what I am feeling at the time, in comments and in posts, and it's obviously worked out okay for me.

I often post anonymously at other blogs, too, partly because it takes the pressure off of readers to comment simply because they know it is me.

Now, I pink puffy heart commenters! But I don't get my panties in a wad when someone doesn't comment.

It seems like it would just take a lot of the fun out of blogging to get so worked up over what essentially amounts to a popularity contest.

Also, I met two of my closest friends via my blog. They are TRULY friends. Most of my readers though? I would classify as acquaintances or strangers.

This was a great post. Now, tell us how you REALLY feel! Don't hold back ;-)

Arwen said...

Did you mention if it helps that you post more than once a month? That's my problem, I used actually post.
I lurk like a freaky chick in a dark alley but I think noone visits me anymore because, well, I am a lazy freaky chick lurking in the corners of the blogosphere, I don't comment very often. I am like a blogging voyeur. I am not sure what level of pathetic that is...and I forget to post for weeks at a time.

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