Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Oh, happy day

You know that sick thing I've had going on for, oh, a month or so? Otherwise known as "The phlegm that would not die", "The phlegm that ate my cat", or the critically acclaimed "Arthur 2: Phlegm on the rocks"? It's finally starting to clear up. Hurrah. The sick is still very much there but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. Or that could be the sun reflecting off a phlegm ball. I can't be sure.

But it seems to be going away and I'm finally getting better. Better. Do you know what happens when things start to take a turn for the better here at Chateau de Chicky?

Dah dah duuuummm.



What's the saying? Sick as a... cat? Hmmm.

Chicky has caught my sickness. Please divert your eyes from the mismatched pajamas and the 59 cent socks. Do you really think I was going to fight with a sick toddler for the sake of fashion?

But wasn't it nice of Jabba the Cat to keep Chicky company while she's suffering through coughing, sneezing, fever, stuffy head, and post nasal shitty attitude? Nina, The Wonder Lump, was entirely covered in snotty tissues after this picture was taken. Poor cat, she takes entirely too much abuse and keeps coming back for more. That's either love or mental illness. I knew I should have taken her to the vet when she started walking into walls.

And what fun it is to keep a sick whirling dervish (read: crazy ass toddler) quiet because it's FOR HER OWN FREAKING GOOD. I'm not even bothering with cough suppressants, instead I'm going with the only thing that works. Elmo. Lots of Elmo. I'm losing IQ points but Chicky is thrilled.

Ooh, the Hokey Pokey! Good times, good times.

Elmo loves you.

Great, but can he make me a gin and tonic?

Chicky wouldn't sleep last night. I don't know about you, but when I'm sick all I want to do is sleep. Gots to help the bod heal and all that, but toddlers apparently don't abide by these same principles. Every time she coughed it woke her and freaked her out so eventually, at about midnight after 15 minutes of screaming, hitting and "Mommymommymommymommy Nononononono!! Mommymommymommyyyyyyyyy!" (and that doesn't include the hour I spent with her in her bedroom letting her doze on my chest) Mr. C brought Chicky to bed with us. Now that was fun. I hope we can do that again real soon.

For anyone who has "slept" with a toddler in the same bed you know that I use that term loosely. One does not "sleep" when a toddler, especially a sick one, is in bed with you. One gets absolutely no "sleep" thus forcing them to be extremely "tired" the next day and over use "finger quotes".

Shit. The Elmo DVD just ended.

Elmo Elmo Elmo ELMOELMOELMO!!! More Elmo! More more more Elmo! Elmo Elmo Elmo Elmo ELMOELMOELMO!!!

(Translation: I'd like to watch some more of that little furry, red monster, you stupid wench.)

The only thing that made her happy last night was after Mr. C had brought her to our bed. I had finally convinced her to put her head down on the pillow and she let her hand wander along the bed and under the covers. She touched my shoulder and then down to my belly button.

"Mommy nekkid!"

Usually it's the cutest thing when I take off Chicky's shirt and she yells "I nekkid!" But is it funny at 12:30 in the morning when your toddler discovers that you sleep in the buff?

Why, yes. Yes it is.

Spontaneous fits of laughter after midnight do not help your toddler into ol' Slumberland, however, and she was wide awake after that. Chicky was shuttled up to her own room sometime after 1am, when I was finally sick of having my nose beeped and my nipples pinched (I can get that any other night of the week, when Mr. C is feeling frisky), where she slept until just before 7am. That was when she woke up crying softly into her blanket, heralding the beginning of a bright, shiny day.

Any suggestions for what to do with a sick toddler? Because I did a Google search and I found it's frowned upon to chuck one into a dumpster when you're tired of the whining.

34 comments:

mayberry said...

Put that Elmo on continuous loop, leave the cat in charge, and take a nap!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Omigod, you freakin crack me up! I think you need some wine--hold the "h". Lots of it.

Magpie said...

Gin, more gin. And I agree - one does not "sleep" with a toddler. I swear, mine makes 360 degree turns every half hour. Oof.

Christina said...

TV and lots of it. Babyproof the room, make her a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor, set the DVD on autorepeat, and take a nap on the couch. That's what works for me.

Wendy said...

I will tell you what I do with my sick children, but I make no guarantees that it will work for yours.

I put a regular pillow under their crib mattress and then jack them up on cough medicine. It helps with the cough not waking them and the slight elevation helps with the dripping nose.

As for what to do with them during the day, throw some cheerios on the floor, turn on the TV to whatever the hell they want and snuggle up with your computer. Okay that is what I do everyday, but I am sure it will work for sick kids, too.

Good Luck.

Avalon said...

Maybe a little nose beeping and nipple pinching will fix her right up? Other than that, I'm all out of the helpful advice.

Izzy said...

Glad you're starting to feel better. this might be coming a little late but did you try Mucinex? I had a similar thing about 6 months ago and I would have sold a kidney to make sure I had enough in the house.

MotherBumper said...

Arthur 2: Phlegm on the rocks - classic.

Dvds and tv were our only saving grace. We were sick so long I stopped blogging about it. It had become a part of our lives. An unwanted part of our lives. I really hope that Chicky feels better soon and I hope it makes you feel a bit better to know that toddlers seem to heal faster than us adult folk. I don't get the no-sleep thing either, I'd trade my bottle of gin for a good night sleep.

Mimi said...

Your night sounds just like my night! My youngest was up all night with a stuffy nose, cough thing and that means I was up all night -- in his bed, he'd fall asleep, I'd get back in my bed, he'd wake up. I finally brought him to bed with us at 4:30 foolishly thinking I could pretend to sleep.

All I heard was "Mommy, what's that?" "Mommy, is that Daddy?" "Mommy, we get up now?" "Mommy, I wanna watch TV" etc... over and over! And when he wasn't talking, he had fingers in my nose and mouth, feet on my legs, elbows in my boobs...

geesh...

I hear you!

ewe are here said...

I~'m really sorry Chicky got your bug, but at the same time I'm laughing at this post.

Elmo really should mix drinks for mommies. Really.

Oh, The Joys said...

Poor little Chicky. I hope she feels better soon.

Lawyer Mama said...

Benadryl and a nice looooong nap. For both of you. And Elmo. Dear God, don't forget Elmo!

Em said...

Always good to see the light at the end of the phlegm tunnel. Not so good when if your kid is falling into the phlegm darkness at the same time. Hope she feels better soon!

mommiebear2 said...

lol - Chucking them into the dumpster usually pops into my head first when one of mine is sick. ;)

Major Bedhead said...

drugs. For both of you.

If I want Boo to be quiet for any appreciable time, I give her a cannister of Play Doh, stick her in her high chair and put on The Upside Down Show (thank the friggin' gods for DVR - I swear, I would DIE otherwise. DIE.)

Jen Magnuson said...

How about Benadryl and a gin and tonic? Due to an influx of toddlers, I haven't slept nekkid in a loooong time. Hope your kiddo feels better!

BOSSY said...

Ah yes, Bossy has spent many a night NOT sleeping with her kids. Too funny. In a completely unfunny way.

Jess Riley said...

How about putting old Dudley Moore movies on a loop?

You crack me up. Hope Lil Chicky is back to fine soon!!

Amber said...

Codene, lots of codene. I'm sure it must be legal in other countries.

At the beginning of the year, I survived seven consecutive weeks of illness. Yes, that would be SEVEN. I'm with you. I can't figure out why they don't want to sleep when that is all we need to do.

lildb said...

it's all true. every last word.

and I think my brain crumbled to bits (what was left of it) the last time my kid was ill, from watching the upside down show for the 8,932nd time. action fingers -- poke mommy's eyeballs out! for the love of god!

Blog Antagonist said...

I second the Benadryl.

Mama Drama Jenny said...

Benadryl. It saved my life. And DVD's that run on a loop.

Mrs. Chicken said...

Vitamin B, woman. Break out the Benedryl. It dries up the snot and knocks them out.

That, and lots of bad for you Disney movies.

cape buffalo said...

Mary Poppins. The movie, not the person although I'm sure you woouldn't mind a nanny just about now. Tea and shortbread cookies for you both.

If that doesn't work, do you think you could rig up a saddle for the dogs and just leave them to their own devices?

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I don't understand why toddlers need so much room when they sleep. You get kicked and wind up on the edge of the king sized bed. They are pint sized so what's the deal?

wayabetty said...

Oh, poor baby! I hope she feels better very soon for Mommy's sake!

Mommy off the Record said...

Not much advice here. I use Elmo DVDs to keep the kid happy too. We have a growing collection.

I hope little chicky feels better soon and you get more rest tonight!

Amanda said...

How I wish I could sleep in the nude! We have only two rooms and two kids (four at weekends), so little one gets to sleep in our room. Now thanks to hubby, the cot sides are down, so she can crawl in the middle whenever she wants!.

Grump.

Roll on the completeion of that third room!

Until then, I hope you and Chicky are both fully better real soon!

jen said...

the best remedy i can think of is a babysitter and a trip to the pub.

hang in there, sister love.

dodo said...

you seem to have my cat on your sofa!

HerImperialMajesty said...

i have to say if i ever see the episode of Charlie and Lola where Lola is sick and Charlie has to keep her occupied again, it will be too soon by a bazillion light years...

Chaaarrllllieeeee, i'm REALLY everso not well.

first time i thought it was cute.
but NOT any more

chip up lovey.

moosh in indy. said...

Tin foil over the window and fake like it's night all the time until they give in and act like reclusive teenagers.

Nancy said...

Damn, I was gonna suggest the dumpster and all... ;-)

Sorry that Chicky is still feeling under the weather. I agree with Mayberry, maybe you can get Jabba the cat to babysit for awhile so you can take a break?

Redneck Mommy said...

You sleep in the buff?

And you are just now telling me this?

My husband is going to want to crash our room for sure now.