Sunday, April 08, 2007

Yeah, it's about poop. You wanna make something of it?

Chicky, as most kids her age, is fascinated by bodily functions of all sorts. Burping, farting, and pooping are all things that should be, in her mind, announced for all to share. Not just announced, but celebrated. Heralded. Shouted from the rooftops.

"I burp," says my child in a quiet post office full of stressed customers. "I burp," she says again, more emphatically, as she points to her mouth. "I burp, I burp, I BURP."

(Did you catch that, Ma? I burped. Jeez.)

My cheeks reddened but the formerly woeful patrons managed to crack a smile at that one. Mission accomplished.

Since her language skills are still coming along she has not yet grabbed on to the word "fart", so all gas that comes out of one's derrière is "poop".

"Daddy poop!" "Doggie poop!" - yes, every time it is exclaimed - "Chicky poop!"

"Mama poop!"

No, honey. That was, um...

Aw, hell. Yeah. That was Mama. Mama farted. And it felt good. It felt so good I might do it again. C'mon, let's fart together. Mother-daughter farting - now that's a good bonding experience.

I come from a long line of repressed people so for me this declaration of gas passing is an almost liberating experience. It's not like I'll start burping and farting at dinner parties, and I don't think I'll ever ask anyone to "Pull my finger", but if letting out a house-shaking belch makes my kid laugh then I'm pro-gas.

Except after Mr. C eats a burrito. I'm not pro-gas then. No, then I'm anti-gas. Very much anti-gas.

Now that Chicky is giving names to her emissions we thought it was time to move on to that-which-scares-me-above-all-toddler-development-milestones: Potty Training. The way I see it if she can call to me from another room to say "I pooping!" to alert me of the gift I will soon be finding in her diaper the least we can do is introduce her to the potty. And the least she can do is oblige.

The idea of potty training my daughter keeps me up at night. I have no idea where to begin. What if she hates the potty? What if she's one of those kids who gets refused at our pre-school of choice because she's not using the toilet yet. Will I ever be able to bring her out in public while she's potty training? Oh my God, what if she has to go to the toilet while we're in the grocery store and I don't get her there in time and she's scarred for life because her mother was too slow and forced her to wet herself in the middle of Stop & Shop? Or worse, what if we're stuck at the post office and she poops her pants? I don't think my neighbors will be smiling then.

Come to find out one of my fears was unfounded. Chicky loves the potty. She loved it from the moment I brought it home. It was not even out of the box and she was nearly apoplectic from the excitement. She was thrilled to be stripped from the waist down so she could sit on it and pretend to poop.

Pretend being the operative word in that sentence.

She grunts. Her face gets red. She says, "I pooping. I pooping!" And then? Nothing. She hops off the pot, looks inside, shrugs and then slams the lid.

"All done!"

I swear if she could she would skip away, happily, naked butt bouncing in the breeze. Now she just slams the lid and then stands in front of the full length mirror as she points to her behind. "Butt, Mama!" Then she slaps her ass. Oy.

She's spent enough time in the bathroom with her father while he's dropping the kids off at the pool, the poor girl, so she should be getting the idea of what the toilet is used for. But so far she has only latched on to one part of toilet time:



At least she has good taste in bathroom reading material.

I suppose I don't have to worry too much right now as she's not quite two years old yet. But any sage advice from you wise parents would be appreciated. Do you have any tips on how to at least get her to pee in the potty? Should I bribe her? Wait her out?

For now I think I'll just update her reading material. Jessica Biel is so yesterday's news.


43 comments:

cooler*doula said...

You could try getting her to sit on it at regular intervals... OR... Let her be naked from the waist down and she may just catch on. Can be messy - got wood floors? That helps. Took Josh two days of peeing on the floor and then he got it.

Frustrating part is getting them to pee on the potty at home does make make for a completed process. Then there's the training to remove clothing, or alert parent when out...

*sigh*

Good luck.

Laurie said...

Just grin and bare it for a while. We are going through the sam ething with our 22 month old son. Early bloomer for the potty... he is hit or miss.

If he DOES actually get pee-pee in the potty he gets a lollipop (sugar free organic...pomagranite!) or a SINGLE M&M! :) He gets so excited he sits on the potty and tells me he did pee-pee when he didn't. At least he is trying.

It is a LONG road! :) Best of luck. BUt there are a lot of us there for you on your journey to "big kid pants".

http://breighton.qseg.org

Jennifer said...

Wow! She's so advanced, reading already!?!

I'm so not looking forward to potty training.

Elizabeth said...

Can you tell me the brand name of that potty chair? I'm going to need one for Kaitlyn in, well, a year or so, and I like the looks of that one.

P.S. US Weekly is great bathroom reading material!

Wendy said...

Here is what helped me a lot when out in public and potty training. I made sure Amber used the potty before we left, when we got to the store, before we left the store, etc. Basically, I have seen the inside of every public restroom on this side of the Mississippi. It is one of the great joys of parenting.

And remember that diaper bag that you were so happy to get rid of, pack it full of clothes and leave it in the car. It will come in very handy and save you the trip home. Dont forget extra socks and shoes, pee goes everywhere.

Good luck

Christina said...

No advice here. My two and a half year old has a potty chair that she drags out of the bathroom to sit on while watching TV. Or she uses it to stuff her toys into. She simply can't grasp the concept that she will one day not use a diaper, and she has zero interest in potty training.

But the good reading material is probably a good place to start. Sometimes kids have to sit for awhile and accidentally go the first time to understand what's going on. (I used to work in a daycare in the two and a half year old room. Yes, I could help potty train 16 kids who weren't my own, but I can't get my own interested.)

jen said...

It JUST kicked in for M.

2 m and m's per each big girl potty episode have helped this move along greatly.

that said, friend...it's like all of a sudden they give a shit (pun intended) and start wanting to use it. for us, it truly started YESTERDAY. M is 2.6. You've got eons of time. stock up on the m and m's now.

jen said...

oh, and dude...that is one luxury pa-tayyyy. is there a cup holder on that thing?

i want one.

Blog Antagonist said...

LOL...poop is always interesting when you write about it Mrs. Chicky.

My, that's quite a fancy potty she's got there. They sure have improved things since my boys were training.

You know, the best advice I can give you is just let her take the lead. I did not push potty training. I did not give stickers, or treats, or clap over every turd. I treated it as a non-issue, as if I could not have cared less if they ever learned to use the toilet.

Both of my boys were fully three before they were trained, but when they expressed interest, I seized upon it, and they were trained very quickly, with little to no trauma for either of us.

Good luck. That's a big milestone, and one that I know you will enjoy enormously!

Mamma said...

I grew up with very little fart humor, so I completely undertand your liberated feeling. With three boys and a husband, it's an art form in our house.

Littlest guy right now isn't saying "f" so when he calls me out he yells, "Mommy parted!"

I hope he never learns his f's.

flutter said...

I am so immature. I have zero advice to offer, but there wasn't one second of this post that didn't completely crack me up, especially the ass slap in front of the potty.

*wipes a tear* I am going to be an awful mother

soleclaw said...

It's the Boon potty chair, right? I love that one! Everywhere I go I can't find it though. Anyway, I think for E we're going to get the seat insert that you put directly on the toilet. Dumping my daughter's business out of a plastic receptacle grosses me out.

E is only 19-months old, but is already showing signs she may be reaedy to train. She likes flushing the toilet, and poops on a regular basis. She sings a song when she poops (or farts), too: "Poopy poopy pooPEE!" (sung to the tune of "cha cha cha cha cha CHA!")

No advice from me...as we're about ready to go through the same thing. Good luck!!

NKYGAL said...

I want that Potty Chair..... Lucky you starting at two. I have two boys and my first, now almost 5, wanted nothing to do with the potty until he was 3. We were not fully off of pull-ups until 3.75. It was a LONG road, but of course. well worth the trip!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

yeah, I have nothing to say to you about that...I had the weekend from hell...regarding the potty.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I am NOT in the 'early potty training' camp. My two oldest were 3 and just over 3; my son will 'start' this summer when he is just about 3. Diapers are just too easy and convenient. There is nothing like hanging your kid out of the side of the minivan so they can pee in the street to make you wonder why the hell you were in such a rush to get them out of diapers (yes, I did that).

So, my advice would be to wait until she really 'gets it'. Keep the potty very handy---in whatever room you are in (and even in the car). Don't let them think you care TOO much about it; but every time you pass a fun 'kids' space (at the mall, Ikea, supermarket), you can mention that they can go into it once they out of diapers.

My son wears his potty 'ring' on his head (thank god no one uses it!), so I think I've got a ways to go.

Pendullum said...

0y goodness, Mrs. Chicky, It was so long ago, I have forgotten how I did it with my gal pal... I just remember my first attempt was going along splendidly the first day... and then the second day... she had a violent flu with the dreaded diarrehea and I had to beg her to stay in diapers for a bit longer as I could not bear to think of cleaning the potty...

Karly said...

My daughter (28 months) just started peeing on her own. We had her potty chair directly across from the toilet and anytime I had to pee I would bring Emma with me and have her sit. And then, because I am a mother and life is so glamorous, I would spread my legs while I peed so that she could see "water" was coming out. She now refuses to pee or poop in her potty and will only do it while we hold her on the toilet. We also let her run around naked ALL THE TIME so that she would know what was goin' on down there. Lots of pee to clean off the floor, but we mostly have wood floors, so it wasn't a problem.

Good luck!

Oh, The Joys said...

The daycare people trained The Mayor. We, following their lead, set a beeping watch for every hour and then when it beeped told him it was time to try and marched him in there over and over again.

PunditMom said...

Ah, nothing like some quality mother-daughter bonding! Good times, good times.

Lawyer Mama said...

I love poop posts! As for potty training, I have no advice. My 2 1/2 year old loves to sit on the potty and FLUSH the potty, but he has yet to even pee in one. Call me a lazy parent, but I'm going to follow my baby sitter's lead. She seems to know what she's doing whereas I have no clue.

Oh & don't get too stressed about it because I just read that the average age for successful potty training is 34 months for girls and 38 months for boys.

Redneck Mommy said...

I've no words of wisdom on this subject. Time and copious amounts of wine have dulled the pain that potty training memories brought...

I vaguely remember bringing her in to pee when I had to do my business, and just kinda waiting till she was ready to do it on her on.

Eventually she will pee. And poop. The whole "if you build it, they will come" principle.

Stephanie said...

Just takin' notes, here. Nothin' to see, nothin' to say, except that at 10 months Bethany has learned to say, "Yuck" every time I change one of her poopy diapers.

Yep. She's a genius.

ali said...

unfortunately no read advice from me. emily trained herself. and with josh we were so sick of changing diapers that we just took them off of him and every 10 minutes took him to the potty or toilet. it was tons of work...but much more pleasant than changing diapers...

aunt chick;y baby said...

I don't suppose that potty training could've started next month? You know, after you get back from your mini-vacation and not involve me?

something blue said...

We did the party after potty, with cheers, songs, dances and rewards (stickers or treats.) It messes with your sanity.

This weekend our girls disappeared into the bathroom and shut the door. When they came out I asked them what they were doing. Strawberry replied, "I was showing her how to pee." Good job girl. You do the potty training! I'm loving having two children.

JayJenny said...

Dropping the kids off at the pool...wow, I thought only my husband said that! Thanks for the laugh... and by all means, do update the magazine. The girl's gotta stay current!

Kate said...

Sooooo not looking forward to potty training again with my 2nd. Good luck with that!
But, I wouldn't bribe with M&Ms or anything like that. Kids will go when they're good and ready.

Mimi said...

I just PT'd my 2yo. filled him up with milk and/or juice and let him pee on himself a few times. Like Coolerdoula, took him about 2 days. And now I have an excuse to clean the carpets.

good luck!

Ruth Dynamite said...

She'll get the hang of it soon, and if she's anything like my little darlings, she'll be clogging pipes in no time!

(sorry about that visual)

Ahem. Carry on.

moodswingingmommy said...

Great post! Just looking for a little inspiration for my 3 yr old. We are in potty training HELL! We've found naked-from-the-waist down and m+m's helpful, but at this point it's a power struggle and we're just trying to wait him out.

Kristi said...

"I burped out of my bottom!" We get that one a lot.

Emily Snipes said...

Love the potty!!!! Cute. But the reading material...wow, you've got an advanced kiddo!

I had a boy, so we did the cheerio thing. You know pee & try to dunk it. Don't they make some tablets or something you put in the potty and when they pee it changes the color?
Not sure?

Girl con Queso said...

Hilarious. And yes, same thing here. The only time the Hurricane will pick up a book is on the potty. What's up with that?

Mad Hatter said...

We haven't started training yet, but Miss M does the same thing on the potty. "All done." I really do think "all done" means "I now have permission to run around naked until you wrestle me to the bed and put that wretched diaper back on."

lisa's chaos said...

Some might think I'm awful because with my first child (daughter) I put her in little dresses or really long shirts and would leave her bottom bare for portions of the day. I placed the potty in our living room too so she would see it in passing and plop down. She's 20 now and fully potty-trained. :)

With my youngest I had special books - the ones with buttons that make songs or noises - and he could only look at those books while sitting on his potty. He's 15 now and still poops his britches. :D He would so die if he knew I said that. :D

Kelly said...

Yeah, come on, Chicky should be reading up on Britney's new rehab romance!

Velma said...

We didn't even bother trying early with Pepper, because I was due with #2 when she was 2 3/4. We figured it would all go out the window with a new baby, so we waited until right around her 3rd birthday. With her, all it took was 10 stickers on a chart and like, one lollipop, and she was done.

My son took even longer, and the only advice I have is to do what works for YOUR kid (bribes, timing, self-directed, candy-directed, WHATEVER) and try not to stress about it if she loses interest for a while. It'll happen, really, and it's not the worst thing in the world if it takes a while. (Take it from the woman who had a son turn 4 while still in diapers!)

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Potty training is....the.worst.thing.ever. Tons of time, commitment and effort and consistency. But now having 2 out of 3 ALL DONE, I'm anxious for #3 to get moving. Is it too early to train a not-yet-2-and-non-speaking-little-boy?? Yeah...I thought so. Damn.

mo-wo said...

Seriously.. guess what? I have a book for this....

Hannah is this book was the closer for us. http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Book-Alyssa-Satin-Capucilli/dp/0764152319

Oh that and having a baby. She always chose a newborn nursing session as the best moment to have a poop, etc. She's cunning my girl.

Ball back in your court.

ECR said...

It sounds like she's in good shape. It's just a matter of time. I'm going through similar stuff right now so this one hit my funny bone particularly hard.

The other day, my dad was babysitting her and he goes "Does she always find it so funny when she farts?"

Hee hee. Of course. Who doesn't?

LeAnne said...

I'm in the same exact boat as you. We just started potty training this week and she loves the potty chair. Luckily she has gone in it once, but there has been a lot of peeing on the carpet, kitchen floor, crib, and who knows where else?

Kyla said...

We set a timer for every 30 minutes and sat BubTar on the potty. Once he peed on it a few times, he caught on to how it was supposed to work. He was an easy trainer, though, I'm sure it doesn't go that smoothly for everyone.

ewe are here said...

Potty training. Shudder. I, too, have absolutely no idea how to go about it with our almost 2 year old... My husband thinks we should just wait for warmer weather, strip him down and let him run around the yard sans clothes. Anyone?