Frigid? Maybe hibernation is the answer

By now you might be wondering if Mr. C is still in possession of his testicles after Friday's heating fiasco. I decided to let him keep his balls but I'm reserving the right to use them as punching bags when the mood strikes me. And, no, I'm not speaking figuratively. Here's what he said in response to my bitching about not having heat on the coldest day in the past two years (5 degrees, but -14 with the wind chill):

"I'm sorry. I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to do?"

Hmm, let's see... You could massage my frosty toes until they regain their feeling. That would be a nice start. Some serious groveling, perhaps? Back-rubs for the next few months, without being groped or propositioned for sex. Did any of that happen? In a word, No. I got an apology and a promise that it would never happen again. Yeah, I got that last year. I should have had it printed on a t-shirt because then I would have had something to show for my inconvenience and for my kid's extreme discomfort. He did take over a majority of the housework this weekend, but it's going to take a lot more than folding a load of laundry to get back into my good graces. And my pants.

I thank those of you who offered their homes to Chicky and me during our hour of need. If we ever lose heat again I'll take you up on that offer, but you should know that if it does happen again because my husband had a brain fart I'll be looking for long term housing.

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In other news, I've decided to take a break from my other blog. Every time I go to write something over there, the blink of the cursor just reminds me that I have nothing to say. Nothing to say that hasn't already been said a million times. By me, by others. I'm discouraged, my friends. I don't know if it's the latest crop of students I've had or if this is truly a trend I'll be seeing for a while to come, but I keep getting people in my class who are not only unwilling to do what it takes to train their four-legged companions for the long run but are also unwilling to also start their relationships off on the right foot... Or paw. Whatever. They say they do, but when the chips are down they resort to other avenues and then accuse me of making things difficult for them. And let's face it, positive trainers just don't have the PR that He Who Talks Softly has.

You know who I'm talking about, please don't make me say his name. It hurts me.

If I hear one more person say his name with reverence while questioning my methods (methods, I might add, that have been proven more effective than his in the long run for the every day dog) I might just go use one of those choke collars in a way is what not quite intended. No, not like that. I was actually thinking of using it rectally.

I will continue training for as long as I can take it - gotta think about the business, after all - but I have to take a hiatus from the writing.

(The dog writing. I never get tired of exploiting my kid on this blog.)

I hope to regain my desire to force my opinions on unsuspecting owners via the internet soon. And I sincerely thank all three of Dog Gone Blog's readers for continuing to come back, even though I wasn't very consistent. Bad dog trainer. Bad, bad, bad. That's one of the cardinal rules of training - consistency. See? I'm starting to push my training on you guys, and you didn't even ask for it. There's hope for me after all!