Friday, June 23, 2006

A glimpse into the mind of a toddler

Pick me up.
No, put me down!!

Carry me.
No! Let me crawl.
No, wait. I want to walk.
Nope, I want to crawl.
Yay! Look at me, I'm walking!

Feed me!
Feed me more.
Feed me more, more, more.
No! Get that slop away from me.

I want milk.
Get that damn sippy cup away from me, woman. You offend me with that contraption.

I want my bottle.
I want my bottle.
I want my bottle.

I'm sleepy.
Ah Ha! Fooled you. I'm wide awake.

Let's play.
Leave me alone.

I changed my mind. I'm really sleepy.
Wait! Don't leave me.
Hold me while I sleep.
No. Put me in my crib.
Wait! Don't leave me!!

I need my diaper changed.
Get away from me with those wipey things, woman.

Daddy's home!!
Get that man away from me.

Look! A dog!
Get that animal away from me.

Hey! Where is the kittie going? I just wanted to hug him. Hard. Around the neck.

Hug me.
Kiss me.
I'm not sorry I just smacked you across the head, Mama.
I'm going to do it again.
And again.
And again.
Hey! Don't put me down.



Cry Whine Smile Laugh Cry Whine Whine Whine

Mommy, why do you always smell like wine?


Anonymous said...

All too familiar. Especially that sippy cup/bottle business. Still fighting that battle. I'll hand her a sippy, and she'll go to the cupboard and drag out one of the two remaining bottles in there.

Anonymous said...


I guess you could smell like worse things..

Amy said...

Daddy's home!!
Get that man away from me

- Oh man, I am laughing here and snorting. Em does this every day and each and every day Channing's heart breaks a little. Meanwhile if I go to pee the world comes to and end.

Toddlers. A blast, eh?

Anonymous said...


This is bang-on. But you know that.

kittenpie said...

Hey, is that my kid you have over there? This is JUST what Pumpkinpie is up to these days.

Anonymous said...

Take and the bottles and sippy cups and you've got me when I have PMS. ;)
I want to say it's gets better...and it does in a way...but...well, then they turn 9. :)

Cristina said...

I love that...why do you smell like wine?! LOL

I think my baby had these exact same thoughts today.

Debbie said...

*laughing to the point of collapse*

yeahhhh. about the eau de vino - um. yeah.

Stacy said...

LMFAO in case you don't know what that means I'm Laughing My Fucking Ass Off!!!

Mama of 2 said...


Oh you just summed up the bulk of my days at home with Girlie Girlie and don't get me started on what it's like to have an 8 year old.

Thanks for the chuckle.

Unknown said...

So cute...sounds a lot like my little guy. It is hard to tell what he really wants sometimes. Keeps me on my toes, but it is pure joy! Fun stuff! Thanks for the giggle!

Lisa said...

I remember that phase. I spent alot of time smelling like wine too. heehee.

Loved this post.

petite gourmand said...

sounds oh so familiar.
especially the part about the vino....

carrie said...

Too, too funny! And right on the mark!

Kristin said...

are you hanging with eva on the sly? cuz you just described my girl to a "t"... well, you forgot the, "I DO IT!!!" screeched every 3.5 seconds, but other than that... right on target!

Christina said...

That's hilarious, and oh so true.

Mom101 said...

When one is actually laughing out loud, a simple LOL will not do. No, I am compelled to spell out the fact that I am laughing out loud here. So great.

Pendullum said...

Sunrise Sunset...Sunrise Sunset...
Sooo long ago and just yesterday...
Gave me a wee shiver I must admit...
Now it is all lipgloss, skipping, songs, friends, sleepovers, and endless adventures outside our home... miss the times when I could have her held captive by me for over a day....

Anonymous said...

That is too funny. And absolutely spot-on. My toddler does the "I'm sleepy/aha, fooled you!" bit all the time. Sigh...

Anonymous said...

Wow. That's where I'll be in a couple years? Yikes, I forgot all about it! I'm scared!

Radioactive Tori said...

I didn't know you were watching my son! Or are they all this frustrating and adorable? My son's other favorite is to end every sentence with "RIGHT NOW!" No matter what he is asking for. Cute, huh?

Suburban Turmoil said...


I have another verse:

I do it myself!
Waaah! I can't do it!
You try it!

(Repeat 517x)

Anonymous said...

That is so true. Isn't it exhausting? I'm exhausted just reading that!

Sandra said...

So funny. SO TRUE. Thanks for the smile!

Gina said...

This made me laugh so hard! Mind of a toddler? Nope, this is my 8 month old to a T but without the walking and dog bits. I guess nothing much is going to change until he starts walking (and we get a dog).

What's so funny? said...

I should frame this and hang it in my daugther's room. FRAME this I say. I'm going to paint a big, pink frame and hang this over her bed.

ms blue said...

"I'm sleepy.
Ah Ha! Fooled you. I'm wide awake."
That's my life summed up perfectly!

Let's cuddle mommy. Ah sweet kisses. Hee hee. I wipe your kisses off. Now chase me.

Anonymous said...

You know, sometimes I think that since Girlie's toddlerhood, only the vocabulary has changed. The contrariness survives. Sorry to inform you. :)

Miguelita said...

Other than the wine part ('cause we are out of it) this describes my weekend perfectly.

Must get more wine...

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Can I add "Poop! Boy do I love to play with poop!"

MrsFortune said...

Damn you crack me up. Hilarious. This is what goes on in my mind all the time, though. I'm indecisive like that.

CroutonBoy said...

yep. that's pretty much it for us, too.

Anonymous said...

You've got that down perfectly. Oh the torture!

Nettie said...

Do you know my Elsie? That is the funniest thing I've seen all day. Why is it funny to read about, and not so much to live?

Nichole said...

hilarious! In our case it's:

I'm not sorry I just hit you in the head with your watch, Daddy!
I'll do it again!

Unknown said...

LOL!! Mine would be mommy why do you always smell like bloody mary's? LOL.