Monday, August 02, 2010

Step into the heart of darkness. Or as I like to call it, vacation with my kids.

It's been a busy couple of weeks 'round these parts.

Mr. C. took two weeks off in a row for vacation - something virtually unheard of for the man who is looking into having his Blackberry, Macbook AND iPad surgically attached to him, kind of like Iron Man for geeks - so we decided to make the best of it and scheduled not one but two separate vacation trips. First up, Story Land in the beautiful White Mountains of New Hampshire.

Don't know about Story Land? It's an amusement park best suited for the under 10 year old set that's been in operation since the 1950's. It's quaint, it's heavy on the Mother Goose motif, the only way out is through Ye Olde Gift Shoppe of Doom. It's awesome. I went there as a kid, as did Mr. C., and by jeebus our kids were going too! So we went. Along with half of New England.

Okay I'm exaggerating. Only a third of New England was there. We went mid-week when it was slow.

The kids loved Story Land and we're planning on going again next year. Because next year, poor CC won't be stuck in a stroller most of the time. Maybe. She has a tendency to wander and a stubborn streak as big as Texas and shut up, husband of mine, she DOES NOT GET THAT ENTIRELY FROM ME. At least I only wander when there's something shiny to look at and not every time we encounter something that plugs into the wall.

CC had a good time, though. We threw her in a germ-infested pit of plastic balls and she was happy as a toddler in a germ-infested pit of plastic balls.

One of the highlights, for Chicky at least, was Cinderella's Kingdom:

A place I thought for sure would be skipped. My daughter loves pirates and beating up little boys, but she can take or leave a Princess. But on this occasion, bring on the sparkles! And I mean that almost literally.

Want to see something that strikes fear in my heart and wakes me up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat?

Look into my eyes. You will buy me a $15 soft serve ice cream and there's nothing you can do about it. And I'll take that row of stuffed Humpty Dumpty's too.

Dude. Just... DUDE. When we saw the face painting stand I thought for sure she was going to ask for the SpiderMan or the one that looked like a snake was eating the wearer's face but no, she went for... that. Whatever that is.

Come to think of it, sans fake gold crown on her forehead and that was me in high school. Only I wore more blue eyeshadow.

She had to be coaxed to sit on Cinderella's lap. To be fair, I'm pretty sure she took Cinderella for what she was - an underpaid, blond teenage girl in a dress that look suspiciously like the one I wore to a prom in '87. So she just stood next to her. All the better to make a quick getaway from.

Cinderella needs more blue eyeshadow.

Later in the trip we took the girls to Santa's Village, another place I had been to as a kid, and I'm not going to get into that trip except to say there was a very large cross and a huge nativity scene there and I'm sorry but you're not going to rationalize that away enough for my heathen liking.

I'd show you pictures of my children posed on sleighs and standing next to fake penguins and elves, just as I had a wee child, but I lost most of them in the great iPhoto crash of '10. They may still be on my memory card or they may be on my hard drive or I may have been ready to start shooting tequila at that point so let's move on.

The next week after barely any rest from four days in New Hampshire we set off for my sister's house on Cape Cod. If you have a relative who lives near an ocean and happens to own an eating and drinking establishment, I highly recommend you take them up on the offer to stay with them. Especially if that relative has extra bedrooms so you don't have to spend another week with your beautiful but non-sleeping children and has a seemingly never-ending reserve of wine. I'd show you pictures but I don't have many. Much too busy sleeping and eating and drinking and laying in the sun and Story Land who?

Which leads me to today - A mountain of laundry and a house in questionable condition, I still haven't caught up on my sleep and three days until I leave for BlogHer to get it all done. And no never-ending supply of wine.



Lindsey said...

Went to both of these parks myself this summer. I LOVED Storyland and had an ambivalent reaction to Santa's Village! I love your stories.

SciFi Dad said...

Jesus Christ... that face paint job scared ME, and, well, I've been lost in downtown Detroit after midnight before.

Anyhow... sounds like a lot of work for a lot of smiles... which is pretty much a definition of parenting, isn't it?

Lara said...

I'd love to comment on what you wrote, but I just can't get over how much that "Cinderella" does NOT AT ALL look like Cinderella. Who does she think she's fooling? Jeez.

Val said...

Nice post! Cinderella looks really stressed out=)

Fairly Odd Mother said...

We may have been on the Cape at the same time!

As you know, my children have been deprived of BOTH Santa's Village AND Storyland.

Maybe Santa's Village people put up the religious stuff b/c you know what word Santa can be rearranged too, right? Just covering their bases.

WorkingMom said...

Been to both parks. The religious stuff at Santa's Village really didn't bother us, particularly since it's in the back of the park... and it is a Christmas-themed park. We like it as there are more things for older kids to do. Story Land is great for little little kids, but thankfully my kids didn't ask to go back.

As for the Cape - LOVE it, just not the traffic. Fond memories of a cousin's wedding in Chatham and other family excursions. Hope you enjoyed it.

carrie said...

Cinderella needs to have her face painted by the same experts that did Chicky's!

Making It Work Mom said...

Sounds like a typical New England Family Vacation. By the way I heard that if you live in NewEngland and don't take your toddler/preschool child to Storyland you are investigated for abuse and neglect. Thank god you dodged that bullet!

IzzyMom said...

Wow..CC is your mini-me! Wish I'd run into you at BlogHer. Amidst the other 2199 other bloggers, I saw very few old friends this year. #SOCIALFAIL

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