Thursday, July 22, 2010

I could write a clever title or I could watch my cat stalk a chipmunk. Guess which one I picked?

Hiya.

Yep, I'm still here. Not writing but still... Here.

If I don't write, does that still make me a blogger? Probably not, huh? I'm going to a blogging conference in a couple of weeks, does that make me a blogger? Not exactly, right?

I love what blogging did for me in the past - the free therapy, the friendships, the support, I am much in debt to this space and to all who drop by. But being a blogger sometimes means sharing pieces of ourselves with friends and strangers we might not otherwise share and let's face it - I am not usually a sharer. As much as I hate the word, but use it I must even at the risk of sounding cryptic, there are issues I need to work out that most days take center stage in this rattled brain of mine and are making it impossible to write something breezy or silly, or even heartfelt and memory capturing.

It's like a big old yellow road block complete with flashing lights and sirens. Annoying sirens. Really annoying sirens that sound like a Ke$ha song on constant repeat. Yes, that bad.

When faced with that it's nearly impossible to write something coherent and coherent writing is kind of the name of the game in blog land. Otherwise, it would all be "Lollipops molecule sod halitosis Squirrel!" It's already kind of like that around here.

I could also go on about the ways blogging and bloggers, specifically Mommy Bloggers, have changed since I started writing in 2005. Five years may not seem like a lot of time but it is light years away from where we started. But I'm not going to go on about it. It's been done, let's move on.

Maybe I need to quit or maybe I need to change my blog name or maybe I need a new scene. Maybe I need Prozac or Xanax or Wellbutrin or Red Bull or whatever else all the kids today are taking. Maybe I need a writing class to get the juices flowing... Okay clearly I need a writing class because, Juices Flowing? Ew.

Maybe I need to grow a set, stop being afraid, admit how I feel. Maybe I need to find my voice again.

Yeah, that's it. I need to find my voice again. It was here a minute ago. I'll go check the dryer lint trap and see if it's in there.

15 comments:

Boston Mamas said...

Dude, even when you write about not knowing what to write about, I feel your humor and heart and awesomeness.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Those juices will start flowing (double ewwww) when the time is right.

Backpacking Dad said...

Blogs are dumb.

Issas Crazy World said...

You are a great writer.

It has changed, this weird blogging community. But it's still here for you, however you choose to be in it.

Finding words can be hard. But yes, you are still a blogger. At least that is what the voices in my head tell me. ;)

Lara said...

When you do find your voice, I hope you talk to me, because I just think you're so cool. Also, I hope that I get to squish you in a big hug at that blogging conference in a couple weeks. :)

Lisa said...

You're still a blogger. And we missed you. :-)

Megan said...

Don't get too hard on your self.Every time you wrote on this page and made topic or some article even if you don't know what you writing your still blogging, It's your way sharing, so keep it up.

The Laundress said...

I've been gone for so long, I get how you feel right now.

But I've missed it. I've missed it so. I've missed the connections and the internet friendships I've made and I feel like I've let all those friends down, by leaving.

I did need the time, but I regret is nonetheless...Isn't that how life is though. I went back to work after 5 years and regretted losing the seniority I would have had, but loved being home. Are we just destined to never find the right "feeling"?

Missed you.

SciFi Dad said...

You, my friend, need a reboot.

Email me if you want to know more.

Major Bedhead said...

I've been feeling similar feelings, ever since going to BlogHer last year. I have no idea why, I haven't spent enough time thinking about it, I guess. But yeah. I need...something. Maybe this year's conference will undo whatever last year's did to my already-screwed up head.

Pamela said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Velma said...

Me, too. I finally went ahead and switched over to my new domain, and I feel... kind of over it. Life is right here, taking up my time, and instead of being the therapy is once was, blogging is now 75% an obligation and 25% a thrilling share. Hmm.

WorkingMom said...

You'll find your voice again. I keep leaving mine in the frig, or under the driver's seat next to the empty coffee cups. That, or it's on summer vaca, and will come home when the kids go back to school and I have a normal schedule (and practices where I can sit in my car and write!).

kgirl said...

It's definitely not the same. But it can still be whatever you need it to be. I got a makeover. Feels new again (not that I've written anything since the makeover). I'm just happy that I will finally meet you soon :)

creative-type dad said...

What?! You don't like getting emails from 30 different companies a day...?

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