Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Lopsided

I think I can say with almost 100% certainty that CC is now officially weaned.

*throws salt over shoulder*

*knocks wood*

*beats on a rabbit's foot with a horseshoe*

After ten months of exclusive breastfeeding and then slowly and painstakingly trying to get her to accept a bottle on a regular basis, it's time.

My goal with CC was one year, which is two weeks from now, and I will admit that date is purely selfish. I'm done. I'm ready to have my breasts back, though admittedly much more beaten and battered than they were a year ago, and I want to wear a bra with no snaps on the cup. I want to tuck in a shirt if the mood should strike. I want to not have a small, rabid badger hanging from my nipples by her teeth.

Yeah, CC is a biter. Moving on.

I have to admit though, it happened a lot more quickly than I imagined it would. I figured she'd fight me for months, so I started a couple of weeks ago in preparation for going to Blogher in July. It must have coincided with a growth spurt because my supply didn't seem to be enough for her and she finally realized that taking a bottle? Not such a bad thing after all. Did you know milk came out of these things? Lots of it? Who knew?? You'd think we were holding out on her.

So consequently, I'm in a bit of pain. Not to mention she favored one breast over the other... and I'll leave the rest to your imagination. And for the record, you're disgusting. Stop thinking about my boobs.

With Chicky I didn't have an end date in mind, I figured we'd go as long as we could and that would be that. However, she was very different from her little sister in that she took a bottle at five months. The weaning happened naturally, organically (if you can call it that, using non-BPA free plastic bottles), and over much time and on her first birthday, when we were down to one nursing session a day, she simply pushed me away, gestured to her crib, and went to sleep. That was, in fact, that.

If I had known then it was the last time I would have tried to remember it all. I was much more sentimental about the whole process with Chicky. With CC, I'm more practical and I think it's because she has always been so practical in her approach to nursing. She never really nursed for comfort and toward the end she barely nursed for sustenance. She's just not interested in working for it or sitting still long enough because there are places to go, people to see and other, more dangerous things to put in her mouth.

But my baby girl is a creature of habit. I would bring her to bed and we would have to sit down and have a little nummy nummies session (for the record, I never called it nummy nummies, I'm just sick of writing "nursing"). She would lay there biting and chewing and hitting (she was always a hitter as well as a biter and next week I'm signing my almost one year old up for kickboxing classes. By three she should be ready for Ultimate Fighting.) and then she'd freak out because my let down was too slow for her liking. Almost every day it was the same. It's no wonder I was ready to be done with this breastfeeding thing.

However, I do feel like I should be as sentimental about the whole business of weaning CC as I was with Chicky. She's my last baby. No more feeding a little person from my bosom. No more sweaty head in the crook of my arm while little hands flutter around my chest. I don't think I even got any pictures of me nursing her...

Okay, now I'm weepy. Also, leaky. And I smell like cabbage.

What I said about not being nostalgic about weaning? Disregard please.

24 comments:

Kerrie said...

I will shortly being hitting the one year mark as well. That's mine finish line as well. While reading today's blog I shouted out a few "Amen Sister"s and wept/leaked a drop for you.
I've been told Sage helps to dry things up. Kudos for being a nursing momma.

Magpie said...

Oh, man. I still get a little nostalgic, and I weaned mine years ago. You did good by her.

kgirl said...

It's totally bittersweet. I'm at a point where I'd be fine if Dove - 18 months - self-weaned now, but I'm still her beverage of choice. I weaned Bee at 25 months - I was 5 months pregnant already.

When Dove is able to undo my bra on her own, I'm cutting her off.

SciFi Dad said...

Should a non-lactating, non-mammary possessing, non-female person even comment on this post? A more important question is, "How lucky do you feel?"Weaning my daughter wasn't as difficult for her as it was for my wife, since we were able to successfully introduce the occasional bottle a lot earlier. It was the physical discomfort and the emotional concern (she said it felt like she was "denying" her something, even though it was a slow process).

I suspect my son will be more difficult. Even though he takes a bottle willingly (from me), he nurses for comfort, for solace, for insomnia, for frustration, for entertainment, for boredom, and for avoiding his crib.

Mac and Cheese said...

Lopsided and bitten over here too. Looking forward to buying an expensive bra some time soon!

Kerrie said...

Since it won't let me edit my typos (curse you sleep deprivation) all I can say is "dar dar dar" :P

Heather said...

Weaning is very emotional for me. D turns one on Friday and I've not really thought about weaning yet. (My husband has thought about weaning for months and months because he doesn't like to share the "girls" to which I say Pshaw!)

My son essentially self-weaned at about 14 months so we'll see what Ms. D has planned.

You did great nursing for so long. Hope the milk goes away quickly for you.

Barbara said...

I get the whole thing except for the cabbage.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Barbara - I have a cabbage leaf in my bra. Supposedly it helps dry up the milk. I don't know if it works but I do know one thing - I smell a bit like coleslaw.

motherbumper said...

I did it for freedom and while it is a little bit sad, it sure is a whole lot of liberating. I cannot stop picturing lopsided things so I'll just leave you with this: I think you are really onto something with this baby cage match/ultimate fighting idea.

Jamie said...

Weaning was bittersweet for me too. I was ready, but sad.

motherbumper said...

Did I mention I had to express myself into various sinks and cups at BlogHer07? TMI? Yeah, that's me, TMI.

Sarah@Momalom said...

My little boys weaned early, by 6 months, because I was annoyed at the suck suck, look around, suck suck, look around, suck suck ENOUGH ALREADY... get the job done, kid! And now, although I have three and my life is hectic and more than I can admit to handling on most days, I wonder if I'd have another child just to take it slowly and enjoy it. Truth is, I think I'd still be saying GET THE JOB DONE, while alternatively crying into my wine glass that it all ends so quickly.

Every step is a milestone and a molehill all at once. We have so much to look forward to. We have so many memories to keep.

I loved this post. I think it's only the 2nd of yours I have read, but I loved it.

Good luck to you, and to CC.

Anonymous said...

The cabbage thing does work. Just make sure the leaves are really cold when you put them on. And remove them as soon as they start to wilt and replace with fresh cold ones. It'll take 3-5 days but it does work. I didn't nurse (I know, bad mommy) and was dried up within a week of having my daugher.

Barbara said...

Oh, I never heard that one! I also was on various and sundry medicines and unable to nurse.

Patois said...

"If I had known then it was the last time I would have tried to remember it all." Ain't that the truth about things in general when it comes to our darn kids?

Heather said...

I heard you actually have to break up the cabbage a bit or something. I had to stop cold turkey when Giggles was 14 months old because she was not wanting to stop and was getting all of her food from me....holy pain Batman, can you imagine how I felt the next day.

With The Chicken she stopped on her own on her 1st birthday. It was like she knew.

(((hugs))) hopefully you are more cemetrical soon.

mo-wo said...

hey join me for the nonlinear girl baby shower. those babies are almost here.

TwoBusy said...

I'm trying not to think about your boobs - per your request - but "a small, rabid badger hanging from my nipples by her teeth" is an image I've been trying to get out of my head all day.

RHW said...

I hope you feel better soon! I understand the boobie pain - my Geekling was really harsh on the nipples. My midwife gave me very particular instructions on using cabbage to soothe, but not too much in case it affected my supply.

Geekling was also a hitter - she smacked me many a time whilst firmly anchored on the boob. She would also occasionally insist on holding my chin...

musingwoman said...

A friend of mine says a couple bags of frozen lima beans work wonders.


P.S. I think the type of veggie is optional

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Oh man, I got all weepy reading this. Imp is my last and we were going to let her go until she was...are you ready for this? THREE. Unfortunately we only got to 2 1/2 because of my medication issues but it was rough. And I was an emotional wreck. With all of my other babies, we only lasted a year and by the time those 12 months were over I just wanted them OFF OF ME! Imp? Not so much.

And, I still have milk. July will make is a year since I weaned her. It sucks.

Al_Pal said...

Awww. Sweet post. ;p

iMuslimah said...

I would have done anything to have such a close nursing relationship with my son. From day one it was nothing but trouble, crying (mostly me- then him), soreness, irritability blah blah blah. Many lactation consults didnt help either. I finally threw in the towel (and the nipple shields) after 4 agonizing months. I still think its me. How could a baby NOT want to nurse, right? I cried incesantly as I packed up my pump, and bought formula.

Has anyone had a bad first experience with nursing and then have a positive one with baby #2?

I still wonder if there is something wrong me. Thinking about having another baby, not sure if I want to put myself through the nursing part again. I guess because I wanted it so much.