I hate Mother's Day.
There, I said it. I hate this damn "holiday". I hate being reminded that my mom isn't around anymore. I hate every PR pitch about it that finds its way into my inbox (but I do take a perverse satisfaction out of deleting each and every one without even opening them. Take that, suckas.). I hate the media blitz surrounding this upcoming Sunday. I hate the television commercials with the happy smiling family and the "You rock, Mom!" recordable greeting cards. I hate going into a Hallmark store and being assaulted with colorful drawings of tulips and sappy sentimental reminders to "Remember Mom!!" with multiple exclamation points. I even hate the exclamation points because they're associated with the sentiment. And I generally like exclamation points. But this week I'd like to forget that bit of punctuation exists.
Yeah, that's hate for you.
I've sat down this week to try to write at least 10 different posts about Mother's Day and they all went straight into the trash after the first few painful lines. I've tried to write one post in particular, even working on four or five drafts of a story I feel needs to be written, only to put it aside to revisit at another, less brittle time. Mostly I've just skulked around the internet or avoided it, and other forms of communication, all together until I can act less like a person you'd like to jab with a pointy stick. That should happen sometime on Monday.... Maybe. I make no promises so have your pointy sticks ready just in case.
While I spent this week sighing and sulking I got to thinking - I can't be alone in my hatred for Mother's Day, can I? There must be others out there who feel the same. I cannot believe I'm the only one because, dude, that would be bad.
So I decided to start an online I Hate Mother's Day support group. Mostly to make myself feel better but also, because I love you. Yes you, over there throwing darts at that FTD florist mailer.
How about it? If you hate Mother's Day for ANY REASON let me know in the comments. And please leave your reason for hating it. Maybe your husband buys crap gifts, or no gifts at all, for you and you're pretty close to shoving him in front of a bus. Maybe your wife makes a ridiculously big deal about being honored and you'd like to shove her in front of a bus. Maybe your mother is a shrew and it kills you to suck it up and play nice for one day out of the year and you'd like to.... You know. Bus. Shove. Splat.
(All metaphorically speaking, of course. We at Chicky Chicky Baby do not endorse the shoving of loved ones in front of buses. Sub-compacts, maybe. But not buses.)
Whatever the reason, leave it here and I'll keep an ongoing link list of those (or do it anonymously, this is a safe place) who dare to say:
"I hate Mother's Day and I'm not going to take it anymore!!"
Hey there, I just used exclamation points. I must be feeling better already.
(Even if you slightly dislike Mother's Day, you can share that too. Misery meet company, company meet misery. Aw look at that, they're hitting it off already.)
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Wow, who knew so many of you hated Mother's Day?
Hello to all of you who Googled "I Hate Mother's Day" and found yourself here. You're in good company so even if you don't feel like leaving a comment (and I know you're there, I can see you. Hi! *waving*), pull up a seat and grab a cup of joe (It's dark, strong and slightly bitter - just like I like my men) because there are a LOT of us.
As promised, these are the people (so far, it's not too late to join the party) who had no problem declaring their hatred for Mother's Day, not including the bunches of commenters who decided to be anonymous (Hey, they have their reasons. I don't judge.):
Misconceptions about Conception
The New Girl
Jodifur
The Redneck Mommy
Flutter
My Bliss
Outdoor Dogs
Amber
Foop
And these are the ones who are just kind of "Eh, whatever. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I have trouble deciding what I want for lunch":
Red Headed Wonder
Southern Domestic Goddess
All Things BD
A Moment Captured
KittenPie
Write From Karen
Barking Mad
Spinning Yellow
BOSSY
Friday, May 08, 2009
I hate Mother's Day and I don't think I'm the only one
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56 comments:
Chicky...found your blog a few months ago and love it. I lost my Mom 5 months ago to colon cancer and this is my first Mother's Day without her. I could care less about Mother's Day for me because I know my kids love me and I don't need an artificial day to confirm it (same way I feel about V-Day). Dag nabbit...I'm just tired of crying in the car all week!
I don't so much hate Mother's Day, as I was extremely disappointed in it last year. (And I'm coming at this as a new mother, not as a daughter.) Last year was my first Mother's Day, when my baby was 2 months old. At 38 years old and having wanted a baby for many many years, I was thrilled and excited about it and looking forward to being treated special.
My boyfriend/now husband put way more effort into treating his mom rather than me. (Surprised her and went to church with her and the baby, brought a corsage, and lots of gifts.) He did get me some small gifts, but they were of the kind that looked suspiciously last minute.
I tried to shrug it off, and I never told him that I was disappointed. I am grateful that his mother is close and loves to babysit and she is a dear woman, and at 80 years old won't be around forever. However, I DID make a huge deal out of Father's Day last year, so maybe he'll get the hint.
On the other hand, sleeping in is a wonderful gift, too.
As a daughter, my mom is now in a nursing home with Alzheimers, so in many ways, I no longer have her with me, so the day is bittersweet.
I'm in the same boat as Karen - had a 4 month old last year and was really looking forward to Mother's Day. The first few months as a mom had been difficult in several ways. All I really wanted was some validation/recognition from my husband that hadn't been forthcoming while I was pregnant or after my daughter's birth.
I didn't get it. Some pancakes and a mostly diaper changing free day. It was a big milestone for me and now the occasion seems tainted - I'm dreading Mother's Day a bit as I'm bracing myself for further disappointment.
I hate mother's day, but for reason's that are polar opposite of yours. I hate feeling obligated to honor my mother and buy her a gift because she made my life hell. Still makes my life hell. And then when I give her the ultimatum that I will not put up with her bad behavior anymore because I am 30 years old and I refuse to submit to her cruel manipulation I receive phone messages of her crying and trying to justify her behavior. She does not deserve cards or flowers or chocolates, she was never motherly to me and yet I still forked out $50 to get her a gift because its just easier to fake it than to deal with the fallout if I chose not to.
I love your blog...majorly. I am always so excited when you give an update. However, I can't say that I hate Mother's Day yet since this one will be the first one that I get to experience AS a mother. hehe I'll let you know how it goes....
Check back with me on Father's Day when I have to share that day with my fatherless children.
I don't hate Mother's Day----I kind of like having my kids appear at my bedside with breakfast at 7am. But, hell, I'm easy to please---some coffee, pancakes and a hand-drawn card, and I'm good to go. My mom had it tough though---her mom died when she was only 5, so I always think about those people who don't have a mom to hug at this holiday.
My Father's Day is your Mother's Day b/c I miss my dad so damn much on that holiday. Thank goodness I can channel my energy into the "kids' gift" for my husband.
As someone who lost their mother at age 2, its always been a meaningless day for me. I confess, that as I've gotten older a slight resentment/hatred of it has grown. Its very painful to watch TV during this period when every second ad shows a mother with her children, and knowing I never got the opportunity to do that.
Hearing what everyone else did for Mothers Day, again, can be hard. I still remember in first grade having to make a different card than all the other children because I had no mother to make a mothers day card for.
I hope that one day, perhaps when I have my own children, that it'll become a more positive experience.
I hate Mothers Day for a few reasons. First, my mother's birthday is May 2, so I am usually in the position of having to get her two presents within a very short time span. This wouldn't be so bad except that my mother is exceptionally hard to shop for.
Second, although I love my mother very much and we have a good relationship, it is not a typical "hearts and flowers," Hallmark-y type relationship. It's always been hard to find a card that "fits."
Third, though my father married his wife when I was an 18-year-old college sophomore, each year I am expected to send a card to my stepmother and call her. While I don't dislike my stepmom, I don't think of her as a mother. (Mind you, she has her own children and grandchildren, so it's not as though she'd be "forgotten" but for me.) Yet another awkward card-buying situation and an awkward phone call, too.
Finally, I am not a mother, and I hate it when people wish me a Happy Mothers Day. I've never appreciated it, and now that I have been struggling with infertility for the past several months, it's actually painful to hear.
Down with Mothers Day! It hurts many, mothers and non-mothers. We should all show our appreciation for our moms on a regular basis anyway!
I don't hate mother's day, which is surprising. I used to hate it with a passion and would cry every year in school when it was time for Mother's Day crafts (my mom passed when I was 8). Also, my husband sucks at gifts and is guaranteed to either ignore the day altogether or buy me something that he actually wants. like a video game. *sigh*
I am constantly disappointed in the treatment I get on Mother's Day, especially in regard to what my husband conveys to my kids.
My solution? I DITCHED them. Bought a plane ticket to Los Angeles, and went to visit MY MOM by myself. Have fun on Mother's Day honey getting up and dealing with your children BY YOURSELF.
No, not bitter much. Happy to be away in sunny, somewhat smoky California.
I so TOTALLY hate mother's day.
I'm glad that my kid isn't old enough to want to do something special for me yet. When she gets there, I'll try to buck up for her sake but until then? Meh. I hate it.
I hate it because my mom is gone, too. And that? Makes me BITTAH at those commercials and crap.
I hate mothers day b/c it is always the day before or the day after or ON my b-day and I'm sorry, but can't I just have a b-day. We always celebrate my b-day AND mothers day with my whole family and I just want my own b-day damn it!
I sound like a toddler.
Oh Chicky, I am feeling for you. It's Valentine's for single people, Christmas for Jews, Arbor day for tree-haters.
I only hope that one day the kids help you reclaim the day and make it as happy was you want it.
right there with you, chicky.
this year, it sucks. one, my grandmother just died. and two, i live 12 hours away from my mom, who is an only child. so she's trying to handle all the fun stuff, like bills and grams' house and estate by herself. dad and my brother are there, but it's different. i should be there. and i can't be and the whole thing just sucks rocks.
I hate Mother's Day. Loathe it. Abhor it.
Why?
Well partly because of my own shittastic relationship with my mother.
But mostly (alright, really) because it reminds me of my son.
I was his mother.
He isn't here anymore.
And there will never be a mother's day when I don't spend the day wondering if I didn't protect him enough, care for him enough, do anything enough to change the fate of that fateful night.
How can I celebrate motherhood when one of my brood is forever gone, reminding me that in some way or another, I will always feel like I failed.
Failed at mothering him.
Fuck I hate mother's day.
I don't hate it so much as feel awkward about it because we're supposed to be all "I love you, mom" and we just don't do that in my family, and I am ambivalent about it, anyhow.
And for myself, I find it awkward, too, because what I really need is time AWAY from my family, but it seems churlish to celebrate their love for me by running away from them... so how is it different to spend a day with them? How is that somethign for me? See, churlish, right? And awkward.
I am a birthmom, and every damned mother's day is a reminder that I was too fucked up to keep my kid.
Yep - I hate Mother's Day too. My mom passed away 11 years ago next week. The last time I spoke to her was on freakin' Mother's Day. No joke. Sounds like a Lifetime movie, I know. Whah.
This weekend is always a bittersweet one. My kids want nothing more than to celebrate me - WITH me. To celebrate from Friday with all of their made at school art projects all the way to Sunday with breakfast in bed attempts (or talk of). All I want is to drink or sleep away the weekend - pretend it doesn't exist. The crappy thing is my kids deserve to celebrate - just like I want to be able to celebrate MY mom. Why can't we just ban the "holiday" completely? You are so right Chicky, it would eliminate the problem!
My husband swears he was open to instruction, so that I could have the perfect Mother's Day. Hah! Well meaning, but not possible.
i hate mother's day too. my mom died in 1985 when i was 10 years old. now i'm 34 and i don't have kids of my own...though i do want them, i just can't seem to have them. all the mother's day crap just depresses me because i have absolutely no reason to celebrate or be happy on that day. i'm sick of the tv commercials shoving the holiday down my throat every 5 minutes. i'm getting sick of all the posts from my friends who are new mothers and gearing up to celebrate. it makes me feel sick. no one thinks of the people who don't have moms anymore. no one thinks of those who desperately want kids and can't have them. i'm just going to stay in on sunday because i know that if i go out i'm going to want to punch people in the face. i can't wait for sunday to be over...and i HATE wishing my life away...
I have spent the last two days crying and hiding from my kids because of this stupid holiday. My mom died last October and we moved 6 hours away in December. I have honestly, never felt so alone. Couple that with my husband working 12-hour shifts, 6 days a week for the last 3 weeks and you get a pretty screwed up person.
I HATE THIS HOLIDAY. Now, more than ever.
And I can't even read the comments because I'm crying enough already.
URGGGGGH.
(I do feel a little better for the vent. Thanks.)
I hate/love Mothers' Day. I hate having to "honor" a woman who hated being my mother and so never did it right. So I choose to honor her as a human being, in a small way, but I am really a motherless daughter. I love the day because of the adorable way that the littles get into making and hiding things. I love the way that the olders can express their feelings towards me. I feel proud of them and me on this day. And that's another thing. My own, never wished me a happy day. Never acknowledged that I too, had given birth. Seven times. She always acted like the day was just for her. I feel sorry for her now. But it has taken so many,many years to stop feeling sorry for me, because of her. But it's all perspective, and I got it!! God Bless all the nurturers, keep 'em strong!!
I don't hate it, I just feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm no one special. I'm simply me - take it or leave it. I feel uncomfortable putting people in a position where they feel obligated to do something uncharacteristic, like buy me a mushy card when they wouldn't have done so otherwise. Or to feel like they have to buy me something when I'm perfectly happy not receiving anything - a simple, heartfelt "thanks mom," or "I love you mom," is all I ever really want.
I feel uncomfortable that people feel obligated to make me feel special when I should already be secure enough in myself to not NEED that validation.
I don't like being the center of attention for simply being me, or doing what I should, or need, to do. I'm a mom, that's my job. And I'm doing it the best way I know how.
But I'm lucky. My guys are fantastic. Every day is Mother's Day for me because they always make me feel appreciated. I realize that not every one is that lucky - that a lot of people like the holiday because it IS a reminder to clueless loved ones about their role in the family.
All of these holidays that put pressure on people to do something out-of-character make me uncomfortable - Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, even my birthday. It's like we're forcing our loved ones to (grudgingly) admit that we're awesome.
And we're simply ... real.
Instead of setting aside specific holidays that retailers can cheapen, perhaps we should work on making every day the best it can possibly be. Every day should be a holiday because life is precious.
But what do I know, I'm just an ordinary, boring, run-of-the-mill flawed human being. And I'm okay with that.
Wow, thanks for allowing me to get that off my chest.
I don't hate it at all. I rather enjoy it. But, ironically, it enjoy it most when my husband takes the kids and just gives me alone time! That is the best present of all.
I intensely dislike the dreaded question that never fails to pop up about a week before MD; "So um, what do you want for Mother's Day?" and then the pressure to go out and find me something, because I never know. Seriously, I never know how to answer that. Oiy!
Despite your hatred of the day, I'm going to go ahead and wish you....
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
I hate mother's day. I have a mom that never loved me or chose me first for anything, yet when she has no other choices to choose from, expects me to drop everyting and run to her just to tell people she did something for mother's day. She has made my life hell many times over. I wish she would just leave me alone. I have no love for her. I used to feel sorry for her. Now I'm tired of feeling sorry for her. I'm a mother myself now and I try to do the opposite of everything my mom did with me so that one day, my daughter might actually know what love feels like.
I hate Mother's Day. I hate it much more since I had my own children. Because now I am balancing my expectations, my mother's expectations, AND my mother-in-law's expectations. None of which are remotely met. So everyone ends up feeling unappreciated and angry.
I also seriously dislike the way that motherhood is romanticized on Mother's Day. Moms are held up like perfect angels who give and give and give and never expect anything in return. You know what? I don't want to be that person, or that mom. And I don't want to be made to feel guilty for that. If my children fail to compose odes to my maternal perfection, that's fine with me because I will at least have my sanity left.
I will take my sanity over a stupid commercial holiday any day of the week.
I don't like Mother's Day because I feel torn between doing what I want as a mom and doing what my mom wants. Who's holiday is it, anyway? And, I never know what to do about my MIL, either. Do I send her a card, too? Someone always feels slighted.
I just love my Mom.
I hate Mother's Day just like I hate all contrived, Hallmark holidays. I ESPECIALLY hate mother's day because I am divorced and society doesn't seem to remember that single mom's exist. All of the marketing images of happy, smiling, well groomed MARRIED moms and dads make me want to storm a greeting card board room with a whole basket of pointy sticks.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Ah, that felt good).
I'm not a fan. It's too much pressure 'do what YOU want' but who's going to do what my mother wants and my MIL? If we don't do what she plans we don't see her then I have guilt. Why me and not her son? He did try to plan something with her and his brothers but she's too busy THEN can't we do something like. . . at 6PM when I just want to lay on the couch and be glad the day is over?
I'll be writing this post come father's day.
Bossy is not a fan of Mother's Day either. Fer christsake.
Chicky, that's been my nickname too since I was a baby and had peach-fuzz hair. Great nickname. It makes me warm and fuzzy any time a family member uses it.
I found your blog by googling "I hate Mother's Day".
Thanks for your thoughts. I liked reading all the comments too. The whole thing made me feel better.
MD is the worst day. I'm 34, happily married, but have no babies, & no hope for one. ALL my co-workers do nothing but talk about their kids all day long. My 98-year old grandma died last September, so this will be my 1st moms day without her. MY mom & my mom-in-law do nothing but ask, on a daily basis, why they aren't grandparents yet, & my husband won't even discuss the option of having a child--he is too selfish--self admitted. So WHY do we have to celebrate mom's day? Who knows. Maybe if I liked my own mom, I wouldn't mind. But really, the thought of a day that seems to be specifically engineered to feel like I knife right through my heart is well, just that. I'm glad I'm not alone in hating mom's day. To all the mom's out there who love their kids, good for you. To all those women out there who like to say things like, "you wouldn't understand unless you had a child of your own", I hope you choke on your crappy mothers day cake.
Hey whoever blogs here at Chicky Chicky Baby,
I just googled I hate Mother's Day and came to your thing.
I lost my mom last year to domestic violence from my dad, now i'm in foster care and hate my dad for doing that to my mommy. I'm pissed. Glad to know other people are as fucking sick of this holiday as I am, for whatever reasons they may have. I know there are so many people out there who love getting a chance to celebrate their mom's, because I know I used to be one of them, so I can't totally bitch out this holiday, but I know I hate it for personal reasons.
Whatever your blog humored me and made me feel less alienated, so thanks:)
I hate mother's day, not because of my Mom. She is great! It is because of my Ex and his mother.
I have two boy who are teenagers when we were going through our divorce, we got a divorce because he was abusive to me, he wanted me to be like his mother... I always said he should have married her instead of me. BUT, I wanted to be nice and let the boys go visit their father. OF course at the time I had no money, just getting out of a marriage where my ex did not want me to work I had just gotten a job, when I left he drained all checking and saving accounts, so it left me struggleing. Oh well, that is another story. When the kids got there my ex and his mother showered them with all kinds of gifts and money, so the kids called me and told me that they have decided to live with my ex and his mother. So now I face every mothers day with hurt and tears . I absolutly HATE this day. My kids don't even have the courtesy to call their mom on Mothers day. I am the one who spent hours up with them making sure they were okay when they were sick. I was the one who took them to their ball games, wiped their tears, listening to their break ups and heart aches.I guess all of that does not count when you do not have the money your ex does. I will be so glad when they finally get out on their own and see the truth of all the BS that my ex and his mother are not all that they seem to be. They are just really mean people, and I truly think that my youngest is starting to see this now and my oldest does not really care as long as they give him all that he wants.
It's okay though, whatever comes around goes around.
I hope she has a great day pretending to be the mother of mine and my ex husbands children.
she messed up so bad on her two kids she needs to use mine to make up for the mistakes.
I get my kids all summer so hopefully they will see the light this summer. If not I guess I will spend another year in tears.
Thanks for the support group. I sure needed this, this morning. Even if no one reads all of this it is great to just let it out.
Thanks everybody for posting and expressing your thoughts! One thing I'm realizing from reading what you have to say is that we all have it in some peaceful part of us to make ourselves feel better if we just accept that what we are feeling is true for us.
Here is it is...My mother punished us endlessly when we did not meet her expectations on MD.
I have raised biological, step and adopted children. Each one seems to have a different outlook on what they should do on MD. I have no expectations and sometimes they surprise me and sometimes they make me weep with sadness.
This year tends to be more on the weepy side. Obviously, if I am searching "I hate Mother's Day" things are not going that well.
I seem to love and enjoy my life every other day...this one is just creates anxiety.
Mother's Day to me means having to eat another far-to-fattening breakfast AND call my mother who I just spent 3 hours with yesterday for no reason.
It means that I get accused of double-dipping because my birthday is so close to the 2nd Sunday in May.
I can take it or leave it. I'm not my husband's mother and my kid is a sweetie any day of the year.
Meh, kind of annoyed with it.
I HATE, HATE, HATE Mother's day!!! I actually wanted to know if others did too so I did a search.
I'm having another rotten one, this time not because my 2 (adult children) forgot it, it's because they have never given me what really matters to me: consideration, understanding, real love in other words. On top, my mother died last August and even though our relationship was not the best, at least we did care about each other.
My children and I have not had a good relationship for a number of years, they like to put all the blame on me because in recent years (during which I've been sick and depressed) I've ran out of patience and have been "telling it like it is" and sometimes during an argument I've gotten carried away by my anger and said hurtful words, BUT what about all those year during which I was very loving and sacrificial, bringing them up as a low-income single mother btw? And even now, helping in any way I can?
I actually ended up sick due to too much stress while working, studying (to try to give them a better life which wasn't to happen...) and doing everything, with hardly any help from them in the way of chores and no "support circle" since my family lived far away. Heck, other teenagers would go and get a little job to help with their expenses but mine were "too good" for McDonalds or the places that would actually hire them, so they didn't work until after high school and then wanted to use all the money on themselves even if I was struggling (but I put my foot down and demanded a little help).
There's been years they've forgotten MD completely or remembered at the last minute and given me some leftover crap they found at Walgreen's. The only times I got anything worthwhile was when my daughter finally "got it" and began asking me beforehand what I needed. Were it not for the fact that they are very liberal spending on themselves or when they have to buy gifts for their friends, I'd never even expect anything from them but to show me they love me and today I returned their gifts because I refuse to settle for less than what I need and I feel brokenhearted.
I know that won't really make things better but at this point I don't care. Every time I see those women "dying" to have a child I'd like to tell them that sometimes, no matter how good a mother you are, motherhood is more pain than joy. I fear that all they're thinking about is that cute helpless baby and the little children who adore their Mom.
Mine did, I still have their hand-made cards to prove it. But now that I'm less than perfect, can't work or live a normal life I guess I'm no the mother they wish they had. Well, guess what even if they're "good" generally speaking, they're NOT the children I wish I had so it goes both ways!
Ah, and with their father having been a deadbeat who opted to completely disappear from their lives 8 years ago, I actually feel they should've treated me special also on Father's Day!
P.S. Surfergirl, I DO feel your pain, wish you lived in FL, we could be friends!
I hate Mother's Day because unless your husband was raised by a mother who actually taught him to be a thoughtful person, we get no gifts. I made my own breakfast and dinner yesterday. BUT, when Father's Day rolls around, you better believe I make sure the girls have taken care of him and shown him their appreciation of him! No cake or anything for me. That's ok, no one is home today and I can go buy my own cake and eat the whole damn thing myself!!!!
I dreaded this Mother's Day. DREADED it. I cried everyday last week; Friday & Saturday brought on the sobbing, I can't breathe, cries, which are far worse than the silent tears. This was my first Mother's Day without my mom and it's strange to realize, yet again, that she's no longer here and it sucks donkey balls (which she would smack me for saying). Granted, the day wasn't as horrible as I expected, but still, HATED it. I will say that my husband tried to make it better; I just wish I could explain to him that he can't. Unless he can bring her back to me, it's not going to be better. Thanks for this post and for making me realize I'm not alone in my hatred for the day.
At times, I've hated how Mother's Day is loaded with a huge sense of obligation. This year my mom lives out in another province so there was less expectation that I'd "out-do" last year. A simple card and a phone call seemed to make my mom happy.
I freaking hate Mother's Day and Father's Day too. If a person is special or celebrated then it applies to every day of life, not on some contrived day. It also creates an expectation of performance out of me and everyone else. Another opportunity for me or others to fall short at something. Complete crap. I hate these days from a child's point of view and also from the perspective of a parent.
I'm suprised more women aren't saying they hate Mother's Day because they don't or can't have kids. That's why I hate it. Moms are not more special than regular women! When is Women-Who-Want-To-Be-A-Mother-More-Than-Anything-Day-But-Are-Too-Ugly-To-Get-Married Day??
I seriously dislike Mothers day. there are a few reasons. One is that my birthday falls on Mothers day every few years. the other is rather depressing so i wont put it here.
I hate Mother's Day because i) it was my very unhappily married parent's wedding anniversary as well and therefore was one of those damned-if-you-do-and-bloody-well-damned-if-you-don't kind of days AND ii) because my first Mother's Day my daughter was two weeks old and my husband left that afternoon for THREE months of field work in Northern Ontario.
I don't hate Mother's Day all the way, but only because I've always wanted kids (and don't have any yet and still holding out for the dream) and in my family, we celebrate it as more of a female recognition day...
I do HATE a comment left on a social site by a "friend" that said, " I want to wish all My friends that are mothers a Blessed day May God!! Bless you!!! It's awesome when God allows you to partake in creation!!!!!!!!!!!" Which made me feel very NOT awesome because apparently I'm not special enough to have God "LET" me participate in creation...
And I always thought I was creative.
I hate mothers day too! And birthdays, but that is another post!
I haven't seen my mother, in approximately 15 years on mothers day. (there was once a long time ago, but can't remember the details...)
I used to have to HOST the festivities for my Mother in law every year, and stress out about what to buy her, but she is not, nor will she ever be, my mother! I don't buy my mother things, that's just not the way we do it!
I hosted, planned, cooked, bought groceries, cleaned for the event, and no one would even bother to help clean up afterwards. So after beating my head against a wall for about 7 years, I stopped hosting!
Now we still go, but someone else hosts, usually my mother in law herself, because no one in that family will have it at their place! But this year, I gave my mother in law the gift that I bought myself for mothers day, because my husband doesn't buy me anything! So she has MY GIFT, and I have nothing but guilt for not buying her something, for thinking that husband should be buying her something, for buying her something too cheap, for not buying her something, every year it is a different guilt, but guilt none the less, and so I hate the occasion all together! I HATE spending the day with her, resentful that I don't ever get the CHANCE to spend it with mine! I see my parents about 5-6 times a year, and my in laws way too often!
I want no stresses about mothers day, fathers day, or birthdays!
I Googled "I Hate Mother's Day" and found you! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!
I joined the ranks of the Mother's Day haters twenty years ago when my mom died of cancer. Every MD is a horrible reminder that she is gone.
Adding to my anguish was my desire to have a child of my own. Now that I'm in my 40's it's not even possible anymore. That makes it
truly hurtful when people wish me a Happy Mother's Day.
I also hate Mother's Day. It's a constant reminder of the pain my mother caused over the years, the fact that she is somewhere, likely on a diet of alcohol and self-loathing, and without her kids because she destroyed everything beautiful in her life. I am sad for her, I am sad for my brother and I am sad for myself and especially sad for my kids.
Every Mother's Day I think of her for days and it consumes me and makes me miserable, depressed and incredibly sad.
I'm late to the game, but I'm also a serious hater of mother's day. Lame holiday. I lost my mom at 14, got yelled at by my stepmom for not honoring her on mother's day at 16 and have generally hated it ever since then. This year was my first mother's day as a mother myself and I was all amped thinking it was going to be awesome and finally not so shit-tastic. Then my mother-in-law, who throws a big bbq bash every year for the day, decided she was tired of hosting and she wasn't doing anything at all. Gee. Thanks. Assholes.
Not so fast, Bossy always knows what she wants for lunch. Food. Lots.
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