It's time to bring this ship into the shore, And throw away the oars forever.

I can't put it off any longer - I need to finish this question and answer thing I signed myself up for. So let's bring this big old leaky ship into port, shall we? Before it sinks in the hah-bah and brings me down with it.

My new girl crush, Foop, asked: Would you go back and change something that you did in your life if it meant that you'd be a different person in the present.

There is no easy answer to this question. I'd like to say no, because I do believe that everything I've done in my life, for good or bad, has directly impacted who I am as a person today and overall I'm pretty happy with that person and where she is. I've been inappropriate and made some downright questionable choices in my life, but here I am with a man I love, a daughter who challenges me and another one on the way who, I'm sure, will follow in her sister's adorable footsteps.

If it sounds like I'm sidestepping this question, you're right. But I'm not sure how much I want to share on this blog so you'll have to be happy with the scraps I give you. For now.

(Hey look over there! It's a change of topic!)

Foop also asked who did my blog. That would be Izzy. I highly recommend working with her. She rocks as much as those pretty shoes in my blog header do.

The wonderful Kyla said: I'll be easy on you....are you coming to BlogHer?

Unfortunately, no. If they had picked a more central location for the conference I might have been able to swing it. But I don't think I'll be up for a cross-country trip six or so weeks after I push this baby from my lady parts.

But do you know what this means, all of you who are going? More wine for you! Whoohoo!

I am considering meeting my Canadian sisters up in Niagra Falls though. Those ladies have a powerful hold over me. The chance to hang out with them might convince me to pack up my wee baby just to get my fill of the Canucks.

On that same topic,my friend Jen asked: Did you and Redneck Mommy get it on at Blogher last year? I've always been dying to ask you that. You can be honest, it's ok.

Redneck Mommy was gracious enough to be my roommate for last year's Blogher, but I'm not answering this question. What happens at Blogher, stays at Blogher. You of all people should know that, my dear. I do, after all, have a picture of you and T. in a rather compromising position.

Heh.

Kittenpie, one of those aforementioned Canadians who might convince me to get my bruised and battered lady parts off the couch and up to the Falls because I love her so, asked: I would like to know how you came to love them (Dogs) and work with them and how you go about being qualified for such a thing and if there is a breed you like best.

I've always loved dogs. I think my normally shy nature needs their outgoing personality to bring me out of my shell. As quiet as I can be (no, really. I'm very quiet in person.) I become a completely different person when working with or talking about dogs. I'd like to think a better person.

As for how I came to work with them, now that's a bit of a long story and one I was hoping to include in the next installment of Alpha Bitch. I'll be writing that this week, hopefully before I head off to the Johnson and Johnson Camp Baby shindig, but if not, right after.

My favorite breed? Labradors. I love me a nice lab.

I even married a lab.

No really. If I were to describe a creature who puts swimming, catching a frisbee, long hikes and then taking a long nap with his favorite person at the top of his list of things he loved most in life as well as almost always being in a good mood, friendly to everyone he meets, extremely smart and amazingly loyal and loving, you might think I was describing one of my dogs. But it's actually Mr. C.

Training my dogs has been easier, however. Eh, Mr. C is a better kisser. There's a bit of give and take with every relationship.

If I had to choose another breed, I might go with the Welsh Springer Spaniel. But I've never owned one. Yet.

Manic Mommy, a fellow New England gal, asked: How does Chicky feel about becoming a big sister? Have you decided on a name? What's your due date? Are you two and through or would you ever consider a third?

Wow, this could be two or three posts. But for now the easy answers are -

She's getting used to the idea but I don't think she'll understands how much her life will change yet. I think she'll be a good older sister once she gets past the jealousy of having to share our attention. Now that will be a hurdle.

We've almost decided on a name. Mr. C picked it. It seemed fair since I picked Chicky's name. I don't love it but I'm learning to.

I'm due on May 25th but I'm almost hoping I'll go a bit early. I'm so done being pregnant and uncomfortable.

We were supposed to be one and done but things changed. And that, my lambs, is what belongs in another post. Three is not even a possibility. If I wasn't superstitious, Mr. C would already have his man parts snipped.

Sandra, yet another one of my Canadian loves, had a two-fer: What advice do you wish the grown-up Mrs. Chicky could have given her teenage self?

Stop being so afraid and take chances. Even if you fail, it will be a learning experience. And learn to open your mouth and speak up for yourself. People will respect you more if you're a bit of a bitch than if you continue being a doormat.

Oh, and lose the blue eyeshadow and the huge mall hair. It's not a pretty look for you. Neither are the pinch-rolled pants and the acid washed jean jackets.

I really wish I could go back in time.

Her second question was, When are you moving to Canada????

Have I mentioned how much I love these women? And I know she wants me up there for me and not for my free dog training advice... Uh, right Sandra?


My favorite Redneck asked: If you could go anywhere in the world for a free vacation, where would it be and what would you do?

Yes, T., I would love to go hang out with you in Redneck land, having pillow fights in our PJs and braiding each other's hair, but since you know that already I guess I'll have to come up with another answer.

It's a hard choice. I'd love to go to Scotland or Portugal to see where my great great grandparents came from but I'd also love to go back to Italy for an extended tour and see the entire country. I've been all over Tuscany but I'd love to see Rome, the Amalfi coast, Umbria and maybe take a short stop in Venice, just to say I've been there. Mr. C and I have a soft spot in our hearts for Italy. We were engaged there. We tried, unsuccessfully, to conceive Chicky there. We have wonderful memories of that beautiful country.

Eh, screw the ancestors. I want to go back to Italy and have some kick ass food and wine.

And finally, FINALLY, my friend and neighbor Sarah asked: Your dream house? Where would it be and what would it have to include?

I just can't leave our family, so let's pretend my dream house is here in Massachusetts. I'd prefer to live closer to the coast so I could be near my sister and the ocean. I'd love to live in a custom Cape (Cape Cod style) house that had four bedrooms, a dedicated office for my darling, hardworking husband, a large dining room so we could have more dinners with friends and family and a gourmet kitchen. Also for my darling, hardworking husband. My pitiful attempt at meals are not worthy of a 48" Wolf gas range or a sub-zero fridge, but my man can cook. Woo, can he cook.

It would also sit on an acre or two (at least!) of land surrounded by trees so my kids and my dogs would have room to run without feeling like we're on top of our neighbors. It would have a large in ground pool because all those I love seem to be part fish and a tile patio where I could put my lounge chair and watch.

There would be hardwood floors and large windows to let in the sunlight. A large master bath with a jetted tub, because I, not being part fish, prefer to soak while reading a good book with the door locked. A family room off the kitchen, with loads of built in bookshelves, where my kids could play and I could keep an eye on them while trying to learn to cook. And a sunroom, to take in the few months of nice weather we have up here in the north country.

It's out there somewhere. I may have to sell my soul for it but it might be worth it.

Whatever house we settle into, I want it to be comfortable and inviting. And large enough so I can invite you all over for the housewarming party.

Just bring wine. I'm not going to be pregnant forever.