Thursday, October 26, 2006

Where I gush like a school girl with a crush

How great are you guys? Seriously, feel free to assign yourself a level of greatness because I couldn't possibly do it. I don't think I could find the words to thank you for all the kind words, sentiments, and been there done that's on yesterday's post. Let's just say that I've been having a crappy time of it lately and your words lifted me up, dusted me off, smacked me in the back of the head and told me, to borrow a phrase from Cher in "Moonstruck", to Snap out of it.

You guys are so fabulous. I want to give you all a big smooch. With tongue. Because of what you guys said I think I need to put out a little bit, but I don't go all the way. I'm not the kind of girl that falls into the sack over a few pretty words. You deserve at least some frenching action.

I want to gather you all up in a little ball and put you in my pocket. I want to keep you safe and warm and feed you bits of cake and pull you out when I need my ego stroked. Which is often.

Because the amount of stroking needed is inversely proportionate to the size of my ego.

Maybe I need to start making daily affirmations a part of my routine. I'll squeeze them in between tantrums. I need to learn to take a deep breath, pull out a hand mirror and channel my inner Stuart Smalley:

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.

Har. Get it? Doggone it? Dog Gone it? Gah. No shame, I have no shame.

But while we're on the subject don't forget to send in those dog pictures for Dog of the Week to doggoneblog@yahoo.com. If your dog is picked for the dubious honor you win absolutely nothing but you will have my respect and my cheeky comments on your dog's picture. That should count for something, not much but something.

Okay, I'm done with the shameless self-promotion.

Mainly because I'm tired. So very tired. I attended the funeral of my great uncle today (no need for condolences, this was one of those times when a person's passing was the kindest scenario) and since I don't have midday sitters I had to bring Chicky with me. Funerals are tiring without having to entertain an 18 month old, so today was doubly tiring. It was a very small service with just family and close friends so her presence wasn't strange or unwelcome. Actually, she was a big hit, showing off her mad eskimo kissing skills doing tricks for cheese crackers. But even though there were other young children there for her to play with it was still a stressful time, being on pins and needles, hoping she wouldn't melt down in the middle of the eulogy.

She didn't. She was perfectly well behaved. I'm the problem, me and my inability to relax when it comes to my kid's behavior.

Maybe it's because, as a first child myself, I feel the need to have everything be just so. Maybe it's because I'm a first time mother. Maybe it's because I have no idea what I'm doing but I want everyone to think I do. Maybe it's because my kid was colicky for four months and to this day I still twitch when she screams, thinking the colic is back.

I think a movie monster should be named "Colic" or at least "Ciloc". All the mothers of colicky children in the audience of that movie would get a huge kick out of that inside joke.

Run for your lives! The Ciloc is coming! What shall we do?

Quick! Get the gripe water and giant infant sling! Damn, does anyone have an extra extra extra large clothes dryer and baby seat?

Anyhoo... The kindness you showed me here and the love you're spreading out in blogland is music to a stressed out mama's ears.

I'm done gushing. I need to go zone out to Ugly Betty. Ah, fluff TV. I thank dog for you.

34 comments:

mrsmogul said...

My kid is teething and has eczema and I want to run away.

Blogland is great and very reassuring!

One day, you will laugh about the colic and I will laugh about the teething.

Tracie said...

I know what you mean about an inability to relax about your kids behavior. That whole part described me completely--she is my first kid and I want everyone to think I know what I am doing (but I will admit here and now....I'm not that sure that I do) I find myself living in fear of a public tantrum. Sometimes I think that my nervousness about the whole thing makes her worse....it is a sad slippery slope. Anyway-thanks for letting me vent!

Michelle O'Neil said...

Strange as it may sound I think every funeral should have a baby in attendence.

When my daughter was a baby, I brought her to my husband's grandmother's funeral and her presence just seemed to help people.

Glad you are "feeling the love" in bloggyville.

: )

Lisa said...

I remember those tantrum days. All too well. They sucked. But eventually, they do get over it. Thank GOd!

lara said...

ha! i was laughing out loud reading, "I want to give you all a big smooch. With tongue. Because of what you guys said I think I need to put out a little bit, but I don't go all the way." hilarious - thanks for the laughs. and, of course, the offer to put out (but only a little bit). :-P

crazymumma said...

Bringing a child to a funeral can be a reminder to everyone that life goes on. Condolences...

Mommy off the Record said...

I got scared just reading your description of Ciloc. Ahhh, the horror!! Anything, but that!

Waya said...

I was over at another blog where the mom dealt with reflux for the past 2 years with her daughter and it just breaks my heart to read all the things that they have to go through. Luckily it has paid off and she's off medications. The persistence of a mom to find a cure for her daughter is just selflessly ceaseless.

Beck said...

Our babies are exactly the same age, and I've brought mine to many a funeral (small town, elderly population) - I think babies can sometimes sense when they are needed to behave well, or perhaps it's just the weirdness of the funeral itself, but my baby always behaves beautifully. In church on Sundays, she does NOT.

IAI said...

GC attended a funeral at @ 9 months. Big hit, she was. Almost as big as the evacuation of the church and all the fire trucks when the alter caught fire. No joke. I think it may have been the lightening strike when I walked in the building ... not sure.
Thanks for the tongue ;-)

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

"Maybe it's because, as a first child myself, I feel the need to have everything be just so. Maybe it's because I'm a first time mother. Maybe it's because I have no idea what I'm doing but I want everyone to think I do. Maybe it's because my kid was colicky for four months and to this day I still twitch when she screams, thinking the colic is back."

Are you in my freaking head AND heart, or what? I think I love you. Hold me.

Avalon said...

Ahhhhhhh, long, long ago, I had a baby. She was my only and I wanted her to be *perfect*. I stressed myself silly over her behavior, her clothes, her intelligence, her thumb-sucking. She was also miserably colicky for the first 5 months of her life. She had to be medicated, it was so bad. Your post whipped me right back there....22 years ago. i remember vividly how stressful all of that expectation could be. Now, I wish I could go back and slow it all down, laugh about it more and find some enjoyment even in the bad moments. It goes by waaaaaayyyy too fast ( and i used to DESPISE people who warned me of exactly that!) Hang in there. One day, Chicky will be almost 23 and you will marvel that your terror has become your friend.

MotherBumper said...

Daily affirmations work Stuart. And because of your recent posts I have to admit that the blogsphere is full of love (and not the porno kind). (((HUGS)))

Isn't Ugly Betty great?! I always loved Spanish speaking soaps and the english redo of Betty the Ugly is well done.

T. said...

I had to bring my six month old nephew to a child's funeral yesterday. Bad enough to bring a baby, worse that he's not mine, and the huge suckage to have to attend a six year old's funeral just added up to mountains of stress.

And you got it, right when the eulogy was being said, my little monster let out the biggest shriek he could muster because I wouldn't let him tongue my eyeglasses.

Little bugger. When I wished for my sister to have a demon baby I should have thought about the fact that I would be babysitting said demon child. Hmmm...

Now I'm off to choose a pic of my doggie so you can post inappropriate comments about how his mommy can't potty train him (or corral him into his crate.)

Because after I called you hairy on my blog today, I'm pretty sure the gloves are off!

cinnamon gurl said...

I love seeing kids at funerals. Especially kids who are too young to understand the sobriety of the occasion and behave accordingly, like yours. Even if they totally melt down, which, although I haven't been to too many funerals (thankfully), I've never actually seen at a funeral. It helps to remind us that life goes on, that the departed survive in our memories, and that we owe it to the next generation to share those memories.

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

"I want to give you all a big smooch. With tongue." - Too funny!

I just saw Ugly Betty last night for the first time. It was actually pretty funny. I missed "The Office" for it (which doesn't happen often)

MrsFortune said...

(Tony The Office was a re-run last night, btw, so you didn't miss anything).

I too, watched Ugly Betty last night for the first time. Not a bad show at all, although I do sort of resent that "she'll be pretty when she gets the braces off, loses the glasses and gets the eyebrows plucked" ugliness. KWIM?

Anyway, I know what you mean about your child's behavior... Jacob is barely able to ... well, he can't do anything, but still I am worried about him being too loud in public.

jennster said...

*closes eyes and waits for kiss*

kittenpie said...

Rowr. Might just have to come visit after that...

Hey, if mamas can't understand the trials of being a mama, who can? That's what we're here for.

Lawyer Mama said...

"Maybe it's because, as a first child myself, I feel the need to have everything be just so. Maybe it's because I'm a first time mother. Maybe it's because I have no idea what I'm doing but I want everyone to think I do. Maybe it's because my kid was colicky for four months and to this day I still twitch when she screams, thinking the colic is back."

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! I completely understand.

nomotherearth said...

We had the months of colic as well, and I SO get your Ciloc monster. It was so hard, and to this day, eventhough he's generally happey,whenever I hear him start to cry, my shoulders bunch up in a knot and I brace myself for the long haul. Gut reaction.

carrie said...

Bringing a toddler to a funeral service is a brave AND stressful feat. But, I'd be willing to wager that her baby blues charmed more than a few of your Great Uncle's comtemporaries and lifted their spirits a little!!! Good for you, and this whole "not relaxing" thing, well that's what good parents do, they pay attention to what their kids are doing and are aware of situations when a misbehaved child would be soooo inappropriate - so, hats off to you!!!

Carrie

Lena said...

Okay, I'm totally sending my demon dog's pic.

And Ugly Betty? Best Show Evah.

Mamacita Tina said...

I tense up every time I'm out in public with the kids. Heck, I tense up at home. Tantrums are running amok here too. I'm clicking my beer bottle against your wine glass and saying, "Hang in there, it's got to get better."

CrankMama said...

Well.. I'm drinking wine and it's only 4pm my time..
HURUMPH

In other news, I sent you a quick email to your hotmail about the Blog Exchange...

I'm looking forward to it.
Rachael

Momish said...

Oh, I am so glad I read your post today. I was just sitting here stressing over an invitation we got to go a friend's house tomorrow. Friends without children. I cannot even count the amount of breakables they have at knee level. It's insane, all those dust collectors. But, you made me feel a little less nervous. I tend to be over anxious about my daughter's behavior too(she is my first and 18 months as well). I needed to hear you say that out loud to really notice that is both normal and OK!

jen said...

am so glad things are a bit rosy-er your way, god knows you've got the karma stacked up in your favor...which is why you receive it back in droves, sister. truly.

Ruth Dynamite said...

I can totally envision a preview for the horror movie "Colic."

SNL? Ya reading? Would be very funny.

Ruth Dynamite said...

The doggie version could be "Drool" - where victims shriek and collapse to the floor after a slobbery dog shakes its head, splattering everything within drool-shot with toxic slime.

Her Bad Mother said...

Give yourself a great big hug for kicking everyone in the ass to get back with the love.

Aw, hell, I'll do it for you - (((hug))).

liv said...

What is it with the head games that first time motherhood puts on a girl, anyway?? I remember being an absolute nutcase, and actually feared taking D anywhere outside of the block that I live on. Congrats on a sweet Chicky at the memorial service. Please tell me she wore her trademark shades!

kittenpie said...

Tagged ya...

Chaotic Mom said...

Daily Affirmations by Jack Handy in between screaming fits? ;)

I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I'LL NEVER QUIT YOU!

beth said...

I can totally relate to the fear of the returning Ciloc. It's so true. Every time Sam cries I am reminded of those months and so now I do so much to keep him from freaking out for fear that it will return.