Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Love is all you need

(Yeah, this post is long but really, what were you going to do anyway? C'mon, take some time and read. It will be worth it)

** Edited below because really? Why not?

If you've been reading my blog with an regularity I think you would agree that it's not in my nature to blog about blogging. Yes I do reference my own posts from time to time (Oh, I've gotten so sappy - flog flog flog - oh what is wrong with me - flog flog - I promise no more moonbeams and rainbows - flog.) Sure, I do a Meme every once in a while and I reference other bloggers when the occasion calls for it but I'm not one to fall prey to the subjects circling the blogosphere, specifically the ones from the parenting world. I didn't jump in to the feminism debate or the working vs. stay at home mom discussion. I held my tongue as much as I could when "blog politics" was the subject du jour. It's not that I don't like to jump into a good debate or join the vox populi but for the purpose of this blog it's just not my bag, baby.

However, since I love to contradict myself there is a theme in the parent blogs that has ruffled my feathers and I feel the need to write about it:

To Blog or Not To Blog.

I was originally going to get into how a blog is just that - a Blog. And writing that blog, unless you draw a majority of your income from it (and if you do how'd you like to share that info with me? Hmmm?), should not take over your life to the point that you feel torn between family and computer. I was going to write that yes, this little blog of mine has gained me access into a community that I never dreamed I would be a part of but the thought of not being part of that community has woken me up from much needed sleep trying to think of what I was going to write the next day to stay active and relevant (sad, I know). I was also going to write how, because of those sleepless nights, a few months ago I seriously thought about chucking the whole thing and closing the door on this chapter of The Life and Times of Mrs. Chicky.

But I didn't and I won't and I'm not going to write about that.

Instead I'm going to write about how others deciding to close up shop, even the one's who have decided to announce that they need to take a break and not write or comment as much, has affected me and what I'm going to do about it.

Wait! Don't go. It gets really good. It's not one of those posts (the feelings. The feelings! Ack, more rainbows and ponies!). I promise.

A number of bloggers (you know to whom I am referring so I'm not going to post links) have called it quits, or called for a time-out, due to a number of reasons. Blogging burnout, stolen content, other endeavors, you name it. The bottom line is that people, perhaps writers that you have started to consider friends, are not going to be around anymore, and I don't know about you but that's made me kind of sad. And sadness, my friends, breeds sadness. It doesn't help that in most of the northern hemisphere we're experiencing a change of seasons and that, combined with that afore mentioned sadness, is spreading negativity like wildfire throughout Bloggingland. More and more posts are about the War on Toddler-ism (or Kid-ism in general, but Toddler-ism sounds better) and how we're getting worn down by it, unhappiness about the state of their current life or living situations, body image, cankles, scurvy, leprosy. It's all gotten to be so... so... Depressing.

What has depressed me the most, however, is the idea that people are pulling out cardboard boxes and newspaper to pack it up and others are picking this time, when the person is saying 'See Ya Later', to tell the blogger how much they've loved their writing and that they're really going to miss them. Why do we wait until the end to tell other's how much we really enjoyed having them around? Why do we wait for that final post, or the one threatening to end it all, to say "No! Don't go! I love having you around! Your writing means something to me."?

Why don't we tell someone that we care about them, or dare I say "love" them, before they're walking out the door?

No offense to the people who fall under the categories above ('cause I'm one of them) but if we continue on this path we're going to be writing ourselves a one way ticket to a large barrel of antidepressants. What we need is a little pick-me-up - of the non-alcoholic/pharmaceutical kind - to lift our spirits. So I'm proposing this to you, internets:

Write a post, a shout out, a holla, to your favorite blogger of the moment to let them know how much you love what they're doing. And then once you've written it drop me an email or a comment and I'll compile of list and post it on November 3rd.

Now, before you get all squeamish about that word I just used let me first tell you that as a dyed in the wool New England woman I do not throw around the word "love" all willy nilly like. Sure, I'll throw around terms like 'willy nilly' but love is a word I reserve for special occasions. Like Birthdays and Anniversaries and when I want something expensive. If the word "love" is too scary you can use the safer "lurve", "luv" or "loooove", or for those of you who are really squeamish about it, "Gosh, gee, I really kinda like you". You could love this person for anything from a particular post (Jozet, I really loved how you wrote about bats) or something as silly as their profile picture or their site design (T. that 60 foot woman on your header? Rwaaawr. Love it!). Tell them you love them for anything, just tell them that they mean something to you. Don't wait until they're gone.

This blogger doesn't have to be another parent or even someone you comment on regularly. Hell if you want to give a lovey shout-out to Dooce I say go for it. Superbloggers need love too. Do you want to write about how much you love Waiter Rant? Okey dokey. It's still love. The point is to spread some cheer at an unexpected, but necessary, time. Don't save your love for February. Don't wait until Thanksgiving to say how much you're thankful for this person. Do it now.

So go, dear friends, and write about a blogger you love. Spread some cheer and sunshine and rainbows (Ha! Fooled you. I said there would be no more of that but I lied.). Because someone might be a little down in the dumps and need that bit of a lift that you can't get with a prescription. And, please, spread the word. Tell others about this and get others to join in. Spread the word and spread the love. Spread some creamy peanut butter on that love, I don't care, just say something nice about someone.

What are you still doing here? Go, spread the love.

(Disclaimer: Mrs. Chicky and Chicky Chicky Baby are not responsible for stalkers, messy blog breakups or awkward moments as a result of this lovefest. If your latest blog "love" starts leaving you 20 comments a day and 50 emails you may want to seek professional help. If you think you may need help please include a "safe word" with your comment or email and then use that word when it's time to move on from the blogging relationship. Someone will be dispatched to aid in your blog divorce.)

** I know there are some of you out there who love every single person on your blogroll. But what you really have to ask yourself is "Is it love or just infatuation?". Try to narrow it down to either someone you're really all hot and heavy for, and not just a passing fancy, or someone (or maybe even two or three people) who really needs a shot in the ass of love. Scratch that last one, it sounds too dirty. How about someone who really needs some cheering up? Yeah, that sounds better because for a second there this Lovefest was turning into something else entirely.

77 comments:

Dana said...

I'm writing this as I type. Okay, not really, but you know what I mean. I'll be back with my linkage.

Great Idea, Mrs. Chicky!

petite gourmand said...

can I just say that I luurve you?!
I.D.D.T.
I.N.D.D.T.
xo pg.

but seriously, great idea, and I couldn't agree more.
it's time to spread the love.

Bridgermama said...

What is up with all the "love" stuff. I have been drowning in my woe-is-me moment and then you go and spread sunshine. I will try to pull myself from the muck and share some love. Be back soon.

Lisa said...

Ehat a cool idea. But what if you love ALL of the blogs you read? And you read bunches of them? Can you do a post on ALL of them?

kittenpie said...

What Lisa said - the thing is, if I don't love someone, I take them off my blogroll and stop reading, so everyone on my blogroll is someone I enjoy reading regularly. How do I handle that?!

Jess Riley said...

Mrs. Chicky, you are awesome!!! For the record, YOU are one of my favorite bloggers and I feel LUCKY to have "met" you in this strange and pixelated parallel universe.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Petite Gourmand and Jess - Aw shucks, that's awfully nice of you guys.

Lisa and Kittenpie - C'mon, you can think of one or two of them that really need a compliment can't you? You don't have to narrow it down to one but I think you can pick a few out of your blogroll to single out. I'm sure the others won't be offended.

Blog Antagonist said...

What a great idea! I'll work up something for tomorrow. I don't know how I will choose though. There are so many fabulous bloggers out there. I'd like to pick someone who is not as high profile, someoen who doesn't yet have much exposure. I know how much it meant to me when Izzy and Mom101 mentioned me when I was first starting out.

And yes, we should tell bloggers more often how much we dig them. Good post. And I'm glad you're not quitting. I was afraid that's where it was going. WHEW.

julia said...

There are so many bloggers that I love to read that I'm not sure I can pick just one. I'm going to feel very bad about leaving off the other 8 billion blogs and then good old Puritan, Catholic school guilt will kick in, which will make me feel depressed and that's a one way ticket to the big ol' vat of anti-depressants you were on about (which sounds like an excellent idea and someplace I'd like to be doing the backstroke right about now and I don't know why you say it like it's a bad thing). *big breath* Aaaaaanyway. I'll try. But I doubt I'll be able to limit it to one.

something blue said...

I see your willy nilly and I raise you a wacky tabacky. I'm so ready for this love in! So git yer lurve on and count me in.

P.S. I heart you. I really, really do.

mamatulip said...

What a great idea...I'm really looking forward to reading all of these posts. :)

scribbit said...

I'm all for some linking loving--I love Julie's mental tesserae at:

http://mentaltesserae.blogspot.com/

Not only is she smart AND funny but she's a prof at my old alma mater so I'm loyal. She's rather new, check her out.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I love it. I'mma getta workin'.

ECR said...

Sounds lovely. I will be happy to participate. Thanks for the kick in the bloggin' butt.

Elizabeth said...

I'm guessing you read my latest post then? The one in which I boo-hooed about how I was tired of blogging for comments and not for myself? And then I got a whole bunch of wonderful comments from people I didn't even know were reading my blog saying how much they liked it?

Like Julia, I doubt I could pick just one. I have an idea though, so I'll work on it. OH, and if you want to read a definitely not depressing post, stop by my blog. My Dad got married!

sunshine scribe said...

You are so right. Why do we wait for people to leave or consider leaving before we tell them how great they are.

This is a long over due shout out and I am glad you shouted it.

Count me in. But I may be a bit slow ... anniversary this weekend and I am one of the blogging-less chicky's these days. But this is good, good, good.

Damselfly said...

Mrs. Chicky, I love you for doing this! You're right; we need to be more positive. OK, **I** need to be more positive.

Denise said...

Oh man, earlier today I posted that I would off the radar for awhile as I need to "get my head together", but you may have just inspired me to keep at it! I'm quite sure I will not have stalkers, as I really only have about three readers, two of whom are related by blood.

T. said...

Oh, I love you too Mrs. Chicky, and I'm not ashamed to say it.

I love you!!

I'm all over this like a fat kid on candy.

Bobita said...

Mrs. Chicky...I love YOU! (she says with cheeks blushing...)

I sooooo love this idea! I'm all over it!

margalit said...

I'm on top of it, Chicky. And I want to add that I love you, too. I was hoping that you were going to be at Blogtoberfest Thursday nite, but I didn't see your name. And I looked!

mo-wo said...

Fine. Alright. I will post out for one I do revere thank you. Like I need another project, but you're right damnit.

Mommy off the Record said...

I've loved you for as long as I can remember being a blogger, Mrs. C. And I don't say that to just anyone! :)

Great post and fantastic idea. This is just what we need at a time like this. Will get to work on something for ya.

candy said...

Well taking your advice. I love you!!! You are where I come when I need to be cheered up I hope you never decide to throw in the towel. In fact you are one of a couple who after reading what you wrote I decided to try this blogging thing myself. Thank you for being you. You are appreciated!!!!

ali said...

http://www.dasbecca.com

my personal favorite. hands down.

but everyone else...you know i love ya!!

CPA Mom said...

I.LOVE.CHICKYCHICKYBABY. So there.

Great idea! I'm going to have to peruse my 96 daily reads and decide who to share the love with.

Pattie said...

I'm on it! This is a great idea. Oh.....
P.S. I love you.

:)
Is that weird? Hehheh....

beth said...

This is a great idea. It certainly does seem that many of us have been feeling down about blogging lately. I've noticed it too. It's time for a little pick me up.

jennster said...

this is super nice and a cool idea. i dig it.

all of this goodbye-ness however, reminds me of my message board- people CONSTANTLY post that they are leaving, to get the slurry of "don't go" or "we lurve you, don't leave!!" messages to them. and then they stay. and it always pissed me off in the first place that they faked leaving. if you're going to leave, why not just do it without making a big to-do about it? or if you're going to leave, but don't want the comments begging you to stay, then turn off comments. i'm jaded to these announcements of leaving. or i'm just jaded in general and not making any sense, so i'll shaddup.
side note- i'm sick people. lol

Kristi said...

Done.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

Yeah, I have a list of about 15 blogs so far...I guess I hafta widdle 'em down...
It's so hard to choose though...

Tabba said...

I love your idea. And I will definetly be trying to figure out my fav.
However, I wanted to throw a few thoughts out here - like they count for anything.
The idea of letting someone know what they mean before they're leaving should also be applied to our daily lives. How many times when speaking to our children, or even our mates, we always gobble up the negative like dip on Superbowl Sunday. But the sparkling, good things we barely acknowledge. We should remind ourselves that it extends beyone the bloggy world....
Also, the whole idea of commenting just to get comments reminds me of year book signing in high school. And shouldn't our thoughts on our blogs be worth more than that?? I always had this idea that my blog was a journal. Full of the thoughts that needed to be purged. I'm happy to get comments & I'll admit that I get jealous when I see people with these huge pools of commenters. But we should blog for our own satisfaction.
And I have to agree that I have noticed a lot of negativity. Even on my own site. What IS the deal??
Spreading sunshine is in order.....
I am by no means trying to debunk your wonderful idea or argue. These were just things that occured to me as I was reading your post.
I do love your writing by the way & am relieved to read someone who doesn't believe things should be all kittens & ice cream all of the time.
How refreshing!

dodo said...

i'll be sending them this


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuL5gFRNr18

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

Ack! So many....

Don't know if I can choose just a few. The whole parent-blogging thing has gotten much larger in the last year.

bubandpie said...

I'm still making up my mind on this one. Does choosing one person to love really spread the love - or does it just tell everybody else, "I don't love you all that much." What if there are certain bloggers that everybody loves, and others who aren't getting any? Then our blogging lives start to feel like our sex lives...

radioactive girl said...

I tried to comment this morning (but it didn't work) that it sounds like a great idea and I am going to have trouble choosing from the blogs I love. I better get to work!

Nancy said...

I do love you, Mrs. Chicky. Especially because this is such a brilliant idea.

And I absolutely love that you said "a shot in the ass of love." That is a pretty damn snort-worthy expression.

I'm all over this. Now to choose, since one of my personal very favorites is someone who just retired...

croutonboy said...

That's a good and noble sentiment...thanks for proclaiming it!

And here I was getting tired and thinking about taking a break, too...

Kristen said...

I don't write anything worth stealing, so I have no fear of stolen content lol. I love this idea and as soon as I figure out which of my many loves (I'm such a blog hoe lol) I love the most- I'll let you know LOL.

Her Bad Mother said...

This is SO NEEDED, my dear. Will get on it.

And when you do post that list, maybe you could include a link to the Mommy Blogger Love-In list from May (And perhaps, too, the Dad list from June, because they're people too!) - it might help the mood to remember all the love and good thoughts that were swirling around. And to think back on why we love the 'mommy' (or mom, or mama, or whatever) blogging community so much. Not to flog it (it's old news, after all), just thinking that it's a good source of inspiration.

bubandpie said...

I often think I'm like the son in the parable who refuses to obey his father to his face, but then goes and follows his instructions behind his back. When asked to do something I always say "no" and then go and do it anyway. So my addition to the love-fest is up (right at the end of the crazy meme I did today). And you're right - it feels good to spread the love.

Mrs. Chicken said...

I'm late to the party (as usual) but I'm in. I'll be back with my link tomorrow!

MotherBumper said...

Late as usual, but I'm in. I'll be back with my link. Amazing idea and post Mrs. Chicky, well done.

Izzy said...

I wrote a post tonight of a similar nature and though I hate to do the dreaded "meta" post, I did because I, too, have noticed the blogger funk and have succumbed to some of it myself.

Great idea and will try my best to choose just one blogger that I L-word :)

mothergoosemouse said...

I love you, Mrs. C. I will participate as well.

Kristin said...

Great idea... I am in!

jen said...

i heart chicky and her terrific ideas. i will do it this week.

K said...

Cool. mine will be up Friday.

penelopeto said...

hmmm. i've always been a bit of a slut, but i think i can be blogonomous just this once. i'll have my post up this week.

(great idea chicky!)

Joker The Lurcher said...

hi ms chicky - just found your blog because of a link to this post on jen's. great idea! i have always said that the "spreading random acts of kindness" principle makes the world go round.

i've been blogging since summer 2005 and only recently have people been commenting - suddenly its all worth while!

i will dash off now and in true lurcher fashion will run round cyberspace in circles at lightening speed, spreading joy and love!

Waya said...

What a great idea Mrs. Chicky! Sometimes we don't say "I love you" to people we love often, but we should I know. But to profess our love or lurve or looove to a blogger on our blog? Hmmm, I'm afraid I might get a restraining order slapped on me.

I have to say that I love reading your blog though. There, I said it!

EC said...

As a fellow Masshole (Yeah, I still say that, lol) who has recently moved to North Carolina (shoot me now), I have to say that I LOVED that saying, the dyed in the wool New England woman saying. I've never heard it, but it can't be more true of myself!

You have a great blog, and I'll be sure to stop by again!

krista said...

I am surprised to find myself mama tulip so much. Sometimes you don't realize how much you like someone till they're gone.

Anyway, I like this idea. I am in. I need to think, there are so many to choose from, but just one right?

Ok, I can do this.

Ruth Dynamite said...

There you go again, Mrs. Chicky. Spreading the love.

Great idea. I'll get right on it!

Mama C-ta said...

Oooh great idea. Now I just have to remember to do this and not lay awake for days trying to figure out which person(s) to choose. Way too hard.

Momish said...

I came here from Her Bad Mother! I am a relative newbie blogger, but still had to jump on this. I think it's great! Thanks for creating such a wonderful event! I posted my tribute tonight. It was hard on one level, because so many wonderful bloggers make my day, everyday. But, on an whole other level, it was almost instictual.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

This was too difficult!
But I did it:
http://princesstinkfoot.blogspot.com/2006/10/share-loveblog-style.html#links

Mad Hatter said...

I did your bidding:
http://madhattermommy.blogspot.com/2006/10/sending-out-little-love.html

jen said...

linky link link
http://droolstreet.blogspot.com/2006/10/chickfest.html#links

cinnamon gurl said...

I jumped on too... http://writeabouthere.blogspot.com/2006/10/22-things.html

Great idea!

Thailand Gal said...

Miss Chicky,

Thanks for the wonderful idea of letting other blog writers know we appreciate them. I tried to think of a "favorite" and can't do it. I appreciate all the blogs I read regularly for different reasons, so I can't single one out. Still, your idea is a very good one and I am going to at least make a note in my next post that I appreciate all the insights, humor, supportive and intelligent posts I am able to learn from and enjoy each day.


Peace,

Thailand Gal

~*~*~*

Mom101 said...

You rock a million ways to Sunday. How I missed this I don't know. Pregnancy brain? Alternate reality?

Mert said...

I luuuurve this idea, LOL!

I myself have been just plain burned out this month, and the thought of blogging caused me some discomfort, mostly because I thought that I have nothing really to contribute to the blosphere.

OK, this isn't a plea for love, honestly.

I have gotten soe "love" recently, and I think it's time to give back. :O) Thanks for reminding me to stop being a selfish poo, and to spread some bloggin' love.

T. said...

Mission accomplished, Mrs. Chicky.

I've posted my bloggy love in piece today.

And a huge pat on the back for having such a great idea.

Dana said...

Okay! I've totally spaced on this, but I've got my entry all ready to post on November 3rd. I saved it as part of NaBloWriMo, so here is the link to My Favorite Bloggers post. But remember it won't be on my site until Friday! Yay!

This was such a great idea!

Mombat said...

It's a virtual blogger Woodstock thanks to you, Mrs. Chicky.

My post will be up tomorrow. Let the lovefest continue.

krista said...

I finished mine. I love this blogger

Thanks for doing this Chicky!

wendy boucher said...

What a great idea! I took October off (for good happy reasons and now I'm happily back) so I didn't see this until today. I can't wait to see the posts.

Crunchy Carpets said...

Finally..and late...

Here is mine....

http://www.crunchy-carpets.blogspot.com/

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