Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The silent enemy

It greets me at the door when I come home. It's with me still when I leave.

It follows me where ever I go.

If you come to my home it will follow you as well. You won't be able to shake it.

It's in the food my family consumes. In the liquid we drink to quench our thirsts.

It's in the air we breath. Underfoot, overhead, in every direction we turn it's all around us.

And just when I think that I have rid myself of it I turn to find it's still there.

There is no escaping it.

What is it?





Dog hair.

For the love of Pete, the freakin' dog hair. My Dyson Animal was empty when I started. Can you see how high the level of hair is in the canister? It's almost at maximum capacity. In case you think I'm a lousy housekeeper I did a thorough vacuuming the day before yesterday. Less than 48 hours and one brushing session since I vacuumed last and this was the amount of hair on my floor. Alright I am a lousy housekeeper but I vacuum pretty much every day, dammit. Now you know why.


The problem and the solution

Forget what I said before, I hate fall. The dogs are blowing their coats like crazy. When the hell is winter going to get here? At this rate these damn animals are going to be bald before the snow flies.

Hmm... Bald. I wonder what a lab would look like bald?


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38 comments:

carrie said...

Look on the bright side, if you didn't have that gorgeous "animal" (I so covet yor vacuum cleaner) with which to gather all that dog hair, you'd have no idea!

ps. the culprit is pretty gorgeous too!

Carrie

radioactive girl said...

When we had our dog, we used to call the stuff puppy tumbleweed. It would roll down the hallway after us. I vacuumed every day too. But on the bright side, we never knew how much food our daughter dropped at dinner until we didn't have the dog anymore. It's a trade off I think. Either you vacuum up the fur, or the food your daughter drops. At least this way you get a beautiful dog!

Blog Antagonist said...

My oldest cat is an orange tabby short hair. I never noticed a hair problem when he was the only feline in the house. Then we got another one, and though it was marginally more bothersome, it was manageable. Now we have three cats (it was an accident, don't ask) and I swear to god I could knit my kids' entire winter wardrobe out of what the three of them leave on the floor, the beds, the furniture. Where did all this hair come from???

I have a Bissell Lift Off Turbo and it does a decent job of getting it up, but I am tired of vacuuming every flipping day.

Needless to say, I feel your pain.

Waya said...

Ha! I knew I changed your mind after you read my post on fall. ;-)

And I need that Dyson since I shed like a dog after kids.

IAI said...

Swiffers. God's gift to dog owners with hardwood floors.

julia said...

I have vaccuum envy. I covet, nay lust after, one of those Dyson Animal vacs.

My damned dog is shedding like crazy, too. I have one rug and I could vaccuum it every day and there would still be dog hair there.

julia said...

Oh, and have you tried just vaccuuming the dog?

Kristen said...

It is the bane of my existence.

Damselfly said...

Hey, that looks just like my vacuum, only with cat hair. You know it's bad when you squeeze your toothpaste tube, and cat hair comes out...

Crunchy Carpets said...

We haven't noticed too much yet...but I am called Crunchy Carpets...

The cats shed so farking much that anything the dog will do will be nothing compared to them!

I want a dyson... I think I will ask for one for christmas...which is sad...but that is my life.

Mommy off the Record said...

I have a Chow/Retriever mix and her hair is EVERYWHERE. On my clothes, in my food, on my toothbrush. It's gross but I've gotten used to it. It's protein, right?

We have the Dyson All-floors and it works pretty well, but I had to spend an hour cutting her hair out of the coils the other day. I'm sure if we had the Animal I wouldn't have to do that. oh well. Hindsight is 20/20.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

We just bought the animal! (The dog and the Dyson.) So far, I love the Dyson much better than the dog. He's a Boston Terrier pup and he poops and pees everywhere...does the Dyson pick up wet too???

Mama of 2 said...

Well Oz (my siberian husky) is also blowing his coat...and honestly I could run the vacumm every few hours and still end up with enough hair to build another dog. So I can sympathize.

CPA Mom said...

And that my friend, is why I have a Maltese. Tehehehehe...

Jonathon said...

This is why Lady-A won't let me get an enormous hairy monster dog.

But I want one so bad.

(Shut up Jonathon, you'll never clean up the hair.)

T. said...

Oh, memories of my beautiful Golden Lab, Gunther.

It was so sad when the beaver killed him. (Sadly, I'm not kidding.)

While I miss him, I don't miss his fur. We used to toss the hair outside so the birdies could build nests with it and keep warm.

Now, Nixon, the World's Greatest Dog, Ever. he just sort of half ass sheds.

But he shits everywhere. Bugger.

mothergoosemouse said...

I love my Dyson Animal. We have animalistic relations in every room of the house, even though no other animals live here.

Stacy said...

love your new look! oh and the dog hair, at least you have a lab. I have a chihuahua who sheds just as much. there's no excuse for a tiny rat like that to shed as much as a lab.

Ruth Dynamite said...

And this is why I shaved my dog. Can't stand the hair.

But I'm buried in it. I cough hair. (not really - but I probably could if I tried hard enough)

Maybe it's time to take up knitting?

Pattie said...

Oh boy! Yes, I remember that well. We had a dog, and I would hate when he would blow his coat. It would be EVERYWHERE!

I like Ruth Dynamite's idea, though! I actually used to know someone who would knit Christmas ornaments shaped into little sweaters on mini hangers out of her dogs hair. It was cute and disgusting all at the same time. Maybe you could knit a nice blanket from it! :)

SJ said...

So you love the pet Dyson? It does that good with dog hair? I have three dogs, I am frightened to think what that vacuum would do in my house. Beautiful dog! And I love purple....maybe I should get one.

sunshine scribe said...

Oh my god! Look at all that hair!!!

This is the reason my husband and I are at odds about getting a dog. I'll never let him see that photo.

Ericka said...

dyson animal? what is this creature of which you speak? i have a LONG haired cat. her ruff around her face gets several inches long if i don't keep it clipped. i have tumble weeds of cat fur.

added to that, my hair falls past my waist so i have tumble weeds of ericka hair too.

AND that d*mn*d kitten is getting her adult coat in and i think she's going to end up long haired or close to it as well!!! drat, darn and blast.

so, i feel your pain.

btw, i LOVE overboard. great strip!

Christina said...

LOL! Yeah, we have the same problem with cat hair, which is why from now on we will never have another long-haired cat. Only short-haired Siamese.

However, that lab hair migrates, too. Cordy's grandpa has a yellow lab, and thanks to the once a week visit to his house, we now have yellow lab hair in our house.

Lisa said...

Ahhhh. The dog hair. Looks like you could make six new dogs from all of that dog hair!

DOn't cha just LOVE the Dyson Animal, tho?

kittenpie said...

So tell me truly, Chicky lady, is the Dyson really the be all and end all of vacuums? Before I start instructing Misterpie to save up for one?

Lena said...

WHEN were you in my house? I have the yellow lab. I have the Dyson Animal. I have the bitching too! ;)

Avalon said...

Oh yeah, exactly why I love my dogs. NO SHEDDING!! Please remind me of my happy, joy dance in 4 weeks when I spend the ENTIRE DAY grooming the fools!

Poopydigs said...

Oh, I found a DYSON buddy. Don't you love it!!

Yes, we have the same problem. That's why we had the groomer shave our Aussie/Chow mixed friend down to near bald.

It's saved us all from near insanity.

We'll let it grow back when winter shows its ugly head.

beth said...

You know, I have identical pictures to those - same purple Dyson, but filled to the brim with grey and black cat hair. So gross. I empathize. I do love my Dyson though!

JayJenny said...

You are SO not alone, I feel your pain and frustration. I have a German Shepard and Alaskan Malamute of my own to clean after. Good luck, it seems never-ending, so it's good that they're so sweet and lovable!

Kristin said...

OMG the fucking dog hair! As the pet parent to 3 dogs (2 of whom are evil shedding labs) and also the proud owner of the same sassy purple Dyson with the pet hair attachment, I vaccum twice a day...

Kristi said...

I saw this book in the library that you might want to look into...it was called:

KNITTING WITH DOG HAIR!!!!!!!

I threw up a little bit in my mouth when I saw that. But maybe you'd be interested.

Michelle O'Neil said...

Fancy vacuum ya got there!

I'd get one, but then I'd have to justify it by actually vacuuming!

Mom101 said...

I saw that photo and I swear, my first thought was wait...that's my photo!

English Bulldog hair, ugh. Both copious and stubborn. Let's just say I have to wear my out of style quilted coat during Winters now because the wool one...well, looks like the product of the Knitting with Dog Hair author!

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

I think you can build another dog with all that hair.

Mrs. CPA said...

The St. Bernard, she sheds like a mofo. We vacuum our one 8x10 peice of carpet every week and it fills up our canister two times. And then TP has to do some work on the intake stuff.

something blue said...

I swear that my floors are covered with more of my hair than my pets. I guess I'd make a good dog!