Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm... 34


I think I know why most of my posts of late have been so unbearably heavy.

Today is my birthday.

whoopee.

I guess today is no different from the others. It's sort of a non-birthday, if you ask me. I mean, 34 is nothing to get excited about. Except for the fact that I am now officially in my mid-30's. Somehow that milestone doesn't compare to the day that I could finally walk into a bar and order a fuzzy navel or a sex on the beach or whatever horrible concoction I was drinking when I turned 21. It's not a turning point, like leaving your 20s behind. No special privileges will be granted to me, as I have already reached the age where I can vote, buy a pack of cigarettes (if I smoked, that is), enroll in the armed forces and drive a car. What else is there to look forward to?

Come on AARP membership card!

Ooh, how about qualifying for the early bird special discount? Or getting into the movies for half price? Good times ahead, I'm telling you.

I'm not feeling melancholy because I'm turning 34. I mean, 34 is young. I'm in the prime of my life. I'm melancholy for the simple fact that it's my birthday. I'm always a little blue on the day that I should be celebrating my birth. I have no idea why. The days leading up to my birthday, either because they coincide with the change of the seasons, the first days of school, or the beginning of another disappointing fall television line-up have always put me in a deep blue funk for as long as I can remember.

But I'm done being woebegone. Today is my birthday, dammit. Already this morning, as every other one of my birthdays for the past decade has started, I received a phone call from my Nana. After hearing me say "Hello" she doesn't utter a word herself (a huge feat, if you knew my Nana you'd know how hard that was for her) and after a second instead of her voice I hear the metallic notes of the Happy Birthday song coming through the phone. The origin of the sound? A novelty singing birthday candle that she pulls out for every one of my sister's and my birthdays.

How can you have a bad day when the first phone call you receive is your grandmother and her amazing singing birthday candle?

While Chicky Baby is napping, I'll be putting together the kickass gift that Mr. C gave me last night.

And in case you're wondering why I got my birthday present the day before my birthday... The man can't wait to give gifts. If it were up to him we wouldn't open our Christmas gifts on Christmas Day, or even Christmas Eve, but on the eve of Christmas Eve. It's sweet, really, but it sometimes makes the actual day a little anti-climactic. Although, in this case I'm glad I gave in and opened the gift. For those of you in Michigan wondering who the hell is playing the loud music, that would be me, blasting the new John Mayer album. But it will be "vibrant, detailed sound that will revolutionize the way (I) experience (my) iPod." It's the best gift ever. I bet it will even make Raffi sound good. Or I may be going a bit far with that.

But I digress.

I think I'll take my birthday money and go by a pair of shoes or maybe two pairs of shoes. It is my birthday. And tonight, Mr. C will probably make me dinner (or at least bring home good takeout) and we'll share a good bottle of wine. My birthday will be a quiet affair, just the two of us after our daughter goes to sleep.

Well, not too quiet. After Chicky Baby goes to bed, and the dogs are put away for the night, and we've shared our lovely meal and wine and maybe something chocolate, you will hear coming from my house...

Crystal clear Bose quality sound.

What did you think I was going to say? It's my birthday, not his.

44 comments:

metro mama said...

Happy Birthday!

I'll be thiry-four in a few months.

For me, 25 was the worst b-day.

k.thedoula said...

Awesome gift! At least you haven't got the new Barbie with the dog you can feed and it poops. NO JOKE! I squealed with horror and delight when I saw the commercial last night...
Happy Birthday! 34 is great. I'm edging closer to 35, day by day...
Have a great day, don't forget to tell us about the wine! Wine, oh yes, wine!
sigh...

Pendullum said...

Put on The Beatles and play They say its your Birthday from me...
Yoohoowww
Happy Birthday you youngin' ou!

motherbumper said...

SWEEEET sounddock, Mr. Chicky has great taste (but we already knew that).

Happy Freaking Birthday BABY! Go buy some shoes, drink lotsa wine and remember: there are a whole lot of bloggers out here in the blogsphere toasting you on your B-b-b-birthday! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday To You! (that's me singing...) Have a great one. The singing candle. Tee hee. Your Nana is so cute.

That is a very cool gift. Hope you spend the day happily dancing to some sweet tunes.

Liberal Banana said...

HA -- awesome ending to this post! So true, so true.

34 isn't mid-thirties anyway - 35 is!

Now go buy some shoes, woman! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

beth said...

Happy Birthday. Try not to feel down. I do that too each year...and sometimes on New Year's, but don't let it get you. Get some beautiful shoes and go out and drink a fuzzy navel.

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh. Happy birthday!

Pecos Blue said...

very cute i liked this

Will said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Don't spend your day mourning lost youth or all the things you thought you'd accomplish by now. Don't look at yourself in a full length mirror naked. Don't look for grays. Don't count laugh lines like the rings of a tree...don't hide in a closet and drink some vodka and wait for the day to be over.

Like I said, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

(We can't all be cheerful well-wishers, can we????)

Cheers to you...hope you have a good one.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday lady. I say a new purse is in order.

Anonymous said...

PS my blogger confirmation code was

mhumn

So see - it agrees. A PURSE.

Radioactive Tori said...

Happy Birthday!!!! When I turned 31 it was a tough one. I wasn't upset to be 31, just bummed that all the "good" birthdays seem to have already happened. 34 is still young! Have a great birthday!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday you young thang!
Enjoy the rockin tunes!

Nichole said...

Happy birthday! Have a bite of chocolate for me! (I've been craving chocolate all week!!! I AM DYING!)

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

kittenpie said...

Oooh, I must say, I am the opposite. I loooove birthdays. After all, what other day is all about me?

Anonymous said...

What did you think I was going to say? It's my birthday, not his.

LOL - Happy Birthday.

moplans said...

Hehehehe
Happy Birthday
Enjoy your speakers. I think I can hear them from here.

Mama of 2 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. CHICKY

Sounds like you will be having a nice day. Enjoy yourself and let Mr. Chicky pamper you. You deserve it.

Carolyn S. said...

Happy Happy Birthday! 34 is a great age. You have appropriately earned respect for your years of experience, yet remain young enough to pull of dancing on bars and wearing hooker boots. Congratulations on your 34 years of accomplishments! Miss you.
-Carolyn

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!
"my birthday, not his."
HELL FRIGGIN' YEAH! Enjoy the ... Bose.
Think it can be rigged to play the Birthday Candle tune?

Blog Antagonist said...

LOL! Your last line was so funny, because that is EXACTLY the way it is in our house. All husband wants for his birthday is some good nookie and on my birthday, I get the right not to, should I so choose.

Your Nana sounds cute.

Happy 34th Birthday. Don't be blue. Save it for 40. I myself plan to have a spectacularly self indulgent pity party on my 40th bday. ;?)

IzzyMom said...

Happy birthday, fellow Virgo! I agree, the mid thirties birthdays are not that exciting but enjoy them because if you don', when you're perched on the edge of forty, you'll regret it. Trust me. I'm old and I know stuff ;p

Creative-Type Dad said...

Happy Birthday!!

I got an AARP membership invite mailed to me when I turned 30 (????)
I was really upset.

Amy said...

Happy Birthday! And hooray for the i-pod! Hope you have a lovely evening.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! And 34 isn't mid thirties! It's still early 30's IMO. Go with it.

Jenny said...

Happy, Happy Birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day. Where in Michigan? We're near East Lansing and I wondered where that noise was coming from!
Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!! 34 is a good one. Really, all birthdays are good...consider the alternative!!

Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! It only gets better!

Major Bedhead said...

Happy birthday!

Anonymous said...

Wow..I must have been sleepy...
I thought I had posted a happy birthday wish to you!!

Many happy returns !!!!

Michelle O'Neil said...

Happy Birthday! Funny...in your blog picture you don't look a day over 2.

Anonymous said...

Buy two pairs of shoes girlfriend! It's your birthday! Happy B-day!

KELLI BELLY said...

Happy Birthday to you! Hope you have a good one. This is my first time here. Mama-cta sent me on over because I'm having dog issues :0) I Need some advice and thought you might help. So if you get a chance please stop on by. Thanks :0)

Christina said...

Happy birthday!!

Hope you had a great day! Today is my grandmother's b-day - she just turned 86!

Anonymous said...

Happy belated birthday! And hey, I'm 34 too. And I'm always melancholy.

Ruth Dynamite said...

I hope you had a great birthday, Mrs. Chicky! Every day is precious and worth some cake(or cookies - I know you like cookies.) Have a cookie, or eight, and enjoy!

Jess Riley said...

Happy birthday (a day late...) hope you enjoyed it. :)

josetteplank.com said...

Happy belated birthday!!!!!

34 is the new 24! (since 40 is the new 30)

Hope it was wonderful!

Sandra said...

Damn I missed this. Happy belated Birthday!

I turn 34 in November so you are clearly much older and wiser :)

carrie said...

Sorry I'm late, Happy Happy Birthday to you!

Hope you woke up the neighbors with your new John Mayer!

Carrie

Heather said...

Happy (now belated!) Birthday! I can't believe I missed this post earlier. We September babies rock. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! Sorry I am late -- sounds like you had a good day.