It would be cheaper to tape his mouth shut

How to guarantee you'll need a new car:

Sit down with your wife to discuss your finances. Talk about how certain things will be paid off by a certain date as long as your car keeps running well, therefore keeping you both out of a second unnecessary car payment. Specifically point out that there shouldn't be anything to worry about in that department unless "the transmission goes".

Watch your wife visibly cringe because she thinks you jinxed things.

Scoff at your wife's unreasonable jinxing fears.

Maybe make a crack about how she worries too much.

Come home from work one afternoon less than a week later and mention how your car won't go into reverse anymore.

Start making plans to purchase a new car.


How to keep the peace in your marriage:

Start listening to your wife more. Or invest in a lot duct tape.

That dweam within a dweam

Yes, I still have writer's block. So when I saw that Julie had done this meme about our spouse's I decided to steal the idea and run with it.

And for the record, I hate the term "spouse". I prefer "Love Sponge".

Besides, the poor guy gave me two beautiful babies, the least I can do is showcase him on my blog. Which is something I would do more often but he's shy. It's kind of cute actually.

Plus, the meme was done by Dooce. And apparently it's making it's way across the internet. And I am a lemming! Which way is the cliff?? Let's jump!

So here you go - The Couples Quiz. Mawwiage...

What are your middle names?

Mine is Lynn. *Yawn* Moving on. Mr. C's is Sewall. He's a direct descendant of this guy. He may have famous ancestors but at least mine weren't responsible for killing innocent women. So there's that.

How long have you been together?

We met in June of 1999 and started dating some months after that. There was this teeny tiny thing about me being married at the time that sort of got in the way...

Moving on.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?

It was more than a few months. I honestly don't remember. No really, I'm being serious. What are you insinuating?

Who asked whom out?

It kind of happened organically but let's just say it wasn't me doing the pursuing.

How old are each of you?

We're both 36 but I'm a couple of months older. And he never let's me forget it, the bastard.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

My sister, definitely. We'd love to see his sister more often but she and her family live half way across the country. It's a bummer because I really like her.

Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?

Ooh, tough one. I'd have to say his work schedule. Between his traveling for business and the need for him to be completely wired to work 24/7, it puts a bit of a strain on our relationship and, more importantly, on the girls. But we do our best when we are together to make the most of our time. We fail a lot, but we're trying.

Did you go to the same school?

How do I put this? Hell-to-the-NO. Our schools couldn't have been more different.

Are you from the same home towns?

See above. I can't stress that Hell No enough. If I can compare our towns to alcohol - His hometown is a 1939 Macallan Scotch. Mine is Schlitz.

Who is smarter?

He is. But if you tell him I said that I'll stab you with a jagged, rusty Schlitz can.

Who is the most sensitive?

When it comes to that icky love stuff, he is. When it comes to puppies and kittens and injustices in the world, I am.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Eat out? What is this thing "eat out"?

If I had to pick one place, I'd say the local tapas place. We love tapas. And sangria. And tapas with sangria. And sangria with sangria.

Where is the furthest the two of you have traveled as a couple?

Tuscany.

Who has the craziest exes?

I think I answered that already.

Who has the worst temper?

I scream, yell, throw things and have broken at least one piece of furniture in my day. He hardly ever raises his voice. I win!! Whoohoo!!

Who does the cooking?

I married him because he's a fabulous cook and I can burn water. Now he's too busy with work and I'm doing all the cooking. We use the microwave a lot.

Who is the neat freak?

I always say that as long as he has a clear path from the bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen to the TV and out the door he wouldn't notice if there were dead bodies stacked 5 feet high on either side. So I guess I'm the neat one in the relationship. I would notice them at 3 feet high.

Who is more stubborn?

He would say I am but I have no idea what he's talking about. NO. IDEA. And you won't be able to convince me otherwise.

Who hogs the bed?

He does. But mostly because he's bigger than me and harder to push.

Who wakes up earlier?

Mr. C, definitely. I would sleep until 3pm if you let me.

Where was your first date?

He took me to a driving range. *Insert inappropriate sexual metaphor here*

Who is more jealous?

I'd say we're equal on that one.

How long did it take to get serious?

Moving on...

Who eats more?

He does but I'm a bigger snacker.

(And right now he's reading this and bitching about my metabolism. Suck it up, buttercup. Heh.)

Who does the laundry?

If it wasn't for his work shirts and the close proximity to the bathroom, I don't think he would even know where the laundry room was.

Who's better with the computer?

Since he works in the computer industry I would have to say him.

Who drives when you are together?

He does and I bitch the whole time. Good times, good times.