Thursday, March 20, 2008

Why yes, if all my friends were jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge I'd yell "Hey, wait for me suckas!"

Since I spent my entire first trimester whining and moaning about my constant morning sickness I feel a little sheepish complaining about the CONSTANT, EXCRUCIATING, OHMYCHRIST MAKE IT GO AWAY PAIN IN MY PELVIC REGION. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. PLEASE? FOREVER AND EVER AMEN.


I can't stand, sit, walk, move, put on my pants or my socks, lie down or breath without this agonizing pain knocking the wind right out of me. I feel like Pregnant Barbie and the little girl who owns me decided that it wasn't good enough for my legs to go back and forth so she decided to stretch them outward until the right one snapped off my freakishly sexless pelvis and then reapplied it with masking tape. Or something like that.

What I'm trying to say is, pain and discomfort are taking over my life these days so my brain can only think "My GAWD the PAIN, shcoyousoduc, @@$#%^$#$^*&. Shazbot." and "Where the hell are the gawd damned COOKIES?"

So I was kind of hoping you could help a woman out.

It seems like everyone and their sister is opening up their comments for questions (and as much as I would like to link to everyone who is doing it, I just don't have the energy. So I guess that means I wouldn't like to link to everyone who is doing it. Yeah.) and I consider myself to be as lemming-esque as the next person. So whaddya say? What would you like to ask me? Anything, I'm an open book.

Hell, I don't even care if you're running all over the internet asking the same question of everyone. Do I look like a woman who is in search of authenticity?

[Hair in disarray. Dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep due to pelvis pain. Lying on the couch with legs splayed awkwardly out in front of her on an ottoman. Half eaten box of Girl Scout cookies on the cushion next to her. Cookie crumbs scattered on her chest. Scratching at her swollen belly.]

[You think I'm kidding?]

What would you like to know about me? There must be something I haven't shared on this blog in the past couple of years that you're interested in knowing. Even if it is to inquire about where the On/Off switch is for my whining and bitching.

I'm sure Mr. C would like to know the answer to that one, too.


OhTheJoys said...

If you could have dinner with four fiction characters... who would they be?

All Things BD said...

What TYPE of cookie crumbs are currently scattered across your chest?

Also translates into, If you had to pick just one cookie to marry, what type would it be?

motherbumper said...

If you could learn any single skill a la Matrix (ie. upload to the Mrs. Chicky platform with no significant effort), what ONE skill would that be?

Heather said...

Lets see...What's your favorite book and why?

And the pain? In the pelvic area? Me too. It sucks. My OB said to take ibuprofen until I'm 36 weeks, then after that, just suffer I guess. But I've been suffering anyway so it doesn't make any difference anyway.

NotAMeanGirl said...

If you had to choose between a Colonoscopy with no anesthetic or a root canal with no anesthetic which would you choose and why?

Christina said...

Oooh, you're getting some interesting questions!

What is the most embarrassing thing that EVER happened to you in high school?

Mandy said...

Okay, I'll bite.

What's the worst thing you ever did for money? (Define "worst" in any way you wish.)

Mackenzies Momma said...

If you had the super power, what ONE thing would you stop/preform in the world(i.e. world peace, ending hunger etc)

justmylife said...

Feel better. I will throw you an easy one. Favorite cartoon character and why? See easy. Wait, new here, you have children right? Well, my husband watches cartoons, so.....

Velma said...

What are the two things you've done in your life you are most proud and ashamed of?

foop said...

Would you go back and change something that you did in your life if it meant that you'd be a different person in the present.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Psst. . .Mrs Chicky---regarding Not a Mean Girl's question---I've read that the colon has no nerve endings, so I'd shoot for that. Yeah, you gotta get the tube past the part of your bum that DOES have nerve endings, but it's a pretty skinny tube---just think of all those women who get much more up there!

Oh, and now a question: Other than animal welfare/rights/anything to do with animals, what 'cause' gets your blood thumping through your veins.

And, will you be totally truthful with your girls when they someday ask, "Did you ever try drugs?" or "Did you ever have sex before you were married?"

Kyla said...

I'll be easy on you....are you coming to BlogHer?

Girlplustwo said...

did you and RNM get it on at Blogher last year? i've always been dying to ask you that.

you can be honest, it's ok.

kittenpie said...

I'll ask two things.

1) Hey, are you doing anything the weekend of BlogHer but want to stay more, r, somewhat more local? Talk to me, Chicky.

2) Dogs. I would like to know how you came to love them and work with them and how you go about being qualified for such a thing and if there is a breed you like best.

Oh, was that more than one?

Manic Mommy said...

How do you feel about being preganant? Just kidding.

How does Chicky feel about becoming a big sister? Have you decided on a name? What's your due date? Are you two and through or would you ever consider a third?

Anonymous said...

Two questions...

1. What advice do you wish the grown-up Mrs. Chicky could have given her teenage self?

2. When are you moving to Canada????

mamatulip said...

I've had your comments box open for like, twenty minutes now, trying to come up with a decent question. Or two.

I am drawing a blank. A serious blank.

So I'm going to fall back on my old standby, a question I always like reading the answer to:

Best concert you've ever seen? about worst concert (or live performance) you've ever seen?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Would you like to have a bigger, reserved parking spot for Moms? You can vote for it on my blog!

Anonymous said...

You'd better tell Jen what happened in Chicago stays in Chicago.

Or I may have to post a certain picture of you passed out hugging the porcelain throne with your ass up in the air.


Now, onto the questions:

Whose your favorite Redneck?

Too easy? (Get it...easy...redneck...wink, wink.)

If you could go anywhere in the world for a free vacation, where would it be and what would you do?

And while I know you are going to say Canada to the Redneck's house to drink with her while having pillow fights wearing only our jammies, try to think a little more outside the box.

Smooches to my large pregnant friend.

Sarahviz said...

Your dream house? Where would it be and what would it have to include?