Friday, December 29, 2006

It's HERE!

What's here? OMYGAWD! My new computer, that's what's here.


(ouch, I never squeal, that hurt.)

Yeah, I decided on another PC instead of a Mac. I'm an old dawg and I don't like learning new tricks. I have a great time teaching others to roll over and play dead - but having to deal with the 'close' and 'maximize' buttons on the left instead of the right? Fuhgedaboudit. Not for all the hot dogs and peanut butter cookies in the world.

Besides, this one was cheaper than a Mac and I'm cheap frugal.

But isn't it lovely?

Don't you just want to lick it? Go ahead. Visualize yourself running your tongue along its nice, shiny new screen. Ahmmmmmmm.

Stop looking at my lack of a manicure. I just bought a computer, I can't afford a manicure.

I haven't even booted it up yet, I've just been sitting here caressing it.

When the UPS guy showed up at my door with box in hand I was so excited I nearly humped his leg to show my appreciation. But I could clearly see from the expression on his face that that type of behavior would be frowned upon.

Spoil sport. His loss.

This computer could not have come at a better time because two nights ago while, ahem, "borrowing" some music from one of Mr. C's co-workers for my iPod (Don't steal music, kids, because that is wrong: another Public Service Announcement from your friends at Chicky Chicky Baby and "Weird Al" Yankovic), I ran out of hard drive space. No shit, I ran out of space on my computer. That should tell you how chintzy my old Inspiron is. This new one blows the old one out of the water. I won't get into them, but this new Dell has all the bells and whistles that your everyday bored SAHM, with a fetish for cheesy 80s music and gigs of photos of her precious child, would want in a computer.

Sure, I had to sell a lung (guess I shouldn't take up smoking now, eh?) and Chicky will be wearing garbage bags to school one day, but this is one luxury that Mama just can't live without. Which got me thinking. What other luxuries can a skinflint frugal gal like myself no longer live without?


First - My black Coach tote, or as I like to call it, my funeral bag. This bag is perfect for when you need to carry a sippy cup or two, some diapers, a few bags of snacks and a couple of toys but still look fashionable. But in a respectful, I'm-in-mourning-but-don't-I-look-fabulous way.

Second - This year's Christmas present, Frye boots. I call them my shit kickers, however, if anything nasty gets on these bad boys I will plug up the offender's pooper with the tip of the right one. I could ride a horse in these suckers but since that won't be happening anytime soon I'll just have to pretend. Yeehaw!

Third - My Dyson Animal. Is it a luxury if it's necessary?

Fourth - Books! Glorious Books! I promise you, my pretties, that I will not forsake you for the new computer. Much.

(Jenny said on her blog not that long ago that she could tell all that she needed to know about a person by their books and their refrigerator. I don't think you need to be a psychoanalyst to figure out who I am.)

Fifth - Elmo's World DVD's. Worth their weight in gold because they help me maintain my sanity.

Sixth - My dogs. You'd choke on your tongue if you knew how much money I've spent on those freakin' animals. It started when we purchased Fisher as a puppy and it's gone downhill from there. But tell me you could have resisted this face:

Gotta love me. Now hand over the credit card, Ma.

And last but not least - Mommy Juice.

'Nuff said.

Since this will be my last post before the new year I will raise my glass of Shiraz to you - hell, I'll raise the whole bottle - and toast to a very Happy New Year for you, my virtual friends and your families. May your cupboards be stocked, your glass always full, your children well behaved and gorgeous, your closets bursting with sexy footwear and your bounties plentiful.



Lara said...

oh, please - do not wish me any more closetfuls of sexy footwear. my month of shoes is almost up and i have about ten pairs i haven't posted, and two more pairs i want to buy already.

but super happy new year to you and the chicky clan! enjoy the new computer - but don't spend too much time licking it, because it'll get soggy and stop working. just a tip.

Anonymous said...

New computer, kickass boots, books galore and and Elmo DVD? My eyes have already glazed over ... you jezebel, you.

metro mama said...

I'll raise my bottle back. Happy New Year!

Did you like Runaway by the way?

joker the lurcher said...

and a happy new year to you and the chicky folk too!

Anonymous said...

You wanna trade books after you finish those. I've got shelves and shelves of stuff to read and I need a good book trade partner. The library can't keep up with me any more.

Redneck Mommy said...

As saddened as I am that you chose a Dell over a MacShudder, I am happy you have the technology to continue blogging. Because who else could I call hairy and get a way with it? Hee hee.

I'm raising my pooch and my bottle of red to you Mrs. Chicky. Me and the World's Greatest Dog. Ever, are really glad to have found ya.

Even with your stinkin' Dell and that ugly ass purse.


Redneck Mommy said...

Of course I meant Mac, shudder not Macshudder, but now the moment is lost...

Sigh. This ought to teach me not to blog and drink my Mommy juice at the same time.

No wonder Nixon is hiding under the bed.

Bobita said...

I love the computer...but I am compelled to now lick the Fryes and the Dyson, too! And honestly, had you not mentioned your inclination toward humping the mail delivery man's leg...well, I would not be laughing myself to the point of incontinence right now! I don't think I've laughed that hard in weeks!!

Raising my glass (read VAT) of champagne to you and yours! Happy 2007.

Anonymous said...

Happy happy, Mrs. C!

Quite a haul, I'd say. And while I admire your new laptop, I'm still fond of my old old old one, which I've characterized "retro chic".

But the boots? Now I don't have ANYTHING like those. Wowee!

Anonymous said...

Hee! I got my dyson last year and it's worth it's weight in gold. I want to break into my neighbors houses and vaccuum I love it so much.

Now I just need to see your fridge and I'll have total chicky-o-vision.

Anonymous said...

Love it all. We have the same computer now...Enjoy it. Mine's name is ELVIS.

I love the boots and the MommyJuice the best.

crazymumma said...

Those frye boots are the BEST!

Kristin said...

Bitch in the House is such a great read... what I can tell about you, between the wine, the books and the boots, is that YOU Mrs. Chicky, kick booty!

Sparky Duck said...

how can I get this thing you call sexy footwear?? Happy Happy alls around and I loves the Dell, even if it is a Dell

Major Bedhead said...

Happy New Year, Mrs. Chicky. I'm jealous of your Dyson. I want one so badly.

Anonymous said...

madame chick - it's like we are twins...i have that computer. i have most of those books.

now i only need those supahot boots.

happiest end of year to you.

Mamacita Tina said...

Cheers! Love the laptop, needed an entire roll of paper towels to wipe up my drool.

Anonymous said...

I'm jealous! I've been wanting a laptop for ages. I still can't afford it yet!

Yours is beautiful, though!

Anonymous said...

Wow that's quite the haul! I hear those vacuums are to die for (and with our animal situation (2 extremely furry and sheddy dogs plus two cats in small house I am dying to have Jenny above move in next door so she can break in and vacuum. It might happen.

Anonymous said...

Heather, come on over. I love my neighbor to myleft but I'm sure I can drive out the neighbor on my other side. I'll get the vacuum ready.

Anonymous said...

What were the titles of all those books? I couldn't view all of them. That would be what I called a great christmas present. :)

Anonymous said...

I just got a new Dell about a month ago and OH MY GOD I love it. When my husband dared to ask if he could take it out of town with him for a week-long trip I about died. Is he crazy?!

carrie said...

Wow, too much fabulousness in one post!!! You are one lucky mama - I don't know what I covet more, the dyson or your handbag...decisions, decisions!

Happy New Year to you Chicky!


Nichole said...

I love your use of the phrase "mommy juice". Brilliant.

I loooove my inspiron 6000 which looks just like your new pooter. It is a sexy little machine, isn't it?

My mom just got the Dyson Animal vacuum and I had the good fortune of being able to use it. If I could make love to that thing I would.

I have "It's a Girl" and have read several of the essays, but not all of them yet. ;) It's great.

Have a happy new year!

Kate said...

Ah, Mrs Chicky, someday we will have to talk over a lovely bottle of Ravenswood about the pleasures I derive from my Mac. (No it doesn't come with a vibrator...)

What a cute doggie!! And I raise my bottle to you, too, for giving me countless laughs. Happy New Year!!

Amy said...

Yay for the new computer! And for all the other great stuff!! I'm totally jealous of your Dyson.

You have many good books there, esp Bitch in the House -- one of my faves.

Happy New year!

Pendullum said...

Ohhh My Gawwwd you MUST have been a very good girl this year...
It looked like porn to me... My Gawwd I was droolingover the screeen...
That computer, the boots are amazing and those books!!!!
Ohhh Mrs. Chicky what a haul!!!!

I have loved reading your blog... You have added so much to me out there in cyberspace from you great stories to your wonderful comments on my blog...
Happy Happy New Year to you and yours...Looking forward to reading all about it in 2007!

Amie Adams said...

I'm so jealous of those fandamnabulous boots.

I have a couple of pairs of Justin's (and I grew up in New England too) that I've had for more than 10 years. Nothing makes you feel tougher than a great pair of boots!!

mo-wo said...

Congratulations on the new 'puter even if it is some dork PC. sniff. You have new clothes???/ *$^)#^@) sigh.

Happy new year Chickies!

ps.. read on. up with Alice Munro

motherbumper said...

A new computer, Frye boots, Coach bag and AN ANIMAL DYSON! I'd hump not only the post man's leg but anyone standing in a fifty mile radius. A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year wish from Casa Bump (and here I thought my Dyson handheld was da' shit - tell your husband I'm moving in).

Best wishes for 2007 Chicky household!

Queen of the Mayhem said...

I laughed out loud when I read the part about humping the UPS man's leg! I have caught myself wanting to do the exact same thing when one of my prizes from Ebay arrives! ( I have an addiction!)
Great post! Thanks for giving me a good laugh! I am a mom, I need it! :)

ewe are here said...

I think I own that computer.
And I crave the Coach bag.
And my necessary boots are my beloved Eccos...just bought a new pair last week! ;-)

Now if I could only find some more reading time...

Happy New Year!