Chicky Chicky Baby: the business

Two things -

First of all, thank you to everyone who left a comment on my last post. General consensus seems to be "Hey, dumbass. Call the cops already. [exaggerated eye roll]" But you didn't actually use the word "dumbass" and I appreciate that. A slight nudge feels a lot better than the proverbial boot to the butt. Less foot treads to wipe away, too.

I've been talking this over with Mr. C - who thinks I'm being paranoid - and a couple of neighbors we recently met - who seem to think I'm only being slightly paranoid - and we're going to call the authorities and have them check things out. I'll let you know how things work out.

And since you were all so generous with your opinions...

(I know what you're thinking, "Gimme a break, she's going to ask for more advice. The woman can't scratch her own ass without the help of the internets." And for the record, I can hear you.)

A looong time ago, my fabulously smart and insightful readers (and did I mention, you look fantastic today? Have you been working out?) came up with a list of names for my now-defunct dog training blog. Sooo.... *looking around coyly* I was hoping you could help me out again.

You see, I'm trying to get my own private dog training business up and running but the problem is this, I can't for the LIFE of me think of a decent name. I can train your dog to fetch you a beer from the fridge but coming up with a business name? Not too good in that department.

I've got one kicking around that sounds fine, I suppose. Want to hear it? You know you do.

The Family Dog.

How does that grab you? Yeah, I feel the same. Not bad but I don't know if I'm sold on it, not 100% anyway. And I needed to see it through your eyes before I settled on it so thoughts on that name are very much appreciated. BUT if you have one better - and I know you do because you're intelligent and creative and you look great in those jeans - I would really love to hear it.

The slant to my business is general dog training with basic behavior modification if necessary, but my main focus will be on families. I want to get the entire family involved and interested in caring for the family dog (hence the name I came up with) including the kids. I want my business to be very family friendly. And have I said "family" enough already? Family.

So, here's my criteria for the name:

- Must sound good said aloud - For example, on the phone "Hello, [business name]" It has to be snappy and not too cutesy because I hate cutesy.

- Must be searchable. So "dog" or "dog training" or the like should be in the title.

- Must look good on a business card.

I don't really have much to offer in return except my undying love and free dog advice, but that's something right?

Right?

Besides, you helped name my baby so a business name should be gravy.

(Please don't make me beg. It's not pretty.)

(Also, gravy. Mmmm, gravy.)

This is a tough time of year for me, with the anniversary of my mom's death just passed and my daughter's birthday coming up - not to mention the whole Easter - I'm a lapsed Catholic but I'm still morbidly interested in religion and I can't stop talking about it Gaaaahhhhh! - thing and the arrival of 50 degree temperatures...

(I know, you're oozing with jealousy. Fifty whole degrees! That's cah-raaaazy!)

- I find it really difficult to come up with posts that aren't made up entirely of exploitive pictures of my kid and YouTube clips. So when Mama Tulip offered to "interview" bloggers I jumped at, nay, dry humped the chance to have someone else do the thinking for me.

Try getting that image out of your head. Ooh, you like that, don't you? Take it, take it, take it...

Um. Hi!

Mama Tulip is just lucky she lives up in da Cah-nah-dah (as my friends from Bouctouche would say) because chances aren't the only things I would have molested. No, I joke. I respect her too much for that. I'd wait at least an hour after meeting her before I would proposition her.

Anyway...

These are the questions she asked me. With my less than spectacular answers.

1. What was the first blog you ever read? Do you still read it?

Oh man, talk about getting started on a low note. This is so boring. The first blog I read was Dooce. That's like getting your cherry popped by the quarterback or something. So cliche. But after reading a few of her entries I was totally hooked and I ended up reading all of her archives over the course of a couple of weeks. I'm a dork. But those entries did inspire me to start my own blog shortly thereafter. And the world is not any better for it.

2. Did you go to your high school prom? If you did, describe your dress. If you didn't, tell us why.

Yes, I did go to my senior prom. I went to a few senior proms actually (I wasn't a slut, really), but for my own I went with my boyfriend at the time, Psycho Andy. Psycho Andy was just that. Psychotic. He was three years older than me and just a bit touched with the crazy. But we had the best fights. I'm talking throwing stuff at each others heads, jumping out of moving vehicles-types of fights. But my prom night was, alas, extremely boring. Except for the dress. I had no business wearing a white, strapless prom dress since I was so incredibly skinny and had no boobs to hold up the bodice, but it was so beautiful I had to have it. My parents spent a ridiculous amount of money on it (for the time and our income) and I felt like a princess, even though there was nothing "princess" about it.

I'll post a picture of it when I'm feeling less lazy and less self-conscious of my skeletal shoulders.

3. Did you have pets in your house growing up?

I had one dog growing up. My mother was not a pet lover, not to mention a bit anal in the cleaning department, so we were not allowed to have anything with fur, feathers or fins. When I was twelve or thirteen my dad took me and my sister to a friend's house and we picked out the cutest white German Shephard puppy from a new litter. Unfortunately, my mother was not let in on this plan. To say she was unhappy with my father's choice to add a puppy to our family would be the understatement of the year. But we whined and cajoled and mom finally let us keep the dog. We named her Suki. I loved that dog.

With Suki around I learned how to train my first dog. Obedience-wise the dog was a complete failure. But in the trick department that dog was a star. I taught her to play dead by "shooting" her with my finger and saying the word "bang". My father, to this day, tries to claim that he taught her how to do that. He's sadly mistaken. That was all me.

We fed her the worst food, she drank copious amounts of beer when on outings with my dad, she spent her days tied to a long line attached to our garage. We did everything wrong with her but I learned so much from her. Sometimes I wish I had her back. I'd like a do-over.

4. Tell us one thing that you hope to achieve in your lifetime.

It's no secret that I'd like to start my own business working with dogs. Having my own business is something I've dreamed about for awhile and it's time for me to get off my tuckus and get something started. Working with dogs and their owners brings me so much joy - and more than a little frustration - and I know I've got something to offer to this sometimes saturated market.

I've come up with an idea that doesn't require a brick and mortar facility (for now, the ultimate goal is to have my own facility) and I wish I could share it with all of you. It kills me that I can't write about it here. I'd love to have your input because this business targets people like you (hint, hint) but I fear the Google, so for now I'll have to keep it on the down low. Once things get rolling I'll start leaking some information and don't be surprised if you get an email from me asking you probing questions about your relationship with your dog and your kid's relationship with your dog (Again, hint hint. Do I need to hit you with a brick or have you figured it out yet? Just keep it out of the comments because the Google... It watches me.).

5. Fess up: do you follow celebrity gossip?

Unfortunately, yes, I do follow celebrity gossip. I have an unnatural fascination with Perez Hilton and TMZ.com. Not to mention Gawker, Defamer, and the Inside Track. I'm waiting to hear the results of Anna Nicole's autopsy and who the baby daddy is. I can't wait until Katie is out from under Tom's thumb (heh). And I think it's only a matter of time before Britney comes out with her own PPD book.

What? I'm a bored housewife. What do you expect? I'm a cliche.

But I did not sleep with the quarterback.

If you'd like to be "interviewed" by me leave me a comment (and make sure I have your email address) or send me an email and I'll come up with five questions specially designed just for you.