Say hello to my little friend (it's not really my friend but the title is catchy. I just can't place where I've heard it before. Yes that was sarcasm)

Chicky brought home a little someone the other day. She wasn't aware this little guy had followed her home which is good because he's a little goth and a real wannabe blood sucker and hhe's a little young to deal with that type. The little guy didn't have a name so I was going to name him Edward, but he's not sexy in the least. He's really, really creepy. So instead, I'll call him...

A TICK!

(Click it, I dare you.)

OMFG! It's a TICK. Eww. EWWWW. A TICK. We found a TICK on MY BAAY-BEEE. The world is GOING TO END. A TICK. GAAAAHHHH.

(Those of you from other parts of the country other than the northeast might not know about the dangers of deer ticks and Lyme disease - actually, it's all over the place now so maybe you do. Whatever. It's freaking scary so keep reading anyway. It's important.)

We pulled this little sucker out of Chicky's hair where it thankfully was just crawling around. It hadn't latched on yet.

Then, a couple of nights ago, I was petting the cat when I felt something on her ear. Yep, a tick. I screamed and yelled for my husband who came running in with a What?? What's wrong?

I just pulled a tick off of Nina's ear!

So what do you want me to do?

Uh, I don't know. I just freaked out. Kill it. Flush it. Hit it with a rock just GET IT OUT OF MY BED.

And let me tell you about the other ticks I've found since then....

Hey, wait! Come back! Where are you going?

Okay, I'm sorry. I won't talk about ticks anymore.

I'm totally lying. TIIIIIIICKSSS.

*shudder*

I can't even tell you how many common dog ticks I've pulled off of my dogs and other's dogs in the past. Hundreds. Hundreds and hundreds, and they've never freaked me out. But these are worse. These carry disease that make you horribly sick and then your arms and legs spontaneously fall off and then your head explodes the end.

Okay, not really but a deer tick bite left untreated could really mess you up. Oftentimes, people carrying the disease don't have the tell-tale bullseye bite mark and then the flu-like symptoms they complain about go undiagnosed.

The problem is, deer ticks are so small that by the time you notice them the damage might be done. So I've been obsessively checking the girls for teeny, tiny little specks of black that might be ticks but also just might be dirt. Every nook and cranny gets a thorough inspection. Nobody is pleased with me right now because the procedure can be a little... invasive. Ahem.

Now every time I feel a little tickle on my skin I'm all, It's a tick! OMG, it's a TICK!!

Every speck on the floor, A TICK. It's A TICK! We're all going to DIE!!

Coincidentally, May is Lyme Disease Awareness Month because this is when the little blood suckers become really active and therefore, really dangerous.

I won't get into the specifics of how Lyme disease works, you can read about it here if you want to know more (and you should).

Want to know how to remove a tick safely if you find one on you? Read about that here.

One piece of information I found particularly interesting, when going outside in tick infested areas (AKA, my freaking yard) apply 20 - 30% DEET even on children as young as three months old. I know some people have a problem putting DEET on their kids, but I think I'm willing to take that risk.

Especially...

Especially since I stopped writing this post to put Chicky to bed and before putting on her pajamas I did my check. And there, in her fine blond hair, was a tick.

(Oh. Mah. GAWD. A FREAKING TICK. Am losing my mind.)

And it was imbedded. I have no idea how long it had been there since I didn't check her head last night but it wasn't full of blood and we got everything out. Still, I'm freaking out a little.

Okay, a lot. I'm freaking out a lot. And tomorrow I'm sizing the girls for their very own, personalized bubble. Covered in DEET.

*shudder*

More proof that inspiration comes when I'm in the shower

To the makers of the Dove line of beauty products:
(a letter that I might have sent to the company but instead decided to post it here on my blog. I am nothing if not passive-aggressive.)

As a long time customer I first wanted to thank you for your products, more specifically your soap, which I've been using for more than twenty years, and your line of shampoos and conditioners but to also bring up a few concerns I have about them. But first, few points of thanks from this mother of one:

• Unless I'm traveling I will not use another soap - as a matter of fact I'd travel with it if the TSA wasn't all up in my face about traveling with cosmetics - and up until I had my daughter a couple of years ago and the texture of my skin changed slightly (okay, more than slightly, but that's what happens when you have kids) I used Dove soap to wash everything from my face to my toes and everywhere in between. I even shave with it. Dove soap, the white bars, has been a part of my everyday beauty routine since my mother introduced me to it when I was a young teen. It's perfect for someone with me with slightly sensitive skin. I'd use your scent-free soap but, and I hate to break it to you, it has an odor. Yeah, it's not scent-free. You might want to work on that.
  
  
• I thank you for the free samples you sent out a few years ago when you launched your Weightless Moisture line; your direct marketing campaign was spot on there. As much as I'd love to be able to use all the expensive salon shampoos, as a stay at home mother I have to save pennies by purchasing my haircare products from the pharmacy or supermarket and you reached out to me at just the right time. The Weightless Moisture line has delivered on its promise of, well, weightless moisture. Well done.
  

• I thank you for your Campaign for Real Beauty. I like that you use "real women" in your ads and that you've tried to empower women to love their true body and that you're working with the Girl Scouts to reach out to young girls for the same reason. Good job. As the mother of a girl you get the ol' pat on the back from me.

• I also thank you for sponsoring the Blogher cocktail party at the children's museum. How did you know that hundreds of women just getting out of a conference would need free samples of antiperspirant at just that very moment? Spooky.
  
  
  
  Somewhere, just beyond that wall, is the cute DJ. Were you responsible for him too? If you were, I thank you.
  
  
  (I even like your Pro-Age line of products. But we need to talk about the term "Pro-Age". Are you pro-aging. Should we really all look forward to getting old? I'm confused.)

I short, I'm very pleased with almost every aspect of my experiences with the Dove line of beauty products but, as I mentioned above, I do have a few concerns. First, and most simply, your packaging. Sure, it's simple, to the point, unassuming and all that, no problem there, but let's be frank: Do the tops to the shampoo bottles have to be that freaking difficult to open?

The culprit. Always left slightly ajar because it's a pain in the arse to fully open, therefore allowing excess water to get under the cap. Hate that.

As a mother with limited monetary resources I don't have the advantage of getting cute manicures and all that. So when my nail gets torn in two because I tried to open a bottle of shampoo with my wet, slippery hands - as hands often get when in the shower and all - I'm SOL, if you get my drift. And mothers have few precious minutes to wash themselves everyday, so wrestling with a shampoo bottle is a waste of time. And a waste of time makes for unhappy mommies. And unhappy mommies don't make repeat customers. Are you following?

One more point about packaging: would it kill you guys to come up with bottles that don't collect so much water while in the shower? Your Dove Cream Body Wash (especially the cherry almond. Yummy. It smells like one of my favorite childhood candies - Cherry Wacky Taffy. I have to remind myself it's not a sweet and to not lick it straight from the bottle.) collects so much water under the cap that whenever I remove the bottles from the shower to clean it - as mothers do, since we have a hard time pawning that chore onto our husbands - the water spills out of the cap and onto my shirt. I hate that. Again, happy mommies make better consumers. Just a heads up.

Still trying to pawn the chore of cleaning the bathroom off onto my husband. It's obviously not working.


Wetness, courtesty of Dove. Shirt, courtesty of Fadiddle. Boobs, all mine.

And lastly, one more important point to mention. There's something conspicuously absent from the back of your bottles:

Go ahead, click the picture. It's not there.

No where does it say: "This product is not tested on animals". In my humble opinion Dove, and your parent company Unilever, should rethink this in the future. The world of organic, natural, eco-friendly and just overall safe products is exploding. I still have not heard a convincing argument as to why shampoos, body washes and deodorants need to be tested on animals. If other companies have released similar products without having to test them on animals first, then why can't you?

Women, specifically mothers, are label readers. We like to know what's going on with the products we buy for our families. And mothers are pissed off at the large companies who are responsible for the bulk of health and beauty products on the market not being straight with us and for possibly selling us unsafe washes, lotions and shampoos and we're not afraid to tell others about it. You might want to consider that too in the not-too-distant future as well. I hope you get that not too subtle hint.

In closing, my overall experience with Dove has been more than satisfactory, but the aforementioned issues are some deal breakers that you may want to bring up at the next development meeting. Mothers tend to do the majority of the grocery shopping for their families, and I know you're already considering that when you develop your product lines, so you may want to go the extra step and make your products as user friendly and safe as possible. I'm not asking for much. Just remember that your not the only act in town.

Respectfully and simply,

A customer with a blog who is not afraid to use it.