Because I didn't have enough to do

Awhile back, Sarah asked me to describe my dream house. I was being kind of silly when I wrote about it never thinking we'd ever find anything like what I had described.

Well, guess what? We found it. My dream house really exists and it's up for sale.

A week after C.C. was born, on a 95 degree day, we went to take a look at the inside. I don't know why we even bothered because I was sold before we even drove up the driveway. It's not the complete realization of my dream home (no pool, not by the ocean, no 48" gas range - yet.) but just about everything else was exactly how I had imagined my forever house to be.

Mr. C took one look at my face and knew I had to have the house. The poor guy hardly had a say. I guess I owe the man a few favors. Ahem.

So this past week while I should have been still resting a bit, we were viewing the house a second time and having meetings with our realtor. Then we spent the weekend in negotiations with the owners (who just happened to also be the listing realtors and the builders of this home. Can you say "Emotionally invested"? I knew you could.). After some bumpy first offers we finally settled on a price yesterday. Which means...

Holy shite! We're moving into my dream house at the end of the summer!!

That's just the front yard. Mr. C and I are already planning the first whiffle ball tournament on that lawn. Anyone want to play second base?

I think I need to lie down.

Sure, Mr. C will be even more indebted to "the man" and I'll be going back to work a little sooner than we had planned and I might have to sell a kidney or other vital organ to pay for the place, but seeing my girls run around the large yard getting grass stains on their knees will be worth it. Bringing them out back and walking through a small path to see the horses graze in the farm behind us will be worth it. Taking my dogs and my kids and walking out our driveway and almost immediately into the abutting conservation land for long hikes on nice days will be worth it. Sipping wine on my front porch or in my sunroom or in the jacuzzi tub right outside my bathroom, naked because there are hardly any neighbors to see my flabby ass, will be so freaking worth it.

However...

(you knew there had to be one.)

It may sound strange but I'm completely terrified. I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with making payments but everything to do with my dream being realized. I can't explain it, it just makes me jittery. Feel free to psychoanalyze me.

Adding to our good fortune, and my jitters, my inlaws are buying our home so they can be closer to their granddaughters. It makes me feel a lot better about selling this place, the home where Mr. C and I got married, where we brought our kids home to, where our pool is (ahem), where we put our blood, sweat and tears in to, to keep it in the family.

For the past week I've been pouring over the pictures of this house but never daring to dream of where I would put my living room furniture or what color I would paint the baby's room. But now I can.

Holy crap.

I'm starting to feel woozy now. But there's no rest for me, Mama needs to find a job. I may be realizing one of my dreams but this dream don't come cheap.

Anyone need a dog trainer? Hmmm??