Sure, it's hot enough outside to fry an egg on the sidewalk, but is the asphalt sizzling enough to fry up some nice, crispy bacon to go with it? Probably, it was 105 degrees yesterday, after all(and with the heat index it was 115! Whoopee!). Today is the last day of this horrible, debilitating heat (so they say) and I'm really hoping that the cooler temperatures will bring some relief to my melted brain. I'm going to take a cue from Blog Antagonist and write for the sake of writing and hope that this loose train of thought will help me put my Humpty Dumpty brain back together again. So, I give you...
Thoughts that don't deserve their own post but deserve to be mentioned:
(catchy title, no?)
- The other day while rug shopping with Mr. C and Chicky Baby we ran into another couple with a toddler in the rug department.
(I have to stop here for a moment. Is there anything more boring and yet frighteningly daunting than rug shopping? How do I know which of the wool, oriental-knockoffs is going to match best with dog hair? I wonder if this store would let me bring in my yellow lab and have him rub his ass all over the
area rugs to see which goes better with fur because that's what it's going to look like when I have it in my home for 15 minutes.)
Back to the couple and their son. This actually ties in quite nicely with the above dog problem because the boy was, um... leashed. I immediately thought of Kristen's posts (sorry, couldn't find the exact ones) about toddler harnesses, but I had never seen one used in real life. I tried to act as nonchalant as possible and ignore the fact that the child was tethered - to each his own, right? - and I thought I did a good job of paying attention to the boy and not the restraint, though my eyes may have wandered for a split second (It's like the forest for the trees scenario. Can you see the child for the leash?), but his father was quick to point out, apologetically I thought, that without the harness his child would never be permitted to walk through the doors of this store until he was 23. Again, it's his kid, as long as the little one didn't have a shock collar on it's none of my business. The poor guy and, a minute later, his wife were so quick to address the reason why their son had to be leashed that I wondered how many comments they got on the thing. I have to say I felt bad for the couple. And I never got a chance to say anything more than "Hi, little man. Aren't you cute." before they were singing the praises of the toddler harness. I had to stifle the urge to address the kid's crazy pulling on the leash by offering some training methods and urging them to use a clicker and bits of hot dog and cheese are rewards. Perhaps I should have given them my business card.
We left the rug department very soon after. Not because of the couple but because we had found a rug that went well with yellow dog and cat hair but would have clashed with the fur of our black lab. Whoever said black goes with everything apparently didn't have pets.
- Remember in this post how I mentioned that by being home and upsetting my routine my husband was driving me crazy? He went back to work on Tuesday. Now I miss him horribly. And even though it's crammed securely in my mouth, my foot is not that tasty.
- We had some pretty scary looking clouds around here yesterday afternoon right before a storm passed through. It's not unheard of to have small tornadoes in this part of the country every one in a while, but they're rare. I have to say that it was a little frightening. Sure, we have some shitty weather around these parts, but we don't have relocate-your-house weather. A couple of years ago I would have found it fascinating, but now that I have a kid and four pets to provide care and shelter for I spent about an hour running between the large window in our dining room and the local weather alerts on the television. I think I can safely say that we won't be moving to Oklahoma anytime soon.
- I think I may be the only person in North America who doesn't like melons of any kind. The smell of watermelon makes my stomach curdle and I just don't understand the appeal of cantaloupe and honeydew. Every summer my husband makes some smart ass comment about this in mixed company. Inevitably, at some picnic or barbecue, I'm sitting there with a plate of fruit salad that I picked the grapes and pineapple out of and left the remains of the melon which I later try to pawn off on someone. Am I really the only one who does this? I'm reaching out here. I'm thinking of starting a support group but I need others to join. I'm thinking about calling it 'Mothers Against All melons' or 'MA'AM' for short. Who's with me?
Anyone?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I'm melting... melting... melting...
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42 comments:
Hilarious. I feel the same way when we are all on vacation. I want everyone to go back to work/school, but then I miss them horribly.
I love watermelon too, but hate all milk products, which makes me a freak in a way I can relate to your melon-hating lonely status..
Lisa
Yes. THE CLICKER. Why is a leash okay and then people would be like "omg they used a clicker with their kid..."
Hahaha. May you not get the wrath of leash lovers that is usually sent my way.
Congrats on spotting your first harness! I can't believe you've never seen one. Having been in a department store and seeing the panic of a mom who actually LOST her 2-year-old for about 10 minutes, I can totally understand why someone might resort to one of those. But not me, thanks.
And I totally sympathize with your husband being home. My husband is off from teaching for most of the summer, and has been around far more than I had expected. Working from home has been, um, not working well.
Ok, you are not the ONLY person in North America who doesn't like melons of any kind - I don't! Especially watermellon. (although I love Watermelon flavored candy...go figure!) So, don't feel alone ! I'll join the support group with ya!
I am not a melon fan. I cannot eat cantaloupe or honey dew at all. I will only eat watermelon if someone takes all of th seeds out and cuts it into little pieces for me. The other thing about melons...their remains make the garbage stink to high heaven.
I admit it: I am totally a melon eater. Except cantaloupe. Something is just wrong with cantaloupe.
Also: 105! In MA! I have always been under the impression that MA didn't get that hot, and now I am so disappointed, as I was thinking it would be lovely to visit during the summer, when Dallas is practically charred.
Maybe it's just that I live under a rock.
Thanks for the clicker training link! What are your thoughts on shipping Payton out for a week or year for training at the Chicky ranch?
At the zoo I saw kids wearing leashes. If you can't let your toddler run around free at a zoo, where can you?
Hey, now. You talk about 'Oklahoma weather' like it's a bad thing. ;)
It's actually not BAD. I've never been through a tornado, nor have I seen one, and I've lived here for almost 31 years.
Once you're here for awhile, you get to post things like this :
http://www.tastetheworld.org/blog/2006/04/psa_preparing_for_a_tornado.php
SD4M and Vikki- I need to initiate you into 'MA'AM'! You'll get your membership cards in the mail in about a week.
Jes - Sorry. It gets wicked hot (as we like to say around here) in MA quite often. Not this hot, but still pretty toasty. And the humidity is a pissah!
Carr - After spending some time in the Chicky Training Center he might come back even worse! My dogs have a way of bringing out the worst in others.
Chase - I thought of you while I was writing that. Sorry, I'll keep dealing with snow storms and you can keep your tornados.
I laughed out loud when I read the thing about, "how do I try to find a rug that matches the dog hair?" I can SO relate! Hysterical. Plus the leash pic -- ya can't help but laugh...
See, here in Ohio we get tornados AND snowstorms. But at least we don't get hurricanes.
I'm a melon hater as well. I can't stand the taste, and I don't see what people like about it.
Mleh. I don't like melon either, but in my case it's probably psychological, seeing's how I got called "Melonhead" all the way through junior high.
Ahem. Anyway. The point is that I don't like melons, either.
Shock collar, hmm. You don't think that a Taser would come in handy sometimes with manic, turbo-charged mini-freaks? No?
I actually saw a couple walking on the beach with their toddler who was on a harness secure his leash into the sand (you know, using one of those corkscrew things for dog leashes?) while they sat in their lounge chairs for about 45 minutes. Couldn't believe my eyes.
Great post.
Melons. Yech. Can't stand the texture. I'm with you! UMAA - United Melon Abstainers Association.
To Love, Honor and Dismay
You know...I'm not a huge melon fan either. But to me, it smells far better than it tastes. The only thing I really like is the texture of cantaloupe. It's so weird. But ever since I heard that e.coli(?) warning about cantaloupe, I kind of gross out on it, regardless of the groovy texture. But the texture of watermelon is just yucky to me. I will never understand why people get all excited when someone breaks out the watermelon...
Isn't it funny how different people's tastes in food are?
So, I TOTALLY hear you on the leash thing, but what about a gentle leader? Would that be over the top? I guess you'd need a leash in order to use a gentle leader, though, so maybe not...
O.k. so toddler harnesses, my sister-in-law bought us one of those for our daughter. She can't walk fully quite yet.
She insists we use it (because her kids are wild animals and therefore everybody's kids are).
We returned it and told her we'll use it everyday!
I hate, hate, hate the taste of watermelon. Except watermelon Jolly Ranchers.
I'm just glad there was no choke collar.
I love watermelon, don't mind honeydew, but cataloupe to me (along with beets) smells like musty basements, which I can't handle.
I, too, used to be appalled at the toddler leash. With my daughter, I couldn't imagine why anyone would ever feel the need for one. And then my son was born. (Or, as we have taken to calling him lately, The Amazing Escape-O.)
I actually bought one of those leashes, but never used it, because his behavior was *so* extreme. After the bazillionth time he took off randomly, it was safer just to hire a babysitter. So, I *did* think about using one. However, I also think that staking a child to the ground so you can get a tan is not an acceptable option.
I'll be the middle of the road vote on the melon issue as well, since I like the cantaloupe but dislike the watermelon.
Somedays, I think a shock collar for my kids would be a very useful thing...oops...did I just say that out loud? Uh...forget I said anything. :)
Melon haters? Say it isn't so! Because I am part Mexican (I figure, since California was part of Mexico) I eat melons pico de gallo style - a splash of lime juice, a dash of salt, and a generous helping of chile powder. Yum.
Of course you miss him now that he's gone. I think men have brain control over us so just that will happen. LOL.
I have no comment on the harness. LOL.
Forget the leash - can anyone point me to a good source for a toddler bit and bridle? Maybe one of the tack stores around here would carry one.
Canteloupe (that's the orange one, right?) is gross unless paired with prosciutto.
Well, you are obviously a communist. I've had my suspicions for some time but not liking melon confirms it.
My dog has white, brown and black hair, and that's the "new neutral" I've decided. It goes with all of our stuff, clothing included.
Jordan's Furniture...*drooool* I luuuurrrrve that store. I like the one in Framingham because it has a Kelly's Roast Beef in it.
The leash? Yeah, my mother had one of those for me. I'm fine, though. *twitch, twitch* No, I didn't see the need to get one for any of my kids, why do you ask? *twitch, twitch*
I eat canteloupe (or, more correctly, musk melon, thank you Alton Brown for clearing that up) but that's. it. Watermelon? Blechy, gritty, seedy ick. Honeydew? Same thing only no seeds. So, can I be an auxilliary member of MA'AM?
I love melons...sorry. Honey dew kind of freaks me out for some reason though lol.
I was lucky (?!) that both my girls always wanted to be pushed in their stroller...so the leash thing was never an issue with me...
I swear my oldest would still choose that over walking!
And all this talk about wicked things, pissahs, and Jordan's furniture has made me homesick! waaaaaa! :)
Okay, so the harness thing is tough to watch, but I do understand how some parents just have to use one for very hyper toddlers. It's kinda like a sling for 2 year olds??
I love watermelon, but honeydew and canteloupe are a bit too slimey for me.
I like the melon fine. But I think it don't agree with my boy. Who could make newborn poop... poopier! melons suck in their own way.
Man, watermelon was my lifesaver when pregnant with Cricket.
And now that my child has been replaced with a rabid monkey, I can see the need for leashes. Just smack me if I actually ever use one.
I'm the opposite of you with the melon - I eat it and pick out the grapes. Happy to share a fruit salad with you any time. We'd make a good team!
I hate to rehash the leash thing again but it's callllliing meeeeee....calllllling meeeeeee.....
if you have one child, no excuse. Hold the kid's damn hand. If you're juggling a quartet of kids in a crowded state fair by yourself and you're limping and legally blind and missing a few fingers, and your blood sugar is kind of low, then okay. Leash it is.
I love melon, so you can flick yours over here.
The leash thing? Mostly, I agree that you just pay attention, but I do know there are kids who are runners. And if you want to take them somewhere busy but let them stretch their legs, it's safer than losing them. Fortunately, Pumpkinpie will usually take either a shoulder ride or a stroller if we insist, and we let her run when possible.
i'll be in ma'am with you all the way! as far as i can think (which isn't very far on 3 hours sleep) there isn't a melon i eat. as a matter of fact the only fruit i eat are apples and bananas and since neither of those are melons, i'm sure i don't eat the stuff!
the leash thing--my mom had this telephone cord type deal. it had a velcro strap around my wrist, a velcro strap around her's and we were connected with a telephone cord. really boosted my self esteem!
I am SO with you on the melon thing. I hate it all too. About the closest I get to like it is liking watermelon flavored candy. And that's only because it tastes like sugar, and not actual watermelon. I will become a member of MA'AM with you!!
Um ... ya I am with ya on the Melon thing. SO with ya. Especially cantaloupe and honeydew. What's up with that. I do have to say my husband makes a yummy salad with a bit of watermelon in it and I don't always pick it all out.
And rug shopping ... ug. Leashed toddlers and their poor defensive parents ... double ug.
Missed ya my friend! I've had Mrs. Chicky withdrawals all week :)
I love your blog!
Having said that, I LOVE melon, with the exception of most honeydew melon, which sometimes tastes like baby vomit.
The leash thing? I had one when I was a kid, my mom ONLY used it when we were vacationing and in a very crowded, large city. Their little arms do get sore hanging onto an adult's hand for a long time. Try it- hold your arm in the air and see how long it is before you want to put it down.
Personally, I only used it a few times- my younger daughter was a runner and I had visions of her plummetting to her death when she was a toddler and we were on vacation and stopped at a rest area in Cleveland, right by the lake. I was more a fan of the umbrella stroller- more confining, but fewer stares.
I'm with you on the melon thing, except watermelons.yum.
The smell of cantaloupes is truly gross.
as for the leash concept,
I have yet to encounter a leashed kid, but I guess I would feel pretty bad for the parents..
If you need one you need one...thankfully we don't.
yet.
fingers crossed.
Sometimes I've actually considered getting a leash for Rosie, because she is a terror to take in stores. She will literally twist her arm away from you until she escapes, and then run at top speed until she crashes into something. But part of my reason for not doing it is I'd get tired of all the dirty looks, explanations, etc. that I'd receive. And well, I just am not sure how I feel about it anyway.
I am a slave to watermelon. I do whatever it bids me.
damn the pet hair. damn it, I say. it maketh everything so very, very hairy. including my child's face/mouth/nose/tongue/bottom/etc.
argh.
Even the smell of watermelon shampoo makes me gag. Yuckers. I do enjoy a few types of melon but watermelon was never meant to be eaten (in my humble opinion).
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