Sunday, March 23, 2008

Love is blind

What's worse than being hugely pregnant, feeling horrible pelvic pain, having constant heartburn, and not able to kick back and relax because the baby is pushing your lungs into your throat, making it impossible to breath?

(not to mention not being able to have a blasted glass of wine, for chrissake.)

Going through all that while BLIND!

Whoohoo!

After an unfortunate meeting of Chicky's index finger and my naked eye I was left sightless for about 36 hours this weekend .

Oh the PAIN!

Who knew a good old fashioned eye gouge could hurt so much? It was so horrible that I could not open either eye. Even opening the good one would cause white hot pain to shoot through the injured one.

The only saving grace was that it happened about 15 minutes before Mr. C got home for the weekend, so I was guaranteed a nursemaid and seeing-eye husband. After a quick trip to the ER where the doctor told me what I already knew (Yep, that kid got you good, a nice gash right in the cornea) she sent me home with eye goop and a scrip for Percocet for the pain.

Sweet Jeebus, I looove Percocet. Percocet = Another, way better word for "happy".

Percocet makes everything better. Can't see? Just pop a Perc, put on a rerun marathon of America's Next Top Model and sleep the day away! You don't need to see those skinny, catty bitches anyway.

I can see now. Things are a little blurry in that eye but it's feeling better and I'm back to my old surly, pregnant-and-not-happy-about-it self.

But the really bad part is that I can't take the Percocet any more. Life with a pre-schooler is sooo much better heavily medicated.


*If you haven't asked me a question yet, you still have time. I'll start answering those bad boys tomorrow so for today, ask away!*

25 comments:

Mac and Cheese said...

Sounds pretty awful. Hooray for drugs!

Ladybug's Picnic said...

Um, you got any extra percocet? If you sell it for less than 20 bucks its totally not trafficking...

I'm so not kidding.

Heather said...

Ow. Now MY eyes hurt from reading about yours!

Mrs. Chicken said...

The same thing happened to me last year at the end of a very long and ugly February. You're right, it hurts like a beeyatch. Glad to hear you are on the mend!

Kyla said...

Oh no! Glad you can see again!

Hannah said...

I totally just shut my eyes tight in sympathy. Holy shit, I can't even imagine how bad that must have hurt.

Percocet? Mmm...

daysgoby said...

Oh God, I did that to myself once (I am extremely talented that way) and reading your words brought back that roar of pain in my ears, the smarting in the eye....

although sadly not the Percoset. (You lucky thang!)

Ree said...

"I looove Percocet. Percocet = Another, way better word for "happy"."

It's only noon on Monday, and that is soooooo going to be the best line of the week. Snort.

Cakabaker said...

Sorr5y to hear about your eye, glad you are seeing better!

Avalon said...

Oh Mrs. C~~~ Corneal abrasion = Oh, so painful. i hope you are back to your unmedicated, sighted self soon.

JaniceNW said...

New advertising slogan: Percocet~the ultimate Happy Pill for Parenting!!!!

I thought Xanax was the happy drug but I think you changed my mind. LOL.

kittenpie said...

OH, ugh! My nightmare is having something awful happen to my eyes. I woudl be beyond lost. Not to mention totally unable to perform my job... Hope it keeps getting better fast!

beth said...

Wow, I warn the kids about poking each others eyes out but I never knew anyone it had actually happened to. Thank goodness for good drugs.

Oh, The Joys said...

OH, HAI!!!

I CAN HAZ UR DRUGZ???!!!

mamatulip said...

OUCH.

Jen M. said...

Percocet does rock. I am so sorry about your eye! I was wincing just reading this. Yikes.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Oh goodness that sounds awful! I took a fork in the eye a while back and didn't lose my sight at all. Yikes!!! I'd have Chicky in mittens for a while.

Amanda said...

Stuck in a third trimester stupor of my own, no questions come to mind, but damn, I feel your pelvic pain. And this, how about burping like you've just finished your third turkey dinner in one sitting when in truth you've had a bite of toast and a single fucking grape?

Julie Pippert said...

No...seriously? Oooh that sucks rocks, lava ones. Wow. I've been elbowed, poked, jabbed, and stabbed but nothing ER worthy (so far) or sight eliminating!

Glad you are better (or Percoceted enough to not care, LOL).

Sandra said...

Ouch babe! That sucks. It's all fun and games until someone looses an eye.

Redneck Mommy said...

You are bringing back unwanted memories of a certain cowboy friend and having to pull a chisel out of his gaping eye.

Ouch. And since I saw him howl with pain I can only imagine how much that must have hurt.

I'm gonna drink some wine and toast your recovered eye sight, just for you. Because you know, you can't do it.

What are friends for?

justmylife said...

Percocet has so been my best friend for the last 2 months! Glad you are feeling better.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Percoset is sooooo my Best Friend.

Daisy said...

Just when you think things couldn't get any worse -- they do. Hope you're feeling and seeing better soon!