Thursday, December 21, 2006

Dear Santa, (a very Chicky Christmas)


I'm not sure who you are or why I'm supposed to write to you but my mom (you know, the looney one who always asks for a puppy for Christmas, even though she's, like, a gazillion years old now and we already have two big dogs) insisted that I needed to leave you a note along with the cookies and milk on Christmas Eve.

First of all, listen, dude, that's my milk. Hands off. You're lucky I'm sharing my Snickerdoodles with you. And from all the pictures I've seen, you could really use some more vegetables in your diet. I know! You can have my carrots and broccoli! I'll save some for you. If the dogs don't get to them first they're all yours.

My mom has been trying to explain to me who you are and what you're all about, but I'm only 20 months so I hope you'll cut me some slack if I don't stand in front of you in awed reverence at some mall. I've made it clear that there will be no sitting on your lap so my parents aren't even going to try this year. However, I think they're conspiring for next year so I'll warn you - I might pee on your legs. I'll just say sorry in advance so we can avoid an awkward scene later.

Mom keeps telling me stories about how you come down the chimney (uh, what's a chimney?) and leave these things called "presents" under that green, sparkly thing I'm not supposed to touch. And I guess you leave more of those present things in that big sock with my name on it. Okay, big guy, I'm going to let you in on a little secret - socks are for taking off right before your mom or dad try to take you out of the house. You get bonus points if you give them to the dogs to chew on. Yeah, they love that.

I guess this is the time to tell you that I've been on my best behavior all year. Okay, so I pull on the dogs' tails and I throw toys at the cats... and maybe I throw a few tantrums a day, but I really do try to keep it down to one or two. It's just so frustrating to be a toddler these days, what with all the pressure and stress I'm under. My mom drags me to music class and playgroups. She doesn't let me watch Elmo whenever I want. And she tries to make me eat, ew, healthy food. What's so wrong about wanting to eat nothing but crackers? That's what I'd like to know. I'd like to think that my cuteness makes up for all my naughty days. I'm planning on riding this cute thing for as long as I can, so get used to it.



Okay, let's get down to the nitty gritty: The toys. My mom and dad would like you to bring me lots of wooden toys that don't require batteries and are supposed to be, um, educational? That's great and all, I like blocks as much as the next kid, but what I really want is one of those TMX Elmo dolls. That little red monster rocks my world. Can you make that happen, Santa? Dad said I didn't have a snowball's chance in H - E - double hockey stick of getting one (whatever that means) but I know you'll come through for me. Santa's my homeboy. Aw yeah.

(Actually, my mom would really like you to bring me a "vocabulary". Whatever that is.)

Before I go, please don't forget to share those cookies with the reindeer. I always share my food with the dogs, it drives my parents crazy but it just seems fair. You know? If those deer are pulling your fat butt around all night it's the least you can do.

Thanks, Santa. You're okay in my book.

Love,

Chicky


P.S. - You're supposed to be magic, right? Can you do something about getting me out of having to wear this horrible outfit?


No offense, Santa, you can pull it off and I'm sure your suit is much nicer, but this just doesn't work for me. If you make it go away I'll make sure Mom and Dad leave you something good under that cookie plate, if you catch my meaning. Buy Mrs. Claus something pretty.

51 comments:

aunt chicky said...

my niece is so cute, she can make any ugly, itchy polyester outfit look good.

Avalon said...

THAT IS THE BEST PICTURE EVER!! Seriously. Sorry for the yelling, but you really need to enter the Sants-suited Chicky into some kind of contest!

IAI said...

She doesn't even look miserable!
I love the laptop picture, by the way. Is that the old one? (I hope, I hope.)

Tuesday Girl said...

She doesn't have to ask for shoes, those shoes in the picure are so cute!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

God that is so cute. Great letter Chicky...

And you're such a great typer, you don't need a vocabulary yet...tee hee

Lara said...

wow, she's a clever writer for only 20 months. you must be very proud of her mad letter-writing skillz. yeah, i said skillz. with a z. 'cause chicky baby's my homegirl.

word.

ali said...

oh lordy...she's the cutest santa i've ever seen!

jen said...

perfect. you did well.

and the outfit looks mostly harmless - nicely done.

EC said...

I think the outfit is WAY too adorable!!!!

radioactive girl said...

You know she looks adorable, right? All your concern over the outfit and she is beautiful!

cry it out! said...

The holidays from Halloween to Christmas are my favorite -- so many people put so many kids in so many ridiculously cute costumes. Turkey. Ham. Pumpkin Pie. Carols. Yeah, sure, whatever. Nothing beats a cute-ass santa costume and a kid who takes her socks off right before you leave the house. You guys rock!

nomotherearth said...

That has got to be the best Santa letter ever! Especially for one so young...talk about vocabulary! ;-)

Sparky Duck said...

heh, that green thing im not supposed to touch

something blue said...

I wish you could have seen my face when I got to Chicky's Santa outfit! OMG! She so rocks it.

I'm glad to see her gangsta mob ways with Santa. A little green always gets you what you want.

mrsmogul said...

I understand about the wooden toys. I bought two toys that plays music and sing etc and it's like enough!!

CUTE OUTFIT!!! MERRY XMAS!!

Sandra said...

That's one articulate 20 month old. And that photo?!? Oh my ... she slays me :)

Dana said...

This is such a cute letter! Yay Chicky Baby! You must have learned your writing skills from your mamma!!

Too cute!

Maybe that Santa suit isn't so bad ;) ...you could always say she's allergic to the fabric?? That might work!

Stacy said...

Your daughter is so precious! (In that middle picture, she looks so much like my own daughter that I did a double take.)

And she even makes that hideous Santa outfit look cute.

Heather said...

So cute! (and eek our dogs chew socks now - no idea what chaos will ensue when we have kids!)

wendy boucher said...

What a little angel. Even when decked out in polyester Santa gear. Merry Christmas Chicky!

Waya said...

What a cutie pie!! What she really needs is a laptop for her own blog!! And yes, she can make a burlap bag looks fashionable!! Your Dad's girlfriend will absolutely loves it!! Good Karma Mama!!

Her Bad Mother said...

Those photos are going to secure you special cred at the North Pole. Those, and the cookies.

Anonymous said...

such a cute picture!!

tmx rocks! he's so cute :) we're starting to see them in stores around here so maybe you'll run across one.

i've decided crackers must be nutritional enough as my little girl has lived off of them for about 3 of her 13 months on earth...well, that and cheese

Ashley said...

and that was me who posted the last comment (stupid blogger posting as anonymous)

PunditMom said...

Mmmm. Snickerdoodles!

Blog Antagonist said...

Good grief, even that godawful get up cannot disguise her preternatural cuteness!

Kristi said...

How could you NOT love that outfit? I just want to eat her up, she's so cute. What a little snickerdoodle.

carrie said...

I hope that Chicky gets everything she wants for Christmas, no matter how annoying it may be!!!

And Mommy too, a'hem, Mr. Chicky you hear that? Something purty, she said!

One last thing, I'd ride that cute wagon too, if I were as cute as she!!

Happy Holidays.

Carrie

Mamacita Tina said...

Boy, Chicky Baby tells it as it is. Yup, Santa, needs a healthier image, poor fellow. As I eat dozens of cookies at one sitting, I prefer to think of him as my role model.

Kate said...

No fooling around with Santa for Chicky baby, huh?

And I agree with the majority -- how cute is she???

modmom said...

awwwwww cutie santa looks happy :)

Christina said...

Hey Chicky, check out Toys R Us - they've started getting more TMX Elmos in, although they're only in Spanish. But hey, at least you can learn a new language without having to watch Dora.

And yeah, you look adorable in that outfit. But I can totally understand not wanting to wear it.

Rachel said...

That was just too cute!!!

Damselfly said...

Chicky baby, I hope you get everything you wish for and more. Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...
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Kristen said...

I love that picture!! Merry Christmas! I promise to visit more frequently after the holidays!

BethGo said...

Chicky knows how to work that Santa suit!
Very cute.

Gunfighter said...

Your child is cetainly cute enough to get away with her naughty days.

Just you wait about explaining the whole Santa thing... my daughter is eight, and thinks that communicate with Santa via email and instant message.

Pete Aldin said...

that's it girl; start defining your boundaries and being assertive young!

Lisa said...

Those pics of Chicky Baby are SO ADOREABLE! Can you clone her and give the clone to me? I want a little girl JUST LIKE HER!

Hope your Christmas was fun!

Kristin said...

I fell in love with the Chicky blog by reading the infamous letter from Mrs. Chicky's psyche to Mr. Chicky... now, I find I must love you more as clever correspondence runs in the family.

& that child rocks the itchy polyester... Chicky Baby has STYLE!

Staci said...

Hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

julia said...

Oh
My
Gawd
She is too cute.

But that suit really is as awful as you said.

Jenny said...

"That big sock with my name on it." Ha!

I love, love, love that picture.

Binkytown said...

I love it too! What awesome blackmail that will be when Chicky is 16 and her friends come over! Yeah!

Mommy off the Record said...

Santa never looked so cute! Love the picture. Chicky Baby has never looked cuter.

Hope you guys had a nice Christmas.

mo-wo said...

That headshot in the pink sweater is a money shot. And, she do make the poly-joy-jumpsuit look ok too.

Happy Christmas CHICKIES!!

scribbit said...

Love the little future blogger at work picture. And the suit looks cute!

Jenifer said...

Well the suit doesn't look THAT bad.... and at least she's smiling, really I expected something akin to the face she had on the naughty part of your christmas card :)

ewe are here said...

'Cute' is a massive understatement. she's absolutely, positively adorable. Even in the dreaded suit.

Jess Riley said...

I love the follow-up photo! And what's that? A SMILE in the suit?!?! Love it. Bravo to Baby Chicky!! (And to you for sharing the photo with the rest of us!)