tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post116948462195758889..comments2024-03-06T05:16:15.314-05:00Comments on Chicky Chicky Baby: Objects in mirror are closer than they appearChicky Chicky Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18056206889322232109noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169990953980383532007-01-28T08:29:00.000-05:002007-01-28T08:29:00.000-05:00Wow, did this post resonate with me. My aunt and ...Wow, did this post resonate with me. My aunt and uncle (dad's side) had the same fridge stocker with Cokes in the basement of their house, and my cousins and I had the run of the house during our visits. They lived in a small town in New York State about 3 hours from my hometown -- my mom's family was all near my hometown.<BR/><BR/>But now we (J and the girls and I) are in another state, and as you said, we must make the effort to keep in touch -- presumably because we're the ones who left. It didn't bother me much until we had the girls, and now I find I want them to grow up knowing their family. It's so hard, though. I would never want to move back and become enveloped in the small-town drama and family soap operas, but here we really don't have anyone. <BR/><BR/>It's tough, that's for sure.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169838876086122702007-01-26T14:14:00.000-05:002007-01-26T14:14:00.000-05:00I can relate to this. I grew up in a small town (a...I can relate to this. I grew up in a small town (also in Mass.) and left it behind for NJ. We're over an hour from my husband's family and nearly 4 hours from mine. There are days when I long to move back, but only for my family. My hometown has nothing else to offer. It's a tough situation.Kimberlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07628744950564301288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169732433567035022007-01-25T08:40:00.000-05:002007-01-25T08:40:00.000-05:00We intentionally moved close enough to/far enough ...We intentionally moved close enough to/far enough from the family after kid #2 because we wanted our children to know their extended family. Living across country made it nearly impossible for a solid bond to form. We haven't regretted the decision, and frankly, we're happy to be "home" on the East coast even though our exact location is new to us both. I think it's good to leave for awhile, but many people feel the tug to return.Ruth Dynamitehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06161626814106717754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169704763437091102007-01-25T00:59:00.000-05:002007-01-25T00:59:00.000-05:00I suppose we can more forward regardless but there...I suppose we can more forward regardless but there is an undeniable preciousness to the way it was. I loved my circle of family for all the reasons you outline... Cousins rock! All the makeup advice and handme downs you want without the room sharing. right onmo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169649582985284442007-01-24T09:39:00.000-05:002007-01-24T09:39:00.000-05:00My parents grew up in with lots extended family cl...My parents grew up in with lots extended family close by in your neck of the woods - Cape Ann. Both left for the west coast as young adults, so my sister and I didn't grow up with extended family nearby. So we're not used to it.<BR/><BR/>My husband, OTOH, grew up surrounded by extended family. Aunts and uncles and cousins in Scotland, and summers spent in Norway with even more cousins and aunts and uncles... And I have to admit, I loved having that for MF while we were still in Scotland and when we were in Norway this summer. My family still lives in the states, so we're still far away and we will have to go to great lengths to see each other.<BR/><BR/>But economic realities dictated our move south into England this past year, and they could eventually take us farther still. And our current house search is also leaving us scratching our heads: move out to a smaller village where the pace is a bit slower and the schools are smaller/better, or stay in the city where I have better access to lots of things... I have mixed feelings about it all. There are no easy answers sometimes.ewe are herehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13339650361453626546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169605622351443732007-01-23T21:27:00.000-05:002007-01-23T21:27:00.000-05:00Having moved away a long time ago (and having drea...Having moved away a long time ago (and having dreamed about doing so for years before I actually did it), I wouldn't have it any other way for Kyle and me and our girls.<BR/><BR/>It's a tough call. On one hand, I cherish my independence above all else. But on the other hand, I have to make that much more of an effort to ensure my girls know their extended family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169589205956546622007-01-23T16:53:00.000-05:002007-01-23T16:53:00.000-05:00You probably know, I've wrestled with this one. I ...You probably know, I've wrestled with this one. I don't know how to reconcile distance and family; all I know is that the heart aches for trying. You're right that this may not be progress of the sort that really moves us meaningfully forward; how can it be if it pulls us so far from our past?Her Bad Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03535958887714152413noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169569485147106702007-01-23T11:24:00.000-05:002007-01-23T11:24:00.000-05:00what is the right distance? we live in the same me...what is the right distance? we live in the same metro area as my in-laws, who are not the close type. 4 hrs from my mom, across the country from my father and sister. until my dad retired and moved here to be near me! it's been great, especially since we needed such support dealing with my daughter's leukemia-they have been a God-send. but you know what? when we needed them, the inlaws stepped up, too. who knew? now that the dust has settled a bit, the closeness of my parents can sometimes chafe. <BR/>i still miss my sister like crazy, tho. it's one thing to be away from your parents--that's adulthood, no? but when you're away from your siblings, it's a different kind of pain. plus, that's where the cousins come from. our girl has no close cousins (the only ones she has are 10+ years older, anyway), and my husband's close friends who live in town aren't having kids yet. that's the kind of childhood my husband had, while i had the kind with tons of cousins and regular visits with them. we both agreed we wanted her experience to be more like mine, but you can't force other people to have kids just so your child will have cousins to play with. can you?megachickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07803819761757537823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169566497144521532007-01-23T10:34:00.000-05:002007-01-23T10:34:00.000-05:00I live a 2 and a half hour flight away from my clo...I live a 2 and a half hour flight away from my closest family. My husband's family is a 10 hour day (7 hours in the air) away. I long for family. I long for it for my daughter and I long for it for me in my role as mother. We've been back from our Christmas visiting for over a month now and scarcely a day goes by without my daughter asking to get back on the airplane to visit her aunts. <BR/><BR/>And of course, each time we visit my daughter makes strange for the first few days b/c she is lucky if she sees these people twice a year. It breaks my heart in two.Madhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13416585771017767796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169564920509256302007-01-23T10:08:00.000-05:002007-01-23T10:08:00.000-05:00I've been consumed by these exact same thoughts th...I've been consumed by these exact same thoughts this week. When I was pregnant with #1, we moved back to my PA hometown, expecting to settle there for the rest of our lives. It didn't end up lik that, though. The year we were there was filled with family dinners and support, and then we moved away to someplace else. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through, and last week, when I was talking to my mom about my father's surgery and my brother's new baby and my nephew's depression, I would have given anything to still be living there. BUT - we are really happy here now, and the older the kids get the more I love the small town community vibe, and now if we had to pick between staying or moving back there, it would be a difficult choice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169562412590470882007-01-23T09:26:00.000-05:002007-01-23T09:26:00.000-05:00It can be tough sometimes, but I actually like a l...It can be tough sometimes, but I actually like a little distance. Not thrilled to hear my inlaws have sold their home and will be moving to the other side of the state from us. A lot closer (2-2.5 hours), but I've decided that's OK. It doesn't give my MIL an excuse to stay for a week because she spent a lot of $$ on a plane ticket. But it's close enough that, were there an emergency, they could be here (or us to them) pretty fast. Don't feel guilty for not wanting to go back. And don't feel guilty if you can't always be making the effort...they could try once in a while!Feliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07906947639906600830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169556856721568952007-01-23T07:54:00.000-05:002007-01-23T07:54:00.000-05:00we've ended up living somewhere that's the other s...we've ended up living somewhere that's the other side and end of the country from boths sets of relatives in a town where I'd never set foot til we viewed the house - it was necessary for work, but I really resent that, as you say, the responsibility for keeping in touch seems entirely our responsibilitydodohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15617322056885649095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169527460253099962007-01-22T23:44:00.000-05:002007-01-22T23:44:00.000-05:00excellent questions, madame chick. we often strug...excellent questions, madame chick. we often struggle with the same thing - how to move forward when the past didn't set an example easily understood....and what then, do we draw on, if not our past? whimsy and beer? luck and flowers? chickster, i really don't know...but i like that you are asking.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169521237732909792007-01-22T22:00:00.000-05:002007-01-22T22:00:00.000-05:00sometimes my in laws are more like family then my ...sometimes my in laws are more like family then my family can feel like. So I hear you totally, but distance is not always terrible. :)Sparky Duckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599649584020982942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169514924852235582007-01-22T20:15:00.000-05:002007-01-22T20:15:00.000-05:00I feel your pain. What a great and profound post.I feel your pain. What a great and profound post.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169506740429206842007-01-22T17:59:00.000-05:002007-01-22T17:59:00.000-05:00ZING! You hit me where it hurts today, as I sit lo...ZING! You hit me where it hurts today, as I sit lonely and longing for the company of my sister and my mom today. <BR/><BR/>I know we are living far from home in order to better our lives, and to make a secure future for the wee one.<BR/><BR/>Some days, like today, the price feels high.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11342425698876916791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169506663430671312007-01-22T17:57:00.000-05:002007-01-22T17:57:00.000-05:00I could hasve written this post. Right down to the...I could hasve written this post. Right down to the Coke's in the creepy basement. Every word, and I am speechless...The Domesticatorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08333326286672903879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169506232245961212007-01-22T17:50:00.000-05:002007-01-22T17:50:00.000-05:00I constantly struggle with this. I miss the closen...I constantly struggle with this. I miss the closeness of my extended family. I had no idea how much I would long for them after I had children. All of sudden the high cost of the living in the metropolitan center seems absurd. Yet I couldn't imagine permanently returning to my roots.ms bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06997925420763913039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169503844261136202007-01-22T17:10:00.000-05:002007-01-22T17:10:00.000-05:00I've lived far away from my parents, and now they ...I've lived far away from my parents, and now they are moving to be closer to me. I'm so psyched!!! It's one thing to live near your in-laws but a whole other thing to have your mom nearby. I'm so glad for my kids that they'll have both sets of grandparents in the 'hood. Now my siblings? That's a whole other story.Amie Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12317241081653904332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169503051250940842007-01-22T16:57:00.000-05:002007-01-22T16:57:00.000-05:00I think so long as you don't "forget" your roots, ...I think so long as you don't "forget" your roots, you will be fine.<BR/><BR/>It is you and Mr. C against the world and you can make a new "hometown" for Chicky Baby, as long as you're happy.<BR/><BR/>Carriecarriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04038972194323564240noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169502490388784252007-01-22T16:48:00.000-05:002007-01-22T16:48:00.000-05:00Hi - Love your blog, got here from Jess's Mindless...Hi - Love your blog, got here from Jess's Mindless Rambling blog. We moved from an "elite" town right outside of Boston, (hint - starts with an N, ends with an N) and moved out to Central MA. The schools in our previous town were top rated, but my own experience w/my kid there was less than great.<BR/><BR/>The schools in this small town offer perks that the other, highly rated school never did. Housing is cheaper, people are friendly and welcoming, restaurants are seriously lacking, and commute time is longer for husband. <BR/><BR/>All in all, quite happy with our move to the middle of nowhere. Juest something to consider - you can find affordable housing on MA, but there are tradeoffs. As a matter of fact, there are 2 lovely colonials for sale in our developement in the low 400's.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169499539218850952007-01-22T15:58:00.000-05:002007-01-22T15:58:00.000-05:00I would give anything to live near my family now t...I would give anything to live near my family now that I'm a parent.<BR/><BR/>Truly.<BR/><BR/>It is so hard not to be near any of them and I feel like the kids are missing out on them.OhTheJoyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05031731198115388411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169497937940457212007-01-22T15:32:00.000-05:002007-01-22T15:32:00.000-05:00My mum's sibllings (my aunts and uncles) lived eit...My mum's sibllings (my aunts and uncles) lived either in the same house as my grandparents or in the house next door. We were the rebels who lived a 30 minute drive away. I think my cousins, aunts and uncles have been to my parents' house fewer than 10 times in their lives, whereas I know where everything is in their kitchens. It's been an odd contrast - I'm the 'city kid' who grew up in a town of 12,000, and while my cousins are close with each other (but not my sister and I), I don't really think we missed out on anything. We had happy, well adjusted lives even if we were the 'outsiders'. Looking back I wouldn't change it.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04887803142491240945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169497752044682022007-01-22T15:29:00.000-05:002007-01-22T15:29:00.000-05:00I grew up with a really small, dysfunctional famil...I grew up with a really small, dysfunctional family. My husband, however, grew up with a huge family and they all get along. It was an adjustment. We moved closer to them to get away from my relatives....who knew they'd follow us?<BR/><BR/>But now that Boo works out of town, we can live anywhere. And with the memories chasing us and haunting us everywhere we go, we have started considering moving.<BR/><BR/>But can I take my kids away from their cousins? Especially knowing what it is like growing up with out any?<BR/><BR/>What is fair? It is such a tough decision. You're not alone. We're struggling with it too.Redneck Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09947243296264284961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1169496460030913932007-01-22T15:07:00.000-05:002007-01-22T15:07:00.000-05:00I am from eastern Washington state and living now,...I am from eastern Washington state and living now, in upstate NY with my husband and our 2 girls. We knew going into this someone would be far from home. We are in an emotional tug of war right now as well. So sorry, it's no fun at all.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06785403140233495009noreply@blogger.com