tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post382238610112004817..comments2024-03-06T05:16:15.314-05:00Comments on Chicky Chicky Baby: Crying in my w(h)ineChicky Chicky Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18056206889322232109noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-34690301250792653812008-10-12T22:10:00.000-05:002008-10-12T22:10:00.000-05:00I'm with Kittenpie. Having daycare for the 3 year...I'm with Kittenpie. Having daycare for the 3 year old, and a chance to chill with just the baby and me has saved me.<BR/><BR/>I also think having a recurring event where you get out entirely on your own (like an art class or something) is rejuvenating.<BR/><BR/>But it's not like I have my shit together or anything. I feel this past year that I've simultaneously done the best and the worst parenting of my life.Run ANChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06088821030860597465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-70063431352862333222008-09-20T23:23:00.000-05:002008-09-20T23:23:00.000-05:00I've not read all the comments yet, so I'm sure ot...I've not read all the comments yet, so I'm sure others have already said something like this. My first child was not too bad at two, but three? Whew - it was really bad. I thought about going back to work, too. I went into therapy. I tried to get my husband into therapy, too, convinced it was us. I still don't know for sure, but now she's four - and things are much, much, much better. She's a doll - still exceedingly stubborn, but not maniacal - quite tolerable. And we didn't change that I know of - just got through it by gritting our teeth. Also, in case it's pertinent - our girls are 21 mos. apart and we were going through some very stressful things too. Hang in there - you're not alone - and there are other survivors of three year olds - survivors who are damned glad the kid ain't three anymore!SMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17986540464794429363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-29716446006844094732008-09-16T18:33:00.000-05:002008-09-16T18:33:00.000-05:00Take them to your parents and leave them there for...Take them to your parents and leave them there for the night! Go home take a warm bath and drink a nice bottle of wine!Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15553577112521451396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-73748505498578983012008-09-16T01:45:00.000-05:002008-09-16T01:45:00.000-05:00Linky.. Gotta said:on patienceandas ifLinky.. Gotta said:<BR/><A HREF="http://motherwoman.blogspot.com/2008/05/52-reasons-patience.html" REL="nofollow">on patience</A><BR/>and<BR/><A HREF="http://motherwoman.blogspot.com/2008/04/bad-parenting-confessional-away.html" REL="nofollow">as if</A>mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-2311415044211591472008-09-16T01:44:00.000-05:002008-09-16T01:44:00.000-05:00You are the best thing that COULD ever happen to t...You are the best thing that COULD ever happen to those kids.<BR/><BR/>You are the best.<BR/><BR/>And, a couple things I gotta say. Gotta said:<BR/>http://motherwoman.blogspot.com/2008/05/52-reasons-patience.html<BR/>and<BR/>http://motherwoman.blogspot.com/2008/04/bad-parenting-confessional-away.html<BR/><BR/>love ya.mo-wohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10934156423936866994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-91205136106089026152008-09-14T13:26:00.000-05:002008-09-14T13:26:00.000-05:00It truly is Terrible Three's not Two's! I...It truly is Terrible Three's not Two's! I advise you to drink -- perhaps heavily?<BR/><BR/>Good advice from jozet with the "I'm sorry, I can't understand you when you talk like that, can you use your nice voice?" This works against shrieking and whining.<BR/><BR/>Make time for you -- just you. You never care for yourself when you are caring for kids, but if you do not it is hard to withstand the demands. <BR/><BR/>You will not be like parents were... you think about consequences and have beautiful empathy. You are wonderful even if you don't feel like you are.<BR/><BR/>Also, "Love & Logic." Read and brainwash yourself to use the methods -- when I'm strong they work well even on my tweens!Grim Reality Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02080844233014641611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-37852442890077184992008-09-12T13:40:00.000-05:002008-09-12T13:40:00.000-05:00One more...can you stand me?Whenever my kids used ...One more...can you stand me?<BR/><BR/>Whenever my kids used the whiney voice, I would say, "I'm sorry. I can't understand what you're saying. Could you say it again more quietly?" And continue to play dumb. Or rather, deaf.<BR/><BR/>I've also told my kids that because I have old ears, I can't hear when they yell things to me. I lie, but it works. :-)josetteplank.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16790825543155685363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-80911374247097576112008-09-12T12:37:00.000-05:002008-09-12T12:37:00.000-05:00being six months preggo with my first I don't have...being six months preggo with my first I don't have any tips or advice to share - but I will say that I'm sorry you've had to deal with the blame for 34 years when you so obviously didn't deserve it, and I'm also sorry that you are having problems with Chicky's behavior right now... I wish I did have some helpful tips to share, but I know that all your fabulous mommy-readers will be all over that. For me I'll just say good luck, best wishes - and I'll say a little prayer for y'all... {HUGS}Rustihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17912613768193549878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-55171185199304780202008-09-12T08:12:00.000-05:002008-09-12T08:12:00.000-05:00I'm a life coach for busy, stressed women and you ...I'm a life coach for busy, stressed women and you really are not alone! I'm based in the UK, I love your blog, am new to blogging and have seen lots and love yours - I love yours because you are absolutely true to how you feel and write with total honesty. Take it one job at a time. I have no kids but 3 dogs and a husband so it feels like I have 4 kids sometimes! I read Cesar Milan's book, he's The Dog Whispherer - Sky 3, his advice of Calm Assertive energy works with humans too and my clients are using it with their kids - might help! Hang in there this is just a phase xLifeBehindTheCoach.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02694552259219212377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-75244705818798184152008-09-11T20:54:00.000-05:002008-09-11T20:54:00.000-05:00Lord...I keep thinking EVERY year older is worse! ...Lord...I keep thinking EVERY year older is worse! Maybe when they are 30 and married and have kids of their own, then I will think it is easy!<BR/><BR/>Hang in there! Not sure if I am telling you that or reminding myself....<BR/><BR/>JMAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-23176245008291994032008-09-11T12:21:00.000-05:002008-09-11T12:21:00.000-05:00I second these suggestions...Get a sitter to take ...I second these suggestions...<BR/><BR/>Get a sitter to take them to the park or something and YOU need to go do something. A movie a peddi, a dive bar with dim lights....whatever.<BR/><BR/>Just a couple of afternoons perhaps.<BR/><BR/>Also get tough with Whiney-Pants...<BR/><BR/>"I am not going to talk to you when you use that whiney voice. Go to your room and come back when your voice is back to normal..." Force her into the room if she doesn't go on her own accord and lean against the door!<BR/><BR/>Be tough mamma<BR/><BR/>And then praise the HELL out of her when she does even the tiniest thing right...<BR/><BR/>"mommy loved it how you said good morning in such a nice way..." you get the drift....Torihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14028416476568962300noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-86558914961304159432008-09-10T19:04:00.000-05:002008-09-10T19:04:00.000-05:00I 2nd, 3rd, 4th everyone who recommended some sort...I 2nd, 3rd, 4th everyone who recommended some sort of help to get time away from each other. Mother's helper, daycare, babysitter - anything! Daycare and some really reliable babysitters saved my sanity during the younger years, and now we have a couple babysitters who the kids have known for years and who I totally trust. It's a win/win thing, really.Velmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425566563311066790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-53096206232206939992008-09-10T18:48:00.000-05:002008-09-10T18:48:00.000-05:00Daycare. SEriously. Three is a tough, brutal time,...Daycare. SEriously. Three is a tough, brutal time, and without daycare at least a few mornings a week to give you a tiny break, I can't imagine how you'd do it. Sending you hugs, though, and best wishes, and a reminder that you will see the other side!kittenpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05215443551546036909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-29183282723507367912008-09-10T15:02:00.000-05:002008-09-10T15:02:00.000-05:00Echoing Jozet's comment re a mother's helper. I d...Echoing Jozet's comment re a mother's helper. I don't know what I'd have done for the past three years without our next-door neighbor. I'm also a fan of quality day care, budget-permitting.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes all you and your children need are a few hours away from each other. And that's not something to feel guilty about.Julie Marshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05386446012443269817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-91605892028392689542008-09-10T11:04:00.000-05:002008-09-10T11:04:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-33820767763025581472008-09-09T20:18:00.000-05:002008-09-09T20:18:00.000-05:00DeLurking here, 1st off love the blog, Secondly 3 ...DeLurking here, 1st off love the blog, <BR/><BR/>Secondly 3 is a lot worse that 2, but then again I'm with a 5yr old and sometimes 3 was a walk in the park.<BR/><BR/>Now that being said, sounds like all of you are going through some major life stresses, and Chicky is feeling it more than ever.<BR/><BR/>You're not a bad or worthless mom, you've recongized the problem and you are looking for a way to deal with it. <BR/><BR/>Personally, I couldn't be a SAHM, I admire the women who can but I simple can't to it. I'm self employed and I work 5 days a week, my daughter has been in daycare since she was 3mos old. It hasn't hurt our relationship at all, and I feel that I'm a much better mom for going to work than being frazzeled at home.<BR/><BR/>You have to do what's right for you, there are some great suggestions on here for you to look at but you have to do what your comfortable with.<BR/><BR/>Good luck<BR/><BR/>michelleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-86891999465510914792008-09-09T19:52:00.000-05:002008-09-09T19:52:00.000-05:00I don't have any advice because I haven't yet figu...I don't have any advice because I haven't yet figured out the answer to that myself. I just know all my friends with older kids deserve a big, giant <I>fuck you</I> for not telling me that the threes were worse than the twos until my daughter's third birthday.Not Afraid to Use Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11622378209801018927noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-32815035637570814582008-09-09T17:10:00.000-05:002008-09-09T17:10:00.000-05:00Nothing original to add to all of the above, but b...Nothing original to add to all of the above, but boy do I feel better for having 3yo who acts like a baby after reading all these comments. She tires me out, and the addition of our newborn makes it harder to go someplace to burn off steam. All problems are temporary (and will be replaced with new ones, I guess)Taniahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09886049581948361060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-10820850793139462772008-09-09T15:20:00.000-05:002008-09-09T15:20:00.000-05:00As you've gathered you are not alone! I had a ...As you've gathered you are not alone! I had a daughter in Feb and my son turned 3 in July. No one says anything about the terrible threes! My kids go to day care, my 3 year old gets a sleepover with grandma & grandpa every Monday night and he's still a whiny little sh*t (a loveable one though) a lot of the time. So it's not you, it's not me, it's them. I have a 17 year old stepson (a 14 year old one too) and he's a whiny little sh*t for different reasons. But it just goes to show that they don't grow out of it. <BR/><BR/>Hang in there!LizPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11642271629027155859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-61932882131352729962008-09-09T15:08:00.000-05:002008-09-09T15:08:00.000-05:00This will probably not help, but I go to work. I d...This will probably not help, but I go to work. I don't love my job, but it gives my children much needed time away from me and a social interaction I just couldn't possibly give them myself. They go to daycare 4 days a week, the other 3 days we are all together as a family. I'll tell you what, by Monday they are ready to go back to "school" and play with their friends. (FYI: my daughter is 2 and my son is 1)<BR/><BR/>It shouldn't make you feel like shit, it should make you feel human and that is nothing to be upset about.Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05108595974729471061noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-86067967941134431542008-09-09T14:49:00.000-05:002008-09-09T14:49:00.000-05:00Do not feel like shit for being exhausted. You are...Do not feel like shit for being exhausted. You are an amazing mother for recognizing your exhaustion, the effect its having on chicky and more importantly for having the courage to ask for help. Can the grandparents take chicky and cc for a few hours so that you can just sleep and veg? Daycare is a great idea. Having a break and being a refreshed attentive mother is better than where you are now. Huge HUGS!ScientistMotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02540317551396323613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-49569260171835670692008-09-09T14:35:00.000-05:002008-09-09T14:35:00.000-05:00Thank you for this post. I about lost it last nig...Thank you for this post. I about lost it last night after dealing with a screaming toddler that never seems to be happy! I told my husband I am so much happier at work and then the guilt set in. I know how you feel. <BR/>Parenting is harder than I ever thought possible.Linleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13183473187010124274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-28414715947884805882008-09-09T13:33:00.000-05:002008-09-09T13:33:00.000-05:00You are so not alone! My older daughter (just tur...You are so not alone! My older daughter (just turned 4) is much tougher to deal with than my younger (about to turn 2).<BR/><BR/>I was feeling completely overwhelmed at one time because of the constant fighting and whining and I realized that it's because I just don't get a break. So, I decided to go back to school at night 2 or 3 days a week to finish up my degree. It's really helped me to appreciate my girls and my husband and it gives me something that is just mine.<BR/><BR/>It also helped once she started preschool last year. She learned to love and I loved the little bit of time that I got to spend with my youngest.<BR/><BR/>You'll get through it and your kids will be fine.Melissa Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15789227414468080853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-44525132611969364872008-09-09T13:09:00.000-05:002008-09-09T13:09:00.000-05:00I remember that day!!! The day my husband came ho...I remember that day!!! The day my husband came home from work and I told him that I had to go back to work because our son needed someone who was capable of taking care of him. Because if I was unable to get him to nap, eat, sleep or even smile for one more day I might throw myself off a bridge. <BR/><BR/>Of course, I listened to him tell me what a great mom I am and didn't believe a word of it. Because let's face it... the proof is in the pudding (the unhappy, unfed, poorly sleeping infant being the pudding). You might think that I took his advice and got a grandma to come help out for a few hours so I could get some much needed rest and relaxation. But, I didn't. Much like you probably won't. Why, I am not sure. Part of me thinks that it's because my mother and my mother in law are really sucky babysitters (because they are). Another part of me thinks that it was because I knew it wouldn't be like that forever, and that if we worked on it together, my son and I could find our own rhythm. <BR/><BR/>And I was right. It didn't last forever. It lasted a few weeks. And during those weeks sometimes I thought I was going to lose it. But, during that time I was getting to know my son and what he needed. Our kids' needs are constantly changing and we can't expect that what we were doing yesterday will work forever. But, we love our kids and are willing to do what it takes to help them through life's ups and downs.<BR/><BR/>That's not to say you shouldn't follow all the advice. If you have a decent sitter to take one, the other, or both girls off your hands for the afternoon, then by all means GO FOR IT!!!! But, keep in mind that this will not last forever!!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-37348458881763336562008-09-09T12:31:00.000-05:002008-09-09T12:31:00.000-05:00Os she three and half? It's a sneaky unknown creep...Os she three and half? It's a sneaky unknown creeper SCREWED UP age that no one tells you about. I actually write a post about Half Years a while back. They suck. I am sorry you are having a rough time.<BR/><BR/>On the other hand, even though I grew up in MD, would you believe my only experience with Hershey park was seeing Bonnie Raitt and Lyle Lovett there as an adult???Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16486438725653025356noreply@blogger.com