tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post115937352073689901..comments2024-03-06T05:16:15.314-05:00Comments on Chicky Chicky Baby: The Cunninghams we ain't... Wait. Maybe we are.Chicky Chicky Babyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18056206889322232109noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1160059605520196382006-10-05T09:46:00.000-05:002006-10-05T09:46:00.000-05:00I don't want to make a sweeping generalization her...I don't want to make a sweeping generalization here (but that's exactly what I'm going to do)... I think a lot of dads don't really know what to do when it comes to parenting an infant.<BR/><BR/>My husband has come a very long way since our monkey butt's birth. Sure, I think he's still got a long way to go - but, like you, some of it is my fault. It's easier for me to just do it than to explain how it's done.<BR/><BR/>The other day hubby put monkey in the car as we went out to run errands. We got to the store and hubby asked if I brought a pacifier. I looked at him, took a deep breath and said, "I think the more appropraite question is did *you* bring one." I think it finally sunk in, if just for a moment.Monkey Butt's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04676110138785303449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159895594410712212006-10-03T12:13:00.000-05:002006-10-03T12:13:00.000-05:00AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!DH LOVED to say "she doesn't want...AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!<BR/><BR/>DH LOVED to say "she doesn't want me, you take her" during bouts of colic. he even went so far as to blame the nursing for her colic "if you didn't nurse her all the time, she wouldn't be that way." ok, whatever.<BR/><BR/>To this day, even though the colic is gone and him and her have a better relationship, he stills shoves her at me when he can't get her to calm down in 2 minutes.<BR/><BR/><BR/>I SOOOOOO FEEEL YOU. You have no idea. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159881953257276642006-10-03T08:25:00.000-05:002006-10-03T08:25:00.000-05:00Wow, it all sounds familiar, except the hair cut. ...Wow, it all sounds familiar, except the hair cut. Your husband cares what you think and prepared the whole photo thing at least. Very cute. I am separated for a year now and it is not much more work now than before. At least now he has the kids two days a week and I'm not there to step in so I really do get a break. The only difficult times are like last night when I realized I was out of cat food, the cats let me know, but the kids were asleep so the cats are still hungry this morning. On my way to the store now. Keep blogging, love it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159816519065968332006-10-02T14:15:00.000-05:002006-10-02T14:15:00.000-05:00Just wait until the day she cuts her own hair righ...Just wait until the day she cuts her own hair right before your best friend/sister's wedding.Mama en Fuegohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15266558148926370416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159630506175187032006-09-30T10:35:00.000-05:002006-09-30T10:35:00.000-05:00Why does Blogger keep eating my comments?Sigh.I ha...Why does Blogger keep eating my comments?<BR/>Sigh.<BR/>I had a nice witty comment, too.<BR/>All I can remember is something snarky along the lines of Mr. C should be happy he woke up not dead, with the offending scissors still stuck in his body.<BR/>Then I hate some nice stuff, too. But I can't recall ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159578086828167862006-09-29T20:01:00.000-05:002006-09-29T20:01:00.000-05:00What are men thinking? I mean, come on! My husba...What are men thinking? I mean, come on! My husband and I own a coffee shop and a dad with his just turned two year old daughter stopped in for a hot chocolate. My friend and I commented on how cute she was and he said that she had just had her very first hair cut. He then said he hadn't told his wife and was hoping she wouldn't be too upset. My friend and I winced...very first haircut...hmmm. Did you save some of the hair we asked? He looked at us with a look of confusion and said "No." We winced again and suggested that he buy a dozen roses before he got home.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159575696723775352006-09-29T19:21:00.000-05:002006-09-29T19:21:00.000-05:00The only thing that keeps me cutting my boys hair ...The only thing that keeps me cutting my boys hair is the money I'm saving. What a pain. I love your post, a good chuckle.Scribbithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03178711182424809035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159539325733033022006-09-29T09:15:00.000-05:002006-09-29T09:15:00.000-05:00Sometimes I do wish I lived in a sitcom and everyt...Sometimes I do wish I lived in a sitcom and everything could have a neat, witty resolution. But alas I too am the single mom with a husband as Mrs. Fortune so aptly put it.<BR/><BR/>But a strike .. now I like the idea of a strike...you might be really on to something.Sandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17049745050947936354noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159503184175513202006-09-28T23:13:00.000-05:002006-09-28T23:13:00.000-05:00I think part of the problem is the rut, and the ot...I think part of the problem is the rut, and the other part is that we expect them to think like women. I martyr away, thinking "Why doesn't he notice? If someone I loved was exhausted and overworked, I would SO notice?" and meanwhile he is thinking (I guess) "If she needed something, surely she would tell me."<BR/><BR/>I solved my lack of help problem by moving out. Now my laundry issues are all my own.SUEB0Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301963922769609715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159496357371897152006-09-28T21:19:00.000-05:002006-09-28T21:19:00.000-05:00I heard every word you said and what I did (just r...I heard every word you said and what I did (just recently in fact) was explode and order him to start taking her for walks on the weekends. By himself. He didn't realize how much that would mean to me until I had to shout it at him. But I also realized that he needs to be trusted by me to do things with her without maiming her (kidding... sort of). So far it's been working well and I think we might be at 30/70 now which makes it a whole lot less painful. I just gotta remember to let him do it his way and relax. Best wishes and I hope you feel better.motherbumperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16053978199395919666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159491780444580842006-09-28T20:03:00.000-05:002006-09-28T20:03:00.000-05:00Oh wow, I laugh and cry for you about the haircut....Oh wow, I laugh and cry for you about the haircut. At least he took initiative and was trying to help, right? Ugh. <BR/><BR/>I think until men feel the same level of guilt/heartache over every little decision related to the child that we moms seem to... it will never truly be equal.<BR/><BR/>LisaKelly Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18212604900842069797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159483718756451392006-09-28T17:48:00.000-05:002006-09-28T17:48:00.000-05:00Yeah, I'd have been pissed off, too.I'm lucky that...Yeah, I'd have been pissed off, too.<BR/><BR/>I'm lucky that my husband does help out, although generally I do have to force him into some tasks. He will change diapers, but if both of us are in the room, I generally have to remind him that I changed the last few diapers and its his turn. His weak point is feeding Cordy. All he will do for food is make her a PB&J or run out to McD's.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159483463247056222006-09-28T17:44:00.000-05:002006-09-28T17:44:00.000-05:00That was us with our first (minus the hair cutting...That was us with our first (minus the hair cutting). You know what fixed the situation, having another kid. He was forced to take on some of the load when I was 8 months pregnant and ordered to take it easy. He is now a stay at home dad, and we actually share the load much better. Maybe a small strike would work?Heather Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715202288331819547noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159468632262955752006-09-28T13:37:00.000-05:002006-09-28T13:37:00.000-05:00I think you hit on something that so many of us ca...I think you hit on something that so many of us can relate to.Kristinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15120658117796151128noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159465464622694602006-09-28T12:44:00.000-05:002006-09-28T12:44:00.000-05:00Hmmm...this sounds familiar, "Me - care, feed, clo...Hmmm...this sounds familiar, "Me - care, feed, clothe, clean, diaper, teach, soothe, comfort, and discipline. Him - play fun games, teach bad habits, pitch in when I am otherwise physically unavailable." You're not alone. It can be frustrating. It's almost two-fold. I complain when he doesn't help enough, and when he tries, I complain because he's not doing it right. Poor guy can't win either way! I've also had the haircut battle...but not to the same extreme as you. My husband wants to take our little guy to his barber (the kind of barber that uses clippers). I'm totally afraid Monkey will come home bald! And then I'll have to kill my husband...or at least seriously hurt the man. Ha-ha!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159460760525557862006-09-28T11:26:00.000-05:002006-09-28T11:26:00.000-05:00Oh, sister friend, you capture the frustration of ...Oh, sister friend, you capture the frustration of so many moms I know<BR/><BR/><BR/>"And like a good percentage of those women I am finding out that, so far, co-parenting is an unrealized dream"<BR/><BR/>Not sure if you're my age or not, but my group, the Gen X girls, were raised to believe we could have it all AND the helpful "partner". When it doesn't pan out, the resentment can kill love and a relationship in one fell swoop.<BR/><BR/>Love & support to you. Don't give up on your hubs... he just needs to be "reeducated" I think we should start a camp for wayward fathers "Dad Reeducation Camps"<BR/><BR/>I think you should take a little weekend off and leave him in charge. Come hell or high water, he'll figure things out. And you'll get some deserved time off.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159460082182146982006-09-28T11:14:00.000-05:002006-09-28T11:14:00.000-05:00I know the cure for co-parent blues...work differe...I know the cure for co-parent blues...work different shifts. When baby M was 3 months old I went back to work on 2nd shift, hubby worked 1st shift so he was home alone and had no choice but do diapers, feeding and bedtime on his own. Now baby M is 3 and we have switched shifts (I'm on days, hubby has nights). Hubby does the morning routine and I get the nightime routine. Although sometimes it feels like we're both single parents, it has also helped us equally share the duties and I'm totally confident in his abilities to do everything for baby M.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159453805140059902006-09-28T09:30:00.000-05:002006-09-28T09:30:00.000-05:00ugh...i wrote about this a post or two back myself...ugh...i wrote about this a post or two back myself..it's a hard balance..and so infuriating sometimes. i know my control issues come out full force sometimes, and other times, well, they need to get their shit together, for the love of god. ugh.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159451944614408462006-09-28T08:59:00.000-05:002006-09-28T08:59:00.000-05:00We go through this, too. I've found that delegati...We go through this, too. I've found that delegating specific child-care tasks to my husband works for us - yes, I do most of it, but there are certain things I stand firm on. If he doesn't do it, I don't sweep in and do it for him. For example, for a long time, he was in charge of our son't bedtime ritual, including bathtime. And for a long time, our son was <I>mostly</I> clean...Velmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425566563311066790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159451222993898622006-09-28T08:47:00.000-05:002006-09-28T08:47:00.000-05:00Just wait til Chicky Baby gets old enough to play ...Just wait til Chicky Baby gets old enough to play hairdresser with her friends! (I never did that, but my sister did and the results were terrifying.)<BR/><BR/>Very savvy to realize what you're really angry about. The haircut thing was a minor goof, but the longer-term issue of division of parenting labour is a biggie.<BR/><BR/>From what you've written it seems like the issue is lack of expertise on Mr. C's part and not lack of willingness. I've always been a bit skeptical of the argument that it's really the mother's fault when the dad becomes an absentee father - because she wouldn't "let" him step in. I tend to think that the not-pulling-his-weight phenomenon has more to do with selfishness and laziness. <BR/><BR/>It really doesn't sound like that's the issue with your husband, though, and if he's willing to step up to the plate, I'd say it's time for a crash course in Chicky Baby 101 (which means lots of spa days and shopping trips for you while he gets the bedtime, mealtime, and playtime routines down pat).Beahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15957626443087438904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159446151829945022006-09-28T07:22:00.000-05:002006-09-28T07:22:00.000-05:00After four kids, my husband finally gets our sched...After four kids, my husband finally gets our schedule and does things without me having to remind him it's time for bath, bed, whatever. I still think it is somewhat unequal because when they are hurt, up in the night, or whatever, they want me, not him. I am happy though, because if they only wanted him, I would be sad and that is what I try to remember when I am irritated that I am changing a diaper again while he sits and just plays. He's a great fun dad, and my kids are lucky to have him even if he doesn't do things just how I would.Radioactive Torihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01588217525296865718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159427312750246652006-09-28T02:08:00.000-05:002006-09-28T02:08:00.000-05:00I hear you. I soooo hear you. I've tried to work o...I hear you. I soooo hear you. I've tried to work on the whole co-parenting thing, but what's happened to us is that I feel like I'm always telling my husband what to do. "warm up the bottle", "put on his PJs", "don't forget to brush his teeth". I always have to be the one to remember and instigate these things. It's tiring. I wish he would take more initiative.Cristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07245436504933052526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159419628457336482006-09-28T00:00:00.000-05:002006-09-28T00:00:00.000-05:00Hah. Uh huh. I know exactly what you're talking ...Hah. Uh huh. I know exactly what you're talking about - co-parenting isn't happening in this house either. Drives me crazy.Major Bedheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17669161302510096751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159417369337563562006-09-27T23:22:00.000-05:002006-09-27T23:22:00.000-05:00Poor Mr. Chicky...he meant well. Get her a hat an...Poor Mr. Chicky...he meant well. Get her a hat and ban him from sharp objects for a year. It'll be ok. And even funny...someday. :)Willhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18058563616065772470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17779098.post-1159416708334731902006-09-27T23:11:00.000-05:002006-09-27T23:11:00.000-05:00Cross off hairdresser as alternative career choice...Cross off hairdresser as alternative career choice for Mr. C. Good excuse to splurge on some cute hats!<BR/><BR/>Men sure do know how to get us riled up. I hope you find a co-parenting percentage that works for you.ms bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06997925420763913039noreply@blogger.com