I think I may have lost the ability to write.
No, really. It's lost. I swear I just had it but then I went to pour myself a glass of water and now I can't figure out where I put it... A month ago.
Who am I kidding*? Maybe it's been longer than that. A year? More? It's probably with that red sweater I've been looking for forever.
It could be that I'm lacking in inspiration. It's hard to get inspired when all I do is go from preschool drop-off to playgroups to gymnastics class to Mom and Tots music class and back home so my spawn can get rest. Me? I get laundry.
I'm not complaining necessarily - I signed up for all this stuff. Hell, I signed up for this parenting gig. No one forced me into it, no one tricked me, but I'd be lying if I said the redundancy, the mind-numbing monotony wasn't starting to get to me.
(And for the record, I wrote "MOM-otony" before spell check caught it. True story.)
(Uh Tania, there's someone on the phone for you. A Mr. Freud? Oh sorry, Doctor Freud. He'd like to talk to you about your lingerie? Sorry again, your slip.)
Okay maybe I'm complaining a little. I really don't want to be one of those "What About ME???" people but Christ on a cracker... What about ME?????
(It's safe, I'm done. You can come back now.)
The thing about this here blog o' mine is it's supposed to be a true and honest account of my life, both with and without children (and by that I mean, my life beyond children. I always have them because, well, they won't go away.), so if I were following with that theme I would be honest about the fact that life is kicking my heiny these days. So here goes - Life? Is kicking my ass with its size 12 boot. There's tread marks back there that no amount of miracle creams will remove. And by tread marks, I mean cellulite.
So that's why I'm not writing - I'm waiting for inspiration to come back. In the meantime, I will tackle Mount St. Laundry and play chauffeur and be the seemingly happy-go-lucky, iced coffee swilling, kids-overscheduling, yoga pant-wearing, Uber-mom. But without the closet meth habit. And I will write again when inspiration decides to come out of her hiding place among the lost socks and misplaced grocery store cards and single earrings and random My Pretty Ponies. Which at this rate should be right around 2011.
*Really, who am I kidding? It was gin. Water? Pssh.
We'll be here. Well, I will anyway. (Love the label...writer's bleck. hee.)
ReplyDeleteYou're writing my story, lady. I have got nothing. Well, I've got lots of words, but they make little sense, they're all stored up in my head, and when I fire up the laptop with the goal of writing anything, I think, "Meh...what's on TV?"
ReplyDeletePlus there's homework, which is killing me. And life. Life is a lot. Anyway, I am trying on my choir robe now, because I'm singing the same tune as you.
I can only tell you that it did not turn up around here. I've got blocks of blocks and not even a tire track where inspiration drove through.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to suspect that this writing-on-the-interweb thing sucks. I'll let you know when I find out for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay, Tania, it's the September Effect - life (particularly for anyone within six degrees of a person in school) starts running at double-time. Take a deep breath.....
ReplyDeleteNow let it out, and join the rest of us, sitting in our cars at practices. Did you really think we were on the cell or laptop the WHOLE time? The complaints about the mosquitos on the field? Just cover stories, hon - it's the only place we can have two minutes alone.
I'm with ree: I'll be here in 2011 when you find it again. <3
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, I'm sure the meth addict mom's life is more interesting than the one you're struggling through right now, which would mean there would be more to write about.
ReplyDeleteNot that I'd encourage anyone to use meth or anything.
And I'll just be waiting for more of "It's probably with that red sweater I've been looking for forever."
ReplyDeleteI think that if I were a meth addict, all my posts would look like this:
ReplyDelete!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or something like that.
Yeah, inspiration is slow to flow these days, it seems. I hope it comes back to you soon b/c I miss you!
And, hell, if it makes you feel any better, my last post is called "I ate a hamburger today". I mean, if that isn't making a mountain out of a mole hill, I don't know what is.
ReplyDeleteYou are living a LOT of our lives right now. Mine is over run with adult children, teenagers, tweens and babies. What about ME runs around in my head day after day. I didnt write for a year.. I was too busy having a nervous breakdown.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps .. I gave you a Superior Scribblers blog award over at my blog because I think you ROCK. Even when you write about not being able to write you do it with style! *hands you a bloody mary*
Here's what I do: I read or write in a notebook while I'm sitting in the car line. I find I can't write if I'm not reading and I rarely have time to read anymore...so I keep a book in the car for those times that I'm just waiting. It seems like I'm waiting a lot. I've brought some of my etsy stuff in the car to work on before too.
ReplyDeleteAnywho! I'll be here reading when your muse returns. My muse is fickle these days too.
i agree that this is life and that is what you write about. that is why you have so many readers. if we wanted fluff, we'd be reading tabloids!
ReplyDeletei still enjoy your posts.
I have the same problem. My blog is full of crap lately, but the real stuff going on in my life are too private (Ie, taboo) to talk about.
ReplyDeleteSo I fill it with swelling reviews, generous giveaways, a rant here and there.
You're doing a great job. Motherhood is tough (and all those things you mentioned).
Hey, we'll always have fondue... ;)
I hear ya. I can't even call it writer's block though - the posts are there, I'm just too tired to concentrate on getting them down.
ReplyDeleteLife/work with two kids is beating the creative out of me.
How interesting....read some of your comments. Having the same blog-less inspirations at my site. Hmmm. I think we're all onto something...just can't seem to wrap our minds around how to write about it... No energy? Or just we all simply need a break?
ReplyDeleteWhenever you write, whatever you write, I'm here reading. (On an unrelated note, I kind of hate coming to your blog because every time I do I covet the shoes at the top and then I get sad that I don't have them. But I love you enough that I keep coming anyway.)
ReplyDeleteWe're happy to read about the high and lows, and the small and huge (be it piles of laundry, epiphanies, whatever...)...fitfully inspired or not.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, let's try to catch fondue or something some time soon. I find that when I'm in a rut, girl time always helps. xoxo Christine
Even worse is going to bed with a great idea for a blog post, and somewhere between the midnight pee breaks and back-to-school morning scramble all one can remember is Damn, I had this really great idea for a blog post.
ReplyDeleteget out of my head, no inspiration here either (boo)
ReplyDeleteI had the same "nothing" going on in my life until I applied for and got hired to intern over at momstalknetwork.com. I am a blogging intern for 10 weeks for www.familytvaddicts.com, focusing on Reality TV. I am so excited that I get to watch mind numbing tv and write my feelings & thoughts about it because most of my friends think I am crazy for even watching. I just tell them that when I watch Reality TV's "Drama", I don't have to invite any into my own life. So everyone's happy :)
ReplyDeleteGlad to have found your blog.
Does it make you feel any better that my dog somehow sprouted thumbs and got through three, count 'em THREE, doors today and killed my daughters pet chickens? Seriously? I'm trying to avoid taking out the fact that life is kicking my ass by kicking his. he's a dog, it's what they do but HOW DID HE GET THROUGH 3 DOORS!?!? Sorry. This was about you, no?
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat. What to write about... The short and loud people grow ever taller and the stories somehow become their own more than mine. Meanwhile, what do I have to write about? (Mt. St. Laundry sounds about the size of it.)
ReplyDeleteWhen I opened up Google Reader this morning, it said, "hey, Joe, check out this chicky chicky bang bang blog. We think you'll like it." Well, it didn't really say that, but it was along those lines. So I says, "sure thing, Google Reader, I'll check out Tania's site. Clicky." Again, I didn't say exactly that, but it was close.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I get here to find out that you're uninspired and possibly depressed. Seems Google knows me better than I thought. *me clicks on subscribe link*
I think Mount St. Laundry could uninspire the best of 'em.
ReplyDeleteOh hell Tania! I could have wrote this exact post with my eyes closed. It so hard to *just be a mom* somedays. Here to us both SURVIVING.
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ReplyDelete